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Post by pollyboo23 on Jan 10, 2005 16:54:10 GMT
I am only a new user, but I cant see why anybody would think the site has gone down. It has really helped me coming on to this site, and I think the openess of other people and lots of different topics, stories (even jokes) is really good, and if people want to talk about adult topivs, then why shouldnt they I think issues such as sex are a big issue after having a baby, and especially if you have PND. So people should be able to put on what they want, and how they are feeling,
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Post by francoise on Jan 10, 2005 16:58:34 GMT
polly boo you are so ace , thats what we needed a burst of enthusiasm, i agree completely and to be honest i cant help myself with my topics , and it has helped alot with my situation , my hybby loved hearing me laugh on here and i would go to bed dead happy somenights , and the sex thing helps becasue the more i talk about it the more i can think through it and sort it out in my head , it just all gels together after being on here , talking is such a good healer for many things , yes pollyboo , i do so much agree ...xxxxxxxxxxxx
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jennie
Full member
2 bubs,9 and 4,better though still struggle.
Posts: 59
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Post by jennie on Jan 10, 2005 17:03:52 GMT
If someone's in a bad way then I suppose things can be read differently to how there intended. ie/If a thread's not answered quickly then if someone's already feeling rejected(ok,just an example from when I was cross with the site)
It's good that we can be open and truthful,(I tell you lot more than I'd tell anyone!) If the site can move and grow(that's not even in volume of people)than so are the people who use it....
I know what I want to say but it's not coming out right...
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scrumpy
Senior Member
I'm 34 and have a 3 year old daughter
Posts: 297
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Post by scrumpy on Jan 10, 2005 17:11:07 GMT
I think you said what you wanted to very well Jennie. I'm very much in agreement with you all. The site may have changed with us new users, but change is not always a bad thing. I for one know that when I am down I can always rely on you you lot to get me laughing again. love Toni
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Post by francoise on Jan 10, 2005 17:14:05 GMT
yes and i think that sometimes we will have to try and remember that it is mostly pni sufferers answering the threads so if it doesnt read quite what it is intended surely there has to be abit of compromise both ways , either reading or writing , let people off the hook abit more.....
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jennie
Full member
2 bubs,9 and 4,better though still struggle.
Posts: 59
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Post by jennie on Jan 10, 2005 17:22:25 GMT
And it's important to start your own thread if you feel your needs aren't been met,or a topic you'd like to discuss....
Hey what a team!
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Post by francoise on Jan 10, 2005 17:31:48 GMT
yes jen
sorry i forgot about that but your right im sure xxxxxx
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Babytales
Senior Member
Slipped back down again, but trying my best to find my way back
Posts: 207
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Post by Babytales on Jan 10, 2005 19:11:14 GMT
Hear Hear!
I'm a completely new member, I've only been here a few days and I could not have felt more welcome!
Within days I feel close to a lot of people here, from their warm and helpful replies on my posts, to their special private messages that keep me going.
I haven't replied to many threads as yet, because I don't feel right giving an opinion, as I haven't as yet been diagnosed.
Thanks all for such a great website xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Post by francoise on Jan 11, 2005 14:13:30 GMT
thats so cool isnt it , i love it here to ,its been my haven,love fran xxxx
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Post by Veritee on Jan 11, 2005 15:12:12 GMT
Hi Everyone
I think the problem is - if it is a problem and I do not beleve there is – it is that the site has to try to be all things to all women with PNI!!!
And PNI has as far as I know - no race, cultural, age, wealth, lifestyle, spiritual, educational, religious or any other barriers.
Women who have had babies get it and at least 1 in 15 if not more get it!
So we are potentially all very different people and the site has to try to have the right approach to be welcoming to as many as possible.
This is a difficult task and in addition there is a further juggling feat to achieve
- that of balancing meeting the needs of forum members who have been using it for some time, know each other well and use it for on going support - with the needs of women who have just found the site because they are feeling quite ill and maybe even desperate and need to feel welcome and supported and that they can be safe to share stuff on here they maybe have not even shared with their closest.
This is all a very tall order and if we achieve just a quarter of this - then I think we are doing well!!
Balancing the needs of new visitors with those of ongoing members is why sometimes I have to take action to change the site about a bit - like when I moved the jokes - no one is using this now by the way and it was funny and I miss them.
The other thing is that although I try to keep an on going consistency to a degree, the site's atmosphere does and will change in line with who the more active members are at any one time and who the moderators are.
I do not see this as a problem - just that any 'staff team' and 'user group' for want of better descriptions will stamp their mark on the forum and influence it by what skills, knowledge ,life’s experience and personality they bring to it.
This is bound to happen and is fine.
However I am sure it is a little confusing and I think upsetting to women who come back after a break to find that their have been these changes.
Catherine who was quite upset by how the forum is and more recent return visitors were using the forum at a time when Deborah was very active.
Deborah approach was very different from mine in that she was more objective than I could ever be (or actually want to be - this is not a criticism just that we are coming at this from different places) and she gave advice and support to women in a very objective and knowledgeable way.
She is a qualified nurse and has other current connections in the medical profession so her advice was in part informed by her training.
No one on the forum is at the moment supporting others from this viewpoint and I for one have absolutely no medical training (although their are some on here currently at the moment who are medically trained )but I do have over 20 years of working with peoples personal issues form a very 'hands on' perspective , so the forum now has a different 'feel'.
There are many I expect who would prefer the more 'objective' approach and I know that Deborah’s charity will soon be starting a web site and forum so this will give women more choice - something I am all for.
I think the forum is fine and we are all doing a good job. I always said that if the site helped one woman and did no harm to anyone else - then this was enough.
I think this is what is happening, I know that some recently have said that they did not find the support helpful but I have to say that I do not think this is due to what anyone deliberately said on the forum and that it continues to help more than one woman.
This is more than we can expect.
Keep up the good work
All the best
Veritee
So we are potentially all very different people and the site has to try to have the right approach to be welcoming to as many as possible.
This is a difficult task and in addtition there is a further juggling feat to achive - that of balancing meeting the needs of forum members who have been using it for some time, know each other well and use it for on going support with the needs of women who have just found the site because they are feeling quite ill and maybe even desperate and need to feel welcome and supported and that they can be safe to share stuff on here they maybe have not even shared with their closest.
This is all a very tall order and if we ahchive just a quater of this - then I think we are doing well!!
Balancing the needs of new visiters with those of ongoing memebrs is why sometimes I have to take action to change the site about a bit - like when I moved the jokes, no ne is using this now by the way and it was funny and I miss them.
The other thing is although I try to keep an on going consistancy to a degree, the site's atmosphere does and will change in line with who the more active members are at any one time and who the moderators are.
I do not see this as a problem - just that any 'staff team' and 'user group' for want of better descriptions will stamp their mark on the forum and influence it by what skills, knowledge ,lifes experience and personality they bring to it.
This is boung to happen and is fine.
However I am sure it is a little confusing and I think upsetting to women who come back after a break to find that their have been these changes.
Catherine who was quite upset by how the forum is and more recent return visitors were using the forum at a time when Deborah was very active.
Deborahs approach was very different from mine in that she was more objective than I could ever be ( or actulaly want to be - this is not a critisim just that we are comming at this from different places) and she gave advice and support to women in a very objective and knowledgable way. She is a qualified nurse and has other current connections in the medical profession so her advice was in part infomed by her training.
No one on the forum is at the moment supporting others from this viewpoint and I for one have absolutly no medical training ( althogh their are some on here at the moment who are medacally trained )but I do have over 20 years of workign withpeoples personal issues form a very 'hands on' perspective , so the forum now has a different 'feel'.
There are many I expect who would prefer the more 'objective' approach and I know that Deborahs charity will soon be starting a web site and forum so thiis will give women more choice - something I am all for.
I think this is fine and we are all doing a good job. I always said that if the site helped one woman and did no harm to anyone else - then this was enough.
I think this is what is happening, I know that some recently have said that they did not find the support helpful but I have to say that I do not think this is due to wah tanyone deleberatly said on the forum and that it has helped more than one woman.
This is more than we can expect.
Keep up the good work
All the best
Veritee
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