Hi Netty and everyone
This issue - about whether to have threads in the main support sections that are just for a natter or chat and to get to know each other is one that has popped up time and time again!!!
And why having a chatty thread on the one of the major support areas of the forum does leave me as administrator with a dilemma.
As it is my main job to keep the focus of the forum and to ensure that there are areas on the forum where it feels a safe and appropriate place for woman who may be very ill and desperate to talk about their illness with out feeling that they are risking it being not taking seriously.
We have in he past had more chatty threads on the 'serious' workign sections but we had women not feeling that they had places on the forum that were appropriate for them to post when they had quite distressing issues to raise
( for instance recent threads that come to mind that need to be in sections that are only for 'serious' support and disscussion are 'Very Low' in the introduce yourself section and 'life verses death' in the main support section
veritee.proboards7.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&n=1&thread=1508These are just two examples - there are many more!
My past experince and that of the management committee's, advisors and moderatiors has led me to feel that it would not be appropriate to have these sorts of threads mixed with threads for a light chat type conversations just one or too threads away.........
In the past when this happened forum participants both guests and members became concerned that there where no place where only the 'work' of the forum, of supporting women specifically on PNI issues took place only......
We have since then always kept the main section and especially teh first two areas only for this supporting work and we moved all 'chatty' threads to other areas away from the two main 'working 'areas.
I woudl prefer to keep it like this as I do not think that jokes, chat etc are appropriate on these areas as a theme for a thread.
I may be wrong and I will bow to group decision but perhaps it will help if I tell you the background as to why I feel it works for the forum best this way.
Although many on this forum make friends here and we do joke in our threads and their are areas we have specifically set aside for a bit of a laugh and a joke - this is not a forum designed as a friendship group or to meet social needs as the main priority.
Of course a support forum does have to meet social and belonging needs too, but we have found this is a sensitive issue and that where and how it is done is crucial and has to be done very carefully, considering all aspects and the needs of all who use the forum.
About a year or so was the last time this issue was discussed in length on the forum and by the forum advisors as at that time various 'social' threads were on- going where women had a general chat and an on-going exchanges of interests and at times a laugh in the various 'social' threads - theses threads at times turned into text type one liners and were at times highly amusing and fun for those who were participating.
However, to have fun and chat was not why many women were on the forum.
This eventually led to some women as they were not wanting to use this forum fro a chat, not joining in and eventually feeling that a clique had been formed and that they were excluded and we lost some members who had been using the site for sometime for support - others stayed but ask me for changes to be made and the main main section and at least its too sub sections ‘introduce yourself’ and Post natal Illness/Depression kept only for serious support.....
The feedback was that this was for two reasons mainly
- one as they ddi not use the forum for sociakl needs so did not join in the chat, they felt excluded and ‘left out’ – but this was only an isse if the chat was ion the main support sections as no one had any problem with anyone chatting on a separate area
- and as they used the forum for support for PNI mainly and did not want to it to be too 'light' as then they felt that when they were having a really bad time and needed to offload , that to used the main support areas
i.e
veritee.proboards7.com/index.cgi?board=introand
veritee.proboards7.com/index.cgi?board=generalfor this now felt like it was no longer OK as there was light chat going on quite often so women who wanted some serious support or to introduce themselves in relation to their PNI felt they could not as they were 'bringing every one down'!!!!!
Some women who needed help and support even became too worried to say this on the forum for fear of offending those who were having a light chat so would email me either to ask me to do something to make the forum more serious - or to ask me to support them directly by email and not go on the forum for support .
this put an overwhelming burden on me as I can not support everyone myself and the forum is to support each other
The other reason was that we ceased to get many new members join and few new people posting even as guests. It became apparent why when I started to receive emails from women who had found the forum because they had PNI but were worried that what they needed to say was too 'heavy' for the forum or might bring people down, because when they read the forum the chats in inter spaced with other more serious subjects - this made them wonder if it was appropriate to offload.
Anyway I hope you see why a chatty thread in the working sections of the forum cause me a concern.
I have no worries about it in principle as I like a chat too as does everybody, but what I would like to do is move this thread to a more 'light' area.
This is what we did before and even started sections for it.
But looking at it now I think we divided it in the wrong way as what we did then was split the chats into various sections and areas such as Humour and Wisdom, which includes 'close to the knuckle’, ‘life’s like that’
Recovery and Life after PNI, which includes one of the chat areas, 'Happiness and Joy' which splits it all up too much and makes the chatty side of the forum hard to find or follow.
and for some reason one chat theme got left in the support area , the one called 'sex and stuff.
I recall it was left there because while it is used for a bit of a laugh but its content is mixed as sometimes women have very serious issues to discuss relating to sex and sex is a very important part of healthy and happy adult life and important to the well being of women of all ages and especially through childbearing years – well anytime.
And we felt this section was both light but was also serious as a range of isses relating to sexuality could be discussed there
Anyway what I want to suggest is that I rearrange these sections somewhat - as I can see why a chat thread is needed and why it does not fit in any other section so has been started in the main support area, however I do not feel this is appropriate either.
so I am suggesting I start an area called something like Chat and Fun - perhaps rename the humour section this .
and then move the chat thread to this section under it’s own area.
What do people think?
I am sorry this post is so long but I felt that if I did not explain it properly I might offend or upset women especially Netty who started it and of course was quite right to start a chatty thread , or those who have posted there.
I wanted to explain fully why the thread is great but I feel it should not be in the section it is. I may well be over reacting it is just I may have a different perspectiver than others as I am the administrator and it is my role to have an overview, to keep the focus and ensure that as many women as possible with Pni feel comfortable to use the forum for support for their PNI
Please let me know what you all think?
VeriteeXX