Carmen
Senior Member
2 boys - 5 and 23 months - recovered(but still on AD's)
Posts: 484
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Post by Carmen on Dec 2, 2004 22:46:58 GMT
Hi Francoise - you wild woman - that's 2 in a week isnt it!
O.K. - now since we're back on the sex subject I wanted to ask all you girls out there who are on AD's - Can any of you have an orgasm? Sorry to embarras everyone but I never had a problem before but since being on the AD's I think it's impossible so it makes the whole sex thing seem even less worth while.
Take Care Love Carmen
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Vonda
Senior Member
I am 33 - two daughters, almost 3 years and 9 months
Posts: 302
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Post by Vonda on Dec 2, 2004 22:49:59 GMT
I have read your thread but I can honestly say that I don't know what to say. It's not a good day for me and my thoughts are not coming out right. It sounds like you had a nice night though. Maybe your love life is starting to look up.
Vonda
PS Maybe I'll have more to say tomorrow - my head is just screwed up tonight
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Carmen
Senior Member
2 boys - 5 and 23 months - recovered(but still on AD's)
Posts: 484
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Post by Carmen on Dec 2, 2004 22:59:02 GMT
Hi Vonda
Just read your reply to Fran - Sorry youre on a downer - I know what its like sometimes I feel like my head is so heavy and thick kind of - not making any sense am i but I know what I'm trying to say. Its funny when you're like that though because you think youre not making any sense but you actually are (Hey I'm not making any sense at all now am I?)
Take Care Carmen
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Post by wendabell on Dec 3, 2004 5:23:14 GMT
Hi vonda, dont worry about not being able to post because your heads all fuggy.You do make sence when like this its just more of an effort to do and the spelling goes right out of the window for me.So i guess you will all know now that when im a bad speller im on a downer too.Heres looking for a brighter tomorow for you hunny.Take care.
Now the nitty gritty,SEX Well when you said you did the duty did you actually enjoy it or just go through the motions out of pity and guilt for your hubby.Sorry if that sounds harsh but thats how it is for me. Im still at the stage of not letting my hubby near me,cant stand him touching me even though i love him so much.Every time he cudles me in bed he has to ask my permition.If i say ok after a while his hands wonder and i feel my self pulling away.I cant even talk to him and he only knows my feeling through this site. Orgasm............ Oh who said that ..................... Well ive not had sex since taking meds as had no libido at all its gone and done a runner on me.Before the meds i managed to have sex a little while back but it turned out a disaster. Maybe i should just grit my teeth and let it happen but i know i would hate him for it afterwards. Cant remember the last time i orgasmed.......cant remember much of anything these days.Well it strange how i can tell all you guys on here and not the one person i should be telling. Sex oh one day .May be it should be a xmas present but i aint presuring meself into that one.Not meant as a pun but if it comes it comes.
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Post by wendabell on Dec 3, 2004 7:02:13 GMT
How about the other taboo masturbation!
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Carmen
Senior Member
2 boys - 5 and 23 months - recovered(but still on AD's)
Posts: 484
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Post by Carmen on Dec 3, 2004 8:56:42 GMT
Hi Fran
Firstly please dont feel like your hogging the forum - I'm sure everyone else is like me and actually look forward to a new one starting (that's actually quite weird when I think about it). Plus, all of us have a fear of leaving our homes to some extent so it would actually help everyone to talk about it.
O.K. - now to the nitty gritty! Try not to be so hard on your self Fran about the whole sex thing. I'm sure your hubby understands at the moment, you seem to have an excellent relationship, and it hasnt been all that long since you had your little boy so things will improve.
Well masturbation - sorry cant say I have since before falling pregnant. If I ever feel any urges that's when I will have sex with hubby. He's got sick of the knock backs so just leaves it to me to decide. He does get moody though when he hasnt had it for a while but I just tell him he can take care of it himself!
Take Care Love Carmen
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Post by wendabell on Dec 3, 2004 11:01:21 GMT
Sorry fran if i made your efforts if thats the right word feel put down didnt mean too. Im really chuffed of your achievements so far you are a much braver and stronger person than me at the moment and thats what i meant to put in the reply but as usual it didnt come out that way. Paranoid yep i am aint i...... I love my hubby too even if he too is useless around the house and yep im sticking with him and he with me so we,ll work it out together soon. And gosh start another thread hunny dont feel bad about it thats surely what this site is all about,sharing our experiences of pni and how it effects our life so its all relevent and all matters and we all care and support you.
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Carmen
Senior Member
2 boys - 5 and 23 months - recovered(but still on AD's)
Posts: 484
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Post by Carmen on Dec 3, 2004 11:08:58 GMT
I think both you girls must have pretty good relationships if you can let your husbands read what you've said on these threads. I tell my husband quite a bit but there is no way I would want him to read them. (especially that one earlier in the week - not nice at all!) So not sure what that means about our relationship?? No we're actually getting along pretty well at the moment - I do feel for him, none of this is fair on any of us is it.
Take Care Love Carmen
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Post by wendabell on Dec 3, 2004 11:18:56 GMT
I think we all communicate in different ways.On here i might feel confident to put down my thoughts and clear headed but in reality i fumble in getting my words to form a sentance and to stop myself from crying.And on top of that theres the fuzzy cotton wool head. You might think we are great for letting our hubbys read our thoughts but im enveous of you for talking to yours in person.We are just all coping with this in our own ways.Yep ive put some vile things on here too but he still loves me.I told him via a text today i was a moderator and he already knew and thinks its great and thinks this site is wonderful for us and wants to support me.Hes a great guy even if i could kick him up the bum sometimes for what he doesnt do!
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Carmen
Senior Member
2 boys - 5 and 23 months - recovered(but still on AD's)
Posts: 484
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Post by Carmen on Dec 3, 2004 11:32:21 GMT
Hi Wendy
You just described exactly what I'm like when I talk to other people - everything from the fumbling with words, trying not to cry and fuzzy wool head! I know that I am lucky though that there are three people I can still talk to without feeling and acting this way and I have talked to each of them about it - my hubby, my sister and my sister in law. Its such a strain to try and stop your voice from shaking and act normal isnt it!
Take Care Love Carmen
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Carmen
Senior Member
2 boys - 5 and 23 months - recovered(but still on AD's)
Posts: 484
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Post by Carmen on Dec 3, 2004 11:33:54 GMT
Sorry Francoise
went and changed the subject didnt I..........
Back to the sex...................
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jennie
Full member
2 bubs,9 and 4,better though still struggle.
Posts: 59
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Post by jennie on Dec 3, 2004 16:49:19 GMT
as Fran is showing off about her sex life I find I don't really fancy sex at all,so it desn't happen often(antides do sap my sex drive)but once we actually get started it's fantastic....and yes you can have an orgasum (actually I would be really annoyed if I didn't.) Bit of role reversal I have said to Andrew sorry I've finished...can't carry on..... ;D
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Vonda
Senior Member
I am 33 - two daughters, almost 3 years and 9 months
Posts: 302
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Post by Vonda on Dec 3, 2004 17:55:50 GMT
I spoke to my gp and she said that two things can affect your libido - PNI and anti depressants!!! So the disease stops your love life, and if it doesn't, the cure for the disease does!!!! What hope do we have of turning into raging nymphomaniacs? Maybe they should come up with a female Viagra! It would certainly make our partners happier!
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Post by Mum2Jack2 on Dec 3, 2004 20:18:55 GMT
Evening all,
About the last couple of responses to this thread, I rang my sister and told her I have PNI and she asked me to explain why I think I have got it. I couldnt answer her. I kept thinking about having a wooly head, not being able to string a sentence together, crying all the time, feeling desperate etc etc but I kind of shrugged down the phone. Obviously she couldnt see that shrug and in not so many words told me to be careful that the doctor may have prescribed AD's when I dont actually need them. She is quite a bossy older sister and I couldnt tell her about my leaving my husband last year, knowing she was going to 'go into one' and she did!! She bamboozles me by being aggressive and I just recoil and prove her point even further. One of these days it will all come out in a rant I am sure!!
Anyway as for the sex thing, I am hoping it makes a return soon, although with a 20 week old baby we just simply dont get the time let alone the inclination. Jack now passed his germs to me so my nose is red, I wear a really unattractive lime green t-shirt from Matalan to bed, and am surrounded by snotty tissues!! I have no chance!! We had a really high drive before he came along and sometimes I resent being a mum as its affecting EVERY aspect of life.
Having come out the other side of depression before, I just wish I knew when it was going to lift. Last time it was a fluke and I moved away from where I used to live and changed my life completely which I think helped. I am a full time mum now and that cannot be escaped (not that I want to)....((or do i?)) OH GOD!!
As for wooly heads mine is a permanent fixture at the minute. Just hope it goes soon.
:-)
Mum2Jack - AKA Jigsy
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jennie
Full member
2 bubs,9 and 4,better though still struggle.
Posts: 59
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Post by jennie on Dec 3, 2004 21:05:50 GMT
mum of jack, I can relate to those words..I connot ecape,not that I want to or do I.Oh my God! be gentle with yourself.You got out of this once you say,was it as bad then,you can do it again...., Bossy sisters with a lot to say,also no that one too. If we could answer her question it would be so easy wouldn't it? I can now look at what caused my depression /pni but when I was in the deepest,darkest place of my illness there's no way I could have said why I felt so dreadful. I didn't use a site like this when I was at my worst,I couldn't even put it into words,it's only as I,m getting better that I can analyse where it came from.I was always struggling I feel,I just couldn't do it anymore....
Could you put a little distance between you both,until you've had time to work a few things out? I know sharing on here helped me put things in some sort of perspective...... if not on here then on paper and then throw it away.
I've pages and pages of my ramblings......
Your sister just cares and doesn't know what to do to help!
Hey thank God for those cozy clothes to hide in.I used to wear the same clothes for bed and the day and go out in them.
When I first saw Sarah,my consellor,I was waering clothes I'd slept in and the first thing I said to her was I can't talk to you, your too thin!
She'd encorage me to do something nice for me and it was usually a bath with lavender oil,clean bedding and to lie there with a relaxtion tape.When I did manage it then I would never get to the end of the tape.
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