Post by Veritee on May 27, 2005 16:33:44 GMT
Dealing with the thoughts
Here is a cut down list but there are other suggestions to be found if you do a search for thoughts on the forum:
First of all - keeping a journal is one of the most helpful as this can help identify triggers to your thoughts or in what circumstances they are more likely to happen - or whether they are affected by hormones ( I defiantly had them more 3 days before a period)and if I was criticized at work or if I felt my life was not in my control then the thoughts would be triggered)
Everyones triggers will be different - but it helps to identify them.
*************************
My Suggestions on how to get through the thoughts:
I wrote these down for a woman I supported by post not on the forum but this list might be helpful - these are things that worked for me, you do not have to try them all just find one or too that you think might help you
1. go with the thoughts, stare them full in the face - only do this if you feel safe i.e. someone is with you and you feel confident they can stop you whatever your do
( of course you will not do anything but is makes you feel safe to have someone around you trust like this.)
Or you feel strong enough to do this alone.
Take your thoughts as far as they will go to the worse ending possible then work backwards to where it could have gone differently and put a different ending on them.
2. Let the thoughts flow/ride over your - this is not the same as the first as in this one you do not actually concentrate on the thoughts but you just let them go on in the background i.e. wash over you.
This actually was the best one for me, if in the day time I would often go for a long walk while this was happening in the country with Caja in a front or back pack.
3. Describe to someone else the thoughts as they happen i.e. I am dropping my baby or walking in front of a car – with them holding your hand – you must really trust this other person. I actually could not do this with my partner as I felt as he had to go back to sea and leave me that to hear how horrible these thoughts were would cause him too much stress when he had to leave me on my own with the baby – but I had one friend who I did this with a couple of times – and a counselor took me through them like this which really did help.
4. Keep a journal/dairy of the thoughts – either on the PC or as I did a book beside my bed. I later destroyed it but it really helped to write them down as they were happening.
Keep this to see what you triggers are and see if you can establish at pattern to the thoughts. Some find that hormonal things make the thoughts worse like periods, extra breast feeding – others that it is certain situations ie driving, or behavior from their children. I found that it was when I felt I was not in control of a situation and behavior that my thoughts were worse - I have always had to feel in control of my life
TV pro grammes can also trigger the thoughts for some , the news surprisingly is a common program mothers with Pni can not watch
5. Listen to REALLY loud music and try to get completely involved.
6. put on music and dance dance, dance, dance
7. go down the pub – last resort really – I live in a small village and the landlord of the time really did not mind if I went in with my baby late in the evening or at lunch time. I do not want to give the impression I did this a lot but small Cornish village pubs are really quite different things from going to pubs in towns etc – but I know this is not at all possible for most and I was left using alcohol for self medication to a degree – so probably I can not recommend this really.
8. throw yourself into housework ( actually I hate housework but this did work sometimes)
9. Go to a gym or swimming and spend an hour in thoughtless physical activity ( I used to horse ride too but obviously not everyone has a horse out back and neither do I any more)
**********************************
A suggestion from one woman on the forum – I am sure she will not mind me posting it again
1. write down the thought or thoughts
2. Describe the moods you are feeling & rate the intensity of the mood (0-100%)
3. Write down your automatic thoughts/images by answering questions such as; What does this say about me, what am I afraid will happen, what is the worst things that could happen, etc
4. Write down any factual evidence that supports your initial thought
5. . Write down evidence that does not support the thought
6. Write down an alternative or balanced thought. E.g. Looking at all the evidence is there an alternative way of thinking about or understanding the situation?
7. Rate your mood again (this should hopefully decrease) (0-100%)
If anyone has any suggestions to add to this - please post under this
Thanks
Here is a cut down list but there are other suggestions to be found if you do a search for thoughts on the forum:
First of all - keeping a journal is one of the most helpful as this can help identify triggers to your thoughts or in what circumstances they are more likely to happen - or whether they are affected by hormones ( I defiantly had them more 3 days before a period)and if I was criticized at work or if I felt my life was not in my control then the thoughts would be triggered)
Everyones triggers will be different - but it helps to identify them.
*************************
My Suggestions on how to get through the thoughts:
I wrote these down for a woman I supported by post not on the forum but this list might be helpful - these are things that worked for me, you do not have to try them all just find one or too that you think might help you
1. go with the thoughts, stare them full in the face - only do this if you feel safe i.e. someone is with you and you feel confident they can stop you whatever your do
( of course you will not do anything but is makes you feel safe to have someone around you trust like this.)
Or you feel strong enough to do this alone.
Take your thoughts as far as they will go to the worse ending possible then work backwards to where it could have gone differently and put a different ending on them.
2. Let the thoughts flow/ride over your - this is not the same as the first as in this one you do not actually concentrate on the thoughts but you just let them go on in the background i.e. wash over you.
This actually was the best one for me, if in the day time I would often go for a long walk while this was happening in the country with Caja in a front or back pack.
3. Describe to someone else the thoughts as they happen i.e. I am dropping my baby or walking in front of a car – with them holding your hand – you must really trust this other person. I actually could not do this with my partner as I felt as he had to go back to sea and leave me that to hear how horrible these thoughts were would cause him too much stress when he had to leave me on my own with the baby – but I had one friend who I did this with a couple of times – and a counselor took me through them like this which really did help.
4. Keep a journal/dairy of the thoughts – either on the PC or as I did a book beside my bed. I later destroyed it but it really helped to write them down as they were happening.
Keep this to see what you triggers are and see if you can establish at pattern to the thoughts. Some find that hormonal things make the thoughts worse like periods, extra breast feeding – others that it is certain situations ie driving, or behavior from their children. I found that it was when I felt I was not in control of a situation and behavior that my thoughts were worse - I have always had to feel in control of my life
TV pro grammes can also trigger the thoughts for some , the news surprisingly is a common program mothers with Pni can not watch
5. Listen to REALLY loud music and try to get completely involved.
6. put on music and dance dance, dance, dance
7. go down the pub – last resort really – I live in a small village and the landlord of the time really did not mind if I went in with my baby late in the evening or at lunch time. I do not want to give the impression I did this a lot but small Cornish village pubs are really quite different things from going to pubs in towns etc – but I know this is not at all possible for most and I was left using alcohol for self medication to a degree – so probably I can not recommend this really.
8. throw yourself into housework ( actually I hate housework but this did work sometimes)
9. Go to a gym or swimming and spend an hour in thoughtless physical activity ( I used to horse ride too but obviously not everyone has a horse out back and neither do I any more)
**********************************
A suggestion from one woman on the forum – I am sure she will not mind me posting it again
1. write down the thought or thoughts
2. Describe the moods you are feeling & rate the intensity of the mood (0-100%)
3. Write down your automatic thoughts/images by answering questions such as; What does this say about me, what am I afraid will happen, what is the worst things that could happen, etc
4. Write down any factual evidence that supports your initial thought
5. . Write down evidence that does not support the thought
6. Write down an alternative or balanced thought. E.g. Looking at all the evidence is there an alternative way of thinking about or understanding the situation?
7. Rate your mood again (this should hopefully decrease) (0-100%)
If anyone has any suggestions to add to this - please post under this
Thanks