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Post by winegirl on Nov 20, 2007 20:02:21 GMT
Hi Eve
I am glad you are battling through this hun, though I am sorry you are still suffering. Not long now hun I am sure before you are back in the light, and I hope you will come back and talk to us if you ever feel you need the support x
WG x
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Post by erinjane on Nov 23, 2007 10:29:10 GMT
thinking off you too x
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Post by A Devoted Mummy on Dec 4, 2007 18:34:43 GMT
Hi Eve, The worst thing about this illness is that when it takes hold you can't think rationally. I'm like you, when I am well I know the thoughts I worry about are ridiculous and even when I'm ill I know they are ridiculous but I can't manage to stop myself from feeling really sick and dwelling on them which makes me worse. Faith definately helps to get me through this illness and I am nearly there. 12 months ago I never thought I'd see the days whe most of them I was happy and outgoing again, but I am. I had a wobbly moment today because something somebody said raised an unwanted memory, but this is my first bad day in ages and I am now off the ADs. Panicked a bit today though and thought maybe I should go back on them but I have been fine for 3 weeks without them I've started getting dizzy spells though. Not sure what to do with ADs.
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Post by chelle2467 on Jan 10, 2008 21:19:41 GMT
thankyou so much for posting this, my son is almost 4 and my daughter is n early 7 months and i have fleeting visions that i will end up doing something horrible to them like this. it really does break my heart when i see them. i thought i was just strange and disgusting so have never told anyone about this. even as im typing, i am still wonderng where the punchline is, but i know there isnt one because i know it isnt a joking matter. god im almost in tears reading this and writing it. i dont want to thiugh as i will then have to explain to my husband behind me why i would be crying.
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Post by jemima on Aug 8, 2008 8:43:58 GMT
Hi am new here! Reading these today came as a massive relief;even though I knew it was all part 0f the illness,it was the hardest thing to deal with and the most distressing.Have had it now for 3 and a half years and have just started ADs.Was determined to breastfeed both my girls so battled on on my own for many months.A huge thankyou, J X
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Post by cheshire on Aug 8, 2008 10:49:20 GMT
Hi Jemima
Welcome to PNI ORG UKx
I know how you feel about finding it a relief to know you are not alone with this illness - feel free to post/ come back and chat any time
xx
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Post by jemima on Aug 20, 2008 18:17:13 GMT
In all of this terrible illness,these thoughts have been the worst for me.They are always the ones that do my head in the most and disgust me the most. It has been so bad that I have even thought that if I have thought these things then it is too late and I will never be anything but tarnished. I felt on the road to recovery but last night had one so awful that it upset me all evening and even though I know its the illness, still worried about it terribly. Do I need stronger meds or as you get better do the compulsions and thoughts just get worse for a while?
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Post by winegirl on Aug 20, 2008 20:13:31 GMT
Hi Hun
I dont have the answers for this one I am afraid, But I imagine as with all blips in teh illness that when something starts to be better for a while, when it does come back and bite it feels 10 x worse. I know that is how most of us feel about most of our symptoms and I am sure it is the same for the thoughts too..
How you doing this evening hun?
WG xx
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Post by twinmummy on Aug 21, 2008 0:07:12 GMT
Hi jemima,
So sorry you are having those awful thoughts. I had them too and they were without doubt the worst part of my PNI.
After I recovered I was shocked but also really relieved to learn that these thoughts are extremely common in women with PNI, although they are often the least talked about. I know I still can't bring myself to say the exact nature of my thoughts. They are a terrible symptom of this illness that only a few are brave enough to talk about.
When I was ill I was scared that the thoughts I was having would have a lasting, damaging effect on me and somehow on my children too. But please believe me that they don't in any way and I am now so proud of myself for having got through them. I do know how hard it is to believe this when you are in the midst of it.
Remember hun that no matter how disgusting and horrid the thoughts are, the only person actually being hurt by them is you, not your children or anybody else. You are the one who is truly suffering with this god awful illness.
You are being so strong just to get through each day.
I promise you that one day you will look back and be so proud of yourself for getting over this. The thoughts will go away totally, 100 per cent in the end.
Life will be good again........ it is so hard to believe now but you will be stronger than you were before this happened, and the thoughts will just be a distant, albeit horrible, memory.
Hope this helps in some way xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Post by jemima on Aug 21, 2008 9:21:58 GMT
Thankyou both of you, it knocked me for six the other day.The worst thing is that you feel almost compelled to think them and the what ifs; that then makes you obsess as to whether you actually want to!There is no way that you do of course, just another mind trick. I feel that yes these are the worst things for me, the rest of the time I am always having fun and a laugh with my family and dont have many other symptoms.Outwardly I seem probably very capable, juggling a business and two children! Only people here know the real suffering.Dont know what I would do without this site now, so wish I had found it sooner.
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Post by winegirl on Aug 21, 2008 10:07:15 GMT
Hi Jemima
I am glad you are about over the thought now hun. Noone who has not experienced such a thing could possible imagine how it affects us.
You do so well to manage your business and your children, dont forget to ask for help when you need it though xx
Take Care
WG x
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Post by cheshire on Aug 21, 2008 10:51:18 GMT
Hi Guest,
Just wanted to welcome you to the site!
Hopefulx
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Post by twinmummy on Aug 21, 2008 17:10:56 GMT
Hi hopeful, thanks for the welcome.
I used to come on this site about 2 years ago but didnt post that much. Have been so busy with the kids and stuff the last couple of years and just havn't had time to come on here. Now the children are a bit older I have time on my hands again so thought I would pop back to see how everyone is doing! ! I have forgotten what name I used before (was probably 'Twinmummy' or something).
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Post by winegirl on Aug 21, 2008 19:29:29 GMT
Hi Guest
Welome back. Twinmummy rings a bell! Glad you have come back to talk to us hun xxx
WG x
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Post by twinmummy on Aug 21, 2008 20:59:07 GMT
Thanks winegirl...yes the more I think about it, the more I'm sure I was 'Twinmummy' back in the day...hehe.
Will have lots of time on my hands soon as my girls will be starting school full time in september and my son will be in year 3.
Will definately be able to spend more time on here and try to make myself useful!!
I think this website is fantastic xxxxxxxxxxxx
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