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Post by Scarlet on Jan 8, 2008 10:55:36 GMT
Rachel hun,
Glad you managed to ride it out, you will get better at it as time passes, and when you stop giving the panic attacks any weight they will disappear.
Hope the course helps. I don't have panic attacks anymore and I truly believe that arming yourself with information and educating yourself about this dreadful illness is one of the keys to beating it.
Keep talking Rach, you are talking to folks who understand and have been where you are now.
Love and hugs
Scarlet X
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Post by rachelk on Jan 8, 2008 11:01:23 GMT
Have started this program online. Looks great - a good alternative if you can't get a CB Therapist.
It has some really useful tools for monitoring progression and helped to actually put feelings onto screen.
Ta
Rachx
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Post by Scarlet on Jan 8, 2008 11:06:04 GMT
You are welcome hun, if you need anything ask away.
Love Scarlet X
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Post by Scarlet on Jan 8, 2008 11:43:30 GMT
Don't know if you managed to ring up APNI Rach,
but if you didn't feel comfortable with ringing them in the first instance, perhaps you could email them, I know they do email support as well.
info@apni.org
APNI offers help, advice and support to women affected by postnatal depression. There is a network of volunteers who provide postal, telephone or email support to depressed mothers.
Scarlet X
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Post by samantha77 on Jan 9, 2008 17:32:29 GMT
Hi Rachel,
How's things? Hope you have not been too bad!!
Did you manage to get a app with the doc to talk about ref to CBT therapy?
Also did you mange to contact the APNI?
I remember that it took me a while to get through but once you do, it's well worth the wait.
Take Care hope your OK.
Sam xx
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Post by rachelk on Jan 11, 2008 12:06:07 GMT
Hi all, Well am having a very bad day today! I went to see doc on Tues and they were great. Have referred me to GP based counsellor who I can 'tell my story' to, then they will refer me for CBT if they think I need it. Mon-Thurs were great, I booked my first son' birthday party (9 months in advance!), went for Reike (a voucher I got for xmas) etc. etc. Then last night I had another horrendous panic attack. I am n0w in that awful cycle of beating myself up, crying, hating myself etc. which happened after first 2. I also can't stop crying! I have rung APNI today and they were great. They are sending me some stuff for my hub to read as he is just clueless about it and finds me very hard to understand. I am also going to face telling some people as I am sick to death of putting on this image of a perfect mum, perfect hair, clothes, job, house etc. It is tiring me out. I told a work friend yesterday and today I may tell some mums who I know!! It may help - we'll see.
Take care all of you and speak soon.
Rachel
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Post by cheshire on Jan 11, 2008 14:39:34 GMT
Well done Rach for ringing APNI - great that they have helped you outx Panic attacks are just awful - but as you say, telling people can help ( I found that anyway)
Keep in touch Thinking of you Hopefulx
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Post by samantha77 on Jan 11, 2008 14:49:00 GMT
Hello Rachel,
The PNI is renowned to be terrible one min and OK the next- this is why we have good days and bad days. Eventually though you will start having more good days than bad.
The panic attacks by the sound of what you have said are draining you, and they do, i remember having so many everyday that i just give up in the end, I sat in the bath one day contemplating the razor- i just could not shake the fear off and then as a knock on effect of being so confused i lost the will to live for a while. But i am still here and SO glad i never made that decision at that time, cause since then i have had so many wonderful moments with my children, and i am on the way up.
Your judgment on things become clouded over and it is as if someone has removed your brain, took away the ability to see things positively and enjoy life and then put it back.
It sounds like your good days are very productive which is fantastic u can use this time to get things done and then rest on the days your not feeling so well.
We all put ridiculous expectations on our selfs about how we should be coping, but it really doesn't help as we tend to focus on what we are not doing rather then what we are doing. Everyone struggles with children and balancing life, so try and be kind to yourself and who cares what over people think!!!! they most properly will still think that you are coping really well and be more moved by the fact that you have got pni on top of having a new baby- so you are doing remarkable well.
Sorry to hear that you are having a bad day, it might be worth keeping note of your periods as i went really down hill a week before my period and a week during, it might not happen to you but its worth thinking about so you can expect to be feeling worse- but at least you know its because of your periods and once they stop you start feeling better.
Your doing really well Rachel alot better than i did when i was in the start of the illness. Although i know you dont feel like that- but that is just the pni making you think in such a away x
Take care sam
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Post by rachelk on Jan 12, 2008 8:54:24 GMT
You are all so nice, I cry every time I come on this site!!
Feeling OK today. Had about 12 hours sleep last night (thankfully number 2 son decided to sleep through!) so I think I have shrugged off some of the exhaustion.
Am arming myself with loads of info now and have started filling out the diaries that were on that panic center webiste. They are helping me find a bit of a pattern and it helps me to understand what this is all about.
Will keep a record of periods as well. Although they haven't started properly yet which may explain some of my ups and downs.
My number one son is sleeping at his auntie's tonight so I should get another relaxing evening. I am going to try and visit some relatives today - will see how that goes!
Thanks again all of you. I will keep you posted.
Here's to some good days this week!!!!
Rachel
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Post by cheshire on Jan 12, 2008 11:47:04 GMT
Hi Rachel,
Hope you do have a relaxing evening tonightxx
Here's to next week, hoping it's ok.
Love and thoughts, Hopefulxx
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joyce
New Member
Posts: 11
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Post by joyce on Jan 15, 2008 20:14:37 GMT
Hi all, I'm also new to this site. Racehl I have been experiencing the same feelings as yourself. I had PNI after my first child 6 years ago, he was 18 months by the time I got dianosed and I was in a terrible way by then. I have today made the decision to go back on my Ad's as I can feel myself going down the same road and last time. Hopefully I'll nip it in the bud. I so forgot though how bad the tablets make your feel at first
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Post by rachelk on Jan 17, 2008 13:45:39 GMT
Joyce, Good to hear from you and hope you are feeling OK today. It is now 17 days since I started with the proper dose of ADs and I can safely say that I feel a lot better. I am a bit less zonked in a morning and am really starting to feel a bit more positive about life. I haven't had a panic attack for 6 days and am feeling OK about that. I am trying not to get upset if and when I have another, just to see how long the 'good periods' can last.
Hope things get easier with ADs and take care.
Rachel
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