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Post by Mum2Jack on Feb 1, 2005 8:55:14 GMT
Morning. Well my grievance letter went in and the meeting is set for this Thursday at 4.30pm. I pick Jack up from Nursery at 5!! Looks like they are trying to make the meeting brief so i suspect this is where I get my P45 and a kick in the wotsits. I really dont feel right at all this week. I am desperately trying to put my finger on what it is....I have been sleeping on a washing line. I cant last the day without a minimum of 2 hours sleep in the afternoons. Anyone else get like this? I am falling asleep when jack goes to bed and then feeling absolutely awful when he wakes up first and i still dont feel like I have had a full quota of sleep. I think my brain is just 'conking out' as I cant cope with whats going on at the moment. I really need to get my head round what it is I want to say at this grievance meeting. They will pressure me into going back but to me they have completely burnt their bridges now and the only way I could possibly return is if they sack the other girl, which although I am annoyed she was bold enough to nick my job, I wouldnt wish that on her. I am allowed a buddy in the meeting but i havent made many buddies at the company, as you cant really if you work in payroll. People are so nasty on pay day I withdraw from most people there, as I cant be the type of person who is buddy-buddy one minute and taking a tongue-lashing the next. Thats just me I guess. So I will have to front this on my own. At this rate I will be a quivering wreck. Anyway - I am going to write some words down on a piece of paper as my head feels really muzzy today. I am fed up of battling this illness, battling everyone and not getting anywhere. Anyway rant over. Jiggles
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Post by fran on Feb 1, 2005 9:43:52 GMT
hi jiggles i remember when my sister had a meeting with the big bosses at her works , she was a manager for an employment agency , and when she went back after the baby her job had changed and she was under this woman who she was boss over before and this woman made her life hell as if to drive her out , well she wrote letters to the higher bosses and she had that meeting , its really important i remember her saying that you do take someone with you as a witness really , she never had any frie4nds there at the company but she did take a lady in that she thought was quite a decent woman and wasnt to in with the bosses either , anyway sorry if its no help , just that it worked out better that she did have some one as they can walk all over you else hunny' love francoise
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Post by jezabel on Feb 1, 2005 10:03:55 GMT
have to agree with Fran on this one....is there anyone you respect who you could take in with you...This is a big big and the likely hood you won't actually "hear" exactly what they say as they try and wriggle out of what they have done.... I think it's important that someone is there for you to tell you in detail the bits you might miss.
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Post by wendabell on Feb 1, 2005 10:04:26 GMT
jiggles, you are allowed to take almost anyone as a buddy into that meeting.Are you in a union if so a rep.Do you have a personal freind at home you could bring? What about the woman you said you were going to be working with and she was your friend? The sleep thing.....my hubby says to me well at least you had a good nights slepp last night? Yep i slept for 12hours the other night but it might as well only be one.Then i fell asleep with the bab on my lap and my son on the sofa whilst i was rubbing his feet. To be honest when im stressed out and really low i could sleep for england and still need more.I dont have problems in going to sleep as such just getting restful quality sleep. With everything you are going through at the moment im certainly not suprised that you are so tired.I only have to have a small blip in a day to send me spiraling down this must be totally wearing you out poor love. I dont know what else to say right now but your in my thoughts and you know where we are if you need a hug. x.x.x
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Post by susie on Feb 1, 2005 10:21:09 GMT
hi Jiggles,
i just wanted to send you my support for thursday, I will be thinking of you, is there any way that your husband could pick up Jack from nursery or could you arange for him to stay a little later, just to take the pressure off you having to be out of the meeting quickly, you dont want to be having to be concerned about the time, also I think it is a good idea like you say to write some things down to take with you, that way you can be sure that you have the facts with you. I know this will be such a tough meeting for you but you can do it! you are strong enough for this, you didnt get where you are today without determination,
take care and rant on here as much as you need
Susie x
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Post by cokey on Feb 1, 2005 12:47:37 GMT
Mum2Jack
I have to agree. I know from these thinsg at work that a buddy is a witness. Someone from your union should be able to attend. If it is too short notice, they should reschedule for you. Otherwise, I am sure someone you worked with will go with you. It is a difficult one because I nearly got to that stage and I was thinking of all the people I could take with me but then I thoughht they may not want to. Please reconsider the union rep though. Alternatively, would they let you record the meeting or take minutes?
Good luck whatever you decide. I am sure the amount od sleep you are needing is related to the amount of stres you are under.
I will be thinking of you. You don't deserve this hassle.
Cokey xxx
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Post by annag on Feb 1, 2005 13:16:32 GMT
Good luck hopefully you will get some conclusion on Thursday the longer this drags on the harder it will get. Dont let them pressurise you into leaving if you want to be off long term sick then do they cant do anything about it.I agree with the others take a buddy as a witness I'd even consider recording the interview. Can you take your husband or your Mum in perhaps. The sleep thing must be stress related I'm sure.
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Mum2Jack not logged on
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Post by Mum2Jack not logged on on Feb 1, 2005 14:10:41 GMT
Panic panic!!
I rang a union but i cant join to get representation in the meeting as the forms wont be signed in time etc etc. I have an old phone list at work and the one person i thought of is off on holiday today grrrr. I cant take my friend in because she is in HR so there would be a conflict of interests there, plus she text me that she has to have an emergency scan this afternoon as her baby isnt growing and she is losing blood.
I am shaking here - not sure if its the meds or not. I think I can front them on my own but really dont want to have to. Fell asleep in bed at 10am after writing this post and got up at 1pm. Whats the matter with me? Jacks at nursery today thank heavens otherwise I dont know what I would have done.
I know you are here to support me and when I saw 6 replies just now my heart brimmed over. You are all so helpful and its nice to feel supported. I know I go on about this all the time but its just wearing me out when really I could do with being on a beach in Spain with a shrink and a large glass of something strong!
Need to go and pick my niece up from school as her little sister is unwell and has come home early with the barking cough Jack had.... hes kind like that and shares his germs!!
Thanks again for listening you are all treasures.
Jiggly
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Post by jezabel on Feb 1, 2005 16:40:27 GMT
jiggles,I wish I'd had somewhere like thios to have poured out all the trouble that went on for me when I was laST IN PROPER EMPLOYMENT...(8yrs ago)I wish I could come along with you on Thursday,but. 1.I'm in Liverpool(don't know where you are) 2.I'd probably end up crying for you.
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Post by Veritee on Feb 1, 2005 23:07:53 GMT
Hi Jigles
The only reason I have not responded before now was I was trying yo think of a constructive thing to say to help.
But I have racked my brains but can not think of anything except to try to pospone it until you can get some support from someone.
But this may not be possible and you may want not to delay it further?
I reminds me of the horrible experience of a case conference for Caja when she was 10 months.
I could get no one to go and support me, Barry was at sea and they would not delay it till he came back, my friend was going to come but realised that as she worked for social services she could not - a conflict of interest like your friend - and no one else could make it at the time it was!
I felt so alone and scared.
But actually the fear helped me to fight my corner and in some ways it was my fineist hour as I finally got it together to be assertive and stop them taking the action they had in mind.
I wrote down what I wanted to say on paper to prepare and this worked well.
Have you got someone to pick up yur child as you really need not to be forced to cut the meeting short. Does your buddy have to work for them too? If not how about your partner taking time off to come like was suggested by someone else.
Another thing I would recommend is to take a recorder ie one of those small dictaphone ones.
I have one that becasue I have no memory I take to consultants interviews, incapacity beneift things, etc.
It is small enough to record while in my bag and it depends on the situation as to whether I ask if I can record the interview - If I think they will refuse - I don't ask. I expect I am breaking the law somehow not to ask , but I need to be able to know exactly what was said and this works for me?
All the best
Veritee
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Post by wendabell on Feb 2, 2005 2:43:41 GMT
jiggles, right now listen girl first thing in the morning you are going to ring the hr and say that due to child care issues you cannot make that appointment and have to rescedule.they have to allow that for child care reasons.then you join the union and fill out forms and get a date so they can come with you ....you dont go in there alone girl you need support.
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Post by wendabell on Feb 2, 2005 6:28:19 GMT
sorry if above post sounded harsh had to rush it as at work. Please concider it though as its not nice to have to suffer that all alone i know . You need someone with you to take notes and to think clearly for you.And to show them at work that you mean buisiness. You have your rights in this situation so abuse them to the hilt girl. please post later, My thoughts are with you love and hugs wendy x.x.x
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Post by Mum2Jack on Feb 2, 2005 8:58:15 GMT
Hey Wendy - no offense taken at all...in fact I need telling sometimes. My friend Kate was on the phone earlier yesterday telling me I should sack off lots of trivia thats going on in my life at the moment and concentrate on whats going on. Anyway - I just read your post and we need to concentrate on you today. Hope the doc is good for you and comes through. I have got to pick Jacks nana up shortly but should be on later as I need a break from hoovering and ironing. If you get meds just remember that it takes a while to feel better and we are there for you in that short term. Everything you typed to me seemed absolutely normal. You have a heck of a lot on your plate at the moment and your reactions to your situation are perfectly normal. You just need some help and support thats all. I am here for you in any way i can be. If you need a whinge just shout. Jiggly
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Post by wendabell on Feb 2, 2005 10:21:40 GMT
jiggles thanks im back now but i still think that your work issue should not be resolved alone hunny. your so kind about what i wrote too.i feel so awful im that way i know it cant really be me. How is your dad? did you go and see him and explain everything?
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Post by nickynoo77 on Feb 21, 2010 3:44:22 GMT
i have just read your thread about your grievance meeting and i was appauled. i work for the local council and they were and still are fantastic support. what i will say to any facing problems with work not sure if it's only in scotland but PND is covered under the disabillity discrimination act which when dealing with unsupportive employers is a handy piece of information to have. i only wish i had joined the site sooner. please let me know how it went nickyx x x
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