kb
Senior Member
Posts: 224
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Post by kb on Sept 11, 2009 12:38:01 GMT
Thanks everyone. I am not feeling as bad as I did last week. I still don't feel 100% but I guess it will take time and you're right Monica the 'be kind to myself' message is important just now. There's no point in wishing that I could change the past, I just have to let go of it as I have before and enjoy the time we do get together.
My life seems so busy and full just now with work and starting a business, that I need to make sure I look after myself. Why is it so much easier to say than do?!?
K
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Post by monica on Sept 11, 2009 12:48:38 GMT
I know what you mean - the theory seems so simple. But glad you're feeling better - give it another couple of weeks and you'll be back to your normal self.
What business are you starting? Sounds very rewarding!
Take care
monica
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kb
Senior Member
Posts: 224
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Post by kb on Oct 19, 2009 12:34:53 GMT
Thanks Monica.
I'm starting a cookery school next year - or at least that's the plan. But see my post in off topic, right now I'm not sure what the future holds.
Kx :-(
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Post by monica on Oct 19, 2009 14:38:00 GMT
Hi
Wow -cookery school - sounds brilliant. I'd be up for that!
Just read your other post - hang on in there - it might not be as bad as you think and even if it is it might be a starting point to resolve things. However, sending you big hugs as it is a very stressful situation.
Love
Monica
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Post by winegirl on Oct 19, 2009 16:25:50 GMT
Have replied in your other post kb. Am thinking of you this evening and hope you get some answers xxx
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kb
Senior Member
Posts: 224
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Post by kb on Jan 24, 2011 11:18:51 GMT
I feel a bit like a homing pigeon! Something comes up that relates to pnd and I jump back here because I know its a space where people understand. I'm trying to get to a stage where I feel comfortable about our decision not to have another baby because we don't want to face the risks involved in me being ill again, but it does feel really hard and unfair. I decided yesterday that I'd like to have some kind of ending ceremony to finally put a line under having pnd and being totally recovered. It feels important that I finally put it to rest, and step fully into enjoying being a family of three and the relationship I have with my daughter and the relationship I'm re building with my husband. I thought about boxing up my journal from that time and anything else I can find that reminds me of having pnd and putting it all away, but I'd love to know if any other pnd survivors have done anything to put their pnd firmly in the past?
Choosing not to have another baby feels really difficult and feels like its not really been a choice but I'm trying to look at it from a different perspective and see that we do have a choice and that choosing not to have another baby is the right choice for us for now but that equally doesn't mean that we couldn't make a different choice in the future (I'm nearly 34). My daughter is wonderful, will be 6 this summer and I just wish I could finally let go of the feelings of hurt, anger and unjustness about having lost so much of the early years with her and the potential that it means she will never have siblings and I will never be pregnant again. How can I leave the hurt behind?
Kx
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Post by juppster on Jan 24, 2011 12:33:35 GMT
Hi there I can't really comment on this as im still suffering myself and we are currently deciding whether to have another child or not so i understand your predicament. I hope some of the other ladies come along later and offer some suggestions for you...good luck x
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kb
Senior Member
Posts: 224
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Post by kb on Jan 25, 2011 8:32:08 GMT
Thanks Juppster, I hope you make a quick recovery and I take my hat off to you for thinking of having another child while you are still ill. Thanks for taking the time to reply, I think I maybe have to work through this on my own. What makes it more difficult is that my husband doesn't want to talk about it and as that's very unlike him I'm not sure whether its because he finds it painful too, or because he's adament we're not having another child, or because he blames me, or because he feels guilty, or for some other reason. I'd love to talk with him about it. He listens to me, but won't tell me how he feels and that's hard because it's a shared decision.
I'll let you know if I come up with any magic solutions!
Kx
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Post by juppster on Jan 25, 2011 8:40:57 GMT
Good luck x
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Post by winegirl on Jan 25, 2011 9:04:09 GMT
Hi kb
I am glad you have come back to us to talk about this. I like you have the one daughter who will be 5 in may, and like you, I feel I cannot have anymore children due to PNI. Working in the area, I am the first to encourage those who want to do it again, because there is so much support and help available now in the prenatal period. However, it is an individuals choice and I choose not to.
Like you though, I struggle to come to terms with this. Ideally it would be lovely for my daughter to have a sibling, and when i have been on the MBU and left dealing with newborns i do get broody. So I know where you are coming from with this.
I am not sure when we draw a line under pnd. I guess for me i never will as I have chosen to follow a career path in perinatal mental health, that is my coping mechanism. I guess we move on, new things and experiences happen to us over time and it begins to fade. I know that Veritee is well and truly over PNI now, having been where we are today.
We are always here mate whenever you need to talk xx
Love
WG x
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Post by monica on Jan 29, 2011 19:54:40 GMT
Hi
Great to hear from you and that you are well. Did you start up your cookery school?
It's a personal choice whether to go on to have more children or not and everyone is different. PNI does rob you of so much and the pain of that can make a huge difference to any decision.
If you've made up your mind then some sort of ceremony even if it's just for yoruself sounds like agood idea to put this horrible illness behind you good and proper and give you closure. It's sad your oh won't talk to you about it - perhaps if you knew what he thought it might also help you have some closure. Maybe write him a letter or somehting on those lines suggesting he could do the same back to you explaining how it would help you tomove on if you knew what he thought?
Do let us knowhow you get on
Love
Monicax
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kb
Senior Member
Posts: 224
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Post by kb on Apr 19, 2013 20:26:50 GMT
Gosh I didn't think I'd be coming back to post here. I am doing some work with a counsellor for other reasons and she's invited me to write the story of my pnd so I wanted to come back and read my diary. To be honest that feels a bit much right now so I'm going to copy it into a separate document where I can read it again in the future.
Sadly my marriage ended last year so life has given me more steps to travel. I do think that pnd was a contributing factor, and at the same time I know that there is more to the story than that. I do still wonder if / how you ever completely leave it behind.
For now I'm doing ok, life is different than I had imagined, and I am still so grateful for the support I got on this forum.
Now off to copy all my posts from years ago....
KB
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