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Post by Jay on May 16, 2007 18:34:19 GMT
Hi Rose,
Sorry that you have had a not so good day. I am hoping the meds kick in for you soon. Don't worry about the house work, it is hard to do it when you feel like Poo. I like to see dust and stuff all over the place it feels more like home. I end up hoovering the dust sometimes.
Don't feel guilty while you are not too well, you need a bit of a break at the moment. If you had an ordinary job and was not well, you would be off sick. And would rest up. Its harder when you still have to be Mum and keep house, as well as being poorly.
Take care, Jay xx
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Post by caterina on May 16, 2007 19:11:00 GMT
Hi Rose I saw this on a fridge magnet the other day and it describes my house perfectly 'You can touch the dust but please don't write in it' !! Your meds will take time to kick in so be good to yourself in the meantime. Sod the housework, enjoy your daughter and who cares if the spiders take over. You'll get there xx
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Post by cheshire on May 16, 2007 19:14:31 GMT
I have another fridge magnet similar to that ''dust can only get so thick''.
xx
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Rose
New Member
27 year old mum of 15 month old!
Posts: 23
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Post by Rose on May 18, 2007 7:42:23 GMT
Just dropped Milly off at nursery, had a bad day yesterday, felt sick again all morning and light headed the rest of the day.. I hope this passes soon... Didn't get much sleep last night, went to bed at 11pm and I was still awake at half 1.. not sure when I finally fell asleep but I kept waking up again. The doc said the tablets I am on should help me sleep too, not sure how, but they don't seem to be helping with sleep.. My head does feel less fuzzy today, but still feel light headed.
Not sure what I will do the rest of the morning while Milly is at nursery, its sunny this morning, so might sit in the garden. Will write more later. X
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Post by winegirl on May 19, 2007 13:13:27 GMT
Hi Rose
Did you have a nice time sitting outside yesterday? If you didn't sleep much the other night this may have contributed to the fuzzy head, I find mine gets worse if I am tired (although tired all the time thee days!).
How are you today?
Take Care
Winegirl x
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Rose
New Member
27 year old mum of 15 month old!
Posts: 23
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Post by Rose on May 20, 2007 19:30:44 GMT
Hi Winegirl Yes had nice time out in garden on friday, didn't stay out too long as I had a head ache. Yesterday I did not do much really, I am starting to feel a bit better each day now, I felt less sick today and my head is less fuzzy, I got more sleep last night, and Milly didn't wake up in the night, so that was good.. Today I feel more relaxed, things have happened today that I would normally stress about and would make me shout, but I just stressed for a few seconds and then it didn't bother me any more, which is such a relief, and its so strange after so long not to feel so stressed and tired, I still didn't really want to play with Milly much today, I still kept pushing her away a bit, but I hope as I feel more relaxed it will get better and I will get to know her better.. Sounds odd because I spend all day with her, and I feed her and look after her, but I don't really know her.. Its hard to explain really, I don't know if other people have felt like this.. My friend asked me the other day what her favourite animal was and I didn't really know, so I had to lie and I felt so rubbish and such a waste off space. Better go now and put her to bed. X
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Post by marion on May 20, 2007 19:45:49 GMT
Hi Rose I can sympathyse when you say you dont want to play with your daughter and keep pushing her away. I too feel the same and feel so sad when I see how esy my husband finds it to play and be cheerful with her when I just dont feel that. Hopefully it will come with time as it will for you.
I am glad to hear you are feeling a little better in other ways though. Not feeling so stressed and sleeping better are such positive things you must be heading in the right direction. Love Marion.
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Post by Jay on May 20, 2007 21:17:01 GMT
Hi Rose,
I am glad too that you feel a bit better.
I think I understand what you were talking about when you say about not knowing Milly. When we are not well with depression or pni we sort of exist. The way I would explain things from my view is that - Its almost like having blinkers on, we work on automatic pilot and we are tired and exhusted all the time. And we seem to be fighting, not understanding why we don't feel right. So we don't enjoy the playing with our child bit mainly coz we are knackered. And I think that we miss things going on around us too when we are not well. I sometimes say about missing things, and my oh says you did not miss it you was there. But its like sometimes I watch a program on tv, and when its finished, I haven't a clue what happened. Does it make sense to say that we lose time?
I think as you begin to feel better, things will seem different.
Today I noticed day light. Now its always light in the daytime. But this morning I noticed the sunshine, and the daylight looked different it looked more alive, more sunny and bright. And It was different today, as if I had seen it for the first time, it made me cry, I felt relieved as it is another step out of the deep dark hole.
You will probably think I am a right crazy woman writing all this rubbish!!!
Anyway, I am so glad things don't seem so bad. Its a bit of a long slow progress, but it sounds like you are moving forward.
well take care Jay xx
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Rose
New Member
27 year old mum of 15 month old!
Posts: 23
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Post by Rose on May 21, 2007 11:17:59 GMT
Hi Jay I understand completely what you said about losing time, and just existing, everything just goes by so quickly sometimes that you don't even know what your doing, as you said about TV, I have watched lots of things and straight away not know what its about, or my husband asks what's going on in a film and I have not got a clue.. I don't think your crazy as its exactly how I have been feeling but its really hard to explain to people what it feels like, its kind of like dreaming, and when you wake up in the morning you forget what it was all about, and its a bit fuzzy.
Today I have a head ache again, and I have not felt stressed yet. Just like a zombie again.. I am supposed to being going to the post box to post a cheque to pay a bill, I know its important to post it, but I just can't get any energy or enthusiasm to go and post it... I just keep saying to my self "ok I will just do this and then I will go" but its just gone 12pm and I still have not done it... I just want to be a hermit today.. Sometimes I look out of the window and see people walking past with all there friends laughing and I wish I could be like them, enjoying going out and being confident, that's how I used to be, now I just feel like a broken baby minding machine.
Ok now I am going to go out to the post box, its only down the road, a few hundred yards, come on woman get it together... X
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Post by sianyc on May 21, 2007 21:16:04 GMT
hi This will get better. The fuzzy head, the sleeplessness - everything. You will get through it and be a stronger person by the end Who knew babies had favourite animals anyway!!!
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Rose
New Member
27 year old mum of 15 month old!
Posts: 23
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Post by Rose on May 25, 2007 7:31:28 GMT
Been feeling ok last few days, got the health visitor coming round today to see how things are going.. I took Milly to nursery just now, started taking her in a bit earlier and picking her up later so I get more free time, but still don't know what to do with it!!! My husband is planing a trip to Ireland for us all to go stay with his mum, but not really looking forward to it, as it just rains all the time and I don't really get on with my mother in law... She just makes me feel even more of a bad mum as she always tells me how I should be doing things like I am doing something really wrong...
Well better go now as HV will be here soon.. X
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Post by caterina on May 25, 2007 9:59:01 GMT
Hiya Rose It's a mum/MIL thing..I had both in my living room the other day and you would have thought I was the worst mother ever..'put some socks on that child' 'don't let her walk with that' blah blah..they're trying to help but it doesn't when you're feeling sh**! Could you hubby have a word? Hope all goes well with HV xx
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Rose
New Member
27 year old mum of 15 month old!
Posts: 23
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Post by Rose on May 25, 2007 10:44:45 GMT
Hi Caterina HV visit went ok, she has set me more things to do, like thinking about what makes me stressed and trying to control it, and she told me to walk into town and go to a coffee shop by my self when Milly is a nursery, not looking forward to that!!!! I have said to my hubby lots of times "if your mother says one more thing I will shout at her tell her to get out" but her just says she means well and I can't say anything to her, although I think he did get just a little bit annoyed once when she was trying to tell him how to feed her and I could see is eye boiling up, so he knows what she like but just too chicken to tell her to shut up... But what really gets me is the fact that she thinks she knows how to do everything and is always telling me she knows best, but she is the one who walked out on my hubbys older brother and sister when they were small and never went back, she gave up one disabled child when he was about 5 as she could not cope and then mollycoddled my hubby to death so that all his brothers and sisters are now very jelouse of him and they don't talk... So I don't think she is the right person to give me advice really... I have always felt anger towards her for giving up her disabled son for adoption and can never understand why she did and then went on to have and keep my husband and his younger sister, she just didn't want a disabled child, and that makes me angry as you should love all your children no matter what, not have favourites...
Anyway I am going out for a walk soon to the park where its nice and quiet to try and relax a bit before I have to pick up Milly... X
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Post by caterina on May 25, 2007 13:21:55 GMT
Hiya Rose I hope you enjoy your walk and don't let MIL get to you, you're a fab mummy and don't forget it! xx
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Post by cheshire on May 30, 2007 16:01:09 GMT
Hi Rose
How are things with you?
Hopefulxx
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