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Post by elisavoula on Apr 22, 2009 10:41:05 GMT
Hi everyone!!
**Lack of Mother and Baby Psychiatric Units**
It has been ages since I last updated you all. I've had a rough time of late but am doing much better now. Eliana is now 9.5 months old and growing nicely. I am writing to you from Sydney, Australia and am after some support and advice.
In July last year I gave birth to my daughter and was admitted to Westmead Hospital's adult psychiatric ward several days later, requiring a stay of one month. During this time I was allowed to have my baby stay with me on the ward and was provided with the services of nursing staff especially dedicated to assisting me with my baby. They helped me cope with my new role as a mother and fostered a strong bond between myself and my baby. They made me feel safe and cared for during a time of inner turmoil. When I was again admitted early this year I was devastated to discover that I was no longer allowed to have my daughter stay with me due to a new hospital policy. I spent three very lonely and painful weeks in hospital without her. Suffering puerperal psychosis after having lost one baby to neonatal death a few years ago, the separation caused me a lot of heartache, constantly worrying over my newborn's health and completely losing confidence in my mothering capabilities. In addition to this, having to cease breastfeeding due to medications left me grief-stricken. Being without my daughter was torture and I struggled to connect with her upon discharge. To this day I still feel guilty for not being able to care for my baby and I feel cheated that I missed out on her reaching some milestones.
From my experience, I believe that the welfare of mother and baby should be paramount. Motherhood itself is difficult enough without having to contend with a mental illness. Mental illness can be debilitating, isolating and very frightening. Mothers with a perinatal mental illness need nurturing, a safe place to recover and at the same time they need to bond with their babies. No mother should be separated from her baby at such a critical time. It is great that there is the postnatal depression screening process in place for women, but the support falls short when it comes to treatment of postnatal illness requiring hospitalisation in NSW. Specialist mother and baby psychiatric units should be an essential part of our health system. Unfortunately there is only one such unit in the entire state. Clearly, a situation that desperately has to change.
Ladies what is it like in the UK? Do you have the support? How do you go about instigating change? I have sent letters to the ministers for health and am awaiting their response.
Thanks for listening.
Kind regards, Katherine
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Post by cheshire on Apr 22, 2009 11:42:10 GMT
Hi Katherine, Great to hear you are doing so much better and giving those ministers something really important to think about! I am not sure how many specialist MBUS there are in the UK - but it was reported somewhere that there are seven - basically not enough! Here is a petition we submitted recently : petitions.pm.gov.uk/Post-Natal/I suppose we got the kind of response expected from a Minister, but we're going to stay on the case!! Hopefulxxx
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Post by elisavoula on Oct 8, 2009 9:39:09 GMT
Hello ladies!
It's been quite some time since I hopped on here. Its nice to be able to find you all again and share th memorie and experiences.
Let me update you...
My second daughter, Eliana, is now 15months old, growing ever so nicely and am finding time spent with her is very precious indeed. She is very charismatic and loving. I love her so much. She was recently in the children's hospital with a viral infection and trouble breathing but thankfully is now home but still recovering from a chest infection. See how you worry when they are sick. It brings back lots of memories of Elisavoula and the memories. I felt a lot of anxiety in the hospital beng it was the same one Elisavoula was in. I experienced very strong flashbacks to Elisavoula's days but..I made it through and I am ok. I like that the hospital has a special meaning for me...it was like my two daughters were together. Something that pains me is that Eliana will never get to play with her big sis, but as a consolation (if there is one) she has Elisavoula as her guardian angel above.
As for my general mental state I still have my anxieties about parenthood. The medication is a great help. I am finding however that I have very severe pms which I hope to address with my pdoc soon.
That is all for now. I hope life is treating you all better and that you find a bit of love in each and every day.
I shall endeavour to write more often.
Love Katherine
P.S. We are still trying to get more mother-baby units set up.
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Post by winegirl on Oct 8, 2009 15:49:33 GMT
Hi Elisavoula
Welcome back x
I am not surprised you have been suffering your anxieties having had to go back to the hospital with your little one! It would have been the same for any mother in your position I think! So glad she is back home and doing ok now. I sometimes wonder if the worry that comes with parenthood ever stops...
Glad you are finding the meds help! Yes, many ladies who have suffered PNI have indicated suffering PMS severely afterwards, to my knowledge there are meds you can take on the run up to that time of the month to ease things for you, but I assume that is something you will be discussing wih your doctor.
Thank you for coming back with an update, and fantastic that you are still pressing for more mother baby units! WE are very fortunate that we have one here in Nottingham, and I have seen what a much needed service it is. If we can help in anyway with your campaign, just ask, we would be happy to help x
Take Care
WG xx
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Post by monica on Oct 8, 2009 20:32:31 GMT
Dear Katherine
it's wonderful to hear from you and that you and Eliana are doing so well. It sounds as if you are coming on in leaps and bounds.
It's common for PNI to turn in PMS- I'd never really suffered from it until I got PNI. I was advised vitb/evening primrose supplememts, but in time it should lessen. I hope you get some help.
It must have been so scary being in hospital withEliana - glad she is on the mend. It must have evoked sad memories for you. She will always have that special place in your heart.
Do keep in touch when you can.
All the best
Monica
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Post by elisavoula on Oct 9, 2009 9:33:08 GMT
Hi winegirl and monica!
Thanks so much for your replies. Yes I am curious about this severe pms. Methinks I might have PMDD as I even get to the stage of severe suicidal thoughts and images and it really scares me. Bizarre that all of a sudden I get my period and it all goes away and I am mellow and peaceful. The mood shift is incredible. I am already taking fluoxetine, perhaps an increase in it around that time might help relieve the stress.
Luv Katherine
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Post by winegirl on Oct 9, 2009 15:49:18 GMT
Hi Katherine
Yes I have heard that an increse in dose can be made on the week run up to your period including the first couple of days of your period. Worth asking your GP about? Do let us know how you get on and keep in touch xx
Take Care
WG xx
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Post by elisavoula on Aug 11, 2012 12:32:30 GMT
Hello ladies!! It has been a very long time since I have last posted. I found my thread googling "Elisavoula" and am so pleased to find my story still here and alive Great news, my daughter Eliana is now 4 years old and will be starting "big school" next year. How quickly they grow!! She has been asking about Elisavoula and so far have managed to let her know that she is her angel up in Heaven and that God (She!) looks after her whilst she plays with all the other angels. I don't know how to tell her she was her sister being that she so desperately wants one and would be so griefstricken to find out she had one all of a sudden and that she died. I have my beloved photos of Elisavoula in an album and one day would like to show her. I have been meaning to try and update you on my story for a long time. Things just get so hectic! I re-read my story about my pregnancy and Elisavoula and found it was very grounding. I will try and sit down and write you all some more of an update as I am going to hop in bed with Eliana and snuggle up as it is too cold over here. She is such a blessing and a treasure and I really do feel for her that she will so desperately be missing her older sister. Such an affectionate and caring child. I love her so much. I hope you ladies are all doing well. Love Katherine xx
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Post by juppster on Aug 11, 2012 12:56:46 GMT
Lovely to hear from you Katherine, glad things are so positive for you x
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Post by wanagetoverthis on Aug 12, 2012 11:46:32 GMT
Hi Katherine I have just read your story, it has touched me so much xxx I am sooo happy that you are doing so well, you are such an inspiration to others who go through what you have. I think Eliana will be so happy to know she has a Sister. She may not be here in body but in spirit she is and I imagine Eliana will look onto her for guidance and comfort throughout her own life and journey. I thought the balloon idea was fantastic, maybe you could all do that? Much love to you, please let us know how you are getting on Love Nat xxx
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Post by elisavoula on Aug 12, 2012 12:32:50 GMT
Hi Nat and Zuppster!
She knows Elisavoula is "her" angel and loves her very much. We went to the cemetery this year for Elisavoula's 8th birthday. She asked a lot of questions and a few days later said "i wish I were an angel too so I can play with the other angels!" then she asked me to repeat what she said. It was quite emotional. We take Elisavoula flowers and light candles for her and whoever we wants ot bless/say prayers for in the church just nearby where she is buried. Eliana asked me what the tombstone read and could she was understanding that she was related as it was her surname too but was very upset because Elizabeth shares the same name with her 2 other younger cousins. Eliana kept asking "I love Elisavoula so much but why can't I see her?". Such a tough thing for a little one. She is pleased though that God looks after her for us and she has company. We have been meaning to place a small oil lantern on her tombstone for us to light as it brings us a lot of peace, but haven't found the right one. My mum took my most beloved aunty to visit Elisavoula today. It was such a really touching gesture and means a lot to me. The balloon idea is nice, will keep it in mind. I think even I will ask Eliana what she would like to do for her as she has all sorts of ideas.
As for how I am going in general, since my last hospitalisation in Jan 2005 with puerperal psychosis, things have finally settled about 6 months ago once Eliana started preschool. I am finally managing time better and have a routine in place. Just all I need to do now is find some quality me time as I devote most of my time to my beloved Eliana...and my hubby!
I hope you are all travelling well and happy in life. Thanks for your ongoing support.
Katherine xxoo
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Post by Hopeful on Aug 12, 2012 14:18:37 GMT
Dear Katherine,
It's lovely to hear that things are going well for you.
Hopefulxx
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Post by wanagetoverthis on Aug 12, 2012 17:15:34 GMT
Ah all those thins sound wonderful Katherine, you are keeping her memory alive and it sounds like Eliana feels very close to Elisavoula already, I am sure that bond will only get stronger as she grows Lotalove Nat xxx
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Post by monica on Aug 19, 2012 17:55:55 GMT
Hello wonderful to hear from you and that things are going so well. Eliana sounds like such a wonderful, bright little girl. I think it's wonderful she knows about her beautiful big sister.
Love
Monica
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Post by elisavoula on Jun 17, 2016 13:07:50 GMT
Hi everyone! I really miss writing to you all. I remembered that googling Elisavoula's name would reunite me with you all again (almost 4 years since my last post)! Seeking some company and a place to share my experience. Hoping this forum is still active. Needing somewhere to talk as it's coming up to another anniversary in a few weeks and I 'm suffering from another episode of depression and severe anxiety the past 4 months now. I hope you've been well and life is treating you ok. God bless and hope to get a reply. Love Katherine xx
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