Kitty
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struggling
Posts: 80
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Post by Kitty on May 20, 2010 12:19:40 GMT
i do not need this today........... i do not need this today......... i do not need this today.......... i do not need this today.......... i do not need this today.......... i do not need this today.......... i do not need this today.......... i do not need this today..........
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Post by monica on May 20, 2010 12:24:51 GMT
oh sweetheart - what' s wrong? You sound bad - if your dr is crap as are the mental health team get yourself down to A&E like Caterina suggested. You need help.
Big hugs to you - do let us know how your'e doing?
Love
Monica
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Kitty
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struggling
Posts: 80
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Post by Kitty on May 20, 2010 13:47:44 GMT
the thought of going hospital makes me feel worse. im being sick with migraine and stress today. i cant fully remember yesterday, and what makes it worse my phone will only save up to twenty sent messages the thought of going into hospital stresses me out, to the point where i think i'll pass out. what will i do when i get there, i'll be mute! i wont know what to say and repeating myself will make me worse i dont know what to do...
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Kitty
Full member
struggling
Posts: 80
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Post by Kitty on May 20, 2010 20:34:20 GMT
my eyes keep going crossed lately, im noticing it more last night and today, i know im going cross eyed im sure of it. still i cant remember much about the past few days its like theres a block there, maybe its the migraine telling me to rest but i cant. ive tried everything to calm down. i know louis ran me a bath last night after me not speaking to him most of the day why i cant remember, but i know it all got to me, there were candles in there everything and it just wound me up. probably being hormonal there, as he didnt ask lol but i sat in the bathroom on the loo and cried. i said if i get in the bath id be out in a bag. i know that. i'll have to have another think and pop back on when ive had some painkillers, because sleeping is out of the options, i just cant sleep and its not just a niggle x
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Kitty
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struggling
Posts: 80
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Post by Kitty on May 22, 2010 16:09:33 GMT
feeling alot calmer today, woke up and started cleaning, so maybe thats the reason! today has been a better day. hope i get enough time to sit and chat with louis about remembering whats gone on
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Post by monica on May 22, 2010 17:16:09 GMT
Hi
So pleased you feel bit better today - you really had me worried. I can't believe the so called health care professionals have left you high and dry accusing you of fakign amongst other things. it's dispicable. You are really unwell adn need support.
What's your local maternity unit like? You wrote you hate going into hospital - perhaps phoning somebody up there and explaining how you are. If not have you tried the Samaritans or nhs direct. They are usually very sympathetic and maigh tbe able to guide you in the right direction. Perhaps after the talk with Louis he could do it? Because they cant' leave you alone like this.
Do try to chat to Louis today - it's important to keep him in the loop so he have an understanding of what you're going through and can be there foryou.
Hope you enjoy the rest of the day
Love
Monica
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Kitty
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struggling
Posts: 80
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Post by Kitty on May 22, 2010 19:18:44 GMT
im funny on the phones too, if i get interrupted i panic, which alot of the time the person on the other end is impatient and will do.. and i get louis to do it and he f**ks it up, says the wrong thing, i get wound up then dont get the right treatment, if at all... the last time i spoke to the docs was yesterday when they wouldnt listen to me that i couldnt get out the house, and the lady said she'd call me back, and hasnt.
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Post by gizmoracer on May 22, 2010 19:23:40 GMT
I'm terrible when it comes to phones too, even when it's people I know. Just to phone and make an appointment I have to psyc myself up for days and a few months back I wanted to ask Winegirl about something but I had to text her coz I just couldn't pick up the phone. I also get the shakes when I tallk to people even my own Mum, drives me loopy.
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Kitty
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struggling
Posts: 80
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Post by Kitty on May 22, 2010 19:32:35 GMT
i still have never rang winegirl. even close friends i havent rang in a long long time. my mum and sister and louis im fine ringing, but anyone else, i cant.
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Post by gizmoracer on May 22, 2010 19:35:55 GMT
Same here, I can call hubby, my parents and Emma (one of our ex email supporters) and that is it. Anyone else I come out in a sweat and can only occasionally manage after several attempts. I even panic when the phone rings or the door goes. Sounds terrible doesn't it, but is so common it's unbeliveable.
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Kitty
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struggling
Posts: 80
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Post by Kitty on May 22, 2010 19:42:07 GMT
im glad you understand! so many people talk to me like utter crap because i end up stammering!
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Post by juppster on May 22, 2010 21:03:42 GMT
Me too!! Have a real thing about talking to people on the phone and avoid answering it when I can! You are not alone in this xxx
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Kitty
Full member
struggling
Posts: 80
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Post by Kitty on May 23, 2010 10:18:57 GMT
nearly had an 'episode' this morning thanks to rik. and mothercare, but basically, rik. i have to stop him seeing mollie, theres nothing else i can do.
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Post by caterina on May 23, 2010 13:53:06 GMT
Hi Kitty Just wanted to add that I'm so nervous of using the phone too, I have caller ID, I don't answer if I don't recognise the number and I communicate by email, text as much as I can as I don't like speaking to 'real' people - only since PNI I've been like this, funnily enough I work and I have total strangers in my classes every week and that doesn't bother me at all! Plus I hate it when the doorbell goes, even if it's just the postie, I get all nervous, it's def not just you hun.
I've been following your story on FB, I agree you need to something about that ex, he's no good. Have you sought legal advice? I know it's scarey and feels impossible to go through but for your mental health I think you need to do something. Big hugs to you hun and remember if you need help we're all here xx
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Kitty
Full member
struggling
Posts: 80
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Post by Kitty on May 23, 2010 19:03:03 GMT
thats another thing i keep putting off, going to CAB or sorting out a solicitor. i walk past the bloody CAB whenever i go into town!! i just put it off, im just afraid that the outcome that we need may not happen. i say ohh we dont have enough things to occupy mollie, and ask to go home or something. im really really scared about court battles or losing. i know i have this lickle baby inside me but if i dont have mollie i cant live. rik is a very very clever man, he can manipulate anybody.
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