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Post by Bookwormprincess on Sept 21, 2009 13:11:39 GMT
So as the title suggests at the end of next month, hubbie and I will be visiting an MBU with my support worker, even though we're not even pregnant yet.
It was suggested to us that we might like to see what one is like in advance in case I do need to be hospitilised again and I have made it very clear I am NOT going back on a general pysche ward ever again. So it would have to be the MBU, which unfortunately is 1 1/2 hrs away from home, so not very practical.
I am a bit nervous about going and feel a bit silly since we're not even pregnant, even though we are trying. I'm scared of going back into that kind of setting in case it brings back bad memories from the PP but my care team tell me MBUs are so different from general psyche wards so maybe it will be ok.
I just really hope and pray I don't have to stay in one after any more babies.
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Emma
Email Support Volunteer
PP for 7 months after my daughter was born. She is now 4 & being her Mum is my full time passion.
Posts: 159
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Post by Emma on Sept 21, 2009 15:45:00 GMT
Which MBU are you going to be visiting. I was in Commbe Wood MBU in Park Royal for six weeks and happy to tell you about it if that would perhaps help prepare you for your visit. We are hoping for No. 2 but am still so anxious about PP returning we are not at the planning stage or even the trying stage just yet! Would be good to chat about how you're coping. Much love, e x
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Nov 3, 2009 13:55:14 GMT
Well, last Thursday, we visited Bethlem Royal Hospital Mother and Baby Unit. We couldn't get a babysitter so had to take my son who was not very happy, and was crying the last hour of the journey and when we arrived. My husband missed the inital tour trying to calm him down in the grounds.
I guess that it is a really nice unit, but to me the place just felt really eerie. It was soooo quiet, and I am now used to constant noise when I am at home with a toddler so it just felt wrong. My care worker said she found the quiet atmosphere calming but to me it just creeped me out. The staff were lovely and very helpful answering our questions, but all I could think about was how I never want to visit this place again.
Seeing the Mum's looking so down and despondent and out of it, just brought back loads of bad memories. My stomach was churning the whole time I was there.
I was encouraged that the ward manager said they are very confident of treatment and getting women home when a Mum comes in with a case of PP since it is the easiest to treat, surprisingly. The average length of stay for a woman with PP is 6-8 weeks, which seems a long time to me, but the latter part is spent with days and nights at home. 75% of women in the unit will have PP and 25% PND.
One good thing is that visiting hours are open from 9am to 9pm which is great and for 3 nights a week the partner's can stay over. I was surprised to hear that.
The ward manager offered us an appointment with their consultant pyshciatrist to talk about preventative measures, who is based in Kings Hospital. But we declined since I have had a consultation with Dr Ian Jones I think it would be overkill and I don't think we'd learn anything new.
It is quite a large unit with beds for 12 women and babies, and as a result they have some specialist services not available at other units.
I am glad to have gone because if the worst happens then it's one less thing to worry about knowing where I will be going, but I just hope I never have to see that place again. It felt so weird having a tour while well - it reminded me of when you have a tour of the birthing units so you can decide where to give birth, and yet if I become ill I won't be able to choose where I go.
On a positive note, it would be so much better than being on a general pysche ward, even if it is a long way from home.
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Post by winegirl on Nov 3, 2009 14:06:28 GMT
Hi Hun
Yeah I found that MBU was really quiet too.. I expected lots of screming from babies but they were all really good! It is eerie, but like you say, it is FAR better than a general psychy ward.
Some times the ladies are not always as dispondent as they appear, I found that when I got talking to some of them they were wuite chatty and talking positively about their recovery.
I hope you do not have to go down tihis path, but I guess if you do at least you know what to expect and know you will be getting the best care??
WG xx
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naomi
Senior Member
Made it through the long recovery from PP!
Posts: 216
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Post by naomi on Nov 10, 2009 17:50:38 GMT
Hey bwp
A really brave step to go and see the MBU - well done! It's totally understandable that you were facing difficult memories and feeling pretty churned up - each time we revisit parts of our PP experience we do get stronger & more able to face the future but it's hard.
Newborns are often so quiet in the daytime compared with toddlers! It's funny how you get used to a certain degree of noise, like you say, with an inquisitive older child around. Hopefully if you do need to be treated in the MBU the quiet will be a good thing, enabling you to rest and recuperate.
I keep very much hoping that you will be added to my growing list of people who I know who had PP first time and went on to have a symptom-free second pregnancy and birth! The lady I met at the conference said she was really glad she had a small gap between her two children, as it helped her not to waver over the decision too much. She was really glad personally to move past the "what if..." into experiencing a second pregnancy with really good monitoring and support.
Lots of love Naomi
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vicky
Full member
Posts: 47
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Post by vicky on Dec 7, 2009 20:40:13 GMT
Congrats on taking the step to look round the unit I had a really hard time getting my local authority to pay for an appointment with a specialist and have a tour. am due to visit in may the one in Birmingham... we will see what they say and how we feel but am amazed how broody i still am considering the horrendous time I had. Will keep you posted but well done you was pleased to hear the visiting hours are so open and like you don't want to go into a general psyche ward again it is so unhealthy to be seperated from the baby
take care x
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Dec 7, 2009 22:12:43 GMT
Thanks Vicky. How awful that you had to struggle to get an appointment - makes me realise that the team looking after me must be pretty good. Hope your visit in May goes well - do tell us all about it.
It's funny how you say you feel really broody - I went through that stage before and while we were trying but now I'm actually pregnant all my broody feelings have gone, so strange. I think it's my underlying anxiety that has done that and I'm hoping as the time approaches for baby to arrive and when I feel baby move inside those natural feelings will come back.
Naomi, I want to be part of your list too! It's a good point that your friend made about having a small gap helping to not waver over the decision - I think if it hadn't happened so quickly our minds would have been going back and forth between should we wait or not wait to have another one. It's good now to be out of our hands, not that it makes me any less nervous.
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Post by winegirl on Dec 8, 2009 19:41:21 GMT
Hey Vicky,
I have heard some good things about Birmingham's MBU. I hope your visit there goes ok - let us know how you get on??
Look after yourself
WG xx
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Post by dancingqueen on May 15, 2010 15:38:22 GMT
Hi bookworm princess,
I'm new here and although the post is old I am guessing you haven't had your baby yet as you said you were due in June 2010... Just wanted to give an insider's perspective on the Bethlem MBU. Here's hoping you will never need to go there but if the worst happens and you are offered a place here, then I recommend you grab it with both hands! I am a bit wary of going into my full story as yet but I was extremely ill with PP. Let's just say that after weeks of trying to manage me at home with the support of a crisis team, and a few more weeks after that being moved around various general psychiatric wards without my baby and being tried on various medication regimes, my mental health continued to deteriorate to the point where I was placed under section because I tried to escape the ward... In my defence I truly believed that I was in some kind of neonazi concentration camp where all of us patients were being murdered one by one, and that I was destined to be next... yup, I was pretty ill! And so to the Bethlem ( a shame I had to reach that point before it was considered worthwhile for the local NHS trust to fund a place for me at an MBU but that's another story)... I know what you mean about it being almost eerily quiet but to be honest I think that is a sign of your current good mental health! When you start to find the Bethlem's calmness and quietness frustrating, as I eventually did too, it probably means you are well enough to go home... In the beginning when I was admitted there, it was truly a breath of fresh air. It is quiet and serene, you can hear the birds singing and spend time outside in their beautiful grounds. The decor, cleanliness and general facilities are outstanding compared to your average psychiatric ward... After weeks in the chaos, noise and confusion of a general psych ward, where I believed myself to be already dead but doomed to wander the earth through various circles of hell, on arrival at the Bethlem I actually believed myself to now be in heaven and the nurses to be angels instead of evil tormenting spirits. That probably says a lot. I made a slow but steady recovery at the Bethlem, whereas up until that point my family and friends later told me they had feared for my ever regaining my sanity. I feel like that place truly saved my life. The nurses there were reassuring, patient, kind and encouraging and really took the time to ensure that the little things were taken care of, and that life was made as normal as possible in this really abnomal social situation. This even extended to washing and blowdrying my hair for me, painting my nails etc. (in sharp contrast to the general ward, where I was allowed to go around with matted hair, food on my face, and wearing my underwear on top of my trousers like a superhero... it's funny now but it wasn't then!) I was soon well enough to be able to have my baby there with me, although I could not take care of him myself at first. The nurses were amazing, and allowed me to dip in and out of his care as much or little as I was able, although initially I was not allowed to look after him at night and they kept him for me in the nursery. I was secretly glad even though I complained at the time because I was still exhausted and overwhelmed by everything and I really needed uninterrupted rest at night. As I got better, I started to make friends with others in the unit and I still have 2 really great friends who I keep in contact with from that time - we live quite far from each other as the Bethlem is a tertiary unit, but we still telephone and meet up on our children's birthdays, and sometimes for an odd girlie night out! I feel like they are the only people who can really understand what I have been through and the challenges I continue to face, despite family and friends trying hard to be supportive, so I am really glad to have them in my life... They have both now gone on to have another child (one of them had twins!) and have been completely fine this time around. There were also lots of activities to get involved in as you wanted - there is a swimming pool where you can go on your own, or once a week there is a mum and baby swim session, I also did dance therapy, baby massage, patchworking, cookery and art. The Bethlem are really good at listening to what you want to do and trying to facilitate this if possible - I wanted to learn how to do batiks so the guy at the art class got the materials together and taught me for example. Also they have a DVD player and one of the other girl's husbands used to go out and rent movies for us to watch together in the evenings. I was also allowed out on pass for brief periods of time as I got better - to go clothes shopping with a friend, go out for dinner with friends who had travelled from Scotland to see me, go to a movie with my husband, take the baby out for a picnic in the local park etc. All this is making it sound like I stayed there forever, I didn't at all! Having been unwell for around a month before admission to the Bethlem, I then stayed there for about another 8-10 weeks, can't remember exactly. But I have a lot of fond memories of my time there - one day we made nonalcoholic cocktails and sat around in the little garden chatting in the sun and playing with our babies, another time me and another of the girls found out it was another patient's birhday and we asked them to open up the cookery place for us to go and make her a chocolate cake... it certainly wasn't all bad although nothing is the same as being in your own home. OK, I seem to have written rather a lot, oops! Still, I guess it is helpful to know the kind of thing you might expect at the Bethlem and honestly I think I owe the recovery of my sanity to that place. So as I said, if the worst happens I don't think you could be in better hands.
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Post by dancingqueen on May 15, 2010 15:43:41 GMT
I also meant to say, please message me if you want to chat further or leave a message for me on this thread, you are in Kent right?
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Post by caterina on May 16, 2010 0:05:13 GMT
Hiya I've just noticed this post too bookworm, I've never been to an MBU so I have no experience of it, but (although obviously I hope you never have to go there) it seems like a good unit that would help. xx
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Post by winegirl on May 25, 2010 19:50:31 GMT
I work on the one in Nottingham sometimes - and we are fortunate as we have the best perinatal mental health team in the country (or so they say)... but it is a fantastic ward and nothing like all the other general psychiatric wards, in my opinion if it came to that, then it certainly would not be a bad experience.
Thinking of you
WG x
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Jun 21, 2011 23:25:49 GMT
Hi, I've just been going over old threads and seen that there were a few replies I hadn't read because Samuel arrived 3 weeks early! I never needed the MBU because mercifully I remained well with preventative medication, although Samuel was critically ill and had to have life saving surgery at 2 days old. A whole other story. A year later, and we are both very well. The difference between being a Mum with PP and a Mum who is well is like night and day. Just feels amazing to have been given a second chance.
DancingQueen, I was so encouraged by your reply. It was amazing to read such a positive experience and it warmed my heart. I also cannot believe that you had such similar delusions to me whilst ill. I too believed that I was in hell and having to traverse the different circles of hell. Believe me there were definite moments that I wished I could have tried to escape when I was on the general psyche ward.
Yes I am in Kent and would love to meet up if you felt it was something you would like too. It's wonderful you have friends from your time at the Bethlam. I wish I had met others going through similar at the time I was ill. I only found this forum when I'd recovered 18 months later. Anyway, I really hope you get this reply a year later! Hope to get in touch.
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Post by juppster on Jun 22, 2011 19:25:27 GMT
So great to hear such a positive story mate...gives me much hope with trying for our 2nd baby 5 years after the first! Keep well xx
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Jun 24, 2011 22:37:40 GMT
Juppster, glad to be able to give you hope. I have promised I will write more about my story when I've got a few other projects out the way. Having a detailed care plan and advance directive goes along way to help you be well second time round or nip things in the bud if signs do return. I began discussions with my doctors before I even conceived - have you thought about doing that while you are still trying? Good to have everything in place so when those two pink lines appear you feel supported from day 1. All the best with trying. X
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