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Post by Hopeful on Jan 28, 2011 22:01:40 GMT
Hey Kat, I understand - although it says I joined in 2010, I originally started here at the end of 2004, and soon after became a moderator, despite not reaching recovery. I can honestly say that all of the long term staff here have had a stint more or less on their own - Veritee, myself, BAM, Monica, Winegirl, Caz, Chica etc...I promise it just seems to be it works E-mail support is just something I do behind the scenes but it does take time and because these ladies are usually non forum users, then I worry that I or one of the other volunteers might be the only support they have. But I truly understand where you are coming from and I will try to get on more - I suppose the good news with recovery is you get better and busier, but I do check in here almost every day and when I can in addition. I can offer e-mail support if you like. I think it's great you say what you think as it is so helpful to us a staff team in terms of keeping the service going the best we can XXXXXX
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Post by winegirl on Jan 29, 2011 12:15:15 GMT
The point of PNI ORG UK, is a mutual support forum. It has never been about staff supporting members, our moderators are here to do just that. Kepp check on the boards.
As a mutual support forum it is hit and miss as to who logs on and when, but we encourage all members to mutually support each other. This is how it has always worked.
It has been a difficult 12 months for many of us. I personally used to be on here for about 2 hours every day until my commitments changed. And we identified the need for two more moderators just before Christmas, hence the addition of Juppster and Andrea.
However, I will reitate that this is a mutual support forum, and staff know to check in on new posts that have been unanswered, though diaries are often left for people to use as they please.
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Post by winegirl on Jan 29, 2011 12:19:49 GMT
As for Veritee replying to you, Veritee and her husband are bothe very unwell and have been for some time. Veritee is no longer able to support here, however she keeps this site running along with accounts, web things and financialy inputting herself. She is my hero, always will be. We have met and talked many times and I can assure that without her, many women would never have had such a great tool and experioence in their recovery
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Post by Weeble on Jan 29, 2011 13:20:56 GMT
Well girls, I am sorry that you heard what I said in such a way. Hopeful asked for input and I gave it. I had hope it would be seen for what is was which was a genuine attempt to try and explain how I feel. Firstly wantogetoverthis I am grateful I was there for you, thank you. But I am sorry that you think I expect them to read every post, that is not what I am saying, I was trying to say that for me who is struggling to recover it feels excluding and lonely to have a locked part of the site which is also the busiest part of the site where members go. In addition I was trying to comment on the fact that for me and maybe no one else the recovered people can actually make a huge difference by providing me with some belief I cam do it.
I know I am oversensitive and ill but some of the things that are written in this stream are the first time I have heard these things after a year, and seem to be different to what is written in other parts of the site.
Wine girl, I feel like you feel like I expect something unreasonable, all I said was I felt lonely, excluded and not past of this clique that was behind the closed area and it upset me. You said when you were ill and after veritee was there for you and is your hero. Can you imagine how it would have felt if you had not had her and felt like I do totally alone and I have no hope of ever recovering.
For the past year I have totally brought into and believed in the ethos of verities vision, and all I tried to do was comment on what I saw. Over the past year I have done my absolute best to fulfil the role of a member and really thought about how to help other people too. These things you talk about verities illness etc, I did not know, how could I, there are no posts or anything explaining it.
I am really sorry that I said what i said, it was said with the best of intent and I am so lonely and desperate that I just wanted someone to talk to me who understood and had got back to work.
I am sitting here bauling my eyes out because I am so desperate, so sad and so lonely and I have ruined this place even when no one posts for myself. Once again I am sorry for saying what it felt like and I wish you all the best of luck with you lives, recovery and locked areas.
Thank you for the last year
Kat
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Post by wanagetoverthis on Jan 29, 2011 14:00:20 GMT
Kat
Everyone is here for you, don't get upset pls xxx
I think you're just going through an immensely difficult time at the moment and you're feeling like you're alone when you really are not.
Butterfly and fsg for one, are always there for you on your diary, you've said yourself how close you are to them. I'm back in work and have talked to you about that, I'm sure if you PM'd any of the girls, including staff, they'd get back to you, Hopeful has offered you email support, we all care and are here as much as we can be xxx
The staff are past the illness and recovered which is great to hear, but maybe just in knowing that alone, it can be enough motivation for us to know we can get there?
My personal belief is that if we have someone else in a similar situation to us to lean on in the tough times and and laugh with in the good times, then we'll all get better... and I know you have that in some of the girls here.
Pls don't be upset, nobody is against you... we just don't want you to feel alone but to know that the forum is for public to share... I wasn't saying moderators should read every post hun, I meant they physically couldn't see everything as it would be too much, so they will naturally miss posts and find it hard to follow people's diaries etc.
Pls don't run away, this is just a difficult time and I know you want to feel supported, and you are, why don't you take up Hopeful's offer of email support as then you can talk to her away from the forum too?
Lotsalove N xxx
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Post by juppster on Jan 29, 2011 14:18:31 GMT
Hey lovely lady, im sorry this whole thing seems to have gotten out of hand and i can totally see where you are coming from. Please please please don't be upset, none of this is personal to you, as you said this site has been a bit of a lifesaver for you over the last year, and for me too! and without this site i would never have come to meet such a lovely, warm, empathetic and intelligent lady as you. I know you are in a really bad place at the moment honey and i wish i could help you more but please don't isolate yourself away from here, the girls on here love you and value your input more than you could know xx
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Jan 29, 2011 14:58:45 GMT
Hi Kat, I'm sorry you feel the way you do at the moment. We have all been in that place of loneliness and desperation. I'd like the chance to get to know you now that I'm slowly able to spend a tiny time on here again. Like has been said above, please know you are not alone and can find support here like you have done these past 18months. You haven't ruined this place at all, misunderstandings happen often especially via this medium. It's so hard to interpret the tone in which things were written sometimes.
I think all the above posts were just meant to reassure you that the volunteers on this site do their best to between them make sure everyone eventually has posts answered, apart from perhaps in diaries where it's a place for a personal record and if people would like to comment they can. I've never noticed how busy the mods section is but it I guess it makes sense that it is busy. I imagine there's a lot of admin and work that goes on behind the scenes as well as supporting each other (they need to do this in order to be fit to support the forum users and maybe run past other mods a response before they make it - this is just speculation by the way, Just what I'd imagine the area is needed for). I've been on a few forums over the years, two others similar for illnesses. But this is the only forum I've come across where past ill users and moderators contribute so much in a supportive role. I've had to wait for a post to be answered (sometimes anxiously like you have) but even if it takes days someone usually has replied whether it's a mod or not and that's what makes this forum different. Like yourself, everyone wants to be there for each other and that's a fantastic ethos.
The last 12 months have been quieter perhaps because a lot of the recovered users have had big life events going on. I know at least 3 of us including myself who have had second children in that time so have been dealing with preventing PP or PND returning as well as the demands of having two children. WG has amazingly been studying and training full time as well as being a mum, wife and supporting admin and email here etc. I don't know about others having been away myself. So it sounds like those recovered people left and mods on here have been stretched. However, like someone said, you can always pm staff to get a response in a quiet period or it sounds a great idea to take up the offer of email support.
I truly wish I'd been able to have used this place in the deepest darkest times of PP, but I was only able to get back online once I'd recovered and come off meds, but even then I've found it a wonderful place to work through remaining issues, find hope and encouragement about having a second child and even a great place when I was trying to lose weight. The thing with forums is, whichever one you're on, you always take the risk of not being answered or having a response slower than you needed it. It even happens in real life with texts and emails I find. But it is particularly hard when you're ill and that's why I think what you've said will be taken to heart and people have tried to make you feel better about things.
I do hope you stay here and we can one day share your story of recovery, because that will happen. I truly believe that. Hugs x This is just an idea but have you thought about connecting with forum users on facebook? There used to be a thread somewhere on the site with people's facebook identitys on. Pm me if you'd like mine. That's how I feel I've stayed in touch with people's lives even though I've not been on the forum and it was a godsend for me when my newborn was critically ill and I needed support but couldn't come on the forum. Think I'm hooked up with about 10 people on facebook through the forum who I've never met except online. I'm useless at remembering who is which username though! I see Vee a lot on there.
Please stay with us. Keep going, things will get better. X
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Post by Weeble on Jan 31, 2011 9:12:26 GMT
Thank you girls. Won't deny still feel like this, but decided I would try and rebuild some bridges. Going to give it a go, hope people will continue to post to me. I can not explain why I feel so bad on open forum as it's involves my weird circular world, but please believe me when I say I am struggling with a desperately difficult conflict.
Thanks for your posts girls and thank you juppster and hopeful for reaching out to me, you stopped me feeling totally alone. Wine girl I hope you will forgive me, I should have just said I really miss you and giz. I totally understand and support the decisions you made. It really upset me when you came back but I felt I could not talk to you anymore, this hit at the same time as my weird circular world got to difficult and I could not say what was wrong on here as I was worried about the impact of that on others.
Hopeful, thank you for your offer, I know how busy you are and after all this thread started with you needed help, I didn't want to burden you further.
Wantogetoverthis and bookworm princess thank you for your lovely posts, I wish I could explain to you more, but I just have the most amazingly complex wierd circular world. If I recover these worlds could be handled together but at the moment the implications are beyond my capability to manage.
Kat
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Post by Bookwormprincess on Jan 31, 2011 9:29:14 GMT
Hi Kat, thanks for posting again. So glad you decided to stay with us.
Sorry that you're finding it hard to explain what's going on for you but if you ever do find the words don't worry how it'll effect others because this after all is for mutual support and we all want to help each other. If you don't want to post publicly how about emailing or sending a pm?
And I just want to give you hope that it's not "if" you get better but "when". It will happen with treatment, support and time. It can take months or years but you will come out the other end. Be kind to yourself just as if it were a friend going through your struggles with the same illness X
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Post by Hopeful on Jan 31, 2011 11:26:48 GMT
Hi Kat, So good to see you back xx You are not a burden at all - and also meant to add that we have successfully recruited two more e-mail volunteers Love to all, Hopefulx
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Post by nicola1712 on Jan 31, 2011 11:43:11 GMT
Hi Hopeful
I would love to be able to help in any way on here - this website has been a lifesaver for me too and although I haven't been on here for a while now I feel that is because I am coping much better with things lately partly due to the support and friends I have made on here.
So would love to be considered an email support vol if you still need people?
Nicola x
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Post by Hopeful on Jan 31, 2011 12:42:05 GMT
Make that 3! Thanks Nicola, will drop you al ine xxx
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Post by monica on Jan 31, 2011 12:56:26 GMT
Hi
Kat- no one is offended by what you wrote - I do understand where you're coming from especially if at the minute you feel you're not getting as much support as would help you. So pleased you've decided to come back - really there are people here for you - maybe not as much as would be useful but that's the nature of the beast (we are volunteers - and often able to come on as much as we would like).
You are such a valued member and offer somuch for others too - it's wonderful you've bonded with many of the other girls.
Hopefully the issue of posts not being replied to as quickly as would be ideal has been adressed and will help in the future.
Monicax
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Post by wanagetoverthis on Jan 31, 2011 19:35:14 GMT
We all love you Kat and I'm sooo happy you came back.
I know you're having a really difficult time at the moment but you'll get there and please know we are all here for you xxx
One day this will all be a distant memory, remember that.
Lotsalove Nat xxxx
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butterfly
Private Board (R) Member
Posts: 1,432
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Post by butterfly on Feb 1, 2011 12:13:01 GMT
Typical me, everything happens around me and I am in ga ga land. Kat we all love you, your a great support for me and others. Its really frustrating when you need help and you can't seem to get it. I am not well at the moment and everything I have read I don't really understand, its all going over me a bit so can't really give an opinion or anything. Love you all because your all helping me I think.
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