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Post by Weeble on Jan 18, 2014 13:04:00 GMT
Go girl
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aura
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Post by aura on Jan 18, 2014 20:25:00 GMT
All right. So today I lay down to sleep with my son. We were lying together and I started falling asleep, and I was just about getting right into REM when the words 'kill him' sounded in my head. I shocked awake and freaked out. Then I dropped off again and this time the word 'drugs' sounded in my head. I don't know if these are more punishment thoughts on my behalf but they scared the crap out of me. I know if I'm aware of them and I'm anxious about going crazy that I'm not, so why do I keep freaking out about it. This is so scary and frustrating. I don't think they were auditory hallucinations because they were in my head (sometimes I'll hear a song while i'm dreaming etc.) but they were so terrifying to me that I compeltely freaked out and burst into tears. I keep trying to face those thoughts, but no matter how much I try, I just can't help freaking out. What if I'm really hearing things? What if I'm going to go mad and hurt my family? Is this still PNI? I hate this. Worst blip ever.
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aura
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Post by aura on Jan 18, 2014 20:27:29 GMT
Just found this online... made me feel a bit better: But that's not to say that hallucinations don't occur with anxiety. They do, and they can. During intense anxiety, your brain is highly active, and that high activity can lead to a lot of unusual issues. For example:
Daydream Sounds – Some people find that something they're thinking about or daydreaming about actually becomes an auditory sound. They may be zoning out to their own thoughts, and then somehow hear someone within their thoughts yell something to them that they are sure they heard out loud.
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Post by monica on Feb 9, 2014 13:37:29 GMT
Hi sorry for late reply. How have things been?
Honestly think your experiences are anxiety linked and not psychotic tendencies or anything similar. Our brains are strangex
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Post by Weeble on Feb 12, 2014 11:58:48 GMT
I had similar experiences and they were not psychotic. I thing they were psychological defence mechanisms. Kat
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aura
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Post by aura on May 11, 2016 9:57:25 GMT
I just wanted to post here to update all those who replied to my posts and to encourage any moms who've been suffering and don't feel like there's light at the end of the tunnel. It's been a few years now since the onset of my PNI, and I'm happy to say that I hardly ever have the dreaded thoughts. I'm feeling functional, happier than I've been in years and happy as a mom too. If you stay determined you will beat this down. There are some days when I have blips, but instead of every hour on the hour, these happen once every six months or so, and I feel generally down but can identify why and that helps me calm myself and combat it better. What helped me heal: - Working on a project (art/writing/whatever you enjoy) that pulls your focus from the darkness - Challenging every dreaded thought - CBT - Exercising (even if it's just going for a walk down the road with a toddler or a baby in a pram and back again) - This forum (a lot of the people around me didn't grasp what I was going through and made it worse, though this wasn't their fault) - Talking myself up in the mirror. Telling myself I'm a good mother, that I'm worthy, that everything will be all right. Really looking myself in the eye. - Meditating (except when I was depersonalized, as this made me feel strange) - Realizing that I'm not alone in the universe, reading spiritual books - Taking time for myself (you could even hire a babysitter) and reading a good book, or playing a game on the PC or watching a favorite show - Cooking - Chocolates Please remember that you are never alone! I hope that someone who's going through a rough time reads this and that it helps. I have been there and there is an end to this!
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Post by monica on May 12, 2016 6:45:32 GMT
Hi I'm going to copy your post and put in the recovery section! It's wonderful to hear from you and makes me so happy to hear you've recovered from this debilitating illness.
Hearing from survivors really does give sufferers hope / as you know when in the midst of PNI it can be hard to believe life will get better. Thanks so much for your advice - it's really useful x
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