steph
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Post by steph on Jul 29, 2013 19:39:22 GMT
Been an ok day today with a few wobbles. Went to a different (lady doctor) this morning who was really nice. Poured it all out to her and she has prescribed me some Pronanol (beta blockers) to help a bit mote with anxiety and am going back in 2 weeks to see how I am doing with possibility if maybe trying pill or IUD to help with hormones or upping Citolapram to 40mg, we shall see. She was really understanding and supportive and will definately go back and see her from now on Had some much needed counselling tonight which has helped my mind gain a little more perspective again, have signed up for long term CBT/counselling to see if addressing some underlying issues helps me to get back to me again. Here's to a good week ahead!!
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Post by monica on Jul 29, 2013 21:02:03 GMT
Really positive post. Finding a dr who listens and cares can make a huge difference to your well being. Stick with her!
Belated Happy 30th birthday! So pleased you had a lovely day. It's normal to reflect on this awful illness when u reach a milestone, but as horrible as te rollercoaster ride can be , you will recover.
Monica
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Post by jessibella on Jul 29, 2013 22:33:02 GMT
So glad you spoke to a supportive Dr xx
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steph
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Post by steph on Aug 1, 2013 8:16:48 GMT
Morning all
Been ok and I think the beta blockers are really helping to ease my anxiety when I need them.
Frustratingly had a mad irrational thought during bath time last night which has been playing on my mind a little. It sounds delusional but still very terrifying! I worried 'what if' I start obsessing or telling/forcing myself to feel turned on when I look at my children??!! The thought alone terrifys me which should be testament in itself that this will never happen! But its these pathetic what if's that drive the anxiety. Please tell me this won't happen! I hate that my mind plays these little tricks on me, constantly making me question myself and my sanity! I KNOW WHO I AM and I am not that petson!! As I said the beta blockers are helping me though and I don't feel as panicky, just trying to let the thought leave again when it presents itself!
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Post by jessibella on Aug 1, 2013 10:40:35 GMT
Remember thoughts are just thoughts not reality. You can't make something true by thinking it or else I'd be a millionaire;-)
Think of it as the pni pushing the boundaries, it's not you it's pni. Let the thoughts wash over you and notice that they do leave. They may come back but they always pass again x
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steph
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Posts: 87
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Post by steph on Aug 1, 2013 11:16:10 GMT
Thank you Jessibella for your reassuring words It's funny how thoughts can seen so trivial when you feel yourself but when you are in the moment they feel so terrifying! I hope you are feeling a little better today, I hope you have sunshine where you are, its lovely down in Hampshire
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Post by jessibella on Aug 1, 2013 22:02:29 GMT
Wow you live nearby. I'm in West Sussex!
Yes lovely weather today and I'm starting to feel lots better thanks x
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Post by monica on Aug 2, 2013 21:14:33 GMT
Hi
They are just thoughts which tend to spiral. You will never act on them! Glad beta blockers kicking in. Have you got anything nice planned for weekend?
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steph
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Posts: 87
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Post by steph on Aug 6, 2013 17:05:11 GMT
Although I felt very frustrated at the start of my counselling/CBT session last night because I expected to feel so much better by now, I did come away feeling like I had a productive session. I feel that I am building a good relationship with my counsellor now and she understands my worries. Although the illness is still very much present, I know it takes time to heal and find yourself again and I am trying my best to rationalise when I can and tell myself that it is my mind playing tricks on me and that these thoughts are tapping in to the worst possible things I can imagine which would be the things I would be most likely never to do/or feel. I am also feeling really close to my hubby right now which is a lovely feeling and don't know where I would be without him, he has been my rock through all of this and helps me rationalise where he can and does not judge me and reassures me of the person I am underneath all this. He helps me with the children every day, he is such an amazing daddy. I'm a very very lucky lady
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Post by monica on Aug 6, 2013 19:42:54 GMT
That's really positive Steph. Really well done. For most ladies recovery iss a slow and difficult process and just by understanding that iss really half te battle. Having such a wonderful man by your sside at such a difficult time will strengthen your relationship ass well ass help your recoveryx
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steph
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Posts: 87
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Post by steph on Aug 9, 2013 18:58:29 GMT
Today has been a good day Started my new job this week which has been going well so far, lots of information to take in but good to get myself into something different, fresh start! Been lovely to have hubby home these past few weeks as well during the holidays, for that little extra support. Have lots planned this weekend with my terrors while hubby working, dog show with nanny tomorrow and swimming and picnic with a friend on Sunday and we're meeting with some relatives tomorrow evening so that will be nice too.
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Post by Weeble on Aug 9, 2013 22:07:36 GMT
Well done, great to hear you are doing so well. Can you explain more about your new job, I would love to hear more!
Kat
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steph
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Posts: 87
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Post by steph on Aug 12, 2013 21:07:20 GMT
Hi Weeble, great to see you back! I have moved jobs internally within my company from HR to Training. Very similar role I guess but new people and challenges, seeing it as a positive move The job I was doing has been taken on full time with a lady I was job sharing with. Luckily the Training role was available part time and I got it thankfully. Had a good weekend all things considered! Thoughts still coming and going with wobbles here and there but coping for now. Had doc app this morning and have decided to go on the pill to see if that helps with my PMS, so we shall see. Won't be able to see if it makes any difference untill next month once it kicks in, will keep you posted. Had my counselling this evening which went well. Picked up on a few things from my past that may have contributed to my insecurities. Lots to think about (ironic I know) but hopefully starting to move in the right direction.
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Post by Weeble on Aug 12, 2013 21:39:55 GMT
wow all sounds positive. counselling helps doesnt it. lovely to ne back
Sent from my GT-I9300 using proboards
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Post by jessibella on Aug 12, 2013 21:59:57 GMT
Hey Steph. So glad work gas been good. It has been a really positive experience for me too.
Those wobbly times just come and go don't they. I realise now we can't stop them happening but we can learn ways to manage them x
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