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Post by kmum on Apr 3, 2014 20:00:38 GMT
Yes I think the men on the other hand are forgotten and sometimes they feel low and frightened for us! Such pressure all round. But you need to be well before are able to become someone elses rock!
Enjoy weekend
K
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Post by quantumrose on Apr 9, 2014 11:05:56 GMT
Had good wknd, so nice to see my friends! I am exhausted though and it's setting my anxiety off big time. Feeling pretty down too. Doesn't help that I had a routine smear test 2 weeks ago and they still dont have the results. It was a massive deal to go in the first place and Im trying not to jump to conclusions but I think theyve lost the results, so I'll have to go back again. Of course theres also the dreaded health anxiety, which is niggling away.... I wish I felt safe x
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Post by quantumrose on Apr 9, 2014 14:40:45 GMT
Today is proving difficult. I cant relax, I'm anxious and I've got alot to do. But I'm low and can't pick myself up. Its hard because I've felt pretty good the last week or so. I also need to talk to my lovely husband. He's down too, unhappy in his job and he's comfort eating. He's gone from being the skinniest man I know to quite a large man over the last few years. He feels awkward about it. I feel like something has to give- but he's not ready to accept that and it's heartbreaking to see him unhappy and unable to talk about it. I'm overwhelmed by a need to help but exhausted and frustrated that I can't see a way forward.
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Post by kmum on Apr 9, 2014 22:17:41 GMT
Hey glad the weekend was a success. Is there any chance someone can babysit for even a few hours to let you and hubby go for dinner, a long walk, go for ice cream, coffee??? Just something different to the norm? Sounds like you need a chat but...a bit if fun too!
I understand your anxiousness re the smear! I feel the same. But my nurse did say it will be about 6 weeks before results. Plus, if it's routine honestly don't be worrying about it. Chances are that it's fine. You probably know that yourself. Smears do def take longer usually than 2 weeks. If abnormal they are usually quicker so fact you haven't heard anything is a positive.
Keep chin up lovely lady
K
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Post by monica on Apr 10, 2014 7:53:11 GMT
Hi
Ur weekend sounded great!! Tiredness is a common trigger for feeling pants . a weekend away is bound to be tiring even if pleasant ultimately. packing travelling doing stuff out of the routine. do take it easy and try and get some rest.
Your poor hubby. Men often struggle with talking about their feelings. Perhaps wait until u feel a bit better before working on ur oh. Maybe start from talking about work what he doesn't like about it and looking into other options for himx
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Post by monica on Apr 13, 2014 13:50:39 GMT
So sorry. I have zero idea what I did to lock ur diary but Veritee very kindly unlocked it. How are you?
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Post by quantumrose on Apr 18, 2014 12:21:11 GMT
Hey Monica, don't worry! How are you? I've just got back from visiting family with the kids. I'm exhausted! Travelling with them is easy as it could be but 3 trains, a ferry and a long walk is hard enough without added extra 'baggage'! Anyway, I'm quite proud of myself. I realised this morning when I woke up with brain fog and felt shaky and knackered that if I did anything today it would be too much. And guess what? I'd organised an easter egg hunt in the woods for some friends. The day after an epic journey. Duh! I think I may have put a few people's backs up but I've stayed at home and my daughter and OH went instead. Babies asleep so Im going to sleep too now. Hard decisions are not my strong point at the moment and I'm a bit sad not to be going but I'm really too tired to care THAT much. Happy easter lovely ladies xxxx
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Post by quantumrose on Apr 18, 2014 13:50:59 GMT
Nearly forgot. Last night I was thinking about how I feel, how supported I feel, my journey of recovery so far. I realised that when I finally admitted to how I feel, I felt massively relieved and one of the reasons for that is that I believed I would be able to find help. I was really shocked and scared by how hard it was to find that help. My doctor prescribed antidepressants with no follow up. My health visitor saw me twice and then said "see you in three months". The meetings we had were really hard. It was a treck to the children's centre and we sat in a pokey room which was full of things my inquisitive baby couldn't play with. I quite often felt she was quoting a training manual. She did her best but I very quickly felt 'cut loose'. I dont want to go back. Im still waiting for an appointment at a woman's charity nearby. There are no groups for women who suffer from PNI in my town that I've found and I've looked pretty hard. This website and forum is my only source of support outside my family and I appreciate it so much! But when I feel better I will seriously consider trying to provide help for women in my town because I don't want anyone to have to go through what I have to find help.
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Post by juppster on Apr 18, 2014 17:49:00 GMT
That's a great and very generous goal to have...totally agree with you about the lack of care and support available locally xx
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Post by monica on Apr 19, 2014 21:01:22 GMT
Hi
Wrote a long reply and it disappeared!
As Juppster said setting up a group would be such a rewarding thing todo. Perhaps talk to ur hv and dr for ideas and help.
U have hit the nail on the head - help for ladies like us is insufficient and often lacking in quality. It's frightening going for help when u need it so much and not getting it. I was in a desperate state - I could not equate the symptoms I had to pni yet it was only when I found this site that several ladies mentioned they had felt the same. Neither my gp nor hv knew about the physical side of pni.
It's one of our charity's main goals to tell people about this terrible illness and to destigmatise it as there still much shame surrounding pnix
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Post by kmum on Apr 19, 2014 22:06:00 GMT
Oh my goodness Quantumrose you could not have said a truer word!!!!
My GP was crap. I think I visited 3 times before I asked them for meds. They never explained post natal depression and in particular were unable to give me reassurance as to whether the physical symptoms were normal! I was prescribed incorrect meds after reacted badly to first lot. Was only when an out if hours doc told me to come off the 2nd ones immediately due to having what I can only describe as the worst day of my life with one big panic attack! Iv seen 3 docs in surgery but none have had any interest in follow ups and feel like I'm rushed back out the door! The best doc I spoke to was another out of hours lady GP who talked to me on phone and suggested that I go for vigorous walk to help with the adrenaline that felt like it was surging through my system!
The hospital let me down as midwife counsellor never to date returned my calls despite leaving messages and they promised she would be in touch that day!
Lifeline said that i didn't sound urgent enough as wasn't suicidal so they said couldn't refer me but was welcome to phone them next time felt that bad! I guess I could have called them but spoke to family instead in the end!
The Surgery said that the NHS won't refer me for counselling when I'm on medication!!! Which is insane! So I have to pay privately myself for this!
The local charity that provide family support and counselling can add me to their list but it takes 8 weeks before get appointment by which time I would have slit my wrists for goodness sake! I felt so bad that thought I'd have to be sectioned!! At no point did anyone tell me that there was further crisis support out there if necessary!
I felt alone until I found this forum. I genuinely can't tell you the relief and part it has played in my getting better! Like yourself, I want to look at starting group in area to offer support to other women who feel this way!!! Also like you, it was once I spotted this forum and other websites that properly described my symptoms that I was able to deal with the shock of it all and seek help. The key is to tell people and ask them for support. In particular, family. I felt such a burden to everyone and being such a stubborn and independent girl I struggled with finally throwing hands up and saying I was in bad shape. But boy am I glad I did....
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Post by quantumrose on Apr 20, 2014 10:07:02 GMT
I feel such an affinity with what you're saying. Its a massive part of recovery to know that how you're feeling is part of the illness, to take the fear out of it as much as possible and try to be kind to oneself. Reassurance is a huge part of all of this and something which healthcare professionals forget all too often. Much love x
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Post by kmum on Apr 20, 2014 22:43:32 GMT
Yep totally! Here's hoping other ladies find this site as early as possible!!!!
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Post by quantumrose on Apr 21, 2014 7:53:54 GMT
Sometimes I feel like a pressure cooker. Sometimes I can't feel at all. Today I've experienced both and it's not even 9am! The trouble with this getting better business, is that I get SO scared about getting worse again. I feel sad that the things that I use to do without a second thought, are too much to cope with still. I'm helping with a local festival and I want to do all the stuff that needs to be done but I am so unreliable-I dont know how I'll be feeling from one day to the next. So I can't say categorically that I'll be able to make that meeting or design that poster. It must seem rubbish to everyone else involved. Maybe I should just duck out. But then I've given in to the PNI. Not sure what's for the best but I can't carry on in this capacity because it's triggering my anxiety big time. How rubbish is that!
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Post by juppster on Apr 21, 2014 16:52:30 GMT
I totally understand that BUT try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Is there someone within that group that you would feel confident confiding in so they know you can't commit to it 100% but will do your best to? I get this too...the commitment feels like it puts more pressure on you, therefore your anxiety levels rise and the negative thoughts start. At the end of the day, if you can't do it, in the big scheme of things and in your life, it really isn't important. If you're not able to cope with it just yet, don't beat yourself up over it, just gently remind yourself you are still recovering and will be able to slowly start to do these things again as you start to feel better x
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