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Post by RaspberryBeret on Jul 28, 2014 21:10:05 GMT
Yes I second what everyone else has been saying about the calm facade. People always say to me how calm and unflustered I am as a mum. One friend even described me as 'bombproof'. Since I have gone public about my pni people are always staggered! We are just not very good at externalising our feelings. Better out than in.
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Post by brach24 on Jul 29, 2014 12:10:16 GMT
So was chatting to a family friend and asked her if she enjoyed being a mum - she's now a granny. She said yes but it was hard as she struggled with grief that shed surpressed and it all came to the surface after the birth. She said that the hormones made it difficult to keep surpressing things and that it was a healthy thing because she dealt with grief that needed addressed. It makes me see this pni in a more positive frame. I'm so anxious this morning and decided not to surpress it. My hubby commented on my twitchyness as did my neighbour both of them reacted like I was really ill - but I don't feel much worse than normal. I think it passed quicker because I wasn't trying to suppress it. I would like to share that I have pni on Facebook incase any of my friends are struggling but not sure how. Any ideas? Im feeling quite low and on edge today and so long for a counselling session or somewhere safe to go and chat and be cared for. July has been such a hard month I'll be glad to see the back of it.
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Post by juppster on Aug 1, 2014 16:12:18 GMT
Hey brach24...I think the way you are going about it is definitely the right thing to do...trying not to suppress your feelings can only be a positive, and if you feel as though the episode passed more quickly then that's a good sign. With regards to putting it on fb, what I tended to do to start with was find pictures with quotes about pni/depression/anxiety etc and post them up and as I gradually got more encouragement and Likes, I became more and more open about it...good luck xx
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Post by Weeble on Aug 2, 2014 20:57:36 GMT
I have been told repeatedly not to suppress my emotions and like you I find letting it hang out helpful :-):-)
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Post by monica on Aug 3, 2014 9:05:36 GMT
How r u doing? Hope the anxiety eased off.
Maybe post the link to this site or other such stuff. Some friends might comment or ask and take it from there ?
Monica
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Post by quantumrose on Aug 3, 2014 17:44:51 GMT
Brach, I think that not suppressing your feelings is sooooo good. Easier said than done I know :-) but....it takes the fear out if it for me, when I manage it. How are you? Xx
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Post by brach24 on Aug 4, 2014 22:27:40 GMT
Been a busy and stressful week helping my mum get ready to move, having an intervention with my aunt about her dementia and visiting family. I've coped ok. I've been twitchy and stuttery lots and not sure if it's hormonal or because I've been stressed or just because I'm not repressing it so much. I feel so detached just now too -think it might be the meds. My cbt starts again this week. I haven't completed the thought diary and am very anxious about her being unhappy about that. I've just not felt strong enough to be reflective safely. I have my review at work this week too. I hope they continue reduced hours but desperately need to be doing more than my usual hours for financial reasons. Will need to wait and see.
Have been checking on here but finding it hardto write. I think a lot of my anxieties are still on a subconscious level.
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Post by monica on Aug 5, 2014 18:37:40 GMT
Lots going on in ur life at the same time - perhaps a bit overwhelming? Just tell cbt person why u cudnt do hw - sometimes u just can't .
Hope the week improves and u get a bit of chill out timex
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Post by brach24 on Aug 6, 2014 4:44:06 GMT
I'm wide awake for no reason... Again. Been every night for last week. Wondering if it's the citalopram increase. Had a horrible moment today when I heard my older girl tell her friend she was worried I'd tell her off about something - she sounded so anxious and it made me realise I do tell her off too much - especially when I'm struggling. I tell her I love her lots no matter what she does and then info and be grumpy with her about the smallest things. I'm really worried she'll be affected by the pni. I've tried so hard to be ok in front of her. She's not heard me stutter or seen me cry but she definitely bears the brunt of my impatience and tiredness. Poor wee thing. She's super extra sensitive these days and I'm really worried it's because of all this and I'm not sure how to help her to toughen up and feel secure again. Will try and go easier on her from now on. Life is definitely overwhelming just now but managed some fun moments today. I'm definitely better than I was. Scared to say it out loud but hoping this is the road out!
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Post by monica on Aug 6, 2014 10:38:29 GMT
Children r very resilient more so than we give them credit for. I always worried about effects of pni on my eldest in particular as all he saw me do for months was cry and say how ill I felt; the baby at the time never saw me smile nor interact positively with him. However I'm pretty confident neither of them have been affected by pni or if they were it was a temporary thing.
If u think ur daughter is quite sensitive maybe have a talk about it with her. Ask her if she feels you are ratty with her . Now is a good time to change these patterns. I try sometimes to take a deep breath and walk away if I feel myself getting would up. Or set urself a target 1/2 day with no shouting and try different techniques to manage the stress.
You're feeling better and with or without pni many people get take out their feelings on kids. No ones perfect. I know myself sometimes I'm quite horrible as life gets too much and I take it out in those nearest and dearest to me.
So pleased ur feeling better - look positively to the futurex
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Post by brach24 on Aug 8, 2014 3:13:08 GMT
Had my work review and going back up to my normal hours and starting to get involved with clients again. Feel glad but scared. Cbt starts tomorrow again. Nervous - think I'm a bit scared by her. Another night awake at 4am and my tummy feels dodgy. Been having really vivid horrible dreams too. Wondering if it's the citalopram.
Got tonnes going on in my family. Having to be very responsible for others. Feels good to be able but also exhausting and lying awake thinking about it all. Trying to be more calm with kids. I don't shout but I walk off in a strop. Did it today again - just for fed up repeating the request to go to bed so told her I was done and walked off. She got herself ready and was really upset by it. I feel bad but it also worked. I want her to know we're not superhuman but I also don't want her fearing that if she does something wrong I'll give up on her. Need to sleep!! My period is late. 3 days. I'm usually clockwork. Haven't had sex since last period so don think it could be anything but worried after watching a documentary where women had periods during pregnancy!! Hope it comes soon so I can stop worrying.
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Post by brach24 on Aug 8, 2014 16:20:29 GMT
And period has just arrived - phew and as always a bit even though it would never be my choice right now! Cbt went well. Def making progress - a bit stuck in my need to have people like me. I wish I could give that up. I don't agree with it but I still do it. Wish I could just stop caring. Feeling tired today. Hope the sleep cycle gets better soon.
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Post by Weeble on Aug 8, 2014 18:44:34 GMT
Cbt sounds like it's productive good news on the period
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Post by brach24 on Aug 8, 2014 23:30:03 GMT
Thanks - yes it does feel helpful now the foundation is laid. She is very insightful just not very warm and fuzzy so it's taken me a while to feel safe to explore some bits. Some of my issues are around dealing with medical professionals. I have a lot of appointments for a physical health issue and have really struggled to engage since the birth. It's very odd picking apart my feelings on relating to medical professionals with a medical professional! She thinks I want them (her!) to mother me. She may be right - uncomfortable moments for sure!! Worth it though if it moves me forward out of this pni. Pretty nervous about work next week already. Found myself looking at cheap holidays today. Even if we won a freebie we couldn't afford the spending money were really struggling just now. Have let my older girl have a friend sleep over tonight - hope they're not up too early!! They're very excited. Nice to have some fun instead of saying no all the time.
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Post by Weeble on Aug 9, 2014 8:38:08 GMT
Maybe you just want someone to care is that bad isn't that a basic human need
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