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Post by sarajay28 on Sept 9, 2014 13:55:45 GMT
Hmmm have you asked your wife why? yes this illness is worse than you can probably imagine :-( It's so tough, for a woman to suffer this illness is unbearable, unfathomable and just down right senseless but for a partner/husband/parent to watch the one they love go through this suffering must be excruciating. Don't give up! You have done more for your wife and children than you could ever believe. You have been amazingly strong, rational and so so supportive! Look after yourself too though x
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Post by AnoniMouse on Sept 10, 2014 10:01:30 GMT
Why? No I haven't, I nearly did but after the recent arguments I decided it would just escalate into another argument. I figure she's trying to make some point. She knew my mum couldn't help before she asked. I am not going to play silly games unless I have to. I'll let this one slide. Thanks for the support all.
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Post by sarajay28 on Sept 10, 2014 12:23:48 GMT
Yeah I know that feeling, that sometimes it's easier to keep quiet! good on you for refusing to play her game, whatever it may be?! X
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Post by AnoniMouse on Sept 11, 2014 6:44:17 GMT
Last night she calmly said she is planning a divorce. Not sure what else to say really. I listened and didn't agree. She also finally told me that since leaving hospital she has had non therapy and the first is a group therapy session on Friday. And she said she wouldn't be coming to out with me on our wedding anniversary in two weeks to our favourite restaurant at the hotel we had our wedding reception. I gave her a sweet card invite the other day. God loves a trier. I keep thinking I'm at the bottom of the barrel and then seem to find a new depth in the barrel. Sigh.
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Post by monica on Sept 11, 2014 8:01:35 GMT
I'm so sorry. You are doing everything you can to make things better/easier. PNI can completely distort your way of thinking as appears to be the case here. Is she still taking meds? Not that that is a miracle cure but it can help rewire the brain and bring some sort of objectivity back. I remember hating my partner when I was ill. In my case it wasn't unfounded as he offered me virtually zero support and kindness but the depth of my fury and hatred towards him wasn't normal . In my head he was the root cause of everything awful in my life . It was only later when I was firmly on that road of recovery I realised that I couldn't blame him for everything and in fact he was not the cause of my illness .
Have hope as things could well improve although it will be a tough journey for you bearing the brunt of ur wife's pain. You have to make sure you look after yourself and of course offload in here x
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Post by AnoniMouse on Sept 12, 2014 9:51:43 GMT
Yeah, still on meds and has a her first post hospital therapy session today. its a group session specifically for post natal depression, sounds good and promising but I've stopped expecting things to improve. Its the best way not be disappointed. Talk about ups and downs. Like a rollercoaster, never stopping, up and down.
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Post by AnoniMouse on Sept 16, 2014 7:35:52 GMT
Well what a rollercoaster. As others have said there are good and bad days with my wife. Her mum left this weekend to get a break so we only had the night nanny. It went ok, my wife was very civil, almost smiled a few times and we actually went to a local family restaurant on Sunday evening. Its a place were children are welcomed. Almost our first venture out as a family. Sunday was a good day. I have abet with the nanny that my wife wont take up the wedding anniversary invite I gave her, she thinks she will. Its only a week away. I hope I lose the bet.
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Post by brach24 on Sept 16, 2014 8:11:49 GMT
You're a great hubby! I hope the good days get more frequent for you both. It's great that you're open and ready to accept any positivity from her - it must take great strength to not be angry, huffy and self-pitying in response. I guess love is great strength. I hope you lose the bet too. Your writing makes me appreciate more all that my hubby has done for me in the last year. Thanks for that.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Post by monica on Sept 16, 2014 12:16:46 GMT
Hi
I completely agree with Brach. You are really wonderful for your wife given that this time as been so awful for you .
I hope she goes out for your anniversary meal. It does sound as if she's making progress . Just remember when faced with a crap day ups and downs are normal x
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Post by AnoniMouse on Sept 23, 2014 9:52:15 GMT
Wow, well I guess today is a good day.. tonight we are actually going out for dinner. That doesn't mean the night wont explode but little steps huh? Fingers crossed.
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Post by monica on Sept 23, 2014 10:23:15 GMT
Defo positive . Is it your anniversary? Have a good one - I know life's dealt you a challenging hand recently but stay positive x
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Post by AnoniMouse on Sept 24, 2014 10:49:16 GMT
Yes Monica, it was our anniversary, we went to our favourite restaurant, no babies or children and there was even alcohol consumed, my goodness we even kissed and held hands. We talked about many things over dinner, it was nice, nice is a good word. Its not back to what it was but its moved in the right direction. slowly slowly. yesterday was a good day. The babies are 4 months now and just starting to teeth, joy. haha.
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Post by sarajay28 on Sept 24, 2014 11:48:22 GMT
Excellent news, definitely a step in the right direction :-D so pleased for you. Ugh teething!! I sympathise especially as you have it double to contend with! Good luck x
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Post by monica on Sept 24, 2014 14:36:08 GMT
Really positive news. Glad u can see light at the end of the tunnelx
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Post by AnoniMouse on Sept 29, 2014 7:53:09 GMT
well its improving that's for sure, over the weekend we had a couple of minor 'moments'. Previously these would have exploded into bigger arguments, major fallouts but now they recover, there's still a bump in the road but its not a mountain. I don't have full confidence yet its a happy path but it seems to be more likely/possibly a happy path. Sorry not my best description but any guys reading this can perhaps see the subtle difference if they go through anything similar. Oh, and the girls are fab, lots more interaction and little cheeky smiles and trying to talk, helps immensely for mum bonding with them.
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