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Post by Kirsty on Aug 18, 2016 19:25:04 GMT
You keep strong too Lynne hope you feel better soon xx
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Post by monica on Aug 19, 2016 13:00:45 GMT
Really pleased the citalopram is kicking in and you're feeling better. Hopefully the other symptoms eg dizziness will calm down soon. It's tough for you - you're managing it well X
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Post by monica on Aug 21, 2016 17:37:59 GMT
How are you getting on Lynne? X
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Post by Jay on Aug 21, 2016 17:58:46 GMT
Hi Update on change over of pills It seems odd that after my ginormous dose of trazodone here I am with a small dose of Citalopram and I am falling asleep all the time. I am actually back in bed at nights now, it's not proper or relaxing sleep but it is sleep. I can't understand why I am not anxious and in a mess without the old pills, which were given to me to help cope with all the PTSD which wrecked my life, perhaps the nightmares and repeated reliving of the trauma are settled, I only seem to go to the bad place now and again the rest of the time I it seems more like a story now.
I will tell you though what happened earlier in the year. I am so upset about my weight, really really upset I am now a size 30-32 and at the last weigh in I was 105k. I bought an online hypnoband off of Woucher or Groupon, it was online relaxation sessions working your way up to the hypnotise gastric band op. Cost me £20 worth ever penny if it worked. Now the Psychologist had told me never to have hypnosis because it could bring back the PTSD and mess things up. A real hypnoband would have cost me £1000. Well there were sheets of paper work to print off, a work out to exercise and feelings to work along side the online relaxation sessions. I never did this part as I was so lacking in concentration and could not really read. The relaxation sessions were great, at first I thought it silly but off I went into peace, I loved working my way though them and was looking forward to the next one the following evening. So it was head phones on otherwise hubby just fell asleep to it with loud snoring (I think that I fell asleep sometimes..heavy breathing not loud snorky snores) As I was getting near to the op, (which frightened me as my trauma happened in hospital and I did not want things upset again) there was a deeper session, well it took me deep into it. I had to think of something which had not been nice in my life which could have been the reason to have made me over eat and get so over weight. This I found was stupid, I could think of nothing, I had to think again still nothing came. It was on about being pulled down into a hole, down down into a deep hole , pulling and pulling, and when you thought that you must have got to the bottom then the pulling continued, it was weird and I did not find it ver pleasant , the pulling went on and I shot into the sexual abuse part of me life, it was the absolute fear which got me, I had not remembered this fear for 30 years and there it was, it overtook me, made me burst into tears, made every thing so vivid and terrifying that if it had not have settled by the next day then I was going to have to go to the GP and ask her to get it out of me. Things settled and it was gone. I could not have believed it all. My Psychologist had been right about me not trying hypnosis well not for me with all my past problems. I did not go on to do the operation session. But for the right people It could probably be amazing, I could never have believed that I could get hypnotised as much as I did.
I know that some of you girlys are trying hypnosis to help with your awful thoughts, I wondered how you were getting on with it, and if it is helping?
Lynne x
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Post by Kirsty on Aug 21, 2016 19:32:53 GMT
Hi Lynne
I'm doing hypnosis but I can't say it's helping at the moment. Well that's wrong for me to say actually, I find it really relaxing at the time but I don't know if it's helping long term with my thoughts because I still have them. I just don't know if I'm ever going to get better xxx
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Post by Jay on Aug 23, 2016 11:26:49 GMT
Well I've made the decision to cut down my Lamotrogine (not sure if I should be doing this!) I feel so drugged up in the mornings and I am finding this awful so the only thing I can think of is cutting the others down, after all I have a ginormous dose of Lamotrogine also, so I have just cut out 50mg now and will cut down again tonight. I can always increase it if things go wrong, I am brave enough to have a go at this. On the whole I feel better without the trazodone, I am not racking me brain all day every day on how I am going to get well. My joints do not hurt, and the awful feelings in my head feel better. They originally saved my life so they were not a bad option at the start, and I know many people who take them and they are very well, so don't give up on yours if they have been prescribed because they are a good medication, I just needed to change to a new one. I am hoping to be able to get going again and be well again soon. It is not many months ago that my husband said that there was no way I could get well, and I thought that I would just have to bide my time until old age got me, (and it scared me how many years away this could be) and it was after telling the GP about this that got me referred to see a psychiatrist for an assessment, so the moral of the story is to be assessed and to get help and work though the problems, unfortunately it does not get better over night so you have to be brave until meds and therapies start to work. Don't give up be strong girls.
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Post by monica on Aug 24, 2016 11:55:54 GMT
Wow it's amazing how well you're doing and the effects of cutting back on your drugs has had. I would talk to pharmacist at least about cutting back - just don't want you to crash and burn ....hopefully you'll be fine but with advice at least you'll know how best to do it.
Really well done Lynne on your courage and perseverance. You should be proud of yourself . I know how much you've struggled for years - this will the start of a new and magical beginning for you x
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Post by Jay on Aug 29, 2016 18:42:15 GMT
update again
My head is not in the awful mess that has ruined my life for 9-10yrs. I am not spending every waking hour keep thinking how to survive and how on earth I am going to get better. It's fantastic!! The side effects of Citalopram ..... abdominal pain, .....was bad enough to have to keep taking pain killers and a trip to the GP, it is known to do this so I had the option of changing meds or keep going for another month with the hope things might settle. So I am going to wait and the pain is there only sometimes now and I don't need pail killers. I changed to taking Citalopram in the morning so that pain did not keep me awake. Sweating... I hate it. I have never been a sweaty person before and here I am keep wiping my face on a tissue and keep having to have a shower. I am so hoping that this stops. Very windy...breaking wind all the time. Very embarrassing!! Keep sleeping all the time....some days I am asleep all day. Yesterday I got up at 7am, by 9am I was so tired that I went to bed and slept for an hour, then I slept from about 12-2pm, then kept yawning and falling asleep the rest of the day. I was a bit worried as I have to drive to and from Gatwick airport on Friday. I cannot have a day like yesterday or I am never going to manage it. Soooo I decided to take only half a Citalopram at night, and I have cut one of my Lamotrogine in half so I am taking 175mg twice a day (old dose was 200mg twice a day. Today I have not been tired, so I shall try this dose and see what happens. Don't know when I will get next apt with Psychiatrist, but need to thank them for helping me.
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Post by Kirsty on Aug 29, 2016 20:11:47 GMT
Glad you are feeling better Lynne x
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Post by monica on Aug 30, 2016 15:57:30 GMT
Brilliant news! It sounds like you're really getting your life back - am so happy for you .
Re citalopram side effects - I had stomach pains and bad wind too! It did settle down so hopefully a couple of weeks and you'll feel better in that count x
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Post by Kirsty on Aug 30, 2016 18:25:18 GMT
I'm thinking of asking to change to citilapram x
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Post by Jay on Sept 12, 2016 9:13:44 GMT
My update now
Still not sorted I think! Do not like side effects of this medication. (They will all be different for other people Kirsty, when my husband was on them he did not have any side effects which bothered him at all). For me the things I don't like..... Even though I am cutting them in half I still keep falling asleep quite a lot during the day. I still sweat, my fore head and upper lip are wet and when I cook dinner I just over heat etc. I have unsettled sleep, I don't know what I am dreaming about but I feel like I am running away from something so feel unrested which might also be one of the reasons that I fall asleep in the day. I still itch, mainly my head so I rake though my hair all the time. (Hummm hair standing on end most of the time...nice!) It's Not a problem .....as I just need to go back to the GP and ask to be changed to something else. When I had my baby lots of years ago, nearly 25 yrs now, the very first type of antid's they gave me was ok and enabled me to get on with life. There are lots of antidepressants and there will be the right one for everyone needing help from them, but sometimes they just needs to tweak about a bit with them to get correct type and dose. Do not look on antidepressants as bad things, or feel bad about taking them, they are marvellous things when prescribed and needed. Just a holding hand to see you though when things are difficult, and PNI which hangs about is difficult and so unfair. I can remember feeling bad and like a failure at needing antidepressants, when the GP said about going on them I just sat there and cried, but I took them and slept again and straight away managed a holiday which I was worried about managing. I think that Mum's are strong, brave, and work really hard and keep our families going, while also looking after a small baby 24/7. Somehow we have and find the strength to do this. Remember when you are feeling bad about things, feeling a failure, you need not be thinking these things. Feel proud about yourself, of all the good things you are achieving. Of how strong you are. Of how special you are....and ...yes you are a good person. Keep strong and look after yourselves. I send my love to all you new mums X
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Post by monica on Sept 13, 2016 16:16:42 GMT
Hi Lynne
How r u? When ru seeing dr/psych next? Perhaps getting advice on meds and options would be good. It's v hard to function if you're falling alsleep all the time.
It does sound as if you're doing really well on an emotional level and certainly coping in spite of side effects . Is that right? X
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Post by Jay on Sept 19, 2016 4:40:27 GMT
Well here's a turn up for the books... I have found that I don't actually need to take antidepressants now. The new ones were still annoying me and I could not get an apt with the nice GP, and I still have not had my apt through from psychiatrist, so I had a think about things. I thought about halving the Citalopram again (down to a quarter) to see if it would stop me from keep falling asleep etc. And then though that I would be on such a low dose that I wondered how I would get on without any.
So here I am feeling better and not actually needing the antidepressants. What a big thing for me...I feel free
I still need to talk to someone about the lamotrogine which were given to me to help make the trazodone work. I don't know how to sort out what to do about them, or I suppose if I need them, but I will wait for advice about this. I still need to learn to live again, it's been so long that I have been disabled by the illness and the awful feelings in my head, and here they are gone. I feel a bit lost. Not sure how to get going again. Yesterday I cried lots when I thought about things. Mainly, how life has changed since the psychiatrist apt.
The sweating which I thought was a side effect of Citalopram is still there without meds....sooooo am I a sweaty person who has had this problem masked by meds? Don't know, but I don't like it! It's not as hot now so it is better than it was a week ago, but when cooking a meal I am mopping my face all the time. Yuck. I bet the GP will home in on it being caused by being over weight...well that's a next hurdle to do.
The reason that I felt I could play around with my doses of Meds is because I have been on them for lots of years. I use to always be able to sense my body and know to tweak my dose. The GP who looked after me for 25yrs before retiring use to say to me when I wanted to tweak them was..you know your body more than I do so let's try it. I would never recommend to anyone to just stop or mess about with your meds. I got lucky BUT only because the Psychiatrist got me started in the right direction and made me feel safe and give me the plan and wrote down the dates to gradually reduce the old meds until I was off of them. It just so happened that I now do not need new ones.
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Post by monica on Sept 19, 2016 10:40:54 GMT
It's wonderful to hear how things are improving for you and you're getting your life back after struggling for so many years. I imagine taking small steps forward by perhaps trying to things that you've been interested in that will both be a distraction and interest might be something to consider . Is there anything you'd like to do?
Re sweats, if it's not meds could it be start of menopause? Sorry don't know your age. I'm 43 and think things have started to move in that direction - hair has changed from thick to frizzy, missed period, a couple of flushes...might be worth talking to gp about x
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