A bit lost today

[Struggling 2under2]

I'm struggling with a 17 month old and a 6 week old. My husband is usually great but he hasn't really uped his game since our littlest one arrived and most days just comes in and works out then expects his dinner made I csnt remember the last time he made dinner and j sleep in our seperate bedroom because I'm breastfeeding and he is such a light sleeper which is okay but lonely and I wake witb the newborn then the toddler still wakes 2 or 3 times a night today I broke down told him I was struggling and i don't feel like myself he said why why do u feel like this well I don't bloody know do i I wish I didn't feel like this I put on 4.5 stone and I've lost 2.5 but nothing fits me and I feel like I don't know who i am no point to this post really I just feel lost

[monica]

Welcome !

I think most people would feel pretty rubbish - constant tiredness, loneliness and two very young children coupled with hormones and not much support.

There’s every point to your post. You’ve identified what’s bothering you and that’s a very important first step. How long have you felt this way?

I would strongly recommend you visit your dr. You’ve identified that you feel unhappy and are struggling - dr can help you in various ways. Having someone acknowledge how you’re feeling really can help. You can be referred for talking therapies and or medication if you and your dr feel it is the best course of treatment. Believe me your gp will have heard the same or similar from hundreds of women before you. Could you do this.

You will recover from this . Perhaps try giving your husband specific tasks to do that’ll make your life a bit easier. He probably doesn’t even realise you might need extra help - that’s men for you! Can you fit in a little me time in to your week? That would make a difference too x

[leanneh]

Hey!

Please don't be so hard on yourself. As monica said there is every point to your post as you are opening up about how you feel. It's important to offload! I have a two and a half year old and I think you're an absolute star! My lb is such a handful and my husband is so great with him and hands on and there is no way I could cope with a second!!

Can you maybe sit your husband down and talk to him properly. Tell him what is bothering you and how you feel and that he needs to support more. Men can be a bit clueless and I know initially my husband didn't really understand how I felt and how he could help. It took a long time but when I really was unwell he had to step up. He's fab now but I honestly think if I hadn't spelling it out to him he wouldn't be any different!!

Do you have any family and/or friends you can lean on. I know it's hard to accept help from others but you really need to put yourself first!! Can someone help for an hour or so with your older child for example for a day or two a week so you can spend time with just the newborn and nap when they nap etc. Or even pop round and help with both!!

Is there a way you could put your youngest in nursery for a day or two a week to help take some of the pressure off? I know by me there is a specialist sleep hv who a few local mums to me have really rated so it could be worth seeing if that's available! Lack of sleep can really affect mood so I think getting that sorted is key! Xx