Richard Walter Question

[Veritee]

Hi Everybody, my wife is in a mother baby unit at this moment suffering puerpal psychosis for the second time after giving birth on 11th July,she had it the first time 14 years ago with her first child which she was so bad she was in hospital for nearly 5 months and had ECT about 14 times!,This time its not as bad as she has bonded slightly with the new baby,I wondered if you could give me some good websites to check on this condition and what are the best medications for this condition.
My heart goes out to you all how has suffered this as i have just been with my wife in hospital for 5days trying to do my best for her,but i have had to come home for a break as it is very stressful and distressing seeing my wife with this condition

[Veritee]

Dear Richard

I am so very sorry to hear that you are going through this sad time.
Please get some rest yourself and a break - it can be very hard visiting someone you love who is an inpatient in a psychiatric unit or hospital as I have found myself. perhaps harder in some ways than the person who is hospitalized

Is she in a mother and baby Unit or a mainstream psychiatric unit/hospt?

Also make sure that you have support too as others in your position have found this very stressful themselves and have found they have needed support and counseling themselves. if you read through some of the threads in this section you will find that this is so - I hope you are being offered help and support too - but by all means use this site for our own support.

As to good websites on PP I am sad to say their are very few and very little info on the net for PP.

but many of the women who use this site have suffered similar and have spent time hospitalized so perhaps some will share this experience with you.

this is not a medically based site but I self help and mutual support service for sufferers survivors and for partners and families so we can not give medical advice but we can support you through this time a little.

However one of our members who suffered PP has a web site with some information on it that you could look at and I will ask around to see if i can suggest anywhere else.
the member is Naomi and her web site is here: www.ppinfo.org.uk/

But please look through this section to see others experiences and please feel free to offload and share what you are going through

All the best

Veritee

[sare]

Hi Richard,

I can't add anything to what Veritee has said, I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and your family and sending lots of love your way

We're here for you
xxx

[cheshire]

Dear Richard,

I am so very sorry to hear of your wife's illness and hope you get all the support you can at this difficult time.

This is a site I can suggest:

www.help4mums.org/asp/mContent.asp?pID=11

My thoughts are with you and your family

Hopefulx

[cheshire]

Our Patron also has a web site as she suffered with PP:

www.elainehanzak.co.uk/

[Richard Walter]

Thx for all your kind posts everybody and useful links,I will keep you all posted on how my wife is doing

[richardwalter]

Just ordered the book "Eyes Without Sparkle" Hope this will let me understand what my wife is going through at the moment,back up to the mother baby unit tomorrow to stop the night with wife ,let you know how she is over weekend everybody

[richardwalter]

As to your question Veritee my wife is in a mother baby unit with 24hr support from the staff,its not as bad as the first time because the doctors started her on lithium 2 days after baby was born just in case she got Puerperal Psychosis again good job they did, Lithium did help alot i reckon as it is no way as bad as the last time,She is seeing the same Psychiatrist at the hospital she saw 14 years ago and he said to me the other day my wife was the worst case he had ever seen,but this time he said she is no where near as bad as she was the first time,but she is still very unwell,staring straight through you when you try to talk to her which is hard to handle some times,and her thinking shes going to get shot if she goes outside in the little garden at the hospital :'(and coping with all the other stuff she comes out with,i needed a break i have been in the mother baby unit with her for 5 days 24hrs a day trying to help her the best i can,but it has all got to me and i started to feel like i was locked up in there,going back to see wife tomorrow and stay the night with her if i can not sure if i can handle another night in there yet though

[clairecharlie]

Hi Richard

I'm sorry your wife is not well. I can see that you love her very much n that you are there for her.

I am in recovery of pni but for me the lack of support \ understanding i felt i had from my partner played a major part in my illness and perhaps delayed my recovery. I know it is hard for you to see your wife as ill as she is but i can assure you that she will appreciate your support

Good luck n i wish you both well

Claire x x x

[helenr]

Hi Richard,

I justwanted to welcome you to the site, and to say how lucky your wife is to have someone who cares about her as much as you obviously do.

Please try to get some rest,
love and hugs x

[Veritee]

Thank you Richard for the information as she is obviously in the best place she can be

- I asked because:

1. I wanted to know for my own research purposes how many mums with PP manage to get a place in a dedicated Mother and baby psychiatric unit

2. because I know from experience that a main stream psychiatric unit is not always helpful for women with PP and PNI and wanted to know so as to know how best to advise you if she were in a mainstream unit

I also hope that this forum gives you some support too as I know how hard this can be to visit someone in such a unit

- yes you do get to feel that you too are locked up in the unit too! I have visited three people on a daily basis and been involved in ward rounds and their care, who were in psychiatric units and while they were not my partner, they were very close to me and I do know a little of how difficult it can be ......

I also know the way that the person can 'stare through you' and how difficult and hurtful this can be when you are close to this person.
One very close friend I visited on a daily basis and spent a night in the Unit with her, did this for some weeks and while she was not my partner we were very close and while she was in hospital for three months I fostered her then 11 year old son.

So it was very difficult as I had full responsibility for her child, yet she could not relate to me ( or anyone ) for a long time and as well as staring through me she would also get angry with me for things that were in her own reality and not 'real' in the outside world,

( this person is now better, and fully caring for her own child and we are still good friends - but I do know how difficult it is for those that love the person who is in hospital - and it will be more difficult for you as this is your wife and not a friend)

So my heart really goes out to you at this time

but have you considered responding to the other men on here that are currently going through the same thing?

We women on here who suffer PNI get great comfort from sharing our stories and experiences and supporting each other but and this is what the forum is based upon..

But we do find that even though two partners/husbands can be on here with their wives/partners going though similar things ...
that they do not often write to each other .

It may be that for partners/husbands/close relatives this is not supportive like it is for sufferers?

However I wanted to say that a member 'Lab' is currently going through a similar thing as you.

His wife is in a unit run by the Priory and his posts can be seen here: veritee.proboards7.com/index.cgi?board=men&action=display&n=1&thread=2504&page=3

and 'dl' has gone through some of the things you have spoken about - his posts are here: veritee.proboards7.com/index.cgi?board=men&action=display&n=1&thread=2483&page=8 - he still uses the forum from time to time

There are other posts in this section from partners/husbands/relatives that have supported someone through PNI

If it would not help you to read their posts and/or respond to them - please just forgive me for suggesting it

But if it may help - I know that they would welcome you posting to them or asking them about their experience and the treatment their partner/wife is getting.

This may give you some helpful information too
and it may be supportive for you.
But if this is not how you work and will not help to talk to another partner/husband of a woman with PP or severe PNI - it is OK

You are - of course - free to post on your own threads only and our female members/sufferers and survivors will do our best to answer any questions and support you

I just thought I would suggest it

All the best

veritee

[richardwalter]

Thx Veritee,seen wife today she seems to be getting better can have a sensible chat with her today

[Scarlet]

Welcome to the site Richard. I didn't have pp myself but I had severe pni (and perinatal depression ~ I was 26 weeks pregnant) and spent 10 weeks in a psych ward this time last year. This was with my second as I didn't have pni with my first.

I am about 90% recovered now, and am back to having a normal life, although I'm still scarred by the experience of it all.

So glad to hear that your wife seems a bit better today, she will get better Richard it just takes time.

Keep talking and we will be here to support you.

Scarlet
X

[destiny]

my thoughts go out to you....

I was diagnosed with this terrible and much understood illness back in Jan 2006. I spent time at a London Mother and Baby unit following a short spell in a main stream psychiatric unit awaiting a place.

My partner visited me daily during confinement whilst trying to carry on life as though nothing untoward had happened.

At times like this accept all the support that you can get. My partner bottled a lot of his emotions up and put his energy into getting me well whilst protecting our new born. I have recovered but he still finds it hard to express his feelings.

Try to rest as much as you can. Eat well. Get fresh air. and talk talk talk. AND ask questions as that's why the professionals are there.

There is support out there for partners and it might be worth discussing this with the support team. My partner and I received family therapy for a few weeks prior to me being discharged and it was also offered afterwards, however he declined this, I carried on.

I wish you well. PP sufferers are few and far between and sadly as there's not much written on the subject we feel almost invisible. I know my partner trawled the net for explanation upon explanation to no avail. The results were frightening and he couldn't quite relate. I am surprised at my own recovery and I know others are too. But I'm proof that you can pull through.

I have recently finished reading Elaine Hanzaks book. Her story is similar to mine although I swayed more towards mania rather than depression and self harm. My treatment was psychotic drugs and 6 weeks of stay at a unit with my child along with group therapy and coping strategies. It was excellent.

I have recently requested information from Mind and have registered on the PNI-UK site. I have also sent my details through to AP - Action Against Puerperal Psychosis - after reading one of there recent newsletters asking about former sufferers.

Anyway, once again, I wish you, your wife and your family well.

M

[cheshire]

Hi Richard,

I'm so sorry this is happening to you, but it will get better and will take time.

Destiny is right in that this is a terrible and mis-understood illness.
Early on, reading about it helped me so much (you'll find a thread from about three years ago about that here, which the others allowed me to 'do' when I was a member rather than moderator).

I have read Elaine's book a couple of times - as I have others - and have been inspired and encouraged how women get through this. But it seems to me, that it is so different for everyone, which I think is why it is misunderstod and complicated. It will get better.

Thinking of you and be strong for your wife - you may not get any thanks for it, but it will help.

Hopefulx