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Post by francoise on Jan 28, 2005 21:05:22 GMT
im worried now that people are going to come on the site less and feel like they may leave and new ones just about to post may not now , cant we all just agree to disagree now and veritee i think has sorted it out so the sex stuff is away and the debates are away from the main threads so it should all be ok now eh , i cant see any problem now with the site atall anyone can mention .love francoise x
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Post by Veritee on Jan 28, 2005 21:25:46 GMT
Hi fran
I had to go out tonight to Tai Chi, so I have not been on the forum - I have nto yet looked at the main forum as this was on my screen when I came back.
But I hope so too.
However I think it shuld be OK to talk about the forum here in a constructive way if people want to.
All the best
veritee
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Vonda
Senior Member
I am 33 - two daughters, almost 3 years and 9 months
Posts: 302
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Post by Vonda on Jan 28, 2005 22:36:57 GMT
I can honestly say that I don't care anymore who said what or even why. I am fed up of all the upset that its causing.
Vonda
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banana
Senior Member
The good days are back!!!
Posts: 361
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Post by banana on Jan 29, 2005 11:43:11 GMT
dont worry Fran, Im sure the new format will help with how people have been feeling. Those of us who have been happy arent going anywhere and dont worry about newcomers - they are posting, and their comments always say how positive they find the site, a couple recently have said they have been looking on here for ages and finally plucked up the courage to start a thread and say hi - so the current users must be doing something right.
Banana x
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Post by wendabell on Jan 29, 2005 19:22:03 GMT
lets put it all in the past and move on. I hope all new and old members can feel good about posting on here again.
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Post by francoise on Feb 11, 2005 0:46:47 GMT
wendy dont u think the forum has changed alot since , i think alot of poeple that were posting alot dont come on as much , the new ones are lovely though and its great the ones that used to be on are here as i have read all the old threads so it seems like i know them already but the atmosphere never got back ,its so much more quieter now ,mind u i think it may get busier again hopefully ,its better busy isnt it so theres always people on and thren there is a vibe when its really busy to that u dont get when its quiet and anyway just saying seeing what anyone thought
love fran
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Post by Veritee on Feb 11, 2005 12:18:01 GMT
Dear Fran
I think you are right.
The recent events certainly changed the forum and unfortunately I think we lost some of the people who were using it at the time.
I can not blame them for thinking that they just did not want this hassle in their lives.
This forum is here to assist and support women with PNI who find things difficult enough without having to cope with unnecessary grief/difficulties that are not of their making, and are outside what is most important to them - their babies and families.
I think that those who have stuck with it despite all this have done very well to do this in the hope that the forum will again be useful - but I can totally understand those who do not come on here any more.
This episode was so damaging and hurtful and totally unnecessary that it did make me feel that if one or too people can do such damage because they are themselves feeling hurt by others - then it may not be in everyone’s interests to continue the forum.
I do not mean that I would just pull the plug - I would never do this , but I was considering a gradual withdrawal.
However I now feel that we have had a shake up, I can not dismiss all the welcome support this forum has given many women in the past who are now recovered and while this forum can not in any way take credit for their recovery - I do think/know that having this support available when they were really low, helped them to get through and made it less painful and frightening at times. I think that while some past users are either using it less, or not at all and I am really sorry for that and in fact I miss them, I do think the forum is worth carrying on as new members join all the time and the forum may change - but it will still support women.
Perhaps we have learnt from this, those that are left as I certainly have and I think I will be able to avoid anything like this happening in the future.
I think that even I did not realise the power of a forum like this to damage as well as support - I do now and hope I am ready for anything else potentially damaging.
So I say give it a while, I am sure it will build up again.
I doubt if it will be as chatty as before ( maybe it will though - I cant tell) this may be a good thing as it is less easy to misunderstand someone or get offended if we are more serious ( this may be safer, but it is really up to the current users at any one time as to how they want to relate) Anyway I agree it has changed but then in my experience it changes every few months or so anyway, it as this was caused by unfortuate events and it all changed a bit fast!
All the best
Veritee
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Ryn
Full member
Posts: 60
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Post by Ryn on Feb 11, 2005 14:23:29 GMT
Hi all, I agree with both of you Veritee and Fran. I used the forum since last June - and found the recents events very worrying. I found it very difficult to know what to say during all the "difficult discussions". I watched from the sidelines I guess - I was very upset and worried that women with PNI in common, (who should be supporting each other) were actually hurting each other. I wrote a number of responses but in the end deleted them and did not post for fear of causing more upset. Maybe this was the same for many other women.
What I really wanted to say was that I think you have a done a fantastic job of keeping the forum together Vertiee, under really difficult circumstance. You found a way forward.... and I really like the new look forum. I think you have added some great new sections and dealt with the areas of conflict very well... so in a way I see that some good has come out of the conflict (silver linings and all that).
I also admire those of you, who stayed posting on the forum through these difficult times. I just found it too difficult to know what to say so said nothing! But if we had all done that there would be no discussion on the forum. so a big well done to those of you who kept posting and kept it together.
Vertitee I found this forum incredibly useful, and helpful. I spent hours on it in the early days of PNI, looking for answers - and it was so comforting to know that there were (unfortunately!) other women out there experiencing the same. As time has gone by I have gained range of support from the forum, this varied depending on my needs but people were always there to help and I think this has helped me along my recovery. Things are good for me at the moment. I came off my antid's at Christmas and things have been OK since. I hesitate to say I am recovered... but I am ceratinly getting there, and the forum played a part in that - so thanks for all that you have done. It is an invaluable resource and I am so glad you have found a way to resolve things. I think now things have calmed down a bit, and it will find it's new level, that will hopefully accomodate all.
Sorry this has been so long and rambling - well done to those who made it to the end!!! Thanks to all of you for being there. Love Kathy
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Post by francoise on Feb 11, 2005 16:04:12 GMT
hi
i did a big reply to you veritee earlier and then lost my connection so lost it all
i agree with everything you said to
and kathy hun i know you were using it before and i had you in my list of names that i was missing seeing.
it wasnt me being good thta made me carry on throughout it all , i needed support throught the last six months ,to be honest im more angry about it now happening than i was at the time and i know veritee handled it well but if it happened again i think it would get nipped in the bud because we could see the start of it coming so much more clearer now after that
i found it very damamging to my state of mind and the ones i was in contact with and still am off the forum , they were affected aswell ,yeah but like u said kathy somegood must come out of it ,wether it gets chatty or not busy or quiet itsa gonna help some women isnt it ,which is fantastic,hope to see again on here kathy ,we missed you but so glad to see your recovering hun , that was your hard work that did that so well done babe , im really pleased for you and admire your strentgh
love fran x
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