loss of interest in sex

[nickycartwright]

Hi all, it feels a bit weird talking to strangers about my sex life but what the hell, since i have been diagnosed with pnd i have lost all interest in sex completely, my poor partner must be going through hell, has anyone else experianced this as before my baby was born me and my partner had a good sex life.

[yoyo]

It's horrid isn' it! I too went through this - completely not like me. I found it really hard to deal with as I felt repulsed by the idea and that made me think I didn't care for my hubby enough anymore. Good news is though that this does return and things are better than ever - but it can go during blips again. Try not to be too worried about it - easier said than done. As with much PNI it fades in time x

[jemma]

snap since i was about 30wks pregnant my sex life totally dissapered , my baby is 14 weeks now and its still not back , not like me at all , it came and went again now it just feels like a chour ,my poor husband we used to have a good sex life aswell. hope your right ans hope it does come back soon x

[hannah457]

i was the same, sex was the last thing on my mind.
but lucking for my partner my sex drive has come back with a vengance.
mind you i dont think he will complain cos hes now getting the sex lol

hannah xx

[Jo]

I have gone completely the other way - DP and I have always had a good sex life, but whilst straight after the birth and when PNI started I felt nothing like it, now I cant get enough.... does this mean I'm getting slightly better (sorry if too much info)

[twinmummy]

Mostly, I'd just rather have a nice cup of tea and a foot rub thank you very much! Now I know what my gran meant. I was unstoppable as a teen and early twenties - think I kind of peaked and nosedived. sorry!

[nishka]

Just wanted to add that my daughter is now 4 and I haven't been much interested in sex at all for pretty much all the time since her birth!! I would just rather sleep!! lol

[k]

i have lost interest in it too, i cannot stand any affection from my husband at all, the worst time ever was when i was pg with my son, he wanted sex, i didnt really want it, but let him get on with it anyway, i actually felt disgusted, i wanted him to stop so much but couldnt tell him as he wouldnt have understood, i lay there feeling absolutley disgusted it took all my power not to cry and run out the room. if i had told him to stop he would have done. i never ever felt like this before and it really upset me. although that hasnt happened like that since, i do sometimes find myself waiting for him to finish. i want to enjoy it, but i put a kind of wall up stopping myself from enjoying it, he must realise this but never says anything. i always feel really bad after sex, because i am not good enough for my husband. tbh through my depression, it seems to be him who i aim everything towards, i oush him away when he tries to hug me, and i hate to kiss him, this is especially true during sex, i cant bear kissing! its so horrible, i love him i am sure of that, but i just cant feel it at the moment. sometimes i am desperate for him to hold me, but i cannot let him hug me, i am scared of letting any emotion into it, and if i hug him for to long i might never let go. he was supposed to protect me, but he hasnt. (omg i have never thought that before - that has just made me cry!) i seem to blame him for everything, but who am i punishing, me or him? god i am even more of a mess that i thought

[gizmoracer]

I think the loss of sex drive is quite common with all forms of depression. I remember doing excatly the same as you K and just letting him get on with it, I became quite good at faking too if I'm honest, it seemed to get it over with quicker, because he always wanted me to be satisfied first. My hubby did know that I generally wasn't up for it but had no idea just how much the idea made me feel sick. At one point I was questioning if I still loved him because I couldn't understand why I wasn't physically attacted to him anymore. It's true what they say though it does come back once you start to feel better. I remember getting the odd few days when I really wanted sex as I started to recover, and now I am recovered (fingers crossed) There is no stoppping us again. So all I can say is that it will come back in time.

[winegirl]

Hi K

Just wanted to say that 15 months on from the birth of my daughter I am still repulsed by the idea of sex. My OH has been very understanding but it does cause us problems.

I believe it will get better in time, and until then my OH might just have to lump it. It may sound selfish but why would I want to put myself through something that made me feel so awful. I still love my OH and can show him that in lots of other ways until then.

I am assured by many that it does get better K, until then just do whatever makes you comfortable x

Winegirl x

[mrsg]

Reading these posts has made me feel like I am not alone.

Our youngest is 15 months and we have only had sex once in that time because I am so freaked out at the idea of getting pregnant again. I have had the contraceptive implant fitted but I am still paranoid.

I feel so guilty because my husband is wonderful and has been such a rock during the past 15 months and I love him so much but the thought of sex makes me feel sick. I am very glad it isn't just me and that there is hope afterall.

Thanks ladies xx

[winegirl]

Hi Mrs G

I am assured that the sex drive does come back. Although for me my baby is 16 months now and I am still waiting! Yes, the thought makes me feel sick too!

Hang in there, it will all come right again soon x

Winegirl x

[stevensmummy]

Hi

I think winegirl is right, we were just discussing this on another thread, we reckon it is very common and would be interting to see just how many of us is affected by this.

I took have a prob just now, I have to admit it is slightly better but mostly I cant stand the thought. He realises this but just now I have a good excuse, I just recently had a coil fitted and I keep saying I am still sore!

We'll all get better, we just have to wait and in the mean time, like it or lump it for the oh's!

Sarah x

[reann]

theres alot in this world we dont feel like doing. Our husbands work their butts off, im sure they dont always feel like it.
The least we can do it put their cocks in our mouth for 5 minutes a day. Men can be weak, if its not in us, it might be in someone else

[winegirl]

Hello Reann

It is interesting that you take that view, and I myself have often felt as though I should be more obliging. However, I feel that when faced with this illness it is very important to luck afterselves and not do things that could make our depression or anxiety worse.

For me personally having suffered a pretty awful labour, the thought of sex frightens me, and for someone who is suffering with anxiety as I am I know that making myself do something to make me more anxious is not going to help my recovery.

As for our partners looking for gratification elsewhere, I know that my OH loves me and is very supportive of the current situation. He does work hard and is a lovel caring father, and I know that if for a short period in our relationship we are not doing these things, he would not be so fickle as to go and find it elsewhere.

Have you yourself had any experiences with loss of libido due to PNI? We would welcome to hear your experiences.

Winegirl x