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Post by erin on Aug 12, 2006 8:32:55 GMT
Hi Ellen, how have you been?. My anxiety was high yesterday morning, but i went out for the day and did feel better. The thoughts have been a pain the last few days. Thing is when i et them i cant stop thinking that im such a horrible mother. Why cant i just get it in my head that there is no way ill hurt them. I know i wont realy so why am i like this. Its like im punishin myself. Had a session of counciling on wed. I came out feelin worse!! Them ive just about forot everything we where talkin about! My memory feels like its going, and im so tired of these meds. This is a alful illness, surly my meds should be working. Listen to me havin a rite moan. My dauhters 3, and my sons a yr and a half. This started when he was 8 months but it was only anxiety. like horrible tingling in hands and stuff like that. The thouhts started about 2 months ago that was when i went on the meds. I Thought i was ona get put in hosspital. And thought i was oing mad! Now everytime i tell a doc that im going mad, he says no your not. HOW DOES HE KNOW THAT??? Now ive one from wishing i would die to been scared to death that im goin to die. Cant win! Im going to go out today and try and ease my tormented mind! how about you, Whats the thoughts been like?? xx
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Post by ellenp on Aug 17, 2006 19:43:55 GMT
Hi Erin
So sorry to hear you're having a bad time. I had a very bad couple of days last week so moved my drs appointment forward. I felt better after I'd been and I'm going to start some medication. I don't think I mentioned before that I have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), it was fairly mild before I had my baby, though I'd have silly thoughts like 'have I locked the door' and go back and check several times until I felt ok. The dr told me that my OCD and thoughts following the birth of my daughter would be worse and the PNI won't help either, which doesn't really help me, but I am beginning to accept that this is an illness.
A book was recommended to me 'Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - A Self Help Guide Using Cognitive Behaviour Techniques'' by Rob Willson & David Veale. I haven't read much of it yet, but the small bit I have read really helped, there's a section where a lady explains a typical day for her, and I found myself really relating to parts of it. I think this might help you understand the thoughts even if you don't particularly have OCD.
Today has been much better for me, I'm just praying it continues to get better.
Take care and don't lose hope.
Ellen x
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Post by erin on Aug 19, 2006 12:23:31 GMT
Hi Ellen, Hope your still feeling better. Im just up and down at the moment, one day i hardly feel the thoughts there the nxt they bother me all day. Im so much better when i get out the house. Im getting realy bad tension headaches to. Ive never suffered from o.c.d that why i dont know where its coming from. I keep thinking im going to get locked away in a metal hospital cos of these thoughts. Then i think maybe thats a good idea, to get me away from everyone. Im going out b4 i crack! catch you later. erin xxx
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Post by Ellen on Aug 29, 2006 18:49:10 GMT
Hi Erin
Hope you've been ok, I seem to have got to a point where I can handle the thoughts but they still pop into my head, and I seem to be anxious about them returning. The last few days have been quite good for me and the wekend was good as my husband was able to spend some time with me too. I really think that book might help you, it's the only thing that I can think has helped me lately as it's the only thing I've done different to usual.
Ellen
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Post by erin on Aug 30, 2006 10:20:09 GMT
Hi Ellen, Ive had a good few days, my thoughts are just about the same at the moment, they to pop into my head now and again, i am certainly worse on my own. I will get that book. I seem to be obsessing over the fact that my mum left me when i was my sons age. I keep thinking that i might do the same. I know how much i love him, but i question myself all the time, what if I'm just like her and i do the same? It just awful. My councilor says its just irrational thoughts because I'm low, and she will be right. I just get scared of my thoughts. I'm so pleased your starting to feel better Erin xx
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Post by caroline 1 on Mar 12, 2007 7:57:54 GMT
Hi its caroline back again i know i havent been here for ages but i have been coping very well and even hoping to come off of the medication soon.but as soon as i start to feel on top something always manages to knock me back and this could be something silly like watching tv on saturday i was watching casualty and there was a young boy suffering from mental illness and was having horrid thoughts and voices.It has stirred something in me and i have started to let it play on my mind because i know what it was like for me and i worry this could happen again even this late on.My daughter is nearly seven is this common to be still happening to me i wonder if this will ever stop.I know i have improved a lot but little things still come back and hit me i try not to think about it but sometimes i just cant help it.Please tell me this is normal as i can only talk to you about it as i feel a bit silly after all this time im sorry for not being on here as much but i hope you dont mind me talking on here after all this time.i guess i just needed to tell someone that understands.Hope to here from you tahnks love caroline.
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Post by Veritee on Mar 12, 2007 9:06:25 GMT
Hi Caroline
Of course we don't mind you coming on here after so much time - you are welcome back anytime and it is nice to hear that you have been getting on so well, apart from this blip.
I think that it is 'normal' to get flash backs to theses thoughts after you are generally recovered, especially if a 'trigger' occurs that taps into your deep fears.
It does not mean that you are ill again, but depending on how long it lasts , you may need a bit of reassurance n this or to look at why this triggered you - what the fears are that this resurrected for you and why.
This forum recognizes that PNI can change us forever and can for some make us more mentally or emotionally 'fragile' which is why this forum is for survivors too - it certainly left me like this. I think their will always be things that will 'trigger' me at times, but I no longer have PNI and theses things do not last.
But see how you are - and if it settles and keep talking to us here
Veritee XXX
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caroline
Full member
keep posertive
Posts: 45
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Post by caroline on Mar 12, 2007 14:55:22 GMT
thankyou vetitee it means a lot to know that i can still chat here and it has made me feel better to know that this is normal and that there will be times when these triggers happen but i am determined not to let this get the better of me again so i suppose this proves that i am stronger than before,i would still like to hear from anyone that this has happened to even though this started for me over 5 years ago and i still occasionally suffer some of the symptoms. Its nice to know that im not alone in this even after all this time and thanks for the chance to have a chat i really needed this.Thanks love caroline
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Post by bam02 on Mar 12, 2007 16:13:47 GMT
Hiya Caroline
Yes its hard seeing somethings on T.V. - unfortunately it gets flashed around these images.
I have high hopes of somethings and T.V gives a vision of people being helpful - but they are not always in real life - almost the oppsite problem to you. Sorry if not making sense!
Sal
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Post by monica on Mar 12, 2007 19:03:38 GMT
Hi
I can relate to what you're saying completely. I'm so much better than I was in the depths of PNI and have been for a while, but every so often something will remind me of what I used to stress about and then it'll start playing on my mind. And I think that's normal and doesn't mean you're getting the old symptoms/thoughts back again. It isn't very pleasant being reminded of how you might have been.
It's good to hear from you and that you've been doing really well. You can come on this site as and when you please - it's always good to hear from you.
Monica
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Post by Jay on Mar 12, 2007 20:16:31 GMT
Hi Caroline,
TV can upset me. You can't know in advance what they will suddenly put on or what will be inclued in a story. And I think it depends who vulnerble you are on the day as well. I have also just found out that a certain type of lighting will also trigger flashbacks for me. This I found out by accident. And I thought the psychologist would think it is a silly idea, but she homed in on it. These things are a bit of a nuisance, and upset us, but it should settle down, and we feel a bit wobbly about it all.
Hope you feel better soon, Suzi xx
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Post by caroline 1 on Mar 19, 2007 20:56:38 GMT
thanks to you all for you replys you are right this has settled down now and i think i just needed to talk about it to people who understand and dont judge im so pleased i am able to deal with this and i guess i must be a lot better than before as this has settled now and at least i know if it happens again that its normal and i can deal with it,thanks again love caroline.
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Post by thinking on Jul 22, 2007 20:03:02 GMT
I have just read the origianal Dealing with thougths post.
And i have to try these things. I will write my thoughts down. I do the go to the pub thing which means i drink too much.
I think i will print themn out and look at the them, all the things you say. It made me think when I read the list
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Post by Scarlet on Apr 8, 2008 8:29:02 GMT
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Post by Scarlet on May 22, 2008 14:33:59 GMT
Got to thinking about intrusive obsessive thoughts which are so common with PNI, and thought I'd share my ramblings . From my own experience, it's like you wake up every morning and as soon as you do, you are analysing if they have gone, which they haven't of course if you need to question yourself, and this in turn sets them off again. It's akin to being on a hamster wheel. You wake up every morning and climb on the hamster wheel of obsessive snowballing thoughts, and you can't get off it no matter how you try. When you are suffering at your worst you will be on the wheel all day with no relief, and as you start to recover you will be able to get off the wheel for odd moments here and there (ups and downs) and then when you are more recovered the time spent off the wheel will increase. How do you get off the wheel? Hmmmm million dollar question, I think it's different for each of us, because we all have different stresses to deal with and life expereinces and life is not always a smooth path, we may have support or no support, and of course we have different expectations. This is why is prolly takes less time for some to recover than others. Having read quite a lot of literature on the subject (as you do) there are different techniques mentioned to getting you off the 'obsessive thought' wheel and into the present moment, ranging from tapping, flicking an elastic band on your wrist, meditation, 'mindfulness', saying to yourself 'STOP' when a thought comes in your head, having a dialogue with your thoughts and trying to counteract then with positive affirmations, imagining donald duck is saying the intrusive thought, distraction,exercise,...oooo the list is endless. I think each one works in it's own way, and to get fully well, you probably have to try a combination of these methods.... I did. For eg. tapping away the thoughts can perhaps give you 10 mins relief off the wheel, and sometimes this enough to get you through the rest of the day. Watching a movie, throwing yourself into a good book, cleaning the house (distraction) may give you relief as well. As might flicking the band on your hand reminding you to think of something else. At the beginning of your PNI you may have to do these techniques hundreds of times during the day, and you may get tired of it, and lose hope..and just let the thoughts take over. We all have had days like that, where we are back on that wheel and no way can we get off it...especially after a stressful even, we call this suffering a blip (setback) which are a necessary part of recovery, because sadly it's not a smooth journey. But the day passes and the next day you can try the techniques again....so never give up, you can and will recover. And as times moves on, you will find less time is spent on the wheel of obsessive thinking, you may have the odd setback here there still but you will trust the techniques you have learnt along the way and the setback will be short lived and less intense, and there will come a time when you are no longer on the wheel at all......FULL RECOVERY. of course would love to hear your thoughts if what I've said makes any sense (or not )...
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