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Post by monica on Aug 5, 2012 21:10:00 GMT
Hi
For me, I felt worse for 2-3 weeks then slowly started to improve. Just noticed one day I hadn't cried, or I had laughed, had managed one normal conversation, but saying tht I Have to stress everyone is different. I am not an expert at all but believe it can take for 3 months to notice effects. But do see your doctor for advice.
Hang on in there. This illness is the pits but it will improvexxx
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Post by wanagetoverthis on Aug 9, 2012 8:09:21 GMT
Hi missie
I'd def go back to your doctor and tell them how you feel. They may up your dose or give you something else.
My meds were upped from 50mg to 100mg to 150mg so you do sometimes have to adjust them to get better effects.
N xxx N xxx
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Post by missie on Aug 11, 2012 19:22:31 GMT
Hi, thanks for advice , went to doc and upped the meds again. You know wats really bothering me at the moment and it's driving me crazy. I willl be sitting down thinking nothing and itts like a voice in my head starts saying "paediphile,child abuser, child molester" and I cant get my mind to stop saying it and it gets me into a complete panic attack. I am just so scared that this won't end. I just want my life bk. Any advice, please
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Post by wanagetoverthis on Aug 12, 2012 8:05:01 GMT
Missie I promise you it will get better.
I'd feel exactly the same, it was absolute torture. When you get thoughts do the controlled breathing (if you click on 'how we can help' at the top of this page, then on the left hand side click 'Our Anxiety Toolkit' you will find instructions on how to do this.
It was great for getting my mind out of that negative place, usually resulting in me falling asleep as I get so relaxed. It's been a great help to me and I still use it if something makes me anxious or is overwhelming me.
You got anything nice planned for today?
Nat xxx
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Post by missie on Aug 12, 2012 9:02:34 GMT
Thanks for advice but I feel this torture will never end. My doc has me back on benzodiazepines which help and basically put me to sleep but i don't like having to be on them this long-8wks. Has any one else had to be on them? I would love to hear if u were. Doc thinks its just taking a long time for anti-depressants to kick in . It feels like years but he says 8 weeks ain't that long.
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steph
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Post by steph on Jun 2, 2013 12:00:14 GMT
Hi I posted on this site 3 and a half years ago when my baby girl was 1. I suffered with PNI with the dreaded thoughts and worries about sexual abuse. With the help of citolapram, this site and some counselling I managed to get through the awful illness and pretty much fully recovered. I then went on to have my gorgeous son in October 2011 who is now 20 months. I continued to take my medication throughout my pregnancy and only completely came off a few months ago as had been feeling myself again for few years now. For the past few weeks I had been feeling slightly anxious and have been dwelling on some of the dreaded thoughts I used to have and it has now got me in a bit of a state again. It has built up over a few weeks and gradually got worse, I am now feeling in a constant state of anxiety and can't shake the feeling that it is me that wants to do these things to my gorgeous babies, I manage to rationalise some of the time but it seems to be me doubting myself more. I almost dread being around my children for fear of bringing on more thoughts. It's unbearable! I had some Citolapram left in the cupboard so started to take 10mg again about a week ago which I have now increased to 20mg as I feel so low with it all. Am going to see GP for some more next week. I know I have been doing so brilliantly these past few years and had managed to get past all this so I now feel such a failure for allowing it all to happen again. How can I feel myself one minute and then completely filled with anxiety and dread the next. I keep having stupid worries that just looking at my daughter when she is undressed some how means I'm perveted in some way! Now I have my son as well I worry I am not going to cope as well and with my nearly 5yr old daughter being older than before and able to pick up on things like me crying more. Don't think I can go through this again, I have had blips on the past but I am feeling so so low right now I feel like I am sinking. This just does not seem fair, I just want to be able to enjoy the time with my family I love so much and not have this constant cloud of doom above me. This website/forum helped me so much last time in knowing I was not alone in all this. Just seeking some reassurance that this will all get better again and I'm not a complete failure
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Post by juppster on Jun 2, 2013 17:38:09 GMT
I can tell you that you are not in the slightest a failure and you have done the right thing by making an appointment with your gp to discuss how you are feeling. Remember you have beaten this illness once, you will beat it again. Keep talking to us here and let us know how you get on next week with your gp x
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Post by Weeble on Jun 2, 2013 20:39:41 GMT
Hi Steph
You are not alone, these thoughts are really really common. Well done for going to see your gp. Hope you had a good weekend!!
Kat
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Post by monica on Jun 3, 2013 13:51:10 GMT
Welcome back! Sorry ur having these thoughts. It does sound as if teir return coincides with coming off Meds but don't despair. It well b a temporary thing as ur body adjusts to not taking them. When I came off Meds I wobbled a reducing them. When I came off them, I had a good month then an almighty blip, which was horrific. However after that I was ok.
Did u learn any tools to help with te thoughts? It's a vicious circle- u have them so u start to worry and they get worse so anything that helps distract u is good. Wear An eastic band on ur wrist and every time a thought pops in flick te and. The momentary pain can help get rid of the thought.
A cpn also recommended vit b/ evening primrose supplements . Exercise helped me hugely. Think the endorphins give you a big pick e up. Could you try doing something even if it's a fast walk round the block.
Do see ur gp for advice. You are not a failure at all. On the contrary you are a brave lady seeking help when feeling very low.
These are just thoughts and no reflection on u as a person just a common horrible symptom of this illness.
Monica
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steph
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Post by steph on Jun 3, 2013 16:48:41 GMT
Hi ladies
Thank you so much for responding, you are all such inspiration. This website really is a godsend for women suffering with this horrific illness and I commend you all for helping others in my situation. I wish I was as brave, maybe one day.
I think my biggest problem at the moment is the anxiety, I just don’t seem to be able to control it which then makes me more irrational, it’s as if I have let it consume me. Constant what if, what if, I’m bad , it’s definitely me etc which terrifies me –bringing on anxiety. The fear takes over. I wonder whether part of it is going back on the tablet’s as I have heard it can get worse before it gets any better when starting or going back on meds?? Can any of you relate to this?
Spoke to a doctor on the phone last Friday who prescribed me some Citolapram to keep me going initially and advised I book an appointment with my actual doctor to discuss further etc. I have a phone appointment with him next Monday as couldn’t get an actual appointment until 22 nd June!!! So hard to get a standard appointment unless an emergency!! Hoping.
I will try and take some of your advice Monica, thank you.
Hoping the nice weather will improve my mood and being back to work this week after half term last week will take my mind of things a little.
Fingers crossed I don’t have any more meltdowns.
xxxx
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Post by Weeble on Jun 3, 2013 21:03:40 GMT
. Look after yourself
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steph
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Posts: 87
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Post by steph on Jun 8, 2013 15:03:35 GMT
Hi ladies
Hope you are all well?
Still struggling a little at the moment. Definitely still not feeling myself which is a shame. Works been good to take my mind off things but just have this dread feeling every morning or when I know I am going to be on my own with my children. I love them so much and hate that I have let this take over again. Harder today as hubby working all day. Got myself worrying about looking at other children now when we are at park or supermarket etc, specifically girls as they are so vulnerable if they are wearing skirts and flashing knickers etc I panic that I will want to look that then makes me look and then I feel sick and very distressing. Was in tears in car on way back from park today. I don't want to look so why am I? Ahhhhhh! It's torture, makes me feel like I can't spend time with my children like I have been for so long now. I think I know deep down it isn't me that is bad from the anxiety and sickness that I feel and I know I have and will get through all this again but I just can't shake obsessional thinking and worry which brings on all the anxiety. Think I'm going to send myself crazy. Thoughts seem to change every day like I am constantly testing and torturing myself.
Still have my phone app with doc on Monday so going to see about getting some more CBT counselling again. Need to nip this in the bud.
Am I right in thinking that going back on meds after being off them for quite a few months can make you feel worse before you get better again?
This site is helping me so much though and calms me down to read others stories and posts to know I'm not alone.
xxxx
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steph
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Post by steph on Jun 9, 2013 9:04:16 GMT
Still feeling very frightened this morning and plagued with anxiety
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Post by monica on Jun 9, 2013 17:03:01 GMT
It's so tough for you ATM. Ask dr tomorrow but with antids it's very usual to feel worse before u get better and I imagine that would b the case even if u had been off them for a few months. Prob why you feel worse ATM.
The symptoms u r experiencing are NOT you in any shape or form. Someone explained it to me like the protective instinct going into overdrive where you even see danger from urself.
Hang on in there. All the best with dr tomorrow. Let us know how u get onx
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steph
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Post by steph on Jun 9, 2013 19:57:54 GMT
Thank you so much Monica.
Feeling like I'm going mad at the mo with it all, but I am determined to beat this again and will write a recovery story one day I hope!!
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