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Post by Scarlet on Feb 21, 2008 11:55:11 GMT
HI JM,
Sorry about your crappy night hun. You sound just like I was in the beginning, thought I was losing my marbles as well.... I didn't find this site back then, as mine started in late pregnancy and there was no-one I could identify with, so I remained in my own little world with my thoughts and fears and panics, and no support or reassurance from anyone who had suffered before and come through it. It was pure hell, in fact there were times I thought I'd died and had gone to hell, because you feel in limbo, existing in a world that carries on around you, yet you are not interacting with the world on the same level.
r u sure am guna get better from this?
yep I am sure you are going to recover, even if you don't believe it. It takes time and you have only been suffering PNI for 5 weeks, and by the sounds of it you are having some respite during late evenings, so you are in early recovery I'd say...not that you notice recovery at this stage sadly, but you are definitely gonna get there.
Keep on talking to us hun, we are here to support you and help you get through this, so hang in there.
Love and hugs
Scarlet xxxxx
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Post by Justme 31 on Feb 22, 2008 19:14:38 GMT
Still feeling shitty with terrible obssessive thoughts... but on a positive note went to shrink today had a meetin with him and cpn.. they say am prone to depression after pregnancy even though i dont have a baby and that the miscarriages have set it off. slept ok last night took some tranquilisers am a bit worried cos the shrink said can only take then for 10 days cos of the risk of addiction. have been put on cipralex u were on that wasnt u winegirl? how long did it take to make u feel a bit better and how do u know if its workin?
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Post by winegirl on Feb 22, 2008 21:57:37 GMT
HI JM
Yes thats what I am on. The first couple of weeks were a bit rough on it bit then the side effects started to wear off and then after about a month i noticed slight improvements. I have been on it for nearly 5 months now with 2 dose increases and still hav a bit of a way to go, but i am definatley 100 times better than I was! Cipralex is a generic form of Citalopram, its the same drug but supposed to be more tolerable and faster acting.
I wish you all the luck with it! Just hang in thre for a few weeks before you stsrt to feel better babes xx
WG x
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Post by justme 31 on Feb 24, 2008 17:22:56 GMT
feel like shit. the obssessive thoughts r terrible feel really anxious.. just feel in despair. this is constance at the mo i cant even sleep cos am waking up having panicky attacks in my sleep. woke up last night panicky was all disorietated was so scared now am scared to go to sleep.. how crackers is that?! cant do no housework or anything have no motivation its like i know it needs to b done but cant manage it. dont think ill ever b better and that thought is killin me.
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gilly
Senior Member
Posts: 163
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Post by gilly on Feb 24, 2008 20:20:58 GMT
hi
sorry i have not read all of your posts but i had a read of the first and the last few. i think i had your problem but the oposite way round i had a misscariage and like you know that i was more than "a bit down" i can say now that i never felt better and after having my LO the year after the PNI got so much worse so like you i think it came on the first pregnancy.
i am so sorry that today is so crap, the middle of the night is the absolute worst time i find the thoughts go mad and i am scared. i am afraid i can not think of any words of wisdom except that we are all here for you and keep talking.
hope you get some sleep tonight
Lots of love Gxxx
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Post by winegirl on Feb 24, 2008 22:07:09 GMT
Hi JM
I was exactly like that particularly when i had my first lot of meds in my system, couldnt believe i was being woken throughout the night with panic attacks, and spent the say laying on the sofa feeling terribly ill with the anxiety. Give the cipralex at least 3 weeks to kick in your system as it doesnt have a very long half life, it should get better then babes x
Always here for you x
WG x
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Post by justme 31 on Feb 25, 2008 15:52:14 GMT
HI again am back to ask a daft question about obsessional thoughts.. did anyone when they were having these thoughts have a sheer panic like cos when u thinkin the obsessional thoughts its like u picture it on in mind and its like what u thinkin has actually happened for a split second. dunno if that makes sense its hard to explain
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Post by justme 31 on Feb 25, 2008 17:03:01 GMT
am really worried am pyschotic how would i know if i was or would i not know?
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Post by Scarlet on Feb 25, 2008 17:23:12 GMT
JM,
I'm sure you are not psychotic hun, have you been reading anything that has made you believe you are? I spent 3 months on a depression ward and my room-mate was psychotic (and fab btw, and recovered now), and the things she told me were nothing like I was suffering, although I was anxious that I was psychotic, and schizophrenic and I convinced myself I was.
I was on ciprelex as well for 3 months and I felt strange for the first week or two and my anxiety increased. You have anxiety hun and it could be the meds which make you feel worse before you feel better.
Yes about the obsessional thoughts, I promise you that they will disappear with time. What are you doing during the day to distract yourself hun, are you working, do you stay at home all day?
I'll be back tomorrow.
Scarlet xxxx
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Post by justme 31 on Feb 25, 2008 17:58:46 GMT
it would b impossible for me to work at the moment scarlett am so panicky i cant even leave the house. am scared of my thoughts.. i think what if i go out and walk in the road or what if i hurt someone and lose control. am just stuck here on me own most of the day.. i wana go out but am too frightened cos of the thinkin. am also scared to b on my own cos am scared am losing control of my mind. i go out when my partner is with me cos it makes me feeel safer. u sure pni can b this bad it consumes my whole day its like i cant escape from my thoughts.
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Post by winegirl on Feb 26, 2008 8:38:34 GMT
Hi JM
I couldnt get out of the door either. Even going in the garden was too much for me! But now I am back to work, going here there and everywhere, and whilst i still have a way to go, it is a drastic improvement from how I was.
You will get there JM, I know when it consumes your day you can never see a way out, beacause i felt like that too, but I can promise you this isnt forever
WG x
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Post by Scarlet on Feb 26, 2008 12:04:44 GMT
Hi JM,
I stayed in 'bed' for around 10 weeks when I was at my worst, in hindsight this was not the right thing to do, as you get better 'quicker' if you push yourself a wee bit (of course with baby steps at first). Please do try and go out, even to the local newsagents or something for a walk each day, it doesn't matter if you are only functioning at 30% with intrusive thoughts continuously in your head. I didn't realise this in the beginning, I thought I would just stay in bed until I got better/or stay in the house, as I felt going out when I was feeling crap wouldn't benefit me, this is wrong, it does.. it's important to get a little semblence of normality back hun as soon as you can. Little steps can move mountains in time and by the 20th time of nipping around to the newsagent/local shops/park you won't panic, or have anxiety about it, and you build it up from there.
Am I right in thinking you have an older child, do you manage at all to go out with him/her? Also JM, you had PNI a while back which lasted a few years, so you've recovered once and you CAN and WILL do it again.
i think what if i go out and walk in the road or what if i hurt someone and lose control.
A huge part of this illness is the fear of loss of control, and you have to face these fears to get over it quicker. Try and go out and cross the road a few times during the day, even if it's the road outside your house, and think to yourself that these are just thoughts, nothing more. Of course the first few times you'll panic. I remember myself I feared EVERYTHING, walking across the road, dropping my baby, you name it, but I've done these things so many times now that they are like second nature to me....this is what you've got to get back, confidence in yourself. Did your doc. refer you to any counselling, I'm sure you would benefit from a confidence building course/anxiety management course/CBT.
We are here for you to help you get through this.
Scarlet xxxxx
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Post by Scarlet on Feb 27, 2008 9:18:42 GMT
How are you feeling today JM??
xxxxx
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Post by justme 31 on Feb 27, 2008 16:46:03 GMT
hi girls thanks for askin how i am. bit gutted today felt good last night for two hours was like my brain had cleared and i felt positive but everything returned with a venegance this morn i woke up panickin and cryin had a chat with a lovely lady from the apni she made me feel a bit more positive. feel spaced out and unreal at the mo that scares me.... keep feelin all shakey am concered am gunna get real bad side effects from the meds which is making me worry more. with the prozac the side effects started after 3 days so hopefully this new one will b ok as am on day 6 now. am so scared of the meds but know i have to take em if i wana get better. am just tryna distract myself from the thinkin and all that at the mo. anyone one here later for a chat... i always go into chatroom thinkin plz someone b there lol always is empty would b nice to talk to someone if poss. thanks guys xxx
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Post by winegirl on Feb 27, 2008 16:53:13 GMT
Hi JM
I was actually thinking the chat room wasnt working because it never let me in! I will try again though x
Honestly babes, every time you write i think about how much you sound like I did, and i am living proof that it does get better, even though its difficult to believe it sometimes!
I worried about the side effects from the meds too which is why i refused them for ages, unfortunately for me the prozac actually confirmed my fears as they just about sent me bad, but then i tried the cipralex and have never looked back! Just hang in there, it takes time and different meds work for different people.
Thinking of you x
WG xxx
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