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Post by justme 31 on Apr 1, 2008 11:20:06 GMT
the visit with the therapist went well... she kinda makes me feel that am sane!! in regards to the star signs well the vague deffo sounds like me lol. weak willed and easily led hmmm that must b the reason am with me other half !! imaginative and sensitive.. that deffo me.. u wana c what my ocd makes me think sometimes!!! am gunna tell me shrink next time i blame the star signs....... he probably would lock me up if i did!!! The normality i felt yesterday afternoon/night seems to have disappeared the thoughts, the not bein able to think straight and feelin panicky all seemed to have returned... dunno whats up have felt like shit since i got up this morn.....had a massive row with my partner last night so dunno if thats y i am feelin like this today.
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Post by cokey on Apr 1, 2008 11:45:04 GMT
Hi JM
Sorry you are having a shitty day. I was hoping you would ben having a good day. I suppose the fact we have good days at all is good news though.
You are not alone. I had a 'sane' day yesterday when the thoughts had become just background noise but today I woke, had a huge panic attack, then felt so low I couldn't cope with it and the thoughts are horrendous today. Its a day when I can believe the thoughts are true, do you know what I mean?
What are your thoughts today? The same ones about mental illness? My suicide obsession has come back. Its so scary.
This illness is the pits and no-one should underestimate the sheer strength and hard work that needs to be put in daily just to get through it.
Am thinking of you.
Cokey (C) xxx
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Post by Scarlet on Apr 1, 2008 11:56:57 GMT
Hi JM, Glad the meeting with your therapist went well. I think you're sense of humour is definitely shining through, which is a good sign..even if you don't see it yourself yet. Sorry about feeling crappy today, yep it goes like that hun, and you hardly notice any respite, but it's there and is gradually increasing. You're 'normality' will return honestly it will. Are you doing anything to distract yourself, what are you up to during the day? do you manage to get out and about?
Cokey, How you feeling? yesterday was a relief for you and you were able to distract yourself from your PNI, but today you are back in the same thinking pattern, but it will taper off.
This illness is the pits and no-one should underestimate the sheer strength and hard work that needs to be put in daily just to get through it.
My God it is hard work isn't it hun, we deserve a medal for it I can tell you. For those who say that we are weak, they really need to suffer a dose of it to see just how strong we really are (not that I'd wish it on anyone though)
Hugs to you both xxxx
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Post by justme 31 on Apr 1, 2008 12:54:31 GMT
the same thing kinda happened to me cokey i had a panic attack in the night... was woken up by my daughter and i woke up panickin... managed to get back to sleep after smokin about 3 cigs... not good i know!!! anyways got up this morn and was feelin so anxious and panicky.... i feel confused like i cant think straight and like am not here, like am kinda in a dream.. i think this has triggered the thoughts this morn cos when ii get all these weird feelin especially that dreamlike feelin my mind goes on overddrive and then the thoughts start about mental illness.... this morn have already thought im pyschotic, a pyschopath, that i have a brain tumour... oh and i went to the shop then thought i was gunna have a stroke or heart attack in there lol been a busy morn!! scarlett in regards to keepin meself distracted i try just to do like u said go out at least once a day even if its just down the road... went to shops today and am gunna go walk the dog in a min.... dunno about u guys but find the only thing that stops the thoughts is if i am really distracted by something. in regards to thinkin the thoughts r true i know what u mean cokey sometimes when there is no let up from them and they r there constantly it hard to rationalise with them. i find i go round in circles with the thoughts i try reasonin but it dont work so have taken to just ignorin them as best i can and that seems to help a lil bit. the suicide one is a difficult thought innit cokey i know when i have them i was so scared kept thinkin i am gunna lose control and just do it.... but just remmber hun they r thoughts.. silly background noise. will b on and off of here today cokey so if u need to talk just pm me... believe me i know just how distressin it feels.
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Post by cokey on Apr 1, 2008 13:22:20 GMT
Hi JM
You have been busy today!!! I thought I was pregnant this morning. My husband pointed out you need to have sex to get pregnant but its much easier to think we have something physical than emotional.
You have it so right, after the panic you feel like you are so off the planet and doing a simple task is so disjointed and I make so many mistakes, forget things etc.
I will be fine, I suppose we have basically the same fears, that we have some illness other than PNI with obsessive thoughts.
Hope your day is okay now.
Cokey xxx
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Post by justme31 on Apr 1, 2008 13:37:53 GMT
lol at the pregnant thing that made me laugh what ya hubby said. i agree that thinkin u have something physical is easier to deal with. i know the thoughts i have about havin a stroke scare me a lot less then the thoughts i have about bein mentally ill. am away to walk my dog and wait for my lovely ahem lil children to come in from school!! claire xx
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Post by Scarlet on Apr 1, 2008 14:57:21 GMT
I had that thought as well, being pregnant (without sex ), scared me half to death I can tell you LOL. In fact I bet we've had a lot of the same thoughts... I think all folks with anxiety have fears of being mad/psychotic/schizophrenic at some time or another. In the early stages, I think because you have a generalised anxiety, you are anxious over everything, even the little things like getting out of the house, crossing the road etc... then you become confused as to what the real fear is, because it seems to be anything and everything, and you can't rationalise it, but as time passes you will be able to find out what the underlying issue is (if you are having therapy, this will perhaps bring it out) and what causes the thoughts, and then you will be able to pinpoint specific stresses that trigger it. xxxx
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Post by winegirl on Apr 1, 2008 17:34:47 GMT
Hi Guys
Everything, and I mean everything you describe was me doen to a tee with PNI. I still suffer a bit with these symptoms on and off now, but only a bit.
I hate waking in a panic in the middle of the night. And like you JM, it would be something else that woke me up but then the panic would come and couldnt get back to sleep! It stinks.
And i know I sound like a broken record but... It Does Get Better!!
Hang in there ladies xx
WG x
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Post by justme31 on Apr 1, 2008 19:55:09 GMT
feel a bit better tonight a few shitty thoughts but am tryin to ignore em... i kinda know am gettin better well am better then i was a month ago lets put it that way!! cokey what u said to me earlier about findin walkin the dog hard.. u know this made me think about how far i have come in a month... this time a few weeks ago and its in one of my threads i was scared to leave the house... i suppose i dont see the little improvements cos i want it all gone right away! am gunna try to have an early..ish!! night as having these thoughts makes me brain feel tired... not just me brain the whole of me feels tired at the moment! hope u all having a good night xxx
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Post by justme31 on Apr 1, 2008 19:56:12 GMT
lol wg i sound like a broken record too am on here at least twice a day tellin everyone how mental i am!
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Post by winegirl on Apr 1, 2008 20:01:46 GMT
Hi JM
I felt like that about PNI too. I couldnt see I was getting better at all. It took my mental health worker to make me see the improvements i was making - from not going out the front door - to taking my daughter out, returning to work and getting married! It is such a slow process but you are definately on the right road now hun.
Hope you get that early night??
Luv WG x
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Post by Scarlet on Apr 2, 2008 7:48:23 GMT
u know this made me think about how far i have come in a month... this time a few weeks ago and its in one of my threads i was scared to leave the house
I remember you saying this, and crossing the road. Well done hun, just remember to push yourself a wee bit every day, perhaps go for a longer walk with the dog, or to the shops. Do something out of your comfort zone every day if you can and you will soon get your confidence back and become less fearful.
xxxx
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Post by justme31 on Apr 2, 2008 8:49:24 GMT
thats what am tryna do at the moment... just do something every day. am feelin a bit more positive today the thoughts deffo r not as bad at the mo and slept well last night.. in fact didnt wana get up. seem to have gone from one extreme to the other was havin trouble sleepin now i just feel like i could sleep all day... which aint a bad thing cos it passes the time when am feelin like crap!!
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Post by winegirl on Apr 2, 2008 8:58:57 GMT
Hi JM
Glad you had a good nights sleep! What you planning to do today?
WG x
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Post by cokey on Apr 2, 2008 9:03:23 GMT
Hi JM
I think we are in for a better day today with a better start. Am sipping camomile tea and am totally undisturbed by my panic. I seem to have a panic attack every morning now but I am getting used to it now and today I feel I can let it just pass. Had pins and needles in my hads today and actually found it amusing, like 'what else are you going to throw at me?'.
Have a good day JM.
Cokey xxx
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