can anyone offer advice?

[winegirl]

I am so desperate. I thought at one stage I might be getting better but I now feel like i am becoming worse. The past couple of days I have felt so sick and dizzy and I just can't bear it anymore.
My OH took the day off today and we were to take our little one to nursery. I had been feeling dizzy and a bit sick all morning and we parked up and got walking to the nursery to drop her off for half an hour and I had to run back to the car as I was sure I was gonna be sick. My OH dropped her off and came back to me where I was sat crying in the car. Decided I felt a bit better so walked back with him to pick her up. Got out of there and we started to go for a walk and I felt dreadful again. This constant feelng of dizziness and spaced out is one thing but I really am a mess when I feel sick. Have been back at home crying all afternoon about it. It has been 6 months now and I have to go back to work in 2 weeks and just don't see how?
Still feel crap now but have momentarily stopped the tears. While all this is going on I can't find any happiness in anything. I wish I could just be normal again but I can't seem to get out of this or even have a period of feelin not dizzy and sick.
What can I do to help make this better? Diazepam sometimes helps but not always and the dr doesn;t want to give me anti d's for this. What the hell am I supposed to do?
I would love to be able to just get on with life and even would be happy with just finding away to keep the physical symptoms under control. CBT doesn't seem to help and I can't take St Johns Wort as am on the pill.
I am so sorry to anyone reading for hearing how desperate I am, but please if anyone who has been through this has any suggestions I would be truly greatful for any advice.

[Veritee]

I know how desperate you are because i suffer from a fear of being sick too....

I think I have told you this, so if anything make me feel sick it is a nightmare for me too?

There is a name for it 'emetophobia' see:

www.gut-reaction.freeserve.co.uk/

and I have suffered from it all my life.

Most of the time I cope well despite this phobia and it never interferes with my life at all. But unfortunately if another factor comes into it - such as a bug and of course when I had PNI ( as often a symptom of PNI for many women can be nausea and dizziness) then I find it very hard to continue with my everyday life as like you I can not cope with going out when I am feeling sick and it makes me quite desperate if I do.

I can understand your GP not wanting to give you anti depressants if this is your only symptom as many anti depressants can make you nauseous too, at least at first....

But has your GP suggested an anti emetic ? Some anti emetics help dizziness as well as nausea and knowing you have taken an anti emetic and are therefore very unlikely to vomit might help you to get through your day?

I find Maxolon the best as it is very effective against vomiting and nausea, but it does not help dizziness....

Avomine -'Promethazine theoclate' does and this can be got on prescription but also bought from the chemist over the counter. I have used it in the past but it does make you sleepy sometimes see: www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/100000211.html

i.e

How does it work?

Promethazine theoclate belongs to a group of medicines called antihistamines. These medicines block histamine receptors which are found in various places in the body, including an area in the brain known as the vomiting centre. This area controls vomiting.

Promethazine blocks histamine receptors in the vomiting centre, thereby preventing nausea and vomiting.

Promethazine is also used to treat vertigo, however it is not fully understood how it works in this condition.

As this can be bought from a chemist you can use it in an emergency if you can not get to your doctor to get an anti nausiant/emetic on prescription

Your doctor can prescribe other anti emetics such as cinnarzine, cyclizine, domperidone

All I can say is what I did to cope with this - but please understand this only my experience and I am not qualified medically to advice - but I found the following helped:

___________________________________________

• have a permanent prescription for an anti nausiant or buy one 'over the counter ' just for 'emergancies' - I now use Maxolon, 'metoclopramide hydrochloride' www.tiscali.co.uk/lifestyle/healthfitness/health_advice/netdoctor/archive/100001589.html
  But in the past I used Avomine , bit is Ok for an emergancy but this makes me to sleepy to use and be able to function properly long term
  
  

  Maxolon is an anti emetic that prevents vomiting. If you take it it empties the gut 'downward' so it is almost impossible to actually vomit. I only take it when I am actually unwell and likely to be sick so a prescription fort 30 tablets lasts abut 6 months to a year and my doctor is happy to let me have this as long as I do not rely on them and only take them now and then
  I am not a medical professional so this is only my opinion but you can get metoclopramide hydrochloride, without a prescription in Paramax an dover the counter drug for migraine. www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/100002012.html

  
  but I think it is best to ask your GP if as you are scared of vomiting an anti emetic might help - some GPs will prescribe it some will not . But I have been taking them when I need to for over 30 years and it does no harm and saves a lot of fear and panic
  
  
• I have a hypnotherapy CD from: www.hypnotherapy-online.co.uk/emetophobia.htm which when my fear overwhelms me I find it helps
  
  
• I have had extensive psychotherapy and counseling to help me cope with my fear
  

Like you my main problem is not my fear of vomiting as until I had PNI it was not really a problem and I coped very well despite it . But PNI brought all my fears to the fore - as it does for everyone and of course I got nausea and dizziness with my PNI which did combined with my fear of vomiting made things impossible - and my fear of vomiting increased to the point I was scared to go out of the house sometimes.

What I would advise you as a sufferer of this and PNI is first make sure that you do not currently have a bug that it causing you to feel sick.

You very well could have as there are a lot going around and if currently you have a bug just do not be so hard on yourself for not being able to cope at the moment.

If you may have a bug - try to just accept that you have a bug that is making you feel sick and let OH take your little one to nursery and back and you just relax and maybe lie down and go to bed.

Maybe other mums with a bug could carry on as usual but you have PNI and a fear of vomiting so you really need to take care of yourself

If you do not think your escalation of your fear of vomiting is caused by a bug right now, go to your GP explain you suffer form Emetophobia and ask if you can have a prescription for an anti emetic like 'Maxilon' ( perhaps even if it is a bug go and see if you can get an anti emetic anyway as the fact you have an anti emetic van reassure you so that you know you have then in hand if you are feeling sick enough to vomit .

You could also seek counseling on this phobia specifically - but if your PNi goes I am sure your fear will reduce .

What treatment are you having for your PNI? As I understand it you are not on any anti depressants but if you are ....

Some anti depressants make you feel sick or vomit and if you suffer Emetophobia it is very important to tell your doctor so they either prescribe an anti emetic with your medication or put you on a Anti Depresent that never has this side effect
such as a tricylic anti depressant - as if you have Emetophobia any medication that make you feel sick will not help as feeling sick will counteract any mood lift the Anti Ds have

Well that is all I can think to say to you as suggestions for cooping with your current desperation due to your feeling sick and dizzy

I think you probably have a bug on top of your PNI - I am just getting over one that made me feel like you describe for quite a while.
Your PNI and your fear of vomiting make having a bug all so much worse than it mifght be for others.

Anyway this is all I can think of to suggest right now ...
Let me know if you have tried any of these things and if you do in the future if they help .

I am on the forum most of the evening

VeriteeXX

[winegirl]

Thank you so much for your reply Veritee - I just typed out an essay but log in went out before I posted so here I go again!

I am not on anti d's as the GP thinks this will only be a short term solution (Iwould be very happy with a short term solution at the moment!). I do have a prescription of diazepam that a previous GP gave me but I only take half a tablet in absolute emergencies as I do not like what I have heard about the addictive qualities of the drug.

Previously I was prescribed some anti vertigo and and anti sickness drugs, one being cinazirine (or however you spell it). They helped a little with the nausea but the spaced out, foggy headed diziness was still there.

You may have a point about having a bug as my Mum has had a sickness bug that lasted 3 days, but it is odd that I have felt my worse when trying to do something that involves being out of the house! I am being treated with some CBT techniques by my GP to help overcome anxiety, but to be honest it doesn't seem to be doing much.

I have had sessions with a hypnotherapist who sent me home with tapes to listen to but even that hasn't really helped.

I know I am making things worse by panicing about how I am going to get back to work in 2 weeks, and I know I should just take it day by day, but it is getting closer by the minute and I do not seem to be getting any better. It is no wonder that so many ladies suffer with deep depression and dark thoughts after suffering through all the physical symptoms.

Lots of people have said that going back to work may really help in the long run, but I am as yet not sure about that. I don't think I will even manage my first day back if I can barely make it to the corner shop most days!

Am back to see GP on Thursday so I will ask her about some of the anti sickness drugs you have mentioned. I also need to find something to lift the dizziness too as it is really wearing me out. Did you suffer with the dizziness too at the beginning of your illness? I have read your PNI story and it amazes me how you managed to work, look after a new baby who was in and out of hospital, look after like the whole of Noah's ark etc.. all on your own! I think I have acheived something if I walk to the post box!

I'm glad I am not alone with this mad fear! If one more person tells me that being sick is not the end of the world I might scream!

[Veritee]

I'm glad I am not alone with this mad fear! If one more person tells me that being sick is not the end of the world I might scream!

Well as someone who sufferers this too-
When at my worst being actually sick does actually feel like the end of the world .........

I have had times when if someone would give me the choice between dying or vomiting i would have chosen death!!!
This is not how i feel at all now but I have had this fear very badly in the past and at its worst when I had PNI

But you are not alone - actually when you start to talk about it you find quite a lot suffer it and it is a major reason why women fear pregnancy because of the 'morning ' sickness.

Anyway - I give you my 'tips' for coping with this, but as i said these are only my own solution. I do find a prescription for an anti nausiant that i know works, that I can take out with me all the time but only take when I am relay ill -does help as it is a reassurance .

However I will say that yes I did get dizziness as a BIG symptom with PNI and I did not find that any medication helped with this at all.

The only thing that worked for me with this at all was Avomine - BUT it made me so drowsy I felt could not drive and I had to, so i decided to cope with the dizziness I felt with PNI as long as I have something for the nausea this was OK for me .

as to how I coped with Noah's ark - god knows - I could not now at all - i will say I had 8 months pregnancy leave rather than the usually 6 months so I did not go back to work until Caja was 8 months .

I extended my leave - can you extend yours and if not go on the sick ? I am sure your doctor would sign you off for a few months more - have you tried this??

I got a new puppy last week and I am struggling with this . Yet when I had PNI I coped with baby goats, horses , ducks, chicks and my baby

All I can think is that i must have been manic all the time

But please consider extending your leave - maybe try to hour or so next week your boss has suggested ? but you do not have to! If you feel in any way this would be too much why not have another few months off ?

PNI is an illness just like a broken leg so it is perfectly reasonable to have a few more months off

Perhaps you can discuss this with your doctor when you go ?

VeriteeXX

[winegirl]

Thanks again Veritee

Unfortunately I have already extended my leave once up to 8 months andam not in a financial position to do it again. Also, I know taht my employers would hit the roof as they are not the most understanding bunch. I am the only woman in my department and these people don't beleive in any sort of illness!

I am dreading it as I truly believe I won't be able to cope. I keep waking up every mornin with a sort of panic attack going on that lasts for a good couple of hours which is also a nightmare on top of the dizziness and sickness. Perhaps if i take some of the diazepam when i get back to work for a while it may help?

I will try having an hour in there asa my boss has suggested next week, although my stomach is churning just at the thought of that! I know this thing will go but I am just wondering when!

[Veritee]

Hi Winegirl

I understand this situation as I was in it too and actually because of the financial situation and due to fear of losign my job and career - I went back to work when I had PNI .

However in retrospect I do not think that this was necessarily the right thing to do - even though I did in fact just cope at work,

But being ill with PNI did cause problems and affected my career as I was not performing at my best and got very distressed when ill and at work and suffered from paranoia and oversensitivity at times

- i.e I would think colleges were deliberately undermining me when in fact nothing had changed as this was what always happened at work - it was very competative even though I worked in the 'caring proferssions'

I had become over sensitive for the workplace and I would also take everything very personally when actually it was not always intended this way - it was just how the world of work is sometimes...i.e competative and uncaring

and sometimes I would feel very unwell at work and have panic attacks which I had to hide - I do nto think I hid this very well always and this affected the respect others had for me !


Anyway I am not saying it will be like this for you as this is up to you to decide - but have you fully explored what benefits you will get if you sign off sick for the long term?

I do not know how much you earn but while I did not have time off when I had PNI, several years later in 2003 I had a serious accident and successfully claimed both incapacity benefit and Disability Living Allowance and found it was enough to manage on.

While i found it did not fully replace my income as it was before - it did mean that we were not as a family in dire straights because I could not work.

Have you looked into Incapacity Benefit and Disability Living Allowance?

You should get Incapacity benefit at some level because you have worked and paid stamps and many have found that PNI qualifies them for temporary DLA for a year or too .....
and if you have problems with going out and driving a car etc you may get the higher rate mobility allowance?


Anyway I just wanted to offer you an alternative to explore - because if you go back to work and can not cope you may make yourself worse ..

............on the other hand many find work helps as it is an escape and it can help your self worth as you are using your skills

- to a degree this was how I found it as I had fears about looking after my baby and when I was at work she was looked after by professional carers so I had a break form caring for my baby without feeling guilty that I was not doing it myself .... and also work made me feel that i had skills that were not affected by my PNI.

So there were benefits to me for going back to work with PNI as well as a downside.

I think it has to be an individual choice ...

I just wanted to say that there is an alternative - that with the level of disability you are suffering and your panic attacks when out, you do qualify for benefits and it might be worth looking into this?

veriteeXX

[winegirl]

Thanks Veritee

I don't think incapacity benefit would nearly cover the morgatge, car paymets, utility bills etc... I currently earn 26k pa and that will just cover everything including my little girl's nursery food etc along with OH's salary. We only have a 2 bed terrace but OH has lots of other stuff to pay too so it's not an option I'm afraid.

We did make it out for a walk today with OH who has taken day off and I took half a diazepam in the morning. Felt a bit sick on and off but it wasn't too horrendous. OH is off till xmas now and think he has plans to get me out of the house everyday so perhaps this will halp my recovery ready for my return to work? Defibately gonna ask GP on thursday for anti sickness pill and to see if I can have some more diazepam to halp those first weeks back at work. Feeling a bit dizzy at the mo but the diazepam gives me a bit of an `i don't care' sot of attitude about it!

Could this be the beginning of recovery? Or is that too optimistic after 6 months? Not sure how long these things normally go on for?

Winegirl x

[francoise]

have you tried oh i hope this is the right pill im gonna say here , i have hundreds but here goes , betahistines , for the dizziness , they worked fantastic for me ,

my dizziness was so bad i had to crawl upstairs , they thought it was my eyes causing it coz of balance but they were tested privatley , what a waste of money that was , anyway yeah i will check it was those pills i mentioned hun ,


francoise xxxx

[winegirl]

Thanks francoise

Yes i was originally on that drugfor the vertigo but as it is more of a spaced out feeling now as opposed to room spinning, my Gp has decided not to prescribe me anymore. Can you remember how long you suffered with this before? I have been suffering since my little one was about 6 weeks (6 months ago) and I wonder whether it is getting worse as opposed to better some days!

Thanks again for your help

Winegirl x

[francoise]

hi winegirl

yeah i do remember funny enough , well the first time i got it was for over three months and then it went away but it came back about six months later for a shorter time and then a few months after that but i dont know whether it was me getting used to it or what but it seemed to get easier to handle , have it since melody was born ten weeks ago , standing in theb garden actually about ten minutes ago swaying coz i couldnt stnad still having a ciggy and really not being that bothered about it anymore , mind you i am having a bad week in other ways so that could be it , i do get a spaced out feeling to but they can be quite scary cant they , when im on diazepam though i like that feeling which is kind of spaced out but ii think thats because i know its meant to make you feel like that , anyway yes it does go and its only coz ive had another baby mines back again , hope ures goes babe so you can feel better in yourself


francoise xxxx

[francoise]

god sorry bout all the spelling mistakes , it looks like a jumbled mess doesnt it , im not drunk honest


fran xx

[winegirl]

Thank you so much fran. I think I am starting to deal with it now a bit better and its just the nausea and panic things that I am struggling more with. Hence I will also be in the garden having a ciggy in a minute too! (not sure that will really help the dizziness - but hey ho). I am so glad you have reassured me that this damn thing will go, much more of it and I think I will crack up!

Sorry to hear you are suffering with it again. Must be double hard having two little ones! Thank you again very much for your advice and support - means alot.
Winegirl x