Screaming at night

[stevensmummy]

Hi,

Can anyone give me any advice. My 2yr old is having terrible dreams, he wakes up screaming 2-3 times a night. He falls asleep again quickly but it makes him tired the next day. He also sleep walks and talks about the strangest things in the night, biscuits being one of them. But he also goes on about monsters - I cant even believe he knows what a monster is!

Any help or advice would be much appreciated I'm starting to get ratty with lack of sleep!

Sarah x

[cazfletcher]

cavans going through the same thing! im hoping its a stage coz i had an email the other day from pampers and it said that this is when their imagination really takes off. simple stuff like leaving a light on, music etc helps but also ive been taking cavan round the room, letting him see for himself there are no monsters and nowhere for one to hide (you do have to play along, sorry). this puts him in control of the situation. then he climbs into bed, and i sometimes have to stroke his nose (this helps the sleepy eyelids to drop) and talk to him. basically, from one sleep deprived mum to another, you do whatever it takes to get them to sleep. what does he say about these biscuits-do you think he could be hungry, or is it just random? i had to start giving cavan a bedtime snack about half an hour before bedtime. as for the monsters, is there anything thats changed for him lately or anything he may be unsure of? sorry if this wasnt much help

[winegirl]

My little one is only 16 months and not going through this yet, but I do remember a girl I used to look after doing this at about 2 and half years old. Crying out strange things and getting really upset in the night, so I think it is probably just a stage.

Also, you might want to watch what you give him to eat before he goes to bed, apparantley when I was a kid my mum swears she couldnt give me cheese too close to bedtime as I would sleep walk! Bizzarre!

Hope you get some more sleep soon x

Winegirl x

[Scarlet]

It is a stage Sarah,
My 10 year old used to have night terrors and often used to wake up screaming. I used to massage him with esential oils at bedtime and left on a tiny light. Try a nice warm bath before bed with some of that Johnsons lavender night time baby bath.

Hugs
Scarlet
X

[stevensmummy]

Hi girls

Thanks for all the replies, just managed to get him off to sleep. These herbs the doc gave me do help I think but its getting him to sleep lately thats the prob. I swear he hates me! It really puts a downer on you, just when I was beginning to feel better. Theres alway a downfall isnt there!

Hope it gets better soon, thanks for the advice, I'll just pray he gets over it sooner rather than later!

Sarah x

[cazfletcher]

stick with it m8, here for you x

[stevensmummy]

Thanks hun, i'll have grey hair by the time we're over it!

Has anyone tried this supernanny technique of puttin them back to thier bed when you try to get them to sleep. You know the whole 2 hour tantrum thing, keep putting him thro till he gets the hint. They say it takes about a week. But god does anyone have tht patience. i did try it one night but I couldnt even last 20 mins never mind 2 hrs for a week. Am I just a wimp with no will power? has anyone ekse done it and have had it work? I keep thinking its cruel

[cazfletcher]

it takes a lot of patience m8, but it works. last night cavan wouldnt settle in bed, so i ended up in the bath with the door locked. he was kicking it and i was crying and deep breathing, and then just when i was about to cave and go in to him, he went quiet and i heard him get into bed. anyway what im trying to say is, you need to show him whos boss. are you prepared to give in to a child just for the sake of a quiet life? you give in now and they will walk over you for everything, they will learn that the louder they cry, the quicker mummy comes running. its kinder to you both in the long run to stick to boundaries. you wait til that first night you can watch YOUR program on YOUR tv, read your book without being climbed over. these tantrums only work as long as you give in to them. mummies a nicer person when shes had 9 hours sleep right? just remember, if you get upset and you feel you are losing control of the situation, walk away and try again when you get yourself together. we will be here for you coz weve all been there.

[stevensmummy]

Hi Caz

You're right i know you are but its just so hard. I'm really trying to be the heartless hard mother but he is just so strong willed. We are actually in the middel of a tantrum right now. Am I right in just ignoring it? What I do is tell him off and stick to my grounds. I try to explain why I'm saying no or what he done wrong then stick to it. I ignore him until he does something else wrong, such as hitting me or throwing something, then I tell him off again. Sooner or later he gives in asks for his dummy and bear and goes off. Then, I have to admit, he generally appologises and I get a cuddle. Am I doing the right thing?

Bed time last night was better. I did as you said and stood my ground. He got one story and I stopped at ONE. He cried for more but I said that i had to see to stuart and I had to tidy up from tea time so I didnt have time for any more. He did choose possibly the worst and longest one but nevermind. I said that daddy could stay with him and they could have a cuddle but it was bed time so get in the bed. I have been letting one of us stay as he has been afraid latelyand he seems to cry out of a tantrum and sulking rather than hysterical and shaking as i think he really is scared. Daddy just lies in the bed, and I had to go back and take away whatever he had gotten to play with and say no, bedtime, and put him back down. It did work and surprisingly it didnt take long as I expected. About 40 mins from start to finnish. Did I do right? And am I suposed to settle him again everytime I go back in the room? Or do I just put him down kicking and screaming and and exit quickly?

I really think i'm going to be hard, I have to hes beginning to get out of control!

Thanks for the support

Sarah x

[sare]

Hi Sarah,

I'm sorry to say that I have only just seen this thread so apologies

I went through this with my little girl and I know just how hard it is. She was never a good sleeper, right from birth, so I know how you are feeling.

The Supernanny technique is to do your usual bedtime routine and say goodnight. The first time you go back in say 'bedtime darling' and put them back in bed, the next time just say 'bedtime' then any further visits don't say anything, just put them back in bed. It can take a long time (7 hours in my daughter's case!) but they do start to get the message eventually. Is there anyone who can share this with you and support you? It is especially hard when you are on your own, my OH works shifts and there were nights when I was alone and doing this. My little lady is nearly 3 now and if she doesn't go straight to sleep she sings to herself until she drops off.

Ultimately, children have to learn who is boss and he is at the age when he is testing you and the boundaries.

As for the tantrums, some children can just be left, others need help to come out of it, as my own daughter does. If she went into tantrum I would leave her, and the room, for a few minutes then I would return give her a quick cuddle, explain her behaviour was not acceptable and why and then distract her with something else. These days we use the naughty chair and it gets it all over with quickly, but if it is a tantrum over something then we still have to coax her out of it.

Can't really help with the monsters thing but I think I would do what Caz suggests and show him that there are no monsters. My LO woke up the other night dreaming about flies and spiders so we sat her up and got her to open her eyes and see that there were none. She was satisfied and went back to sleep

HOpe it gets easier for you soon hun, thinking of you

Sare
xx

[stevensmummy]

Hi Sare

Thanks for the reply. I have discovered that he really is afraid of something, unsure of what but he is really scared. He was panicing over nothing. He stayed with mum last night, on one of his 'sleepovers' he usually loves them, its a treat and he is much better behaved and sleeps such alot better. Took mum 2 hrs and when he heard someone delivering something thro the letter box, they were talking as they did it, mum said he went into a blind panic and was actually shaking.

I just dont know how to deal with this. I have left the light on and reassured him of no monsters etc and he still seems to be afraid. We got this calming stuff from the doc a homeopathic thing, and he does now sleep most of the night undisturbed, still up at about 6 but thats ok I can deal with that if I have had a decent sleep. Its just the getting to sleep thats the problem. Mum suggested giving the tablets b4 bed when we do the whole winding down routine. Which I might try 2nite.

As for the supernanny technique I think it might be worth putting that aside just now as I have never had a problem with sleeping and now he seems afraid, i think maybe I should be reassuring rather than leaving to scream. I still need to be harder but maybe not to the degree of leaving his screaming and scared.

what do you think?

Thanks everyone for the advice

Sarah x

[winegirl]

Hi sarah

I am all up for the supernanny routine, but if he is genuinely frightened of something then I wouldnt leave him.

Any way of coaxing out of him what he is frightened of? Has anything major happened to him recently?

I hope you can get it sorted soon x

Winegirl x

[sare]

Hi Sarah,

I really feel for you all, it must be awful for all concerned and distressing.

Is there any way he could tell you what he is frightened of? Could you call your HV and ask their advice? This must be quite a common problem so one I'm sure they've heard loads of times.

Totally behind you in trying to reassure him.

Hope tonight was a bit easier for you both.

Thinking of you,
Sare
xx

[stevensmummy]

Hi Sare and winegirl

Update: I spoke to the hv and she doesnt suggest the suppernanny technique she says there is evidence for that making it worse. Its apparently only for little shits who wont got to bed not actually scared kids.

Last nite was a cheat we had to go for shopping, I cant drive due to the epilepsy so had to wait till oh came home and that wasnt till 8, so he slept in the car. It was a welcome relief, but generally as my oh said its has been slightly better. Now takes about 1/2 hour rather than over an hour. So progress. He still mentions monsters etc but i keep saying its ok there are no such thing and showing him where he thought they were and that its ok.

Last few nights hes been waking in the night more often. We live in a farm cottage, no central heating so I wonder if hes cold as its been pretty bitter the last few nights. And once hes awake he's hell to go back to sleep. think I might put on the electric heater see if that helps.

Wish me luck lol

xx

[winegirl]

Good luck Sarah! I hope you manage to crack it with him tonight x

Winegirl x