collette
Senior Member
Jacob will be a year on the 1st September!!
Posts: 248
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Post by collette on Aug 3, 2005 9:24:22 GMT
Hi there This is for my use to help me track how I am doing with recovering from PNI. I am doing this because last week I had an awful week when I felt very down and negative and no confidence. Yet the week before that I was superconfident and feeling great.
So because I feel my moods are still quite changeable I am unsure if this is just normal for me? or if this is still me recovering from PNI?
I think if I maybe keep a record of each day or week on this forum in this section it may help me when I come to see the GP and the CPN as I always forget things when talking to them.
Anyway just to let folk know what this is about for me.
love collette xxx
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Post by yoyo on Aug 3, 2005 9:26:44 GMT
Good idea! I know what you mean when you forget to tell CPN things - if I'm on a fairly good day when I meet up with my CPN I say things ahve been ok really when I';ve probably had some really lousy days/hours so that doesn't really help.
It sounds like there's still a touch of PNI there - is it due to your monthly cycle at all? A lot of women when nearly recovered tend to suffer badly in the week leading up to periods - that's how I am at present.
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collette
Senior Member
Jacob will be a year on the 1st September!!
Posts: 248
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Post by collette on Aug 3, 2005 9:28:52 GMT
hi there I think you are right and it could be to do with my mthly cycle which is rubbish cause you always know that it wil be coming up then!
however, this month i ran my pills together as i was away for the weekend so not sure.
thanks for the support love collette x
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Post by yoyo on Aug 3, 2005 18:05:51 GMT
It's horrid isn't it!! All this yo-yoing about. Wouldn't it be great to have good days and know that there are no blips to come. Just a case of riding it out.
You're doing great, I'm sure Jacob loves you lots and feels you're the best mummy in the world.
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collette
Senior Member
Jacob will be a year on the 1st September!!
Posts: 248
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Post by collette on Aug 3, 2005 18:56:04 GMT
Thanks Yoyo
Today has not been a very good day at all. I have been easily frustrated by Jacob. He is crawling all over the place now and is into everything. I have to keep removing him from places he shouldn't be and he gets so mad when I do this. We went to the supermarket today as well and he kept trying to grab stuff off shelves etc and got mad when i moved away, i had given him a toy and things to carry for me in the trolley but he is just soo stroppy.
Today i made a total mess of shepherds pie for tea because i was trying to run after him at the same time.
I just feel worn out and battered and bruised, I have a cough at the moment and just want to go to bed and not get up. I know I am feeling rough because of my cough and cold but I have jsut been so frustrated and negative today as well. Feeling like a crap mum with him cause I don't sit and play with him one to one all the time.
love collette xxxx
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collette
Senior Member
Jacob will be a year on the 1st September!!
Posts: 248
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Post by collette on Aug 7, 2005 19:05:08 GMT
the weekend has been mostly good been for a picnic yesterday and had a bbq today and went to soft play with hubby and jacob.
i am still feeling really unmotivated about work and also my body shop home party thing just don't think my brain can cope with any more stuff at the moment.
am resigned to fact that i will be back at work soon but with that to do and the baby and housework i can't forsee myself being able to fit much else in. i am knackered as it is so goodness knows what i will be like when i return to work.
collette xxx
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Post by Veritee on Aug 11, 2005 8:26:18 GMT
Dear Collette
I hope you do not mind my commenting in your diary??
Re going back to work.
You may be pleasantly surprised about how you feel when you go back to work. I advised against it when you were first diagnosed and first on medication, to give yourself time and space to come to terms with the fact you were suffering PNi and to let the medication start to work -
However you have settled a lot from what you say although as most of us do when recovering you go up and down and have bad days and their is a possibility that you will not find work as tiring as it may seem it would be now.
Yes gong back to work seems before you do it that it will be inevitably exhausting ie trying to fit the housework, baby care round it, however many have found that going back to work leads to feeling less tired and more able to cope, rather than just adding to your stress.
I suppose it depends on the job and whether you enjoy it - but going back to work for me and many others was a positive thing at the time,
I went back when caja was 8 months having had extended maternity leave due to PNI - I was no where near recovered from PNI and indeed was ill for nearly 5 years. But by that time I had come to terms with having PNI and found some ways of dealing with it and thought I would try going back to see if being out of the house and doing something other than baby care and housework helped.
I found it did enormously! and many on here have found working has helped. I can not speak for others but this is how it was for me.
It was exhausting in that I had to see to my animals ie smallholding with horses, chickens, goats, etc at the crack of dawn on work days ( I worked 2 1/2 days a week and then get Caja ready and drop her off at a nursery 8 miles away near work and I still had all the house to look after - but it did help me to go to work.
It introduced a structure in my life and I then found I could fit things in better as I was more organized, it gave me a break from looking after a baby and of course when I was at work she was being cared for by someone else and even though I had to work at that time I found it a rest in that she was well looked after and I could do adult things with adults, talk to others and feel valued as a person and an employee and of course I was earning money which of course helped my self esteem etc.
So while being at work did have its problems for me ( more to do with a bulling line manager who thought women with PNI were weak) On the whole for the first 2 years after Cajas birth it was actually very helpful to me and I found I was actually less tired than when I had been at home!
Anyway I know that my experience may not be yours - but you could find going back a positive step and if it is too much for you and you can not cope you can always take more sick leave and explain you are not ready - I know some women who had several false starts in going back and on the whole employers have been surprisingly accepting of this.
Anyway - when are you going back?
Let us know how it goes
Veritee
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collette
Senior Member
Jacob will be a year on the 1st September!!
Posts: 248
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Post by collette on Aug 11, 2005 19:03:37 GMT
hiya and thanks for the reply veritee
well my decision is made and I am returning 2 days a week to work the first week in September. It will be a phased return and provided the GP agrees this is ok then all will go ahead.
i amnot over the moon about it but then who is when it comes to work, but i feel ok about it and ready i think! i will be stopping the home parties though as think it m ay be too much.
so i will just enjoy jacob's birthday 1st september then return to work. things have been going kind of ok the last few days but now have hubby problem i thinkhe is getting v stressed about work and getting v short with me and jacob which is annoying but that is another story i suppose.
thanks love collette xxxxx
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Post by cheshire on Aug 18, 2005 7:55:15 GMT
Collette,
I'm having a phased return too starting with 2 days a week. And my babe is the same age as yours. Hope it all goes well, my return starts in December. I have mixed feelings but went back with my first, and as Veritee mentions, sometimes I was less tired going to work than staying at home - strange!
Hopefulx
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collette
Senior Member
Jacob will be a year on the 1st September!!
Posts: 248
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Post by collette on Aug 18, 2005 18:58:55 GMT
hiya hopeful
good to hear from you. i will let u know how my phased return goes. i feel so different now to when i was in the thick of things and see this as a positive thing sohere is hoping it all goes well.
i will keep u posted on how it goes and how i cope etc and you can let me knowhow u go.
how u doing anyway? love collette xxxxx
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Post by cheshire on Aug 18, 2005 19:16:19 GMT
Hi Collette
I'm doing fine thanks. That would be great if you could do that. It's a bit daunting, but I feel OK about about going back so worth I try I think.
Good luck Hopefulx
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collette
Senior Member
Jacob will be a year on the 1st September!!
Posts: 248
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Post by collette on Aug 27, 2005 18:08:13 GMT
i have been doing really well for a good while now and spoke to work last week who were saying if i wanted i could work evenings only 3 a week and that would mean hubby could watch baby and make my return to work easier they said they would do anything possible to support me back to work and whatever suits me.
so there i was thinking all was going to be ok, then mgr phoned yesterday and i asked more about doing evenings and she said she now could only agree this for 8 weeks and this would be reviewed, i could be changed to day shifts then or whatever suits them but she would do her best for me!! so they have changed their tune again. this will not be good for me as i need stability at the mo and something that will suit jacob for childcare too, i can't keep chopping and changing when he gets looked after etc.
so now i need to start looking for a new job and go back to my current one for as little time as poss i think, i can see no other way. feel v trapped at the mo again v annoying.
love collette xxxx
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