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Post by yoyo on Sept 26, 2005 11:12:46 GMT
Ok here's the beginning of a diary for me... no idea if this'll help but I guess it's worth a shot. I seem to be a bit wobbly at the moment. Maybe this'll help me to look at things in perspective.
Last night - ended up really angry, day was frustrating, felt low and no energy and little one had diarrhorrea (or however it's spelt) all day so was hard work. I just sat around and let hubby get on with it (he didn't complain but it made me feel rubbish for not doing stuff - I know it's no prob so I should just accept the help gracefully - not my forte!). By the evening I was like a caged animal, pacing round the front room. Hubby was busy with his brothers job application (why can't he do it himself I ask myself?!) so walked to a friends in the pitch black (not a sensible idea in retrospect) and had a bottle of wine with her and her hubby, not drunk but more relaxed when I came home.
Last night = weird very vivid dreams, hard to seperate dreams from reality. Bizarre. In my dream I had a baby (not current one, didn't recognise this one) and I just kept shaking and shaking him/her. Didn't kill her just damaged her. Woke up sweating about it all and panicky, took a while for me to settle to sleep again. Didn't sleep properly after that, just dozed now and then.
This morning - Slow start but am up and about, don't feel like doing too much and little one still slightly sicky/squitty so can't be doing much anyways. Anger still there but subsiding, need to go for a run me thinks!!
Will checdk in later
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Post by cheshire on Sept 26, 2005 13:21:06 GMT
Hi YoYo, Sorry you had a rough evening. It's pity I couldn't have joined you for that glass of wine as my 13 month old son who is teething and has a bad tummy, has decided that now is the time for the terrible twos to start in a big way. My husband decided he had oh so much 'work ' to do all of a sudden and I was already feeling tired!! Anyway -what I am trying to say as this is your thread is - I was literally pacing the baords as well until about 10pm (there was no point sitting down as I only had to get back up again within the next few minutes) so I can honestly empathise with all you are saying here. As you know, I have had strange 'is it reality' sleeping and waking events. I also once 'saw' my baby under the duvet, seemingly no longer alive and this lasted about 10 seconds (probably less) when I was in between sleeping and waking. This might not be the same thing, but it's all horrible isn't it. Certainly waking in a panic is my forte - most unpleasant isn't it? But hopefully you'll feel better today - catch you later. Love, Hopefulxx
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Post by yoyo on Sept 26, 2005 14:45:52 GMT
Babies?!?! Who'd have em! LOL My little one has just been the perfect angel for his gran - sat on her kknee for ages just enjoying a cuddle then not long after she's gone is sat screaming at top of voice for no reason at all and won't be quiet!! LOL I think he saves it all up for me sometimes!!
The anger is going, that's good. Am beginning to pick up emotionally - just v tired.
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Post by yoyo on Sept 27, 2005 12:36:41 GMT
Had a weird night again. Slept really deeply and didn't wake (went to bed 9pm up at 7) but when I woke my head was buzzing - I'd had loads of dreams, really vivid, bizare, almost nightmareish so didn't feel rested at all. NOticed inside of my mouth is all chewed so must've been less asleep than I felt - if that makes sense. Felt shattered when got up this morning - a real drag.
Took Peter to work then dropped Jake at mum's while I went for my acupuncture.
Chinese doc says that the dreams/sleep issue is all related to my blood loss, says that the blood isn't of enough density (quality) at the moment. Back pain too proves this as kidneys and liver still recovering from damage of blood loss.
Now I feel much more energetic but am bit muzzy headed - think its lack of proper restful sleep. Oh well. Mood has picked up and anger seems to have disappeared. Thank good ness.
Am managing pretty well as this days gone on. Jake is much better too so that helps things along. Will report back later.
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Post by bam02 on Sept 27, 2005 12:48:24 GMT
Do you find the acupunture helps - I have sinusitus that has been a total bain of my life and the ENT people discharged me (ironic word for nose doctors) ages ago after an operation. But it gets no better and zillion antibiotics. Thought chinese medicine worth a try - nothing to loose really except money. If its expensive.
I can have bizaire dreams too. You really don't feel rested do you?
See you later
A-M
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Post by yoyo on Sept 27, 2005 13:12:53 GMT
A-M - I find acupuncture really works for me. I think it's one of those things either works well or not at all for you. Ooo sinusitis is horrid - uased to get it really bad, born with underdevloped sinus' which was only discovered when I was 14 (mum used to always tell me off for eating with my mouth open but I couldn't breathe if I didn't!) - I too had the nasty op - lasted for around 3 years and now I'm back to getting it every few months. I'd say give Chinese medicine a go - like you say there's not much to lose. Here the consultaion including a treatment is £42 then it's £29 each treatment. They reckon if there's no improvement by 5 sessions that it'll not work for you so it's not too much to risk I guess.
The dream thing is really frustrating - you might as well not have bothered shutting your eyes eh?!
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Post by yoyo on Sept 28, 2005 9:01:17 GMT
Well, I've no idea what's going on! Must be going through a real 'blip'! Mentally I feel pretty good but physcially at the moment I'm rubbish!
Last night - well evening, I have been experiencing really severe joint pains in both hips, knees, ankles and all down my shins. Really hurt to move and felt so heavy. My muscles seemed to give way as even holding thebook I was trying to read seemed to be hard work. Typing this is hard work too - I can't work it out. I slept much better though, no weird dreams or things. I still feel really tired but not so flat. I wouldn't say I felt depressed today - just a bit lethargic.
The joint pains this morning are easing a little but I am so aware of every bone in my body. I've also got a really tight stomch cramp which won't shif even with a hot water bottle or anything. Hope this starts improving by tomorrow.
Oh well, hope you are having a better day.
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Post by yoyo on Sept 28, 2005 15:29:47 GMT
Well after thinking about things an dnoticing I'm getting dizzy when I get up and sit down I've booked self in for full blood test - I remember feeling very much like I do now whilst I was aneamic after Jake's birth. I though I'd rule out the options. Failing that i'm sure it;s just good old PNI. I've not liked myself today, I've been snappy and grumpy (think coz I feel manky) and can't seem to help myself. Maybe I'm finally building up to a period after all this time (it's been 3 cycles now) who knows? ! Oh well, will see what tonight brings.
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Post by cheshire on Sept 28, 2005 15:37:32 GMT
Hi YoYo
Sorry you feel bad. Could be a period hey? My first one was only a little while back and I ended up sobbing the night before. I really could hardly help it. But felt fineish when I actually came on. Contemplating being male next time! Love, Hopefulx
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Post by Veritee on Sept 28, 2005 18:34:04 GMT
Well what you describe does sound like a bug I had last week actually and only just getting over.
I suppose only time will tell if it is a bug or something else or PNI - but you have done the right thing to book in for a blood test!
( funny you should mention the sinus as I had a damaged nose/sinus from an accident when I was 15 and when I had PNI had a horrible op which fixed them - but with this bug I have had sinus pain all the time and still have it for the first time since PNI!!!!
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Post by yoyo on Sept 29, 2005 9:10:26 GMT
Glad you metioned that Veritee - a relative of my hubby was saying how he'd had a weird simlar bug thing with joint aches and pins needles and really fatugued. Could be that as today I'm no where near as bad. Think I'll keep the blood test anyways as I'm curious to see if things have stayed same since the last one.
Sinusitis is horrid isn't it! THe only way I can describe it is that I feel like I have pillow stuffed inside my head or that theres a little guy with a hammer banging on my head from the inside. Hope it clears for you Veritee, the doc up here says if I get another bout of it this year I'm to have the op again (fortuantely there are 4 drs at my practice so that gives me a few to work my way round before having to see him again!!) don't really want ot have the op unless obsolutely essential.
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Post by yoyo on Sept 29, 2005 9:14:08 GMT
LOL yeah - I'm gonna come back as a male - no actually maybe not, I'd have to live with someone like me!!
Well, what a weird day yesterday was - Jake was crying uncontrolably for aroun3 hours near enough solid, the only way he'd be quiet was if I walked with him round and round in the bathroom (weird eh?) this left me feeling completely drained and tearful - just felt I was falling to pices again. Had a good old sob on my hubby in bed last night and today feel much better for it. Slept well. Getting up was very difficult (but not like is' been the last couple of days) and I'm still not dressed or showered but Jake is due his nap in a bit so I'll fix that then. So far I'm plodding but I feel the day will imrpove for me. Will see ...
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Post by cheshire on Sept 29, 2005 10:21:49 GMT
Hey LOL that's a good point. I find it hard when the cry uncontrollably - when my son does it I sometimes I have to put him down as he is so big and strong (13 month old baby in clothes for 3-4yrs!! ) and then he just kicks and screams.. ..it's funny how walking up and down the stairs can help him when he's like that..but that gets very tiring after about 2 gos.!!!!
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Post by yoyo on Sept 30, 2005 18:34:01 GMT
Well, Thursday got better thank goodness! By the evening I was quite relaxed.
This morning I didn't find getting up so difficult and had a really good day, I was cracking jokes and one liners, being sarcastic etc and totally me for around 3 or 4 hours and feeling pretty good for the rest of the time. Damn shame it had to be whilst I was at work eh?!
Not thinking too far ahead, just enjoying things whilst they are good. Going to get a CHinese in now (Jake asleep in bed) and have a glass of wine & a cuddle with hubby on setee :-)
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Post by yoyo on Oct 1, 2005 14:27:16 GMT
Well I had a lovely evening ;-) and a good nights sleep. This morning was aslow start but got better as morning went on, not quite as good as I've been the last day or so but not too bad. Then this arvo I've had really nasty stomach cramps - to the point of laying on the floor in agony for a good 15 minutes. Still feel 'knotted' but it's bearable. Think I'll have to mentino that to the doc on tues (when I fess up that I've taken self of the tablets) as i've missed 4 cycles so something's not working right somewhere. Oh well.
In my head aI feel ok, keep having thoughts racing off about silly things but I can let them go and get them under control when I need to.
Hope you are ok today.
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