natalie1985
Senior Member
Mum of Peter ~ Born 15th Dec 2004
Posts: 470
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Post by natalie1985 on Dec 25, 2005 10:57:08 GMT
Hey Moe Wishing you and your family a gorgeous christmas!!! Remember you will never be alone with us bunch of ladies here to always listen Take care! Love and light, Natalie xxx
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Post by cheshire on Dec 25, 2005 14:58:43 GMT
Hi Moe
I was thinking about you - in fact I was talking about you- last night to my sister in law who is a senior CPN (think she's head of services now actually). Anyway, she thinks you sound amazing. She has mild PNI twice and then severely with her third.
Hope your Christmas is peaceful and full of love.
Hopefulxx
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moe
Full member
I have seven children, my youngest is two and a half, I have suffered from pnd after every birth.
Posts: 64
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Post by moe on Jan 8, 2006 23:27:26 GMT
Happy New year everyone. We have been away for a few days, it was so good to have a break. I have now been off the medication for over four weeks now and I am coping, still feel like hiding under my duvet sometimes when it starts to get too much for me but those days are becoming less and less.
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Post by cheshire on Jan 9, 2006 12:37:36 GMT
Hi Moe
Glad to hear you got a break and that things are on th eup
Take care Hopefulxxx
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moe
Full member
I have seven children, my youngest is two and a half, I have suffered from pnd after every birth.
Posts: 64
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Post by moe on Feb 1, 2006 15:32:21 GMT
I am having some difficulties, relationship wise, my husband thinks I am better since I have come off the medication and it looked like I was doing so well, as we all know with PND there are times when you feel really well, happy and good but also there are times when we feel very down. It is awful as he says he can´t stay with me anymore and he wants a divorse and wants me to leave, he´s threatened that he would take custody of the kids away from me, I thought he was so understanding and loving, its so hard when you feel that life is such a struggle and no one understands not even the person who is closest to you, I have been really struggling to try to keep myself feeling well, I feel really home sick and I miss my parents and my eldest son is having so many problems at home and school and I can´t do anything for him as he does not live with me.I am trying so hard but nothing seems to work. I do hope it gets better soon!!!!!!!0
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Post by cheshire on Feb 1, 2006 16:36:03 GMT
Hi Moe Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that things are difficult with your relationship just now - the last thing you need? I wish I could do something to help you? I must admit, our relationship had some really rocky patches with PNI. I continually threatened divorce at one stage Don't forget you are strong - I just hope things settle down again soon for you and that things work out the way you want them to Keep in touch Lots of love & thoughts Hopefulx
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moe
Full member
I have seven children, my youngest is two and a half, I have suffered from pnd after every birth.
Posts: 64
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Post by moe on Feb 1, 2006 18:08:43 GMT
Thanks Hopeful, this time I really think it is divorce he really does hate me, says he thinks I am a terrible person, does´t want to stay with me if I am like this, it is so difficult I am really trying.
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Post by cheshire on Feb 1, 2006 21:06:00 GMT
Hi Moe
Please keep in touch - I don't really know what to say?
We'll be here listening if you need to talk..
Much love and thoughts Hopefulx
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Post by monica on Feb 2, 2006 20:53:59 GMT
Dear Moe
I'm sorry things are difficult for you at the moment. It must be awful for your husband to say such things. Could it just be a rocky patch, more on his part ie he's going through a difficult time and he's lashing out.
I know PNI can put the best of relationships under a lot of strain. Mu partner and I never discussed splitting up when I was ill, but I despised him - some of which he deserved as he was so unsupportive, but some was also me and it certainly felt as if I annoyed him alot.
Let us know how things are
Thinking of you
Monica
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moe
Full member
I have seven children, my youngest is two and a half, I have suffered from pnd after every birth.
Posts: 64
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Post by moe on Feb 3, 2006 0:30:46 GMT
It is better between us, I think it was a rocky patch as you said. he doesn´t know what to do for me as I am so unhappy, I just feel so numb. I will write later, I am so tired.
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Post by Veritee on Feb 3, 2006 13:29:34 GMT
Dear Moe
We are here for you if and when you want to write anything.
I think many of us have gone through rocky times with our partners and husbands. Some of us are still together, and a few are not, I do not know what helps some to stay together and others not to.
Have I got it right - your husband is suggesting you leave? This is more unusual than the other way round - but I realise you have a lot of children and it would be a big job to look after so many , even when you are well - but if you are unwell, it is obviously more difficult.
So I guess it is because your partner feels he is able to look after your children alone, while you may not be? Is this why he suggested it was you who left. However he seemed so supportive of you when he posted on this forum, so like you I am surprised he feels like this now - has anything triggered this do you think? as people do not usually change overnight.
However it is not that easy to parent alone for anyone - my own brother is a single parent of 4 for similar reasons really his wife left when her last baby was less than a year - and it has not proved as easy as he thought to look after 4 children alone.
But this does not help you - I have noticed that if couples are going to split it is more likely to happen when the PNI is getting better than when you are really ill and this seems to be what is happening for you as you are even well enough to come of your medication. So perhaps he was expecting too much too soon? If this is the case if therefore you can get over this stage it should be OK. Perhaps the other person feels that once you are off medication and well, you should be able to take up all the roles you have not been able to do while you are ill - but in reality it could take you months , even a year or too to completely be able to take up all the strings of your life.... so perhaps you could ask your husband for more time?
Also if you miss your family - how about a holiday - a visit home on your own without your family?
It could give you both a much needed break and time to rest and take stock. and a chance to see your oldest son
Just a suggestion and maybe not a possible one as I do not know your circumstances.
Anyway - please post on here if and when you feel like it
All the best
Veritee
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moe
Full member
I have seven children, my youngest is two and a half, I have suffered from pnd after every birth.
Posts: 64
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Post by moe on Feb 4, 2006 0:23:42 GMT
we decided to keep trying at the relationship, it has been very difficult for me since I have stopped the medication, I am recovering very slowly but recently I have been feeling very down and tired, worn out. I feel that he has expected alot from me, I find it really hard to write/talk about how I feel at the moment, I feel like I want to hide, I have to force myself to do things. My Dad has just been diagnosed with cancer, I found out today. I wish life wasn´t so difficult!
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Post by Veritee on Feb 4, 2006 12:33:14 GMT
I am so glad you are going to give it a go.
Don't worry about posting unless you want to - i think we have all felt numb and unable to tell others how we feel.
I hope it is going better now
Veritee X
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moe
Full member
I have seven children, my youngest is two and a half, I have suffered from pnd after every birth.
Posts: 64
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Post by moe on Feb 7, 2006 22:32:47 GMT
Well, I am still struggling on, I think about my poor Dad, I don´t want him to suffer(he starting chemotherapy soon) and I think to mysef that I should not be feeling like this, I feel like I am being selfish, I should not be feeling down, I should be making the most of my life, I feel awful, I am going to my therapist in a few days to talk, I think I need to talk.
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Post by cheshire on Feb 7, 2006 23:04:07 GMT
Hi Moe
You've got so much going on?
Sorry to hear about your dad...mine has just had the 'all clear' (it all happens when we've just had a baby doesn't it?), we're here if you need to talk.
Lovely to hear from you Hopefulxxx
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