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Post by susanneb1984 on Nov 30, 2005 17:50:18 GMT
I'm having a lot of headaches at the moment, the doc prescribed TRAMADOL but they are awful! They made me quite sick! Not nice! I say, a lot of headaches, actually I've had the same one for about 11 days now! Can't you make a plan for your ex to see Maddison on the same day every week? Would that work?
Susanne xxx
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Post by cheshire on Nov 30, 2005 19:06:52 GMT
Hi Michelle,
Glad you felt ok this morning.... sorry your ex seems to be giving you problems just now...
As I said before, we're here if you need a listening ear..
Thinking of you today Hopefulxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Post by michelleh on Nov 30, 2005 19:32:47 GMT
I have had the same headache since Madison was born 10 weeks ago. Its just worse more days than others never really goes away but recently has been getting worse. He cant see her the same day every week because he does different shifts each week and also has a son with another woman.....he is 2 years old. He still says he wants to help me through this but has said the most horriblest things to me recently....he was my best and only friend that i could really talk to...i dont really have any female friends that have been through this or even know what i am talking about.
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Post by sarajay28 on Nov 30, 2005 20:52:54 GMT
Hi Michelle,
I too didn't have any friends to talk to until i joined this site, doing this and speaking to people in the same situation as me has slowly given me the confidence to go out and make new friends. I now have a couple of very good friends who i can cry on their shoulder if i need or just have a laugh with. You know you can always talk to people on here and it might just help you through the hard times. I've been having a really tough time with my ex husband lately regarding his access to the kids and it doesn't help on top of the PNI so i know just what your going though. Keep talking, it does help and i hope things start to get better for you soon.
Loadsa Love
Sarah.xxx
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Post by monica on Dec 1, 2005 21:47:12 GMT
hello
How are things for you today ?How are your headaches? Is it any better? Re: your headaches, does your dr have any idea what they could be? Do you have any other symptoms? Prior to PNI, I could count the headaches I'd had in my whole like on one hand, but when PNI kicked in, I got them all the time. But keep pushing the dr. Have you considered some sort of alternative therapy? An osteopath posted on here; many swear by it. I tried acupuncture which worked really well. The downsiide is this can be pricy (£30 /session) but sometimes you can get it on teh NHS.
I'm sorry your ex is giving you grief. I'm sure the stress of that isn't helping your headaches. And I'm sure it must be so hard that someone you considereda best friend is treating you like that. But I hope we can give you support. PNI can make you feel really isolated and I know my confidence plummeted, which makes it hard to find new friends.
Would you consider something like Home Start? A volunteer comes round to give you a hand or just someone to talk to. The ladies that saw me were lovely. The first time I just cried and cried, but she was so kind and it made me feel better to share experiences. My HV visitor referred me. It's really no pressure and you're very much in control as to the frequency of visits etc. Might be worth considering.
Take care
Monica
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Post by michelleh on Dec 2, 2005 3:50:33 GMT
Hi all well what a day i have had....once again i have had my ups and downs but it has been the worst day i have had recently. My ex told me that the girl i accused him of cheating with he is thinking of asking out....i flipped how did he expect me to react? Then i find out that they are going out with each other and he still wants to be friends with me, which i was getting used to the idea and thought for the sake of my daughter i would give it a try........then that all changed, he is now looking for somewhere to live with her. So it took him all of 2 weeks to decide to live us and then 2 weeks to get over it and then about 6 hours to decide he was moving in with her. This has been a big blow and today i nearly went over the top...he got to me that much and i really didnt want to be here anymore.....the thing that stopped me was my daughter she started crying and i realised that she is helpless without me.
I have got friends, more than they will ever have and i can get through this....well thats what i think for the moment. My head is killing me and im so tired i havent eat all day but im not hungry...
I know this may all sound stupid that its just because ive split with my ex that im like this but this is just one of the main things i am feeling at the moment.
Anyway im going to see if i can get some sleep. He is coming round tommorrow evening to see Madison and to talk so prob wont be feeling to brill tommorrow either....speak to you all soon.
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Post by michelleh on Dec 3, 2005 1:36:32 GMT
Dear Diary...Lol Well today has been quite a eventful day, weird that im feeling quite happy well content anyway. Woke up this morning had a really bad headache, not really looking forward to the day ahead because i know my ex is coming round to see Madison, and i want to talk to him about everything that has gone on. I took some pain killers but that didnt help much, I got a text message from Karen at work telling me she had just spoke to him about everything that had happened at that he was upset. I ended up talking to him on msn for a while, i spoke to him as a friend which was weird. i now know he is hurting to. He thinks he has messed his life up and made a mistake.. what do i do? ? anyway went shopping, then Karen invited me out for a drink but Keir (babys dad) was coming round after work so phoned him and he said it was ok he would wait for me. So i went out for a drink. We stayed for a bit then Keir came back to mine to see Madi, i cooked some food and then we had a long conversation. I was trying to give him advice as a friend, not being spiteful and i did it, i am well impressed with myself. We talked about him being with Emma after we had only been split up 2 weeks n why we split up n why he didnt talk to me about how he was feeling. He took the blame for why we split up and i said to him that I think he needs time on his own, he needs to sort his head out because he went from a broken marriage with a son, into a relationship with me, we had a daughter and then he goes straight into another one. Im glad we can talk like this and we are starting to get on better..well at least for now anyway. So all in all not a bad day
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Post by michelleh on Dec 3, 2005 18:06:05 GMT
I want to try and say how im feeling but i dont really know, i have so many mixed emotions today, right now im feeling really down and upset just want to cry but i know i cant because i already have a banging head and dont want to make it worse.
What do i want i dont know my partner back all i want him to say is that he still loves me and when he has had time on his own he will want to try and work through this and we can try again, but do i want him back? oh my head is all over the place.
Everyone is saying that i am better off without him, but when i see him i just want him to hold me to say everything will be ok. I dont know if being friends with him is going to be a good idea because i will always want more...or will i.
I know he has hurt me so much but i cant help loving him, i dont know if im scared of being on my own or thinking how am i going to meet someone else when i have got a little baby. If he knocked on the door i say i wouldnt take him back but i prob would but under certain circumstances.
Anyway im going to have a lie down he may be coming round later on, so will prob post more after.
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Post by cheshire on Dec 3, 2005 18:24:48 GMT
Dear Michelle,
I just wanted to say that although I can hear that you are so hurt and upset, I think you seem to be coping brilliantly. You can even come on here and 'talk about it' which is always a big first step. It took me FAR longer to open up about my problems.
So I'm sending you a big hug and I am following your diary and thinking of you.
As for taking a lie down - I have always found this helps so much. My body and mind seem to get back to an even keel..and I don't feel guilty about it being a waste of time anymore, because it always makes me feel better and I'm sure helping me in my recovery.
Lots of love Take Care Hopefulx
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Post by michelleh on Dec 4, 2005 22:27:54 GMT
Dear diary...
Im writing this before i fall asleep, early for me this. Im sat on the bed with Madison listening to music she keeps smiling and mumbling to the music well in her own way anyway she has a liking to Kelly Clarkson at the moment. She is the only thing keeping me going.
Well what a day I have had, ups and downs as usual. Felt really ill this morning, i woke up and i went really dizzy and light headed when i stood up, maybe its just the headaches and stress.
I watched a bit of tv and ended up falling back asleep on the couch, with Madison and the dog...lol. Well i was ment to be going out tonight and Madisons dad was ment to be coming looking after her was really looking forward to it, but i shouldnt have expected anything different when he told me he couldnt have her because he was seeing his new girlfriend, surprise surprise. Oh i kicked off big time i thought he had changed i was trying to be nice and be friends with him but he throws it back in my face everytime. We ended up arguing and i ended up staying in as usual.
Oh why does he do that, you think he would want to spend time with his daughter and i have been changing my plans so he can she her yet he wont change his for the one night i wanted to go out. Well im not changing my plans any more he can work around me.
Ive found that today especially, listening to music with lyrics that relate to some of the feelings i am having or have been having has done me the world of good. Strange i know.
Anyway im going to try and get some sleep. got a banging headache.
Speak soon
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Post by bam02 on Dec 4, 2005 22:37:19 GMT
Oh Michelle
Its so hard when you think something is gonna happen and you are let down last minute! Its so important to have time for you too! i would "kick off too" , but keep in there girl! You are special!
Anne-Marie
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Post by michelleh on Dec 5, 2005 18:10:19 GMT
Dear Diary,
I would like to Thank everyone on this site for all the advice that they have given me, it has really helped me through the bad days.
Anyway today so far......Had a really rough night Madison wouldnt settle for any longer than half an hour, i think this cold is getting worse not better, think she is having trouble breathing with her nose being so stuffy. So i didnt get much sleep.
Then for most of the day i have been relaxing on the couch and done a little bit of house work..oh and chased after the dog, he is like another baby. Then Keir phoned he wanted to come and pick some stuff up but i really wasnt in the mood to see him let alone talk to him so i said he couldnt and he kicked off saying "and you wonder why i left you, I'll just turn up".
At about 4.30pm i texted him saying he could come round and see Madison if he wanted to because i wanted a rest as my head was spinning and i keep blacking out and my legs keep giving way underneath me, which isnt good when i got baby to look after. He came round at about 5ish to pick some of his stuff up, then said he was going home and would come back. The only reason why he wants to come and she Madison tonight is because he isnt seeing his new girlfriend is working, i think she is working.
What i dont believe is how he can leave me and his daughter and in 2 weeks be with someone else, feels like we dont/didnt mean anything to him. But my feelings are so confused, one minute im ok the nxt im in tears.
Anyway he should be back anytime soon so better go.....
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Post by cheshire on Dec 11, 2005 14:23:24 GMT
Dear Michelle
How are you? How is Madison today?
Take Care Hopefulx
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Post by michelleh on Dec 12, 2005 1:34:36 GMT
Dear Diary Well i havent been on for a few days because i have been really down but managed to write a few things down on notepad so have just transferred them onto here, they may make no sence at all but hey my head dont either. Why is life so hard. I thought i was doing really well. I was happy in my relationship, I got pregnant had a beautiful baby girl and now my life is falling apart. I thought it would have got better. As you prob know if you have read my diary that me and my babys father have recently split up because of me being depressed mostly. I accused him of cheating and no matter what he said i had to find out he was cheating on me i had to get evidence thats all i could think about. In the end he had enough and left when my baby girl was just 8 weeks old without even trying to fix it. This hurts so much. Well i have had my ups and downs as most people prob have. But recently its been more downs than ups, my life has fallan apart in just 2 weeks, i have lost everything. Worse of all the person i accused my partner of seeing, he now is, after just 2 weeks of us spliting up. Then i find out they are moving in together. Before we got together he was married and had a son with her and left when his son was only about 6 months old. Maybe he is scared of the commitment and how hard it is when you have just had a baby. Well now he doesnt have any responisbilities does he, he sees his daughter when he has time, when it fits into his time table. Sometimes i dont think i can get through it. Then other times i do. its strange. I have sat there thinking im going to kill myself, end all this pain right now. No more suffering, ill show him what he has done to me. Then my daughter smiles at me or cries, and i think i am all she has, i have to be strong. At the moment music is helping me get through most of each day, and its unbelievable how my friends that dont know anything about this illness have helped me get through each day...especially ste and liam and if you read this i wanna thank you if it wasnt for you 2 i prob would have fallan apart along time ago. Has anyone else had this, already feeling really depressed and fed up and just want help but cant ask for it and then partner leaves. ?? This forum has helped me so much, with advice and support. Ill try and keep my diary upto date so you know how im getting on. If anyone has been in a similar situation i would love to hear your advice or from anyone really. Sorry im not very good at writing my feelings down and with me being so angry and upset its clouding my judgement. Well todays diary.......my parents came down for the weekend which was nice, gave me a break from being on my own all the time...havent seen my ex today, he came to pick some of his stuff up yesterday and i told him he wasnt allowed in the house and he tried forcing his way in, after he had took his stuff he said he was really sorry it had come to this.....the nite before that he had called me a slag said he didnt care if me n the baby were out on the streets and that i was just another notch on his bedpost. Anyway, havent really spoke to him today and i feel great, well apart from the headache i still got... Anyway im going to try and get some sleep, got doctors on tuesday and HV coming round to. Hope everyone is ok Any advice would be a great support Take Care Michelle
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moe
Full member
I have seven children, my youngest is two and a half, I have suffered from pnd after every birth.
Posts: 64
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Post by moe on Dec 12, 2005 10:15:19 GMT
Oh Michelle I really do understand how you are feeling and what you are goung through, the same happened to me, after I had my first child my partner left me probably due to the depression I had, I had a terrible time, couldn´t sleep, cried, I did not think I could survive, he had girlfriends and when he came to see my son he would tell me all the details which made me feel more depressed. You will get through it,it is tough I know but you are strong and you will survive! Its great that today you feel better. Remember you will get through this no matter what.
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