Kirsti's Diary

[kirsti]

hi there all sorry it's been a while i have a few question .I seen my HV today and soem things were brought up i am feeling better but i still can't seem to get myself motivatedinto tidying up playing with ben etc does anyone have any idea's on how i can do this.I've tried the rota thing writing it down and ticking it off as i go along but i forget to do it then feel bad that i havn't done it.Any help would be greatly appreciated as i really need to get on top of this
Kirsti
xx

[sarajay28]

Hiya Kirsti,

How are you today? I too had a period of not getting motivated and looking back my son hasn't suffered at all because of this. I now play with him when I want to not when i feel i HAVE to. I think its important not put pressure on yourself, like the rota, as like you say it can make you feel bad if you don't manage it. Try taking it one tiny step at a time, if you want to play with your son then do but if not, try not to worry about it. As for tidying up, my mum sorted that one for me as i was quite obsessive with cleaning and it really got me down if i couldn't manage, she said to me that my house wouldn't fall down if i didn't clean for a while (now i thought something dreadful would happen if i didn't keep up) and she said why didn't i try to clean every other day and then every 3rd day and eventually I DON'T CARE!! lol.... really i don't stress at all if i can't be bothered to tidy up or clean. Like i said take tiny steps and see if it helps?

Hope this helps you in some way?

Loadsa Love

Sarah.xxx

[cheshire]

Hi Kirsti

Wise words there from sarahj..and I agree, dust can only get so thick...the house can wait whilst you get better

Hopefulxx

[kirsti]

hey all thanks for the advice i have decided to change my HV as this one has been with me from the start and continually brings up the past and the way i used to feel amd i find that this just makes me worse as it brings back all the shit i had put behind me.The way i see it the past is the past and thats where i like to keep it lol I will be seeing my hv the weel starting the 27th i have the docs tomorrow to get a new prescription on seroxac as these seem to be helping and i need to tell her bout me putting up the dosage! i kind of forgot to tell her the last time ! silly me.But enough of that i also have good news as ben has started walking well waddling its sop cute he has been doing it round the furniture for months now and walking from person to person but he has now discovered if he lets go he can walk instead of crawling.He also has a very wide range of vocabu;ary such as mum ,no and bum he screams he shouts he seems to be a perfectly normal little boy except from the allergies.This is the only thing i do feel sorry for him about as i do feel it was my fault regarding the fish allergy as i do not eat red meat so when i was pregnant i eat a lot of fish to get nutrients and i read on websites that children can develop allergies to some things the mothers ate a lot of while pregnant.Does anyone know if this is true? well just thought i'd write a bit seeing as i ain't been here in a while ! lol
kirsti
xxx

[cheshire]

Hiya Kirsti

I ate loads of fish when pregnant, as we'd read it was good for a developing baby - and I don't eat beef or much lamb...so do eat lots of fish and chicken.

I would prefer to be veggie but get anaemic- so without fish and chicken, I'd probably feel ill!

Don't feel guilty, I'm sure it's not your fault

Take care
Lots of love
Hopefulx

[monica]

Hi

Dont' blame yourself as i'm sure it's not your fault. My son as an intolerance/allergy to eggs adn npeanuts. Like you, I gave him scrambled egg as a toddler and suddently he got a rash and his eye started swelling up. It's similar for nuts, although he's ok with a couple. He can also eat eggs in cakes etc, it's jsut raw that's a problem or was. I don't know if it's better as he' won't touch the stuff, now.

But don't blame yourself. It's probably just one of those things. I didn't eat nuts or eggs in any sort of large quantity and he still got it. Your son may well grow out of it.

It's so sweet when they start waddling around. I bet there'll be no stopping him now!

Love

Monica

[kirsti]

lol yeah thanks for all the words of support i just felt pretty shit cause i thought i had made him get a allergy and i felt sorry that he would never know what fish or eggs tasted like they're my favourite food fish mroe than egg but my mum says he won't know any diffrent as he's never had it in the first place which made sense to me .Well i'm away to watch Land Before Time with him hopefully he'll sit at peace! lol i'll try and get back on later baby permitting! lol
kirsti
xxx

[kirsti]

hiya all again,I'm in need of some advice.So I#ll start from the begining.When me and my partner first got together we moved in wiht his dad and step mum i was just 16 when we moved in and his step mum is a renouned alocholic.I do not hold this against her it was when she was drunbk soem of the stuff she used to tell me like being raped by her brother and other stuff that a 16yr old does not need to hear!! After i had my son he was about 2-3 months old his step mum(anna) told us to have a night off and she would watch him as my partners nieces were there i thought she wouldn't get drunk! wel... she got drunk my partners 9 year old niece woke up feed changed and put ben back to sleep because anna was that drunk !!! .I found this out about 2 weeks before we moved out .She now keeps asking to babysit ben and i keep coming up with excuses as i fear if she watches him she'll drink .I don't know whether to confront her and tell her she won't get him as long as she's drinking because she has tried to kill herself many many times in the past and i dont' know if confronting her will cause her to do this again .I just dont' want her to babysit my son while she is still an alcoholic.How do i go about in nicely to tell her no
Kirsti
xxx

[cheshire]

Hi Kirsti

Lovely to hear from you by the way.

But I don't know really what to advise other than I would go with your gut feeling. If you feel uncomfortable about it - then just say 'no'
Don't worry about upsetting people in the short term if this ends up to be the case - you're the mum and you know what's best for your little one

Love HopefulXX

[hannah457]

hi kirsti
happy mothers day
love hannah xx

[kirsti]

Hello again all !!! my god it's been a while !!! lol

just thought i'd update this bad boy as it's been so long !!

i have moved out of my mums and got my own place !!! will have been in it a year next month !! (having a party !! ) lmao ! .
My wee boy will be 3 in febuary ! and by god has it flown in ! lol
I am no longer taking anti depressants tho i do still have my down days . i still have the anxiety and paranioa and i have had a few panic attacks ... But i do not dwell on them they are in the past .

i've got myself a lil job working in a bakers . it's given me a whole new lease of life Ben goes to a childminders 2 days a week and with my family the other days i am there .

He has come along sooo much these past few months I couldn't imagine my life without him .He is still the same wee boy as he was when he was a baby very rarely cries unless somethign is really wrong with him he is cheeky and likes to tell people to shut up ...I'll try post some pics when i get the chance ...

I'm still with his dad we did split up but only for a coule of months as he was very stressed out at work etc and we just needed a bit of space from each other ...But all is well again .

I finally feel like me again all i need to do now is loose a bit of weight !! lmao anyone has any suggestions !!! i'll be thankfull for the help !!

So it just goes to prove ladies ! there is light at the end of the tunnel !!! this horrible disease can be beaten !!!! keep your heads up and think PMA!!!!!! (Positive Mental Attitude )

[cheshire]

Great to hear from you