|
Post by cheshire on Apr 4, 2007 9:07:08 GMT
Hi G
How are you feeling today? Sorry to hear you've been feeling so low.
Hopefulx
|
|
|
Post by gizmoracer on Apr 5, 2007 7:59:49 GMT
Hi Hopeful Rotten if I'm being honest. But there are so many things it could be. I did'nt post on here yesterday because I felt so bad, just didn't see the point if that makes sence. Did a pregnancy test yesterday and it was negative. Its really upset me, which is stupid coz I didn't really want to be pregnant, but I guess I'd got used to the idea and with hubby saying its not such a big deal if I was, part of me started hoping that I was. Just seem to be walking down hill this week (guess thats my come upance for feeling good last week). I went to a markett research on Tuesday. I look forward to these as I get a chance to go out somewhere different and have a chat with people for a bit. Only I was the one at the top of the list and been as we all turned up that ment I got to go home (They often ask too many people incase someone lets them down last minute). That put me straight on a downer, again this is silly coz I got paid and my mum kept the kids for a few hours, and I got a chance to do what I wanted for a bit. Oh yeah and my friend had phoned before I left and rearranged Friday nights Piss up. Have to admit I was getting very anxious about going out, I haven't been out for ages and it felt like a big thing, but was looking forward to it to. Then yesterday, like I said, after doing the test I felt worse, Had another market research yesterday afternoon this time with my daughter, it went Ok rather amusing really watching 3 adults trying to keep 5 3 year olds amused for 1 1/2 hours with something none of them were really interested in tee hee. Hubby was looking after my son and they were expecting a friend over to play, the kids were looking forward to it and Joey was asking if they were going to be there when we got back. Turns out they never showed. I'm starting to feel quite rejected by this stage of the week. Paranoid I know but I'm sure someone will understand me. Hubby doesn't seem right either, but won't talk about it. Said he's still not coming with me to see the councellor today, thinks I will get more out of it myself. I think, I'll get more out of staying in bed. Just hope I get somewhere with it today. One of my biggest problems at the moment is that hubby wants to help but doesn't know how, because he doesn't nderstand how I feel and why because I can't explain it. Does that make sence??? I will put up another post on this one. Hopeful maybe you could direct your hubby to it for me please, I have seen him reply on here before. Thanks.
|
|
|
Post by cheshire on Apr 5, 2007 10:35:41 GMT
Hi
Will do Hx
|
|
|
Post by gizmoracer on Apr 7, 2007 19:43:43 GMT
On the up again First off, Hopeful thank hubby for us please, I know he wasn't sure what to post but it did make alot of sense and helped, as did all the others. Right counseling. Very hard going, lots of crying, felt bad when I got out but in a strange sort of way also better. She has started focusing more on me now and who I was and want to be. We had a long talk about my need to be better than everyone all the time and why I feel I should prove things to people. She said pretty much all the same things I have heard from Steve in the past but it did sink in and help. She also addressed my feeling of total guilt and failure when I snap at the kids. Saying basically that if they are not subjected to anger then how will they know how to deal with it themselves. And that its OK to be cross, but to try and explain to them why I am cross and apologies if it is uncalled for. That sort of thing. I have however found it hard to go straight from there back to MIL to pick kids up. So in the future she is going to keep them longer so I can go home for a good cry and hug and talk with hubby. This should stop me bottling it up and making me more tense. Yesterday I got up very very tired and extremely irritable, didn't want my son anywhere near me . He must have been tired too, this is what I mean about the guilt. Steve was also exhausted so I tried to let him sleep and we all know where that ends up, yep kids get louder. I was just about to give up and take them to my mums when he got up and took over, ordering me to go lay down. I fell asleep, actually didn't want to. I heard them going out on another bear hunt, and quite frankly decided to let them go believing I was sleeping. I planned to get up and get a few things done, but stretched out and fell asleep again useless I know. Got woken up by the phone, scared the *hit out of me. They had got half way into Northwood without drinks or tissues I went to meet them. Bit wound up with myself now because we had friends coming over that afternoon (the ones that didn't turn up the other day, family crisis) and our place is a tip. Anyway cut a long story short we ended up going to them instead, had a great afternoon. Their daughter shares a birthday with Jason (she is 1 year younger) and she is also only 6 mths older than Jodie, we all get on really well. The idea for seeing them was to arrange today, the local train was doing an easter special with free eggs, balloon modeling and face painting. The plan was everyone went on the train and I was going to surprise them by meeting them at the other end with a picnic, there is a big park there. Come the morning no-one is organized, least of all me, we end up running an hour late and I decide to go with them all. Missed the train, by 3 Min's My DD being the accident prone one manages to fall over and gets the best scraping on her knees I have ever seen, this is a new one, she's done just about everything else but graze her knees. One very unhappy little bunny 45 Min's screaming blue murder waiting for a train. Soon cheers up when we get on and a poor lady who has been making balloon bunnies all morning presents her with one, Joey angelically thanks her for the kangaroo Followed by a visit from an easter bunny who is having trouble with his head slipping, my DS notices and I manage to silence him this time. We end up staying on the train to get the girls face painted as we ran out of time. Wow the things they can do these days gorgeous. Back comes the easter bunny and passes us just as my DS shouts out who's the man inside that suit? He's not with me honestly . Next thing we know we are back where we started, so off to the local park instead. I've done enough food to feed an army yet most of it goes anyway. Brilliant day out. I felt at ease all day long, well apart from feeding the fish and ducks on the edge of the canal, could really feel the panic setting in and the throat closing up. This afternoon I have got really sore boobs, and have been craving some strange combinations for about a week now. Think number 3 might be on the way after all. We'll see. If not we have decided to try for another one anyway The grandparents have got the kids all day between them tomorrow, hoping to spend a bit of 'us time' with Steve and have a good talk about the baby situation and working out a plan on how we can share what needs doing at home without it seeming too biased.
|
|
|
Post by gizmoracer on Apr 9, 2007 8:45:31 GMT
Sunday was a complete waste of a day I spent more time dropping off and picking up the kids than doing anything else (least thats how it felt). Got next to nothing done and hardly had any time with Steve. All I achieved was hanging out a load of washing I did 3 days ago, Taking the old tumble dryer down the dump and moving the washing basket into the kitchen. Steve is really fed up to, reckons he's just tired, but I can never tell. He was obviously irritable, and fed up, kept loosing his temper with the xbox and was sharp to the kids. It's been a while since he was like that. I hope it is just tiredness and not me. I always feel as though its me causing everyone else's problems, and quite often I'm made to feel like its my fault anyway. I know no-one does it intentionally, but it's just how I feel. Suppose it's the paranoia. I stayed up late for him last night but don't know why. It wasn't as though I wanted sex or anything just a few meaningful cuddles and some time together, that went pear shaped to. So today I have left him to try and sleep, with all the noise the kids ave been making he must need it coz he's not flinched. I was going to take them over the park for a bit, you know, show I'm capable and repay him for all he's done for me. But I can't face it, just can't leave the flat to go somewhere like that. I suppose me putting pressure on myself to loose weight isn't helping, always makes me feel 100 times worse, when I start thinking about my weight. I hit 15 stone yesterday, I'm horrified, nearly threw up looking in the mirror. Thing is I've tried everything, I know the most sensible way is to reduce the amount I eat and to cut down on the fatty stuff but it just makes me feel hungry, irritable and as if I'm being punished for something. It's so stupid. As I type I am so hungry I feel sick, but I have eaten already. I suppose its similar to how Steve feels every time he gives up smoking, but he sticks to it for like 6-8 weeks and it doesn't show he's struggling, I only need 1 day of rabbit food to put me in the worst mood of the century. I've even spent out on slimming pills, they are crap, just made me constipated, like that helps. Can't really be bothered to write anymore, just fed up and tearful today. Hopefully when Steve gets up and if our friends come over later I might snap out of it. Don't feel that way right now though.
|
|
|
Post by yoyo on Apr 9, 2007 17:29:19 GMT
Hi giz Sorry that you're feeling so low the last couple of days It's horrid isn't it. I wish I had something to say which would make it all better - but things will improve - and it's great that you are so aware of others around you - that in itself is sign of improvemnt even though it can be more frustrating than anything else. Diets & post pregnancy weight are just awful aren't they?! I did the British Heart Foundation 3 day diet - nightmare to stick to but you only have to do it 3 days a week (I did tue-thurs) and then eat normally for the other days - it did shift it too and it stayed off quite well, when the weight creeps up aI just do it once a month or so now. Have you ever tried it? www.thecolumn.org/3-day-diet.asp
|
|
|
Post by gizmoracer on Apr 10, 2007 8:07:44 GMT
Thanks Yoyo. Thats excatly what I was looking for. A friend told me of one very similar but she couldn't remember it all, just that there was loads of tuna, beetroot and cups of ice cream. Just waiting on advice from Joannem before rushing into this one incase I am pregnant already. However I have started this morning by following the first days breakfast, figure I could alwaoys use it as a base if needs be. OMG whoever decided to bottle grapefruit juice, and what on earth did they think they were doing? Its awfal stuff, the last time I tasted something like that I was being sick. On the plus side I do feel quite full up already. Had to drink a huge amount of water to get rid of the taste, and that was after brushing my teeth twice. Anyhow its only the grapefruit that I don't like in the whole diet and greenbeans I'm not a fan of. So its not bad should be able to stick to this one so long as hunger doesn't kick in. This time week I'll be able to see my toes. lol.
|
|
|
Post by claire99991 on Apr 10, 2007 10:05:18 GMT
Hiya just wanted to say good luck i have tried hundereds of diets and none have worked well i havent stuck to one longer than a week because there so boring and i get so hungry. I would love to have my pre pregnancy body back though. Im hoping a week of nhs food should kick start my diet lol. Anyway just wanted to say good luck and let us know how you get on i might try that diet myself although i hate grapefruit.
|
|
|
Post by gizmoracer on Apr 10, 2007 10:22:17 GMT
Hi Claire. I hate grapefruit to, with a vengance. But you only have to have it as part of your breakfast for the first day thats all. I had great fun trying to get it in this morning, I choose a glass of grapefruit juice instead of the fruit itself. I had most of it first as I was really thirsty, followed by a good few glps of coffee to get rid of the taste, and so on like that, then the toast and peanut butter to give a nicer taste in my mouth. It seemed to work. So now I don't even have to look at a grapefruit for a minimum of 8 days and thats only if I deceide to do the diet again. There is probably an alternative to grapefruit so if anyone knows it please let me know. Have to say I was also surprised that I'm not hungry either. It is now 11.20am and I could eat but don't really feel hungry. So far so good. I might post on here a couple of times a day whilst I'm doing this to give everyone a more accurate idea of what its like, for anyone who wants to try it.
|
|
|
Post by yoyo on Apr 10, 2007 10:55:19 GMT
I was reading somehwehre on the net that you can take hot or cold water with lemon juice - or 3 slices of lemon - it has the smae properties apparently?? To be honest tastes just as vile without any sugar or honey though
|
|
|
Post by yoyo on Apr 10, 2007 10:56:04 GMT
The thing with this diet is it's only 3 days a week - so if you can stand it for just 3 days it's worth it!
|
|
|
Post by gizmoracer on Apr 10, 2007 11:52:14 GMT
Thats excatly what I was thinking Yoyo. My enthusiasm for something like this never lasts more than about 3 days anyway, so I will be finishing at about the same time as I decide I'd had enough. Am going to freeze the remainder of the grapefruit juice in 250ml portions, this way each time I decide to do the diet I have it ready. It also means I don't waste whats left and for the sake of 70p that carton of juice is gonna last me ages ;D. Thats one of the other things I liked about it - its cheap. The only things I have had to buy is the juice, and the crakers. I already buy Tuna (just swapped to brine or water instead of oil) I have cottage cheese, apples, bananas, bread, coffee and ice cream already. Have to say though the cup measurement has me a bit puzzled, I only have mugs and that is more. Any idea of a weight or ml type guideline? Decided to have a whole tin of tuna with one slice of bread for lunch, probably more than I should have had but not by much, I hope. It does fill you up though. Had it as a very thick sandwich, bit dry mind you, but I still don't feel hungry or unsatisfied and my mood has been good today as well, feel like I can focus on things and am getting them done, Think the sun helps to. Yoyo how well do you usually do on this. weight loss wise? I know its normal to loose more the first week of a diet as its all water anyway. When I did the soup diet for the first time I lost a whole stone in 5 days Not healthy I know. By my god did it give me a boost into a low fat and more 'normal' diet. As a family we have been changing our eating habits anyway to include more fruit and veg and less sugary and fatty stuff. Basically trying to be more balanced so something like this does the trick for a few days just to shift a bulk of weight. But then by carrying on with a healthy way of eating afterwards avoids the dramatic pile on of all you've lost plus more. Maybe I'll be buying a swimming costume in the summer after all.
|
|
|
Post by claire99991 on Apr 10, 2007 12:50:38 GMT
Well im going to keep looking on here to see how you are getting on. I normally last a week on a diet then get bored so 3 days should do me well. I was also a bit confused about the cup thing. I will give it ago next week when i get out of hospital xx
|
|
|
Post by helenr on Apr 10, 2007 22:29:39 GMT
Hi, just wanted to wish you the best of luck with the healthy eating/diet. I'm trying as well, although not the same one. love and hugs x.
|
|
|
Post by gizmoracer on Apr 11, 2007 8:25:07 GMT
Think I over did the coffee a bit last night. Must learn to read, I thought it was black coffee with every meal, its not, there is no metion of coffeee with Dinner (obviously) I could have been typing on here all night long had the PC not been in the bedroom. Anyway I have come down from my caffeen high now ;D Jst have to say how stunned I am that I am not hungry at all I was ready for Dinner last night but dispite it looking like a small meal (well for me anyway) I actually couldn't eat pudding til a good hour or so later And I promised I wouldn't do this but I got on the scales this morning and have lost 2lb already ;D I wish I wish I had measured my tummy coz its gone flat well as near as it can with all the loose skin. I have decided that this is probably a good detox diet. So here's the best bit. I'm a size 18 but this morning I have size 14 jeans on and they are freshly washed and done up ;DWOW Bloody tight though so they won't be staying on much longer I feel really good to, quite energetic, wide awake, focused, ready to take on the world. Didn't really feel the need for breakfast this morning either but I have had it anyway. will report back later today.
|
|