|
Post by AC on Jan 23, 2004 12:42:15 GMT
Thankyou claire.
I have just come back from seeing my GP and he was fantastic,completely different from last time,im beginning to think thta maybe it was me thinking that he wasnt as supportive last time.
I was crying and told him that i havent been taking my medication for about 2 months,he didnt give me a hard time or anything,he was totally understanding.
he has prescribed a lower dose (50mg) and has told me to take them for a month and then he will see about increasing the dose.
He has given me another sick note for 3 months.
Im so thankfull for everyones advice and pleased that i took the advice and went back to my GP.
Alison xxxx
|
|
|
Post by AC on Jan 26, 2004 16:22:25 GMT
Well....... Today is Monday,and i have just got back from my PND group.It went really well and i am so glad that i went. I have been very ill all weekend,sick all night saturday and all day sunday.I can only put it down to the side effects of my medication,As i had been fine up until taking them.However i have stuck at it and i am still taking them.I havent felt so bad today,although i still have an upset stomach. All the group were fine and didnt even mention last week,which i am glad about.I even managed to speak without getting upset,which felt really good. I have taken one of the girls telephone numbers today,we seem to get on really well and i hope that we can become friends and perhaps meet up. I feel good today.
|
|
|
Post by Sharon on Jan 26, 2004 16:26:49 GMT
I'm pleased it went well at the group. Shame about the upset tummy . Hope you're feeling better soon, take care
|
|
Lainey
Full member
First time mum to Rebecca who is 21 months. Suffered PNI for a year and a half - now recovered
Posts: 108
|
Post by Lainey on Jan 26, 2004 18:51:23 GMT
Well done Alison, another hurdle you have overcome. Know what you mean about the upstet tummy and sickness. When I first went on my Cipramil I also suffered badly. Good news though, I have been on them about a year now and am feeling almost back to my old self (not quite that's why I am so glad for this website). The side effects soon wear off.
Great that you have found someone to talk to. I have a friend I met through PND and I must say we have really bonded. It's great popping round each other's houses if we are feeling a bit low. Company is so helpful when you have PND. Just think you two could be off on picnics and days out galore when the summer comes!
Love Elaine
|
|
|
Post by AC on Jan 26, 2004 19:20:18 GMT
Hi Elaine, Just knowing that people care is the best feeling in the world. I went to my Group today and was telling my CPN about this site and that it has really helped me over the past week,I havent given out much advice,but i have received loads. The biggest thing about PND for me,is the loneliness.but having this forum has really helped that side of things.A lot of my friends do not know that i have PND,i choose not to tell them.I suppose i am embarrased.But already i feel like i have made friends with this site.
|
|
Lainey
Full member
First time mum to Rebecca who is 21 months. Suffered PNI for a year and a half - now recovered
Posts: 108
|
Post by Lainey on Jan 26, 2004 22:04:40 GMT
Hello Alison
I'm so pleased you are feeling more positive. You are right about the loneliness it is the worst time for the old pnd to dig it's heals in. I try to get out every day, even if it is just a walk to the local shop. It is amazing how many people talk to you when you a little babe in tow.
Here's to a great week. ;D ;D ;D
Love
Elaine x
|
|
|
Post by AC on Jan 27, 2004 19:49:46 GMT
Sorry...... I will apologise before i start as i feel a bit odd today. A bit like a yo-yo.One day i feel good and another day i feel awful. Today i really missed working,it was a sunny but cold day,and after returning home from walking the dog, i really wished i had my old life back and that i was just on a day off and that tomorrow i would go back into work. I feel quite empty,cant be bothered to do anything. I apologised at the beggining because i get all this great praise from you lot about feeling positive again,and then suddenly i feel terrible again. I woke up in a negative sort of mood today,i had a good nights sleep lastnight,so i cant put it down to being tired. My son went to sleep this afternoon on the sofa, and i climbed into my bed,put the electric blanket on and just layed there feeling miserable.I had so much that i shoud have been doing,but i couldnt be bothered. Here we go again.....
|
|
Lainey
Full member
First time mum to Rebecca who is 21 months. Suffered PNI for a year and a half - now recovered
Posts: 108
|
Post by Lainey on Jan 27, 2004 20:24:38 GMT
Hi Alison
Don't apologise honey, you cannot help the way you feel. I always remember my health visitor telling me at the start of my pnd that I would get good days and then I would get bad days. It's horrible when you get a good day and then the next day you feel so down and gloomy again.
I'm not surprised you miss work. Just think, before you had your son, you spent 5 days a week there. You knew nothing else, and now you have none of that at all. I used to find myself looking at the clock at about five to five and thinking "well I would just be packing up now and getting ready to go home" I missed it so much (still do in a way) and felt like I was nothing. I was so in demand at work and had such varying things to do each day. You can't just forget your job. I find I really miss that 'Friday Feeling' you used to get at work.
Don't beat yourself up about having a nap or a lie down when your son is asleep. Make the most of it, you need rest. You may be at home but it doesn't mean you have to spend every spare minute cleaning, washing etc etc. Remember you are not very well and getting as much rest as you can is very important.
When you get the down days, just remember how you felt on the good days. The good days will start to out-number the bad ones - promise!!
Take care
Elaine x
|
|
|
Post by AC on Jan 28, 2004 10:10:26 GMT
Thankyou again Elaine.
How so right you are when you say that you would look at the clock and think what you would be doing at work.
I think i do that everyday.
I have woken up in a brighter mood today,its so strange how i sometimes feel in my mind,im the same body and shell,however inside i feel like a totally different person,and not always a better person.
I feel guilty for not being able to offer anyone any advice on this site,as if i am being selfish and grabbing everyones attention.I just dont feel up to giving advice when i feel so lousy myself,and any advice that i give would be of no use to anyone anyway.
When i feel bad and think about work,i stop and say to myself.That right now i cant manage myself,let alone manage my staff.....
Last night i read the whole of this topic through,and i really dont mean to sound so negative at times.The advice and support that people have given me has meant so much and has made me realise that im not alone.I think at times maybe i have really opened up about how i feel (Dont know if that is good or bad ?).And i know at the time it felt so good to be able to clear my mind of what im thinking,even if no-one reads it.
|
|
|
Post by claire on Jan 28, 2004 14:56:22 GMT
Alison, You are sounding a lot more positive. This site is great in many ways - those who need support as they are in the thick of it can get it, and those who are feeling better can give the support. All of those who feel better and are giving support have all been in the position of needing support - so eventually when you are better you will be able to use your experience to support others. now how many times have i said "support" don't apologise for feeling down - you're not letting anyone down, it's all part of it isn't it? It's better to be honest about how you are feeling than putting on a front for others - it makes it worse. i know what you mean about the sickness, but it does pass - stick at it. Don't get too worried about work - in the long run of things this is just a short period of time in your life, these babies grow up so quickly (mine is 3 on sunday - how did that happen so quickly??) and you will feel so much better soon. Please let me know how you are doing, Claire.
|
|
|
Post by AC on Jan 29, 2004 20:44:46 GMT
A positive posting !!
I have just come back from Slimming world and i lost 4.5 lb tonight,so im very pleased.( i have been ill all week,so i suppose that helped !)
Another big part of my PND was having put on so much weight.it used to really get me down about my size,but i enjoyed eating bad things as it was like a comfort.
It took a lot for me to join Slimming world,i hated the thought.But i joined 3 weeks before christmas and tonight i have lost a total of 2 stone since i started.So im well pleased tonight... ;D
|
|
|
Post by Sharon on Jan 29, 2004 20:57:49 GMT
Good on you girl! You are doing so well. I've needed to lose weight for a couple of years but don't seem to get anywhere. I'm glad this has made you feel good, and regarding your earlier posts- that's what we are here for. Well done again. I'm off to laugh at I'm a Celeb....
|
|
Lainey
Full member
First time mum to Rebecca who is 21 months. Suffered PNI for a year and a half - now recovered
Posts: 108
|
Post by Lainey on Jan 29, 2004 21:00:25 GMT
Hey Alison that is brilliant - well done you!! ;D
You must feel so good - know what you mean about putting on weight I have put on pounds and feel like a balloon, but am being really good at the moment and knowing how well you have done today will give me more encouragement.
Good for you, keep up the positive vibes.
Best wishes
Elaine xx
|
|
|
Post by AC on Jan 30, 2004 11:23:39 GMT
i woke up quite happy today.then the postman arrives and suddenly my mood changes. Something really silly probably to everyone else. The person that is managing my branch has sent me all my post from work,wage slips and pension slips etc. And she had wrote a little note on some company headed paper,and had used the branch stamp. Suddenly i feel sick,the tears roll and im here right now having a real bad anxiety attack. I know it is so stupid,but all the memories of work came flooding back,and i remembered ordering that ''Branch stamp'' From group purchasing.Its so ridiculous that it is almost laughable. I am really missing my old life today,my life before my son,my life where i was confident,successfull,outgoing but most of all happy,and happy most of the time. I feel guilty for writing that,i love my son so so much,he is great,a real little character,but unfortunately it doesnt change how i feel inside. I really think i am the typical PND sufferer,Up one day and down the next.There isnt ever really an in between.I either have a good day or a bad day.
|
|
Lainey
Full member
First time mum to Rebecca who is 21 months. Suffered PNI for a year and a half - now recovered
Posts: 108
|
Post by Lainey on Jan 30, 2004 12:40:01 GMT
Oh Alison I did feel for you.
The worst thing about PND is just how fragile you become. You can feel okay one moment but any stressful situation that you could normally knock on the head, just brings you down with a crash.
Your job meant so much to you and the reminder must have been dreadful.
Someone told me that pnd is a grieving process for your past life before the baby came, everything you had before has gone and so I suppose you are grieving cause you've lost it.
Of course you love your son, that is why you feel so guilty, but why should you feel guilty about wanting what you had before? All that will come back believe me.
You do get up and down days - just try to remember what the good days feel like and take the bad days one at a time.
Take care
Elaine x
|
|