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Post by marion on Mar 18, 2006 16:30:22 GMT
Meal was really nice but didnt sleep well last night. Just couldnt get off to sleep and the more I tried the more worked up I felt. Not so bad today though. Feeling quite down but been worse. Mainly tired.
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Post by marion on Mar 19, 2006 14:31:00 GMT
Am home now. Have had a nice time in exeter although yesterday went all weepy and snappy. Think it was coz I was tired. Chloe enjoyed seeing her grandparents and they're coming up to see us at Easter which will be nice. Feeling alright today which is good.
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hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
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Post by hannah457 on Mar 19, 2006 20:05:33 GMT
hi marion, glad you had a nice time away i could do with a holiday. thanks for giving me the web address to this site keep in touch love hannah xx
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Post by cheshire on Mar 19, 2006 20:15:25 GMT
Hi Marion Really glad you had a nice time Love HopefulXX
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Post by marion on Mar 20, 2006 12:00:53 GMT
Feeling mixed today - could cry at the drop of a hat and feelng very bad tempered. Oh well.
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hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
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Post by hannah457 on Mar 20, 2006 18:07:37 GMT
hi marion. sorry to hear you had a bad day it will pick up again love hannah xx
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Post by marion on Mar 20, 2006 18:20:22 GMT
Thanks Hannah Feel completely ashamed of myself. Lost my temper a bit with Chloe - didnt hurt her or anythng but rasied my voice enough for her to give me a look. Going through a phase at the mo where I get really anxious if she doesnt eat what I think is enoguh food. She really started howling and I couldnt bite my tongue with her in the high chair anymore so I decided to put her on the activity mat in the lounge whilst I took 5. As I did so she screamed even more and I snapped at her that didnt care if she starved- I know how the expressionon my face would have looked to her - I can just impagine her thinking why doenst mummy love me? What have I done wrong? I just couldnt stand her screaming anymore. Feel awlful for how I've been with her. I should be all cuddles but for most of today I;ve been so quiet with her - just getting on with things and switching off toher as she screamed whilst I changed her nappy. I hate being this way with her. I love her but just cant stand her sometimes if that makes sense. She's not a naughty baby - far from it - I know she only cries when she doesnt like something (like having her clothes taken off or her nappy changed) but sometimes she really rubs me up the worng way! Normally I ignore her cries and carry on being nice/singing with her even when she's crying but today I'm feeling so on edge. God I hope this doesnt get worse. I feel so awlful when I'm snappy with her and am so scared she'll pick up on my general negativity and depression and it will permanently affect her. I want to cry again now. She's watching Roly Mo as good as gold - she's almost got the hang of crawling now so I cant let her out of my site. Went to baby clinic today - she's 17.6 now - was 16.7 a week last monday so she's doing really well. I know I need to stop obsessing about her eating but I just worry that she will wake up hungry in the night and then get into the routine of a night feed again. I dont knwo - if it isnt one thing it's another.
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hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
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Post by hannah457 on Mar 20, 2006 19:00:34 GMT
i know how you feel. my daughter angel who is 3yrs old knows theres something up with me cos she keeps telling me she loves me and giving me cuddles which is nice, but she also using how i feel to try and get her own way more and she plays up more. it common to shout , it doesnt make you a bad mother kids just sometimes get you to boiling point. if you feel like shouting at your little one again move to a different room for a cupple of minutes so you can calm down. remember im always here for you love hannah xxx
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Post by marion on Mar 20, 2006 20:39:55 GMT
Thanks Hannah. Feeling a little better now. Mark is home and has had her off me all evening which has really helped. Ooooooooooooo it's tough!
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Post by marion on Mar 21, 2006 10:51:40 GMT
Feel tired and lethargic today - Chloe didnt want to eat all her breakfast which made me feel anxious but have now decided that as soon as she wont eat anymore (hold her mouth together and flicks her head around before the tears start) I'll just stop. If she wakes up hungry in the night I'll deal with it then. The only thing is Mark has to leave for work at 5am tomorrow so could really do with her sleeping through so he gets more sleep. Last night she woke up about every 2 hours - Mark saw to her so he's knackered today. Feel crap.
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Post by cheshire on Mar 21, 2006 12:40:14 GMT
Hi Marion
My son has been a really fussy eater from the word go - throwing my delicious meals on the floor whenever he was teething, or shaking his head 'no' etc. I must admit, it used to stress me out - now I just say fine, but it's a long time till tea!! And give him some fruit..I try not to let it get to me too much, but it is hard
Loads of love HopefulXX
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Post by monica on Mar 21, 2006 15:24:21 GMT
Hi
I used to get so stressed about my eldest eating when he was a toddler. he used to have a friend who would lick the plate clean given half a chance and my son would take 2 mouthfulls and spit it out. The tears I shed and that's without PNI. Try not to stress - they;ll eat when hungry and she's putting on weight well - easier said than done, I know.
I used to worry about my babe being affected my PNI. From about 4 ths to 8 mths of age, all he ever saw me do was cry. However, it never affected him. He's always been a happy little boy. I think kids are quite resilient. It used to make me feel better if I knew he got a bit of attention from others. My mum spent a while with us and she's play with him also I sent him to a childminder which he enjoyed, so even if he wasn't getting many laughs out of me, it was a relief to me (although I don't know what impact it had) he was getting them elsewhere from time to time.
I hope you get a good night's sleep tonight.
Love
Monica
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Post by marion on Mar 21, 2006 17:03:01 GMT
Thanks Monica - that's comforting to know that your little boy doesnt seem to have been affected. Unfortunately my mum doesnt want to know whne it comes to helping me with CHloe (think this is a bit of the cause of my PNI as I feel unsupported and rejected in a way by her which I find hurtful - especially when other women I know have their mums playing such a big and active part in their grandchilds life - think this is something I have to accect). Am thinking of a childminder for Chloe though. Start back in work in Sept so need one for then and think it would be good for Chloe if she got to know her bit by bit over the next few months. Will make myself (as the though of doing it makes me anxious - what a surprise!) sort out her child care asap. Thanks.
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Post by marion on Mar 22, 2006 10:57:32 GMT
Feeling ok today apart from tired. Mark had to be in work for 6am so was up at 5 - Chloe then woke me at 5.40, then 6 for a feed but she did then go back to sleep till 8.15 which was good. Having an exciting day of housework today.
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Post by monica on Mar 22, 2006 17:07:25 GMT
Hi
Hope your lie in (so to speak) helped. I know about housework. I had friends coming over so I hoovered for the first time in ages ( my excuse is my back - in reality would 't have done it any earlier) and cleaned the bathroom . How are you?
Monica
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