hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
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Post by hannah457 on Mar 16, 2006 18:09:34 GMT
i dont really know how this works, but i thought i would have a go. todays been a good for me. my little ones been brill and in a good mood so thats good. todays the second good day ive had this week. hop it lasts.
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Post by cheshire on Mar 16, 2006 18:47:19 GMT
Hannah, that is great! By the way, if you prefer to keep this diary as your own, that is absolutely fine. Let us know, as we tend to chatter to each other in our diary sections. I'm just glad you feel a bit betterxx
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hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
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Post by hannah457 on Mar 16, 2006 19:02:21 GMT
hi hopeful. no its ok i dont mind your or anyone else reading my diary. it would be nice to get feedback and support. love hannah xxxx
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hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
|
Post by hannah457 on Mar 16, 2006 20:03:41 GMT
feeling sad and tearful but i dont know why. ive had a good day spent it with a good friend, my children have been fantastic but i feel as if i want to cry!. why is it i have a good day then i end up feeling so s**t. why!!!! hannah xx
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Post by cheshire on Mar 17, 2006 12:24:57 GMT
Hi hannah
Its so up and down isn't it? How's things today?
Love HopefulXX
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hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
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Post by hannah457 on Mar 17, 2006 12:38:50 GMT
woke up this morning and i feel so awful. feel weepy and tired. my periods here so it makes it worse with pains and flu on top. hormones flying everywhere in my house, must give my half protective gear cos i just want to rage and scream to make all these feeling to go away.
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Post by cheshire on Mar 18, 2006 10:56:58 GMT
Hi Hannah
How's things today? Know what you mean about the protective gear.. Take it steadyxx
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hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
|
Post by hannah457 on Mar 18, 2006 21:54:45 GMT
feeling ok today spent the day with my mum. we had a good chat got some stuff off my chest. told my brother about whats going on in my life. think i made a step forward by talking to my family by bringing more things into the open. hopefully its a step in the right direction.
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hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
|
Post by hannah457 on Mar 19, 2006 15:56:47 GMT
today i fell abit up and down. not happy not sad. i just numb. i got up late so not tired. i dont know why i feel so numb. is it normal to have days were you cant feel anything at all? ??.
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Post by susanneb1984 on Mar 19, 2006 16:14:48 GMT
Hiya Hannah,
I think it's a big step in realisation when you start to open up. I think before you can open up, most people go through a period of denial. I know I did. So I can identify, I still have days where I feel numb, and do things without thinking about them, but things will pass. It's good that you had two good days, that might be why your feeling it a bit more on the bad days, but (and I know I say this a lot) what helped me, was making a diary. Every night, I'd sit down and write down the good things that had happened that day. Sometimes I'd have to force myself an they did start off really small, things like, I managed to eat breakfast, or Thea (my eldest) made me laugh. Then when I was having a bad day, I'd go to my diary, it made me remember the good things that happen. When your having a bad day, it so easy to not notice the happy things, this MADE me look at the positives. Might be worth a try.
Susanne xxxx
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hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
|
Post by hannah457 on Mar 19, 2006 19:37:35 GMT
getting to the end of the day and im really tired. my little mans been grisly hes teething so thats be a struggle trying to pacify him. the other 2 have been good. nearly bed time for the little ones can wait for a peaceful fag and coffee. todays seemed to brag and not got any easier.
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Post by marion on Mar 19, 2006 19:42:28 GMT
Hi Hannah Know how you feel today - it really seems to have been hard work today doesnt it! Chloe's just watching her fave Razzledazzle before bed - then I can have a much needed glass of wine! Take care Love Marion.
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hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
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Post by hannah457 on Mar 20, 2006 17:21:56 GMT
had a good morning. i went to my mums in mind postnatal depression group only to be told next weeks the last sections as its only runs for five weeks. so me and a couple of other mothers have asked if we would be able to get funding from sure start for a permanent pni group and we would run and promote it. the family worker said she will put it to the manager of sure start so fingers crosses. it might help my recovery if ive got something good like that to focus on. anyway the kids have been fantastic today, just had the family meal together without any arguements and it was so nice. hope this carm time will last!!!!!.
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hannah457
Senior Member
i have 4 children. brandon,angel , peter, leland .
Posts: 453
|
Post by hannah457 on Mar 20, 2006 19:09:10 GMT
god what a night the eldest two have been fighting since we had tea. its a complete nightmare. my eldest son brandon knows theres something wrong with me cos he keeps telling me he loves me and keeps cuddleing me all the time. but my daughter angel is using my illness as a way to get what she wants. if i say no she will scream, bite and hit me. it getting me down cos i end up shouting at her which makes me guilty afterwards. i dont know what to do. i keep ending up in tears when they fight. it makes me feel so sad and i sometimes resent all the noise which i shouldnt. i love my children i just wish i could snap out of the way i fell. i just want to be myself again!. i dont want to be under this dark cloud!
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Post by monica on Mar 21, 2006 15:34:15 GMT
Hi
Things will get better. Try and hold onto that. I know what it feels like, when the slightest thing gets to you. I can remeber when I first got PNI, my eldest was playing up. Instead of ignoring him, or punishing him by taking something away I screamed in his face for about 30 mins as I just lost it. My bf said he's never seen me that way before as it's normally him that loses it. But it's this illness and it will pass. I couldn't handle anything at the time and kids know exactly which buttons to press. Is it possible to try and distract them? Or say they'll get a treat if they behave well. Not sure of their ages,s o don't know if this is appropriate.
Monica
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