diary mother of mollyrose and charlie

[mollyrose]

i thought this would be helpful to write in a diary everyday how i am feeling , at moment feeling tired but cant sleep took citrapram at 10 am this morning spent most of morning crying i do find the mornings the most difficuit but i guess i am not a morning person best of times .
I had a terrible night last night cant sleep lie awake negative thoughts racing around in my head when i do sleep i wake up in a sweat panic attack .
I Have gone off food infact everything i enjoyed joked today with my husband that i dont even fancy chocies , really only eating to keep my stength up .
trying not to get anxious about the abnormal sensations/ feelings in my body like the tingling all over that seems particulary bad over my face and neck i know this is because my body is in over drive and has too much adrenaline but feels terrible

[kl77]

Hi
Hope you don't mind people crashing in on your diary but feel free to say if you do.
Just wanted to welcome you and say I hope you had a better night last night.
I tend to go on last thing to try and get my thoughts in some sort of order to help me sleep.
Hoping you have a happier day!
KL XXX

[notnutz]

Hi

Like KL i just wanted to welcome you. I only recently joined as i've only just been diagnosed... but it is helping to come online and write things down.

I hope the sun rises for you today

Good Luck!
bx

[sianyc]

Like KL I tend to come on a bit later in the day as I can get everything off my chest before trying to sleep.

Welcome to the site - I've found it to be fantastically helpful, whether it's just reading posts and 'lurking' or keeping the diary and posting myself. I hope it helps you too

Siany x

[mollyrose]

hi becs here thankyou everyone for yourreplys really helpful yesterday we collected charlie from grans god did i miss him feels good all family together now.
my husband is off this weekend i should have been at work .
yesterday had busy active day, no crying ,but times of anxiety.
still dealing with symptoms just keep thinking when am i going to feel better

[kl77]

Hi Becs
Hope your day is going ok!
Keep focusing o your good days and how much better you feel than you did however long ago. Remember - one step at a time.
Enjoy your weekend as a family X
KL X

[mollyrose]

hi diary , i actually feel like i have had a good day today we took the children to a farm and visited friends after felt good to be out and about without feeling scared or panicky felt great just to feel a sense of normality.
the only thing that bothered me was when i got home realised had not took tablet today then of course wondered is that why i have felt good ? maybe it is the tablets side effects that make me feel so bad ? but then i thought to myself would still be my system from yesterday and i did feel fairly positive this morning that is before i would normally take tab so i figure just good day so took tab this evening i really hope i sleep tonight my hubby at work all day tomorrow so on my own with the kids .

[kl77]

Happy to see you've had a good day - let their be more to come.
Happy sleeping and good luck tomorrow, I'm sure you'll be fine.
Stay positive
KL X

[mollyrose]

hi diary felt terrible yesterday went my sis house but felt really on edge detached a real sense of confusion and disorientation could not concentrate on driving stomach felt strange all butterflys lots of tingling sensation especially on head and in fingers diffucuty sallowing dry mouth aware of fast breathing could hardly hold conversation lots of noise with children .
i wonder did i feel so bad because i took that tab so late on sun , i dont know if i am feeling this way because of citrapram or from anxiety can anyone help will it get better? i so hate this .

[kl77]

Hi Becs
Sorry you had a bad day.
I'm 100% positive it will get better for you, one step at a time.
Don't know if it could be realted to the tablet thing, could be possible if they've to be taken at 12/24 hourly intervals??
I have everything crossed that you have had a better day today.
Sorry I can't be of more help
Take care
KL XXXX

[mollyrose]

hi diary, charlie gone off to school today hubby at work so just me and mollyrose today feeling really on edge why is this happening physical symptoms are terrible today tingling feeling face ,head, arms ,and legs feel like i can hardly pick anything up went to asda but had to come home felt overwhelmed dont want this to carry on anymore just want to feel normal does anyone elso feel these symptoms, is it anxiety it is like a weakness all over sort of like a burning/ itching tingling sensation . i have now come home just trying to keep busy just want to lie in bed if i dont stop myself i find myself just staring for ages it is like everything has switched off i just hate this i want to feel ok ,want to back to work , want to meet up with friends but easier to avoid most poor molly i feel sorry for her she is so good though so cant blame this thing on caring for a baby.

[yoyo]

Hi mollyrose

Sorry for crashing in on your diary but I just have to tell you that I too felt like this and occasionally do on bad days even now. The anxiety & overwhelming sense of tiredness rally is so hard to dael with - I must say on the positive though that you want to do things but dont feel you can, that's an improvement and please see it as such . I know how you mean that you feel switched off - I would feel very detachec from everything including my feelings and empotions - I was just existing and couldn't stand it - things do get better but I'm afraid dealing with the day to day in the meantime is such hard work at times, trying to keep busy is a good idea but make sure you don't overly push yourself x x x

Thinking of you at this tough time x x Keep talking x

[mollyrose]

dear yoyo thankyuo so much for reply i can definetely relate to the just exsisting feeling just had a good cry on hubbys shoulder kind of feel better he is off work tomorrow thats a releive , becs

[kl77]

Hi Becs
Sorry to read things haven'y been going too good.
Don't be too hard on yourself, you're recognising that you would just like to go to bed and dealing with it by keeping yourself busy.
I'm sure Molly feels loved and is with the best person!
Hope you've had a good day with your hubby and have a good weekend
Take care
KL XXX