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Post by beverley on Dec 1, 2006 17:53:00 GMT
Well the weaning class was naff and full of judgemental earth-mother types who were mortified that I stopped breast feeding at 5 months (they plan on breast feeding until their babies go to university). Very disappointed as I came away with no hints or tips and merely felt judged (and found to be wanting by all accounts).
Had a nasty choking episode with EJ when I tried some finger food (as recommended by said earth-mothers). His lips went blue and all sorts. Absolutely awful few moments.
I went out shopping today as I need an outfit for a wedding. Nothing fitted, looked like a hippo in everything.
Just tried feeding EJ and once again he point blank refused anything savoury, so hubby demanded I move over and let him do it. He sounded really condescending and it got my back up so am now not in a good mood. Got this wedding to go to tomorrow and managed to find a suitable tent to wear. Dreading it.
xxx
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Post by sianyc on Dec 1, 2006 20:12:19 GMT
Sod the earth mothers! Boo hiss boo hiss
I know it's horrible shopping post baby. Hope tomorrow isn't too awful for you x
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Post by beverley on Dec 2, 2006 15:49:53 GMT
Hubby & I were all sorted by bedtime and he was being absolutely scrummy.
I didn't sleep well at all and today feel very angry at everyone. I went shopping this morning and everyone was irritating me, but I wanted to have it out with them there and then had have a big row. This is completely out of character.
Going to this blasted wedding wearning my new tent this evening. Grrrrr! Hope I don't shout at the bride!!!
xxx
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Post by beverley on Dec 3, 2006 19:27:18 GMT
Wedding was much more fun than I expected. Hubby & I were like a "normal" couple for the evening. EJ stayed at Nanny's so we could lie in and recover.
Feeling ok today - even turned right at a junction that I hate.
xx
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Post by winegirl on Dec 4, 2006 15:46:12 GMT
Hi LA
Glad the wedding turned out ok! Sorry weaning class didn't work out for you (and for me, I was hoping for some tips before I start banging my head against a brick wall!).
And well done on turning right at that junction. You are very brave for facing up to your fear like that! Hope you have had an ok day today?
Winegirl x
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Post by beverley on Dec 6, 2006 12:40:16 GMT
Feeling bad today - lots of tears. A relative died yesterday - we weren't especially close but I really feel for her son (who I am close to). Everything seems to be getting on top of me again and I feel so useless at everything. EJ has been an angel and even ate his savoury food with no fuss. I'm contemplating taking him to clinic for a weigh-in today but can't stand my HV, so finding it hard to get motivated.
xxx
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Post by sianyc on Dec 6, 2006 16:10:08 GMT
Sorry to hear about your loss. I think the pni makes these things worse cos your emotions are already all over the place. Take care x
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kl77
Senior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by kl77 on Dec 7, 2006 8:17:06 GMT
Hi love Sorry about your loss which as Sian says is probably increased due to heightened emotions. Please remember that you're not useless at everything, you are a wonderful person fighting a horrendous illness - and you'll beat it! Take care KL x
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Post by winegirl on Dec 11, 2006 12:26:59 GMT
Hi La Sorry to hear of your loss, undoubtedly this will have made you feel terrible and exagerate the illness. I do hope things are picking back up again for you. Chin up mate x Winegirl x
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Post by cheshire on Dec 11, 2006 19:03:29 GMT
Hi La
I am also sorry to hear of your lossx I agree with the others - as I think PNI does affect how you deal with significant life events like this. I lost my nan when my second was 3 months old - I had already started to feel ill and I really did not cope that well at all.
We're here for you Hopefulx
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Post by beverley on Dec 13, 2006 12:55:20 GMT
I've been too apathetic to post for a few days. I've been reading others and keeping up with how everyone's doing but just couldn't be bothered to type anything myself. In fact, I can't be bothered to do much to be honest. I just want to sit and do nothing whilst EJ amuses himself.
It's the funeral tomorrow and I'm dreading it. There's a family member who is very unpleasant and has caused no end of upset - and of course they will be there tomorrow and I quite simply don't want to see them.
I've been having some very violent thoughts about my friend's midwife. My friend's baby didn't breathe at birth and is likely to have cerebral palsy as a result. The hospital have admitted that this could have been avoided and was caused by the kamikaze actions of one midwife - the list of her errors, negligence and arrogance is terrifying. I keep fantasising about smashing her face against something - fortunately for her I have no idea what she looks like and haven't even asked my friend what the woman's name is, so at least I could never follow it through. This is coming from someone who has never hit anyone in her life! Then I want to make a poster with a picture of my friend's baby on it when he was in intensive care, covered in tubes and needles, with a comment underneath saying YOU DID THIS and putting this poster up everywhere she is likely to go. Fantasy over.
There was a time I'd fantasise about Pierce Brosnan semi-clad on a beach. How times change.
On a happier note, EJ is eating savoury much better now. The addition of home-made cheese sauce seems to entice him to eat his vegetables. I've also discovered he'll eat most things if I add it to tomato. Funny boy.
The house is a tip and I really can't be bothered to sort it. My insides feel all heavy and I have that feeling that you get when you've been sobbing - even though I haven't cried for a few days now.
xxx
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Post by winegirl on Dec 13, 2006 13:06:56 GMT
Hi LA
I am so sorry you are so low at the moment but it is to be expected with what is going on at the moment. I hope the funeral goes as well as can be expected, perhaps you may feel better when it is over?
I see where you are coming from with the midwife. I feel the same way and know nothing about the situation! What a horrific thing your friend and her child have had to endure. I have very little faith in the medical proffesion as it is, so that just adds fuel to the fire!
Not sure bout the Pierce Brosnan thing, I would much rather Julian McMahon (from charmed and nip tuck). Good news on EJ's eating, wish I was having so much luck on that front!
Chin up honey, there is so much to be happy about, it's just so difficult to see some times.
Here for you
Winegirl x
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Post by beverley on Dec 18, 2006 13:27:35 GMT
Well, the funeral was actually nice - well as nice as these things can be. When a relative gave a speech about his mum (the lady who had died), he spoke with tremendous fondness and it really made me cry - but not just about their grief, but also wondering if EJ will one day feel the same about me.
Hubby & I had a blazing row on Friday night - it cleared lots of things up as we both aired things we'd been keeping to ourselves. It's always so much better once they're said and dealt with. Since then, it's been marvellous between us.
I went out Saturday night to a christmas party and it was fun. I was watching some of the others though and just felt that I would never be as carefree as they are ever again. I still enjoyed it though.
Today I have been a terrible housewife but a lovely mummy. EJ and I have played for most of the morning and he's been laughing his little socks off. House is a mess and there are no clean clothes in the cupboard, but hey, I'm not wonderwoman.
That's the first time I've let myself off the hook for having been a bad housewife!
xxx
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Post by sianyc on Dec 18, 2006 14:06:08 GMT
I used to worry loads about keeping the house spotlessly clean. Thinking about it now I was a bit OCD about it. I cleaned the living room every day (wooden floor on my hands and knees cos I could get it cleaner!) and the bathroom and kitchen, including scrubbing the floors, at least twice a week if not more. If I couldn't fit it in I would get very annoyed with myself and think I was useless. I'm glad to say that this has passed. It is definately more important that you try to have as relaxed a day as possible. I also recognised the heavy feeling you wrote about. That is how I know I'm having a bad day. That feeling is exactly it! It will get better for you. The feeling doesn't get you as often and then also not as bad. Now I get very few bad days and sometimes it's not all day either. Keep fighting it
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Post by winegirl on Dec 18, 2006 18:43:15 GMT
Hi LA
I am also learning to stress less about the housework. Our bambino's are far more important. Glad the funeral went well. And especially glad you had a good time Sat night - not long now until you feel that carefree too!
Speak soon Winegirl x
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