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Post by chica on Mar 30, 2007 14:10:31 GMT
Hi Suzi, I hope you dont mind me butting in on your diary, I just wanted to let you know, that I can sympathise entirely with what you went through post birth, I too had a terrible time and they had to take drastic action to save my life too. But just to let you know, eventually the flash backs do get less severe. I still have to avoid certain situations or even watching certain things on the telly, but all in all I am a lot better now. So I just wanted to say I can empathise entirely with what you are going through. Please believe though, that it will ease. Sending you hugs Chica
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Post by Jay on Mar 30, 2007 19:14:24 GMT
Thanks Chica,
I would like to thank you for posting to me. I am sorry that you also had a bad time. did you ever try hypnotism to get rid of the flashbacks? I often when I get suck for days in flashback mode, wonder if it would help. Did you ever get any treatment for PTSD? I am wondering what sort of thing this treatment is, that I will get later in the year.
Enjoy your weekend HUGS Suzi xx
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Post by Jay on Mar 30, 2007 19:33:48 GMT
Feel a bit better today, and thought I should kick myself up the backside to get going again.
Have put ant's up and they slept me which was great. Can remember going to bed, then it was morning. Great! Am really knackered, I think it is this v fast heart rate does not help. Cried a lot again, but that made me feel better. K did come home and catch me trying to wash my face and get rid of the red blotchy eyes. She hugged me. I feel awful for her to see me like this.
My friends on here have been very kind, they feel like they are my family. My own family do not know I even had problems this week, [except for K seeing me cry]. So what would we do without each other to talk to on here? There are things we cannot tell our family about. We have to seem we are ok.
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Post by sianyc on Apr 1, 2007 7:59:45 GMT
Your last post really rang a lot of bells for me.
I can't tell my family much as they just don't get it and think I should be copmpletely better by now (daughter 17 months)
I have 1 friend who had PNI after her first and I rely on her and this site to provide my support. To anyone else, my thoughts and feelings are too shocking
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Post by Jay on Apr 1, 2007 17:36:21 GMT
Hi Sianyc I know exactly what you talk about here. Its hard sometime to be OK, to have to look OK, when inside we are screaming!!!!!
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Post by Jay on Apr 1, 2007 17:46:30 GMT
Well last week has gone, thank goodness.
My body and mind finally gave in, and finally give up, so I could at last sleep. And the flash backs hopefully have stopped again. They nearly crusify me when they settle in and won't go away. I get so frightened. I cried this morning with relief, that I feel better. OH wanted to know what was wrong, I just said I was glad last week was gone.
I can't believe some of the support and kindness I have had from all you lovely people. Thank you so much.
Its 11.45pm now and every one has gone off line and I feel a bit lost, and have to face going to bed now. I hate nights. I hope I sleep.
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joannem
Senior Member
joannem mum of one little boy born Jan 2006
Posts: 314
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Post by joannem on Apr 2, 2007 11:42:24 GMT
Hiya Suzi Hope today hasnt been too bad for you and that you managed to get some rest last night Thinking of you PM me if you need too! Love n hugs joannem
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Post by Jay on Apr 2, 2007 23:30:17 GMT
Hi Joanne
thank you for caring about me.
xx
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Post by chica on Apr 3, 2007 8:30:36 GMT
Hi Suzi, In answer to your questions about treatment for PTSD, I am afraid that it was only recently diagnosed, and I now live abroad, so unfortunately there is no counciling available over here, so I have struggled on. But as I say they do ease, and yes they are terrifying, they seem to take over your whole mind and body at the same time. I did not like to tell anyone after a while because I always felt like they would think Oh no not again, or it was so long ago now that you should have got over it by now However, I am now far more in control of my emotions and feelings, I only admitted that I had a terrible problem when my twins were 5 and a half. So I have only been getting help in the last year. But as I have said the flash backs do fade in intensity with time, I just had to keep reminding myself that these were indeed flashbacks and that they were not really happening to me at the time (they were so vivid and real). Hope that helps a little. If there is anything else you want to ask please do. Sending you love and hugs Chica
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karen1977
Full member
Mother to the smiliest baby in town, who helped me get through and see the light again!
Posts: 45
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Post by karen1977 on Apr 3, 2007 19:45:52 GMT
Hi Suzi, I am sorry to hear you had a few bad days but glad you are coming out of it, I know what you mean about the birthday thing (happy belated wishes btw) Adam is 1 in May and I turn 30 in June. I have been thinking of what I reckoned I would be like at 30 and on meds for pni isnt quite what I had in mind! but hey, it is better than not taking them at all, and we both know that is true from experience. Hang in there honey, one day you will be able to look back on all of this and see that yes it was horrible and it sucked but you made it through and came out the other side still smiling, look at Hopeful "I have recovered" I love reading that, never give up hope, we all are due our day in the sun Karen xx
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Post by Jay on Apr 4, 2007 7:23:27 GMT
I can believe the kindness and support you folks are giving me. Thank you so much.
Yesterday was a better day. Work is good for me. It completely knackers me, so I can only do a couple of days a week. but it is a good distraction from all this illness.
yesterday I felt not so desparate.
I think I might have read my own signs wrong, and where as I thought my body was having a moan at having too much antid's, it was probably telling me it needed more. So I will give it a couple of days then have a think what to do. I had no diazepam yesterday, so that was good.
I wish I did not put everything off all the time. I even went to a cash machine yesterday, looked at it and thought 'I can't, I'll do it tomorrow'. I need a new passport photo walked to the machine and looked at it and thought 'I can't'. So I don't know if I will get them done today. There is so much I really need to do, but I just think I can't.
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Post by cheshire on Apr 4, 2007 21:33:44 GMT
Suzi
How did your day go?
Hopefulx
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Post by Jay on Apr 5, 2007 7:48:08 GMT
I have booked to see my gp this morning.
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karen1977
Full member
Mother to the smiliest baby in town, who helped me get through and see the light again!
Posts: 45
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Post by karen1977 on Apr 5, 2007 11:38:24 GMT
Hey Suzi,
I think if you take baby steps then it makes things easier, remember what it was like when you brought your baby back from hospital?? it was a miracle if you managed to get your hair brushed, never mind washed and get dressed for the first while. And then it slowly gets easier when you work out what you can do, I used to try to do one thing a day and it may not have been a big deal to most people, like go to the shops and buy stamps, but if you did it then you knew that next week you could try that and something else.
Dont be so hard on yourself, this disease can be crippling. hope it went ok with the GP
Karen xx
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Post by Jay on Apr 5, 2007 12:19:05 GMT
Hi Karen
thank you for your post. I did go to work, but I still never got the money I wanted or get my photo done. I know it is all so stupid.
I am getting sent to see a Psychiastrist, the gp could not answer all my questions about changing antid's.
I now feel very ashamed and worthless. And more frightened than ever. And goodness knows how long it takes for this apt.
I shall have a look in your diary to see how you are doing now.
Suzi xx
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