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Post by sunflower2007 on Nov 18, 2008 23:08:03 GMT
Things have been really busy. My brother's wedding in California was fantastic, I am really glad we all managed to go. Suffered a bit from jet lag last week, plus LO playing up and wont go to bed so its hard to get him back into his old routine.
Still fighting on and off with Hubby, when I see him. He drives me bats with his drinking. He just cant stop once he starts. He can go for days without touching a drop but when he has a drink, he drinks till he passes out. It means I cant rely on him to take the LO to nursery in the mornings after a binge because he will still be over the limit. That tires me out.
He wont talk about things. He says I push him to talk about stuff when he isn't ready and it is always on my terms.
Have been thinking about a friend I had in my old town who had PNI and I have lost touch with her over the summer. I feel so guilty that I haven't been there for her. I can't seem to organise my time at all. By the time LO finally goes down and I've sorted the washing, washing up and packed lunches its too late to phone anybody and I'm tired and dont feel like talking much.
Scary that Christmas is coming round so soon. We seem to have such a lot of debt this year, what with two foreign weddings. Time to knuckle down and pay it off I suppose.
Monica, congratulations on having your wee boy. Glad he is picking up and thriving on the formula, don't most babies lose a bit of weight initally?
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Post by winegirl on Nov 19, 2008 14:23:53 GMT
Hey Hun
Glad to see you have been doing well and that the wedding in California was good! (so jealous)
Things seem to be going pretty well for you (apart from OH) and I am pleased.
Know what you mean about having no time organised. I always preach on here how important is to make an hour for ourselves, have a bath etc then never seem to manage it myself!!
Seniding you love babes
WG xx
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Post by sunflower2007 on Nov 28, 2008 22:21:17 GMT
Thanks Winegirl Have been on a bit of a downer the past dew days about work and money and stuff. So haven't been talking to anybody really apart from patients at work. Just got my head down and got on with things.
Yet another month when my wages go into the bank account and I am still in overdraft.
Things with OH crap as usual. I want to get another job on top of what I am already doing to earn more money to pay off our debts and try to save up for his birthday. But he wont have it. Says I am splitting up the family again if LO goes to my mums on a weekend. I dont want him to work more oncall, I feel trapped enough as it is. We are not on the same page when it comes to lifestyle and finances
Work is hard too. Am feeling paranoid and unappreciated that all I am good for is to plough through the patient caseload, am not getting a chance to develop the service or manage or whatever.
Haven't felt this down in a while.
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Post by winegirl on Nov 29, 2008 8:59:16 GMT
Hey Hun
I am in the same position financially, so can sympathise with how much stress and worry it causes.
If you are feeling unappreciated at work babes, do you think you could talk to your boss about it? When things get on my mind at work I go to my manager and he normally appreciates that I have come and spoken to him as opposed to letting it consume me or sit slagging everything off (thats what most of them at work do).
I am sorry you are feeling so down babes. I know you have been doing really well and its a proper kick in the teeth when you feel down again, but it is understandable you fel this way with all that is happening with cash, OH and work...
Hugs to you babes (())
WG X
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Post by monica on Jan 25, 2009 10:04:25 GMT
Hi
How are you doing? Long time no hear. You felt quite down last time you posted so hoping thingsimproved for you
Love
Monica
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Post by sunflower2007 on Feb 6, 2009 17:49:20 GMT
Hi there,
Things had been going ok for a while and I had been getting better mentally able to cope with OH's moods. Caught up with my friend who had PNI last month and she was looking really good as well.
The latest thing with OH is he wanted to go to South America for his 40th birthday holiday in August, but I refused to go on a plane this year after so many long trips last year. Plus it was going to be too hot to take LO at that time of year. So he is now going to Las Vegas with his sister's husband who is also 40 this year and he gets on quite well with.
I keep panicking about money so have managed to work some extra hours at work, so now I am working six days a week till the end of March. It will only be a few hundred pounds but it will be a wee cushion in case of emergency. OH not pleased at all. Says what a hypocrite I am, going on an on about how he needs to spend more time at home and as soon as he starts to take his rest days I start working. Maybe I am being a hypocrite, but he was always moaning about how LO would always come to me and ignore him. Could it be because he was never home? Either at work, or the pub drinking or playing poker, or out fishing?
I am now resigned to that fact that he will never take me seriously or make any effort to understand me at all. His ideas about child rearing are fundamentally different to my own and he is not always giving LO a good example of how to treat women, ie me, my mum, his mum and sisters. Mind you, I am heartily sick of getting shouted at and the phone hung up on me.
Roll on August and his Vegas trip.
All in all though, I don't have nearly so many bad, dark nightmarish, paranoid days as I used to. Sometimes I even feel vaguely happy without needing LO to be the reason.
I can enjoy a nice sunset or look at the stars or finish a book. And although I can still feel something like a tiny hairball of sickness lodged deep at the end of my throat between my stomach and my heart there are times I can forget its there.
Plus the nights are getting lighter.
Sx
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Post by winegirl on Feb 9, 2009 12:34:22 GMT
Hi babes
How you have just explained how you have been feeling is so touching and so true too. Really has made me well up!
I think the nights getting lighter do help too, I keep thinking about sitting outside on a summers evening with a glass of wine...
I think alot of us find when we become parents how utterly different our views our on raising children. One of the major things me and my hubby fall out about is to do with our LO - things he thinks I do wrong and vice versa. It can be a strain.
So if your OH is off to Vegas where you and LO going this year?? You need a holiday too!!
WG x
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