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Post by littlelotty on Jan 7, 2009 22:57:43 GMT
Hi Smiley
Happy new year to you hun. Gald you came back on the site. xxx
I would say that i am still in the process of getting better - i would say i am about 80% better but still have the anxiety and when things get too manic or busy i end up having panic attacks and i seem to struggle with big groups etc and this was never a problem i had before. I am having anxiety management under the mental health team soon so will let you know how that goes.
I would also agree with WG that some parts of me have changed forever and i think i have become a better person in some respects because of it. I have lost a lot of people - friends and family and that upsets me but in time i hope that improves.
As for more children - we are both hoping that i may get pregnant this year although to be honest it will be the latter part of the year as we are not ready yet. I am scared about it coming back but i have been told the midwife and mental health team would be involved ante-natal so that is good to know.
It is all about time with this illness hun and that is sometimes the hardest part but you will get through this.
Take care hun and keep talking
Littlelotty xx
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smiley
Senior Member
Posts: 268
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Post by smiley on Jan 8, 2009 16:44:22 GMT
Hey girls
Good to hear from you ;D
Sounds like we are all the same boat - so that makes me feel relieved. The aftermath period or nearly there period!! Sometimes, I think I will never be rid of the pain and scars of pni esp when its triggered off by certain things but other times I can feel content its over. I suppose it will be like that for awhile and yes I will give it some time.
Went to see our cousins newborn over christmas and it triggered alot of bad memories and sadness. Felt jealous of the mother thinking why hasnt she got it?! Evil I know! But have got to accept the triggers as normal.
I also feel it has changed me forever and made a better person.. Crazy to say this, but its been abit of a spiritual awakening and opened my eyes to what I had take for granted for so long especially my health and well being. Struggling to love myself each day and telling myself I deserve to be happy. Have gone through months of feeling very angry towards people who are happy but I suppose thats what coming to terms with the illness is about.
Anyway, heres to a new year and new hope! Excited about trying for a baby but also anxious. Sometimes I feel ready but at other times scared I will get ill and not be able to cope. Again, I suppose thats normal. Wont be trying for a good 4 to 5 months yet though so still have more healing time.
Was wondering if either of you are interested in becoming email pals as could do with ad hoc support from time to time without having to use the forum x
Love and best wishes
Smiley x
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Post by winegirl on Jan 8, 2009 21:09:40 GMT
Hey Smiley - of course mate! Check your pm's - email address coming through WG xx
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smiley
Senior Member
Posts: 268
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Post by smiley on Jan 9, 2009 12:12:24 GMT
you gorgeous lady! ;D
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Post by winegirl on Jan 9, 2009 12:13:38 GMT
wouldnt go that far.. lol
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Post by winegirl on Jan 16, 2009 18:06:47 GMT
Smiley - if you read this (I hope so) I have lost a load of emails - yours included and so have subsequently lost your email address!! Can you email me again so I can respond!! Hope you dont think I have dissappeared on you!!!
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smiley
Senior Member
Posts: 268
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Post by smiley on Jan 18, 2009 11:57:36 GMT
Hey WG - no prob I thought something was up but I knew how hectic your first week has been. I will email you again no worries.
I was just about to post today anyway as something has been really bothering me since the christmas break. The PROBLEM is I dont know if I am better or not!!! I have come off the pill and been feeling abit all over the place so I dont know whether its that or the remains of pni. Admittedly, before coming off the pill I was feeling ok and my anxiety was really low say 2 or 3 out of 10 but now its more like 7 out of 10. I went to see a homeopath before christmas as she gave me a remedy that made me feel really bad for 5 days - ie irritable and angry. Since then I havent really felt any better. I saw her again on Thursday and gave me a different remedy which has worked alittle better and I feel my anxiety coming down to around 4.
Life in general has returned more or less back to normal but my anxiety remains in one area of my life thats is contact between my LO and my hubbys family. I get very uncomfortable and have slight physical symptoms when they are around my LO. When I was ill this used to be really strong but now its manageable but is still quite distressing to me as I feel i am still ill if I feel uncomfortable with them around. But then I think back to when I was not ill and did used to dread socialising with them then aswell although the comfort level was better.
So would really appreciate some advice on this issue and also about the homeopathic remedies too.
Thanks Smiley - still not sure if I am over the finishing line..
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Post by winegirl on Jan 18, 2009 20:29:01 GMT
Hey Smiley
I came off the pill about 2-3 months ago and felt like shit for ages after. I guess my body wasnt ready for me to mess about with my hormones. Anyway, I am fine again now but it took quite a few weeks for the anxiety to die down again.
Give it all time mate, I know you just want to be back to normal, but try not to question it so much and just take every day as it comes.
You are doing really well!!
WG x
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Post by littlelotty on Jan 19, 2009 17:03:00 GMT
Hi Smiley
I think coming off the pill does have an impact and it makes me go a bit all over the place with hormones so hang in there hun and hopefullty thinks will get back to how it was before.
You are as wg said doing really well and hang in there hun.
Oh didnt know if you meant me to be e-mail buddy lol. If it was let me know and i can PM you my e-mail.
Take care
Littlelotty xx
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smiley
Senior Member
Posts: 268
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Post by smiley on Jan 19, 2009 20:09:56 GMT
Hey guys! Feeling vaguely human again ;D Can look at hubby without wanting to kill him! Thanks for your reassurance - keeps me sane. Feeling alot lot better!! Taking each day as it comes and if I have one trigger left (DH's family) then thats not too bad is it?! Much STOP analysing and thinking!!!!!! Littlelotty, would love you to become my email buddy too - if thats ok. I am building as much support as possible around me as I embark on a second sometime this year and I think as you are aswell, it might be really good to become email buddies.. Much love Smiley xxxxx
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Post by littlelotty on Jan 19, 2009 20:12:20 GMT
Hi Smiley
thanks - i will send you a PM with my e-mail address.
Glad you are feeling a lot better. Taking one day at a time is the right thing - i did that and it helped alot.
Take care
Littlelotty xx
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Post by winegirl on Jan 19, 2009 21:20:12 GMT
Oh I want another baby too.... LOL
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smiley
Senior Member
Posts: 268
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Post by smiley on Jan 21, 2009 21:08:00 GMT
Ha ha, lol. We must all be mad! ;D
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smiley
Senior Member
Posts: 268
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Post by smiley on Feb 25, 2009 20:09:42 GMT
Hey guys Hope your all doing ok! I am (i think!) doing ok but since deciding to try for a second been abit . This anxiety I can handle - its nothing compared to what I have experienced but yesterday I started having some intrusive thoughts that really upset me. I am trying to put it down to anxiety and stress but i keep worrying I will never be rid of them and they may get stronger if I fall pregnant. Or worse that I will get ill again. Any advice at all very much appreciated. I spent most of today crying as I thought I was rid of intrusive thoughts and when they came back yesterday I felt abit shocked... also, hate being anxious about trying for a baby. I feel ready for another and want to put the past behind me and not keep reliving it. Smiley xxx
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Post by cheshire on Feb 26, 2009 12:52:09 GMT
Hi Smiley - good to hear from you and to know things are going well xx
I had PNI after my second so I've not been in the same boat, but I can understand your concerns.
I think the pregnancy section has some posts on this.
Hope you have a good day x
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