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Post by winegirl on Feb 26, 2009 20:39:03 GMT
Hi Smiley
Great to hear from you x
Trying for a baby is stressful - and you are bound to be over anxious considering what you went through before and your constant fear of it returning - that in turn will have triggered your thoughts mate.. I know its really easy to say but try to relax. You need to stop stressing about whether you have still got PNI or if you will get it again and just take every day! Enjoy the `trying' part.
You will have up and down days, but do try not to dwell. You can do this - i know you can.
Always here mate (even tho my comp crashed and I have no email access this week - but will message you when it is back on track)
Love
WG xx
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smiley
Senior Member
Posts: 268
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Post by smiley on Feb 27, 2009 8:32:02 GMT
Hey guys Thanks for replying, it means alot. I know some of the feelings I have are normal anxiety that anyone trying for a baby would have and I had these feelings when I had my first but somhow they are alittle more intensified, if you know what I mean. Add onto that fears of getting ill again and it makes life quite a challenge at the moment!! Basically, generally I have become a worrier, have less confidence and faith and over analyse everythng and this causes my anxiety. I tend to check everything I feel and think, constantly to assess whether I am well or not. So if I have a negative thought I think Im doing too great. So the intrusive thoughts threw me and i thoght 'oh my god im still ill!' I know this isnt forever and the state of paranoia will die at some stage but its hard. I take things to heart more than I used to and I know it will take time to build all these things back up to a normal level. All these things add to my stress and then I feel as though im not coping with things very well. I fail to give myself credit for what I have been through etc I just feel sad that I am saddled with fears relating to my past illness which are being triggered by the possibility of another pregnancy. I start comparing myself to others and think why should I have it so hard. Isnt it about time I had things easy now. Yes, I think relaxation is the key and I do as much as I can to do that and keep my life simple. Take care and will check in from time to time Smiley xx
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smiley
Senior Member
Posts: 268
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Post by smiley on Feb 27, 2009 11:37:02 GMT
P.S Just phoned APNI and she advised me to wait another 6 to 12 months before trying Thing is i dont want to wait and I feel totally ready for another one. I dont want pni to still rule my life nearly 2 years later. Fears need to be faced dont they? Or am I being stupid? It just feels right to me and I want to follow my heart. I am actually excited about trying again and it makes me happy to think of having another child ;D Re: intrusive thoughts she said I might still be ill! I dont feel ill! Yes, I have a very vivid imagination and always think the worse (my brain is trained to do that and I am untraining it) but I dont think im still ill just anxious. Sometimes highly and sometimes not. I am worried about the sexual intrusive thoughts tho?? umm why? and where are they coming from? My LO is safe and I CAN protect him. Why do I worry? Help! Smiley P.S
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Post by winegirl on Feb 27, 2009 14:15:53 GMT
Hey Smiley
My advice is to go with what you feel best. Only YOU know if you are ready for this. I do worry that you may not enjoy a second pregnancy as much as you should because of the worrying about it, but only you know if this is right for you or not...
You are bound to continue to be anxious for a while after PNI - it has had a MAJOR affect on your life! Doesnt mean its forever or that you are still ill though...
Always listening mate x
WG xxx
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smiley
Senior Member
Posts: 268
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Post by smiley on Apr 16, 2009 15:18:02 GMT
Hiya Im 4 days late and just alittle bit scared..! Havent tested yet but for some reason not in a rush to.. ;D Just didnt think it would happen so soon (thats if it has!). Anxiety levels are ok probably at about 0.5 out of 10. Im scared that i will fall ill again, like tomorrow or something, having the odd flickering anxiety thought now and again. Aahh the trials of tribulations of it all - wish I didnt have past history to worry about and torture me Smily xx
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Post by winegirl on Apr 17, 2009 10:07:47 GMT
Oooh test test test!! Just for my benefit as I want to know!! LOL
How are you doing this morning? I have lost your email as my computer died and i now have a new one - so when you get 5 drop us a line with it??
I am excited.... i need to know! LOL xx
Huge hugs (())
WG x
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smiley
Senior Member
Posts: 268
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Post by smiley on Apr 18, 2009 13:38:45 GMT
Hiya, I tested this morning and it was a positive! ;D
Im really happy and excited because I love being pregnant but im alittle scared too. I have had afew anxious thoughts and mild intrusive ones but hopefully they will level off and are only happening because I have just found out. I do worry abit about why these intrusive thoughts are still around when im anxious when I feel totally well and happy. I feel strong and ready to face everything I have coming to me. I know it will be hard but I have a strong support system around me and ofcourse you guys! I plan to enjoy every minute of being well.
I just didnt think it would happen so soon! We only started trying last month but I have got 8 months to get stronger and stronger. Keeping positive.
Thanks everyone esp winegirl! Would love to hear from anyone else who faced a second time or is planning to.
Love to all
Smily xx
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Post by winegirl on Apr 18, 2009 15:43:22 GMT
YYYYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Should have read this before I pm'd you!! LOL. I am soooooo pleased or you mate!
You will be great, and if you EVER need to moan/offload/or just want to keep us updated with your progress please do!!!!
Lots of Love
WG xxx
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Post by winegirl on Apr 25, 2009 9:19:58 GMT
Just a quickie to say am thinking about you and hope all is going well??
WG xxx
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smiley
Senior Member
Posts: 268
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Post by smiley on May 1, 2009 19:18:24 GMT
Thanks WG.
I just got back from holiday and had the worst time ever. About a week and half ago, for about 4 days, the intrusive thoughts got really strong. They were horrible and I was shocked and disgusted by them. I was totally terrified that they were back and so soon. I couldnt believe I was thinking these things and having these thoughts again, just like I used to, when I was ill. My life turned upside down and I have never been so scared. After about 4 days they became less strong and day by day they are getting less and now they are in the background. So thats been a week and half of them.
Now, I am so scared and convinced that I will get ill when the baby is born. I never thought I would get it again. How stupid of me. Once you have been well and got your life back you dont want to face that black hole again..
Smily xx
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Post by winegirl on May 1, 2009 19:37:48 GMT
Hey Smiley
I am sorry to hear that, please try to put it in perspective as a blip. This does not mean you are going backwards and the fact that you are geting over it so quickly this time ia really really good. Try to put it behind you now and concentrate on enjoying being pregnant...
Dont worry hun, I know it was crap for you but you are doing great. Everyone gets blips from time to time and you are at that prime hormonal peak stage so perfectly understandable. Hopefully things will just get better and better for you now.
You know where I am xxxx
WG x
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smiley
Senior Member
Posts: 268
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Post by smiley on May 2, 2009 15:01:33 GMT
Hi WG
Its so comforting, just to read your reply and know you are there with a rational response.
I never thought of it as a blip as I havent had one for about 6 months. I just thought my hormones can't take being pregnant and that means Im in for a rough ride from now on and I will definately get ill when the baby arrives. This made me feel so low. I just didnt expect it, mate.
You are right I did get over it quickly and now I would say it occurs around once a day but not as strong. I am feeling much much better. Yes, my hormones are at their peak and this is the only reason I can think of why it happened as it happened when I got off the pill too. Its like I need answers as to why it happened to rationalise it. I was just so shocked and scared. I felt like I was in a time warp back to 2007! I told my hubby and he didnt want to talk about it and my sister too, didnt know what to say. I felt so alone and unsupported as I was abroad too. My hubby has actually joked not to tell him if I fall ill again as he cant handle it! Great!
I dont know im just expecting to get ill now, is that a pessimistic or realistic view?? I will try to move on from it as I dont want to spend the rest of my pregnancy feeling anxious. Thanks so much for being here for me
Smiley xx
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Post by winegirl on May 3, 2009 14:59:47 GMT
Hi Hun
No worries x
Definately try not to expect that.. if you expect it you will eb analysing everything and in turn making yourself stressed which we all know is a trigger. Just accept it was a blip, we all get them from time to time, and try to relax and enjoy it.
You are doing good and just need some self belief!!
Always here and listening xx
WG x
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smiley
Senior Member
Posts: 268
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Post by smiley on May 4, 2009 18:24:26 GMT
Thanks WG, im feeling alot better and trying to moving on from it.
Keeping strong.
Smiley xx
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Post by winegirl on May 4, 2009 18:31:11 GMT
Go on girl! x
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