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Post by winegirl on Sept 11, 2008 7:44:54 GMT
Hi JM
Rant away, you are entightled too! I know I wouldnt put up with that. Its awful! I often really feel for husbands and partners as they do get a rough ride of it, but there is no need to be like that!
If my husband was like that with me I would punch him.
You poor things, sending you huge hugs (())...
WG x
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Post by justme31 on Sept 11, 2008 10:33:57 GMT
Believe me WG i feel like punching him......trouble is he would punch me back and knock me out!!! I know what u r sayin about partners getting a rough ride but I dont feel he does.......for months I havent hardly mentioned the PNI to him i have either spoke to u guys or my mates. I wouldnt mind but he moans more then anyone I know.....everyday I gotta listen to him go on about his family, his work being shit etc....I dont really wana listen to that but when you are with someone I thought u were meant to support each other through hard times. The trouble with splittin up with him is that people tell me wait until u feel better cos its a big decision and sometimes I think is it what I want or is it the PNI talkin.
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Post by cokey on Sept 11, 2008 10:58:57 GMT
Hi Claire
I am so sorry you are having a rough patch. I think I can explain it though. Like you said the thoughts arent as bad as they once were but now we feel low and tearful. I feel just the same and yes, I have had thoughts do I want to carry on like this. I think its the last dregs and we feel this way because we are just emotionally and physically drained of every last drop of our fighting spirit at this stage. Luckily we don't need it much anymore as we will soon feel better. Its so hard because we have felt this way for so long without any day-to-day support (other than on here) and its hard to see that it will be better soon. But it will. Remember last time you were ill. You did get better. So did I. Read the recovery section on here if you want a focus - I even wrote on here last time to say I was well.
As for your OH. You know what they say, all men are b**tards, just some are bigger b**tards than others. I think he is being a pig, but then Paul has been terrible with me whilst being ill. he is being nicer now I am better than I was. They can't cope with it but then again I remember when Paul was ill himself, it was awful and I got so mad with him at times. Many a time during PNI I have thought Paul has hindered my recovery but now I don't think he has, he just struggled to help me and it put a strain on him too. Bear with it a bit longer and if things arent better by Xmas, go for relate or something but I am sure you will be okay by then. But he's still a pig lol
Cokey xxx
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Post by cokey on Sept 11, 2008 10:59:32 GMT
PS Dont forget your kids are back at school which is rubbish too because they arent around for you.
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Post by winegirl on Sept 11, 2008 12:14:27 GMT
Hi JM
Know what you are saying. Its all ok putting everything down to PNI - but you still have a mind too!!
Perhaps its something you need to think long and hard about? But definately talk to him about it first...
WG xx
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Post by justme31 on Sept 12, 2008 7:17:03 GMT
Hi Cokey, WG, U right Cokey all men r deffo bstards!! I spoke to him last night and he says he finds it hard to understand cos he has never felt depressed(thats probably due to the amount of self medicating he does lol he takes more of my tranquilisers that I do!) Anyways that another story! What u said about still having a mind is so true WG.....I feel that everything is blamed on the PNI....like if my OH does something that pees me off everyone says oh u only feelin like that cos u depressed and I think no I aint.....I did get peed off with things even B4 the PNI!! Think maybe this blip is liftin a bit...Am feelin a hell of a lot better then I have been the last few days. Clairex
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Post by cokey on Sept 12, 2008 13:29:38 GMT
HI JM
Glad you are feeling better.
Don't get me wrong your OH is being a pig, but he will be worse whilst you have PNI because men can't handle it. Paul has been awful with me right up until I started getting better. The thing is once your PNI goes he will be better towards you and then it might be a relationship worth saving. You will always feel hurt by his attitude and never forget but the future may seem bright even to put up with his patheticness in the meantime.
Better go clean up, evie has cake!!!
Cokey xxx
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Post by justme31 on Sept 16, 2008 7:50:00 GMT
Hi all Am feelin a lot better....been a bit cranky the last few days but today I dont feel so bad. The last couple of days have been bad but I think I am finally acceptin that I have the OCD along with the PNI and that I aint some nutter!! Its weird what made me realise it......Like U all probably know I have the obsessive thoughts but also have a cleaning/germ obssession...anyways what made me accept i had the OCD was 2 days ago.... I went out and my uncle brought his skanky ass dog in my house whilst i was out. I came back and c this dog and my Obssessions went into overdrive I was crying and spent the whole night cleaning, de fleain my own dog and defleain and bleachin my whole house. My OH was tellin me u have to get a grip and I know how daft I sound but the thoughts were so bad...anyways think I have got to the point that I know its OCD and me and my OH had a long talk and i think it made him kinda have a bit more understanding about how bad things r with the thoughts. Hopefully today is gunna b a better day... the kids have had a punch up already, One of our hamsters has died and one of the other ones has managed to escape and i aint crackin up yet so things must b on the up lol Anyways better go look for the awol One...Its like findin a needle in a haystack!! Hope u r all ok xx
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Post by winegirl on Sept 16, 2008 7:58:57 GMT
LOL LOL JM
Oh my god, fighting kids, dead and missing hamsters - and you still have kept your head!! You are a better woman than me!
Hope your day chills out at some point soon!! xx
WG xx
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Post by cokey on Sept 16, 2008 20:49:31 GMT
HI JM
Not funny about the hamster but seriously!
Glad u seem a bit better xxx
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Post by justme31 on Sept 23, 2008 20:55:34 GMT
Hi all hope u r all good. Found the hamster the other day and buried the other one....My daughter was booin...dunno whos idea it was to get the blimin things in the 1st place!! Anyways just popped on to update my diary...aint been around for a few days..... have been better then i was last time I came on but am having a bit of trouble with the OCD thoughts(am back to thinkin that I am schizo again and that I am gunna start seein and hearing things. Its doing my head in sometimes I think I dont care if I go mad anymore I just dont wana keep worrying about it. Hope everyone else is good Big Hi to Wg, Cokey and TM Claire x
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Post by cokey on Sept 24, 2008 8:57:46 GMT
Hey JM Sorry about the hamster Thats good that you are fed up with worrying about it and dont care anymore. That means its almost gone. Its a pain in the arse but it will soon be gone. Cokey xxx
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Post by winegirl on Sept 24, 2008 9:35:07 GMT
Hi JM
Blip central mate. You know it will pass... You have been going so long between blips now hun that you are definately getting over it.
Sending you massive hugs mate...(())
WG x
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Post by justme31 on Sept 24, 2008 15:24:58 GMT
Am i gettin over it I dunno WG.....I seen to feel like I am gettin better then bang it hits me again and feels like this is never gunna end. Sorry I sound so negative!! Am So down today and the thoughts wont stop and am gettin that unreal feelin which scares the shit outta me. I think I know whats trigered all the schizo thoughts again(my mother turned up at the weekend and I had to deal with her madness so it set me off again) Also my friends daughter has been diagnosed with schizophenia.....I decided to bite the bullet and face me fear and go see her. Big mistake that was because its just set me off again worryin that I am seriously mentally ill and that no one has noticed.
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Post by cokey on Sept 24, 2008 15:58:57 GMT
Hi JM
Its rubbish isnt it. I hate blips because sometimes they make you so low because it feels like we will never be back to how we were. We will though you know but each blip it feels like maybe this time it will be too much. It won't, we managed with a lot worse, it just feels that way. I know how you feel.
The trigger will defo be your mates daughter. Just like me with the news story. If you didnt react, you would be cured and whilst we are almost better, we just have to deal with triggers now.
I could tell you you arent going to go schizophrenic and you could tell me Paul isnt going to kill us all but it won't help because the nature of the beast is that 1% doubt no one can eradicate.
Time will do that. Bear with it. Try and do something for the anxiety (sex or booze lol) and let us know how you are later.
Cokey xxx
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