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Post by littlelotty on Mar 6, 2008 9:35:11 GMT
Well not a good day yesterday, I didn't manage to get out of the house at all and although I tried just couldn't. I wanted to go back to the doctors to increase my medication but couldn't get out of the house. I woke up anxious and really down and spent most of the day on the computer, hardly did anything and then felt really bad for that. Didn't manage to get showered until 6pm when I knew my husband would be home shortly after.
It really frustrates me that I have days like these. Today I have woken up a bit better. I had to go out to take my LO to nursery so that forced me to go out which was good. I have made a doctors appointment for 10.05 this morning so hope they will increase the medication. Anyway had better go soon otherwise I will be late for that appointment and that will not be good! I will write later about yesterday and how it went with the doctors.
when will the illness go........?
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nishka
Senior Member
Posts: 207
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Post by nishka on Mar 6, 2008 11:23:55 GMT
Hi
Sorry to hear you are feeling so up and down - my depression is exactly the same. Its very frustrating. You just have to be kind to yourself and let it takes its course. I comfort myself by thinking that if I am on a down then an up is just around the corner.
Hope things go okay at the docs. Let us know how you get on.
Nishka xx
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Post by littlelotty on Mar 6, 2008 15:23:15 GMT
Well another bad day - went to the doctors and whilst I was waiting had a panic attack and thought I was going to have to leave but some how I didn't. I saw the doctor who was not very helpful. She said she cannot up my dose yet as I have only been on them for three and a half weeks but if I come back on monday they will up it!!!!
I said that I cannot get out of the house and when I do I have panic attacks and the medication has made me more anxious. She did not think it was the medication as it would not make people anxious! I am on Citalopram and 20mg. I said that during the week is the worse and I seem to manage on the weekends as I am around people and feel more relaxed. She has given me some Diazepam 2mg to get me through until monday! She said I should not drive when I take them and they will make you sleepy so anxious about taking them when I have my LO to look after! I then went and got them and went back to my house to get some more clothes etc as I am staying with my husband at his house. I just sat in the house and was crying feeling so guilty for all the past and wanted things to change and to feel better again. I hate not feeling myself and just want this to change. I am worrying about tommorrow again being on my own with my LO and how I will manage.
My husband said to meet up with him for lunch tommorrow which I may do to break up the day as he can take 2 hour lunch break on a friday.
It really seems to be during the week that is the hardest for me - I think because I am on my own during the day and get further down as the week goes on. The weekends have been good but I have not been on my own on a weekend.
When will I feel better? I just hope soon.....
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Post by Scarlet on Mar 6, 2008 15:26:08 GMT
Hi Littlelotty,
I'm glad you had a good day yesterday hun, and that the relate counselling went well, and that you managed to talk about some of the issues that are affecting you. It's good that you managed to make an appointment for counselling. I'm sure everything will be fine hun.
Well done for getting 65% in that quiz, despite coming last. It's ages since I've been to a pub quiz myself, but I used to enjoy going.
Hope you're cold has gone now, and that you are feeling as good as yesterday.
Love and hugs
Scarlet xxxx
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Post by Scarlet on Mar 6, 2008 15:29:27 GMT
OOps our posts crossed hun
Sorry to hear about the panic attack in the docs. I remember having a panic attack during one of my earlier appointments as well and almost left.
I promise you things will get better LL and that soon you won't give it a second thought when you are on your own.
xxxx
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Post by winegirl on Mar 6, 2008 19:16:28 GMT
Hi Littlelotty
Well personally I think your doctor is talking rubbish! Citalopram is an SSRI and all SSRI's carry the risk of actually increasing anxiety! When this happens they normally give you about 3 weeks to see if it subsides and if it doesnt they try you with another drug!
The same thing happened to me when they put me on Prozac, it sent me round the bend with anxiety, so after three weeks came of it and started on Cipralex and never looked back.
Feel free to print this post of and show it to your GP. It is a FACT that some SSRI's can increase anxiety in some people, its just about trial and error on finding the right one.
Let us know how things are going for you hun, i know how awful it is and am thinking of you xx
WG x
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Post by littlelotty on Mar 7, 2008 8:47:39 GMT
Well had a fairly good night. Got my LO from nursery around 5.30pm so I knew I wouldn't be on my own with her for long before my husband came home - I feel so bad in saying that. We bathed her and put her to bed around 7pm and then cooked dinner. We talked about my day and how I am very worried about taking diazepam. I looked up on the internet about it and the side effects and I am worried that I will not be in a fit state to look after my LO. We agreed that I should only take it when I am feeling really anxious and can't calm down and to try and make sure I am at home incase there is any side effects.
I fell asleep on the sofa around 8pm and slept all through until 3am when I woke up wide awake. I talked with my husband for about an hour or two and then went back to sleep. I do put him through the mill. He had to get up to go to work this morning and I am looking after my LO. She seems very hyper and full of energy and I am tired and want to go back to bed! I have arranged to meet up with my husband for lunch so it will break up the day and I can see someone!
Thanks WG for your note. I knew that the medication has made me more anxious and couldn't see why she didn't change or increase the dose but that they will on monday!! I am seeing another doctor on monday - she is much better and hope she will sort it all out!
lets hope I can have a good day although I am feeling really rough with my cold still and have a bad cough and have taken my medication as well as more cold and flu tablets this morning!!
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Post by sianyc on Mar 7, 2008 13:32:41 GMT
Hi
I was on escitalopram which is what WG takes and is basically citalopram but 20mg of citalopram is the same as 10mg of escitalopram. The dose you're on is very low and from what I can gather from my GP (and my mil who is on them too) it is usually a start off dose that will need to be increased after a few weeks as it won't work. I had some minor side effects when I first started them but they did get better after about 4-5 weeks. That said, these could not be for you and I'm sure the GP will be able to tell you that.
I hope you have a nice lunch with oh and a good weekend x
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Post by littlelotty on Mar 8, 2008 10:21:48 GMT
Had a good day yesterday. Took me a while to get my LO and myself ready and managed to leave the house at 11.15 which meant I was running a bit late but managed to meet up with my husband for lunch and it was really nice. I went shopping after as I was already in town and needed a few things. Then went back home and my LO fell asleep in the car and I manage to get her out and put her in her cot until 5pm which meant I got an hour or so break and did some cleaning and ironing.
My husband came home around 5.30pm so it meant the day went really fast on my own with my LO. We bathed her and put her to bed around 7pm and then had dinner. I watched a bit of telly and yet again fell asleep in front of the telly!! Had a good night sleep though and have woken up with my husband getting my LO up and giving her breakfast which was nice.
Hopefully we can have a nice day together, I always feel so much more relaxed when he is at home.
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Post by winegirl on Mar 8, 2008 10:58:37 GMT
Hi Littlelotty
Hope you have a lovely day together hun - and best of luck for your gp appt on monday - let us know it goes??? Will be thinking of you xxx
WG x
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nishka
Senior Member
Posts: 207
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Post by nishka on Mar 9, 2008 22:26:10 GMT
Good luck for your appointment tomorrow. Hope it goes well for you.
Love from Nishka xx
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Post by littlelotty on Mar 10, 2008 14:17:42 GMT
Had a good day on saturday and watched the football with my hubby and LO as we went for lunch. He is a mad footie fan so it was a good time and my LO behaved! We then came back home and played with my LO for a while and then bath and bed.
We made dinner and watched tele together and had a nice quiet night. On sunday I fell down the stairs with my LO and hurt my neck and knee but both of us were ok, shock me up a bit though. We both tried to get ready but the bathroom started leaking water, my LO was hyper and running around being a nightmare so it was quite stressfull. Thank god my in laws were looking after her for a couple of hours at 10am whilst my hubby and myself brought some more things back from my house to our joint home. I feel so much more relaxed now compared to what I was - I was stressed out at everything and lost all interest in the home and wanted to be out of it all the time. Now I can't get out of the house!
Had a couple of hours clearing some things out to our joint home which was nice and was able to sit down and read the paper and have lunch in peace! We went and collected my LO from the in laws and it has been the first time I have been to their house she we spilt up last August so it was a big step but they were very welcoming as always and this helped. We stayed for an hour and half and then went over to my friends with my LO and hubby for dinner. All the children were playing which was nice and once the children were in bed we were able to sit down for dinner in peace. We then came home and went to bed as it was late. The storm woke me up quite a few times last night and our fence has smashed and been damaged.
Woke up late this morning and this meant running around with my LO to get her to nursery and to the doctors for 9am! Got there with a min to spare! The doctor was different to last week and much nicer. She has increased my medication to 40mg of Citalopram. She has also signed me off work for another two weeks. Came back home amid the storms and sat and read the paper and fell asleep for a few hours. I feel really rough today still with my cold and cough and have been taking more medication with cold and flu tablets. Had no energy this morning and was sat on the sofa watching tele. Guess I have to accept I have to do this somethings although I feel guilty! Better get on and get things done this afternoon otherwise I will feel like I have wasted a day!
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Post by winegirl on Mar 10, 2008 14:32:41 GMT
Hi Littlelotty
Great that you are doing so well hun, though you seem to be super busy! Try to pace yourself hun!
I hope your cold is better soon hun, did you watch Jeremy Kyle this morning? Thats always a good thing to be glued too when you are feeling under the weather!
Take Care
WG x
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Post by littlelotty on Mar 11, 2008 9:30:13 GMT
Well managed to clean the whole house from top to bottom in the afternoon yesterday and did some ironing. I then went and got my LO from nursery and brought her back home, she was tired I think but hard work and pushing everything to the limit!!!
Got her bathed and my hubby came home whilst she was having her milk. Got her in bed and then made dinner. Sat and watched some tele and then went to bed. I am having a lot of problems the last few nights sleeping and last night was the worst. It does not help that I have this cough and was coughing all night but I was waking nearly every hour and then couldn't get back to sleep.
I have started my 40mg today so hope that might make me sleep better at night.
I understand what you say WG about being busy but I feel so guilty if I don't do something every day but I am getting tired so have taken on board your advice. I spoke to my hubby about it last night and he said that he does not expect me to do anything.
I am watching the Jeremy Kyle show so will be good to sit still and watch it. I have relate tonight and a night of my LO and really looking forward to it as I really enjoy talking to my hubby and resolve things also we have a night to ourselves and it feels like old times.
I am still feeling really down in mood and my hubby said last night you seem down and not yourself, I can't seem to pick myself up so hoping the medication will help.
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Post by sianyc on Mar 11, 2008 10:29:57 GMT
Hi
I'm pleased it went ok for you at the doctor's. I found the increase can take a couple of weeks to kick in properly and for the side effects I had to go. I was a bit spaced for a few days after starting a bigger dose but this soon settled down once I took them at night and not in the morning.
Things will pick up lovely and meanwhile we're here for you to talk to x
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