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Post by littlelotty on Mar 15, 2008 8:43:43 GMT
Had a good day yesterday - we all got showered and ready and went to monkey business which is a soft play area. My hubby went in with my LO and I sat and read the papers - how nice was that. He loved it and is a big kid so it was as much for my LO as it was for her. We had lunch there and then he took her back in for a bit.
We went home and my LO fell asleep for a couple of hours which was great! We put our fences in the garden back up as they all got blown down with the storm. I was having great fun with the hammer and we were both laughing so much with it.
Did a bit of ironing and then my LO woke up. She had a play around and then we gave her tea which my hubby made for her. She then played and was very funny. We bathed her and she was in bed for 7pm. We had dinner which I made! We then sat and watched Sport Relief and I was laughing so much as the ground force -top gear bit that I was crying with laughter!!!
Went to bed about 11.30 and took my AD at night again. I had a better night sleep without any diazepam - although I woke a couple of times I am not so tired this morning. It was so nice to have my hubby at home yesterday and it felt so much easier with my LO.
My hubby is of to watch football as he is a season ticket holder, so this afternoon I will be on my own which I am not looking forward to but I think I will try and go out as it is easier!
I am starting to feel a lot happier and that the meds are working. My hubby said this morning that I have been happier the last couple of days. It is certainly helping to take my meds at night!
Thanks for all your notes. I am really enjoying replying to other ladies and it is nice to support others. I just hope what I write is ok!!
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Post by winegirl on Mar 15, 2008 9:22:36 GMT
Hi Littlelotty
Sounds like a lovely day hun!! In fact, you have just inspired me to take my LO up to the soft play area today x Hope you manage to get out with LO while OH is at football! My OH works weekends so I am on my own with LO all weekend and finding getting out makes things tons easier and makes the day go a bit quicker!
Have a great day mate xx
WG x
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Post by littlelotty on Mar 16, 2008 9:41:24 GMT
Had a fairly good day yesterday, I was stressed at times with LO but managed to get through day somehow! We had a chill out morning and got ready and went for a walk with hubby and LO. We got paper on the way back and LO fell asleep in buggy so we were able to sit and read paper and have lunch whilst LO was asleep. She woke up and had lunch and was hyper.We all cleaned the house and I was stressing about the state it was in, even though I clean it everyday! My OH left for football at 1.30pm and I cleaned the leaves outside.
I went to my house to pick up some more things with my LO and she was a nightmare refused to walk with me and nearly ran into the road. I had a big box I was carrying and it is so much harder to do anything with a LO anymore, things used to be so easy! I managed to get all that I needed and came back to the house when yet again she refused to come into the house but this time I got her in!
She was a nightmare all afternoon. She refused to sleep which she normally has a afternoon nap, she was throwing the cat litter, putting things down the toilet, emptying all the cupboards and was just into everything. I was following after her cleaning up! I was soooooo glad when my OH came home and I think he sensed I was very stressed by this point and took over with my LO.
We got her bathed and ready and although she was hyper and OH said he was glad when she goes to bed - I knew she must of been bad for that as he has so much energy and patience!
I was able to get ready for our night out whilst my OH dealt with our LO, I was able to wash and straighten my hair, make up on and all dressed up which was really nice. Our babysitter turned up and we were both glad to get out. We had a really nice meal and was able to chat about most things which was nice. The place we went to was really quiet and not too many people in which was also good. My hubby's friends and their partners turned up later which we had planned. I get on really well with all of them and particularly one of their partners - we are really good friends and have planned to play squash together on wednesday so that should be a good laugh! It was a really nice night and felt like old times when we didn't have our LO. We were out until 11.30 so it was a good night considering we left the house at 7.30pm! I think my hubby really enjoyed it as well as he likes time together and he got to see his mates, which we all get on with. I haven't seen them since we broke up apart from the one I am playing squash with and they were all so good and welcoming back into the group!
I didn't drink either as I thought this was not good with the meds but I am not a big drinker and I was driving so I don't mind this. We went to bed and again I didn't have a great night sleep, kept waking all through the night and I have decided to take my dizaepam again tonight as I have tried for three nights now without taking it but I am getting tired and down again. We are going to fun city - another soft play area this morning and meeting up with another friend and her three children who we are very close to - we see them every week so I am looking forward to this.
I am finding that by the evening I am getting stressed again and feel like my meds are not doing their job. I am taking them at night so I don't know if they have worn off and not working or if it is in my head! I know I need some more sleep but always worry about becoming addicted to the diazepam!
Did you go to the soft play are yesterday WG. I do not know how you cope without your OH at weekends, I think I would lose the plot! Hope you had a good day anyway.
Well better get ready otherwise I will be late!
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Post by winegirl on Mar 16, 2008 10:54:35 GMT
Hi Littlelotty
You did well to deal with your LO yesterday! When my LO is like that it sends me over the edge! I actually for the first time ever took my LO swimming yesterday, something I never thought i would be able to do - and she loved it! Very proud of myself.
Sounds like last night was fab for you hun! I love nights like that that remind you of who you were before motherhood!
I cant believe you clean your house everyday!! I only manage it once a week! (today is cleaning day here), your place must be spotless!
Glad to see things are really picking up for you, I hope you can get the sleep ting sorted soon. If you dont want to get reliant on the diazepam you could ask your GP for a course of sleeping tablets? I believe these are non addictive?
Spk Soon
WG xx
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Post by littlelotty on Mar 17, 2008 10:26:23 GMT
Had a good day yesterday. Our LO was still hyper but at least there was two of us to deal with her. I said I think she has ADHD!!! We got ready and went to fun city to meet my friend and all the children played in the soft play area which was nice. My OH was in with her so I could sit and chat and as always read the sunday papers - I love reading the papers particularly on sunday. We used to before our LO sit in the bed on a sunday morning reading the paper for a few hours so it is nice to be able to do this. We has lunch there and played a bit more.
We went home and out LO fell asleep for a couple of hours which was lovely!!! When she woke up we went for a walk in the woods which was great as our LO was walking all the way and she loved it! We gave her tea and she was running riot in the house. We bathed her and gave her milk and then put her to bed. I was soooo tired by this point - I do not know how people cope with their LO on their own 7 days a week!
I cooked dinner and watched tele - dancing on ice final which was really good - wish I could skate like that! I took my AD and Diazepam last night in the hope that I would get a better night sleep but I still had a really restless night and I am so tired this morning and down! My OH took my LO to nursery as he is on training today so went to work a bit later. I had to take him to the train station but it is only around the corner. So I had a bit of a lay in and didn't have to manage with my LO.
I want to feel better and yet again on a weekday I am down! The health visitor is coming at 1.30pm to by house, So I have to go out to go there. I am wondering if I should tell her that I am bascially living at my husbands home and am moving back in the next month.
In response to your message WG - I used to be really messy and one of the issues me and my hubby had as he is very clean. Since being off work and on the AD I have become I think obsessed with cleaning and get really agitated if it is not clean, hence why I am cleaning everyday. I am gald you went swimming with your LO - I take mine sometimes and she loves it too. I think I will ask my Gp for sleeping tablets - do they make you drowsy the next day? what side effects do they have?
I have a busy week but have no energy. Luckily my OH is on training three days which means shorter days and it is bank holiday friday so he has the day off!
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Post by Scarlet on Mar 17, 2008 11:02:08 GMT
Hi Littlelotty, The play area sounded fab. I used to take my eldest (now almost 11) to burn off energy when he was younger. How did the afternoon go whilst your hubby was at football? Being on your own is always hard to start off with, but does get easier. Re: your LO's hyperactivity, did you ever try cutting out some e-numbers in your LOs diet, and introduce fish oils?. Check out the following site if you get chance, it tells you which ones can cause hyperactivity. Worth a try hun, I tried it for my eldest when he was a toddler. www.curezone.com/foods/enumbers.aspwww.growingkids.co.uk/ENumbersToAvoid.htmlanother nice site www.foodreactions.org/allergy/additives/Take care hun, Scarlet xxxx
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Post by katiev on Mar 17, 2008 19:35:37 GMT
Hi, I havent had chance to read all your posts but the ones I did read sounded so much like how I feel- I dread days alone with my LO, I just feel like I bide time until my partner comes home or until I put her to bed and I hate that. The lovely days you've described have given me hope that I will be able to enjoy my baby as much as I want to soon, if I can get rid of all the insecurity and panic attacks. I've got my first counselling session on thursday and I'm really nervous so I will be thinking of you on the 25th. You seem to really give everything lots of thought and that you know where all your feelings are coming from so I reckon that you will do really well. Anyway, I have to go and make tea (although Id much rather just go to bed!), so I hope youve had a good day katiev x
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Post by winegirl on Mar 17, 2008 19:53:16 GMT
Hi Littlelotty
As far as I am aware sleeping tablets do not make you drowsy the next day, but I am unsure of any side effects. I know Jay who comes on here has had sleeping tablets so it might be worth asking her what her experiences were.
How has today been? Sounds like you had an ace day again yesterday!
Take Care
WG x
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Post by Scarlet on Mar 18, 2008 10:05:09 GMT
I think I will ask my Gp for sleeping tablets - do they make you drowsy the next day? what side effects do they have?
Hi LL, just saw this...for the first 3 months of my illness I took sleeping tablets and I expected to feel drowsy, but didn't at all...as for side-effects, didn't notice any at all.
How are you feeling today hun?
xxxx
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Post by littlelotty on Mar 18, 2008 10:41:53 GMT
I had a fairly good day yesterday, no panic attacks which was good. I do find the day after I have taken the dizaepam I am much more calmer but do not want to rely on these.
I took my hubby to train station and then came back and watched Jeremy kyle and a bit of this morning as well as being on the computer. I then went to my house as the health visitor was coming, cleaned up and hoovered and put some washing on. The health visitor came and she stayed for hour and a half!!!!! She said I sounded a lot more happier and different from two weeks ago. I talked through my LO being hyper and she didn't feel it was any ADHD or similar but that she is adjusting to change and is picking up that I am vulnerable and is pushing me. She said I need to be consistent with parenting and using the naughty step which I do so it helped to know that I am doing the right things. She agreed that sleeping tablets would be better than diazepam so I will ask the gp next week for them.
I then went to homebase to get some paint to touch up paint for my house as there are some marks I need to touch up. I went to asda to get some essentials and surprisingly it was very quiet!!!
I dropped some of my LO toys around her grandparents as she needs some more there and we have so many now we have two houses! Came home and two things I put on ebay sold for £60 so I was really pleased with this as that will help with some more money! We are trying to combine two houses into one so we have doubles of everything! SO will be doing some car boots in the summer - my hubby loves these - I think he wants to be an arthur daley!!
I picked up my hubby from the train station and we went to get my LO from nursery. We came back and played for a bit and she was hyper as usual! Gave her a bath and milk as she was sooooo tired. Put her to bed around 6.45pm and she went straight to sleep! Cooked dinner and did some ironing and washing up. My hubby played football last night so he left at 8.30pm but was back by 10pm as it is only 5 a side indoor footie.
He talked about this site and wanted me to show him. I said that there is a section for the men on there and he was very interested. He ended up reading lots of them until around 12.30am!! I went to bed at 11pm and left him to it. I did say he should write and start a thread but he said he wouldn't know where to start. He said this morning that it was nice that other men felt the same as him and he found it really helpful. I will try and encourage him to write something on there.
My LO woke up early this morning around 6.15am so not so good. She was still tired though and got her top all caught up. Got her ready for nursery and gave her milk and my hubby offered to take her to nursery which was great for me as I was able to go back to sleep! Woke up around 8.30am and took my hubby to train station. Have been to the post office and sent one of the ebay items - started to get really anxious as everyone was looking at me again and it was a big queue but got it all done. Have come back and just having breakfast.
I have to go to my house this afternoon as I have british gas coming so will be doing things there. We also have relate tonight so looking forward to that as always!
Thanks for all your messages - I really like getting the support back. And KatieV comments were lovely - thank you. Hope you are all well and I will let you know if my hubby posts a thread.
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Post by winegirl on Mar 18, 2008 18:39:57 GMT
Hi Littlelotty
It would be lovely to hear from you hubby! We are here for him too!
Well done you one doing so well! Keep it up babes, you should be proud of yourself!
Love WG x
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Post by littlelotty on Mar 19, 2008 10:57:15 GMT
Well have a fairly good day yesterday. I went over to my house for about 11.30am and put some washing on and had a bit of a tidy up. Packed up some more things to bring back - there is so much I have no idea where it is all going to go!! The gas man came and sorted out the meter. I also painted the wall that needed a touch up. I then went to get my car cleaned in the car wash as it was a right state!! Wanted to clean inside but everyplace the hoover was broken - no idea what is going on around here!
Packed all my things and my hubby called and said he was finished early from his course so I picked him up at 3.30pm!! We unloaded the car and unpacked the boxes which was good and then went to get our LO from nursery - she had a good day although was very tired and was very stroppy and aggressive. We got her bathed and milk and took her to grandparents as it was relate.
We went for a meal before which was good and we chatted about some of the past. Our relate session was really good. I love going there. She was able to go back into some of my childhood and explained to my hubby that I have very very low self-worth and because no one in my life has either stuck around or not abused me then I cannot believe that someone could be nice and that I deserve it. It really helped me. I was also able to tell him about more affection. I jump out of my skin if my hubby kisses me when I am half a sleep or asleep and my hubby describes it as if I have been attacked! The trouble is it brings back very bad memories of when I was abused and we were able to talk about it and I said that he has to stop doing this as I don't think I can ever be comfortable with him doing that. We also touched on the overdose and how my hubby will not talk about it or the affair and the counsellor said we need to. My hubby is angry at me for doing the overdose as well as understanding why I did it. There is a long way to go but we both want this to work so I am 100% sure it will.
We came home after the session as we were both tired. We had a bit more of a chat and then went to bed. I slept quite well for a change and have woken up with a bit more energy. I am playing squash tonight with my friend for the first time so really looking forward to this.
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Post by sianyc on Mar 19, 2008 19:30:07 GMT
I replied a few days ago and just now realised that it has disappeared - how annoying! I must have hit the wrong button.
just wanted to say that I'm pleased the Relate is going well for you both x
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Post by winegirl on Mar 19, 2008 21:21:58 GMT
Have a lovely time at squash Littlelotty! God you must be fit, i get tired watching people play squash!
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Post by littlelotty on Mar 20, 2008 8:53:12 GMT
Had a fairly good day yesterday. Took my hubby to the train station and then went to my house as I remember that I left my heating on constant the day before - how annoying - I woke up thinking that and couldn't get back to sleep worrying about it. I went on the computer for a bit and cleaned the house a bit. I then grouted the bathroom floor which looks better now. I did all the ironing whilst watching the tele.
Went to the local shop and brought and send my sister a birthday card as it is her birthday today. Then went to my in laws house as my LO was there and I wanted to clean the inside of my car as it was in a right mess!! My LO was funny and running everywhere - I took some more toys over there and she loved them. When she went down to sleep I cleaned my car which took me an hour!!!!!!!!!!!!
Picked up my hubby from the train station and came back to pick up my LO as she had just woken up when we got back - although she had done a huge pooh that went all up her back - how lovely!
Brought her back home and gave her tea - she got her tea everywhere and was covered in it. She had a yoghurt for pudding and she decided to smear this all over her face and hair and highchair and floor. We bascially took all of her clothes off her and washed her! She than run riot in the house - she does like to play us up, we are certain that she has hit the terrible twos and she is only 18 months so god help us! Bathed her and gave her milk and she went to sleep. I cooked dinner and watched a bit of telly and felt so tired I thought there is no way I am going to play squash but picked up my mate and we went and had a really good time. We played for just over an hour and she won but she is super fit - she had been to the gym during her lunch yesterday, played football after work and then squash with me so I stood no chance I guess! It was really good though and gave me a burst of energy - I was sweating and red after that though!!! I came home showered and then sat on the sofa and fell asleep!!! my Hubby woke me up and got me upstairs although I don't remember that! I forgot to take me AD last night as I fell asleep so I have taken it this morning and then will go back to taking it tonight - hope that is ok. I slept fairly well although I woke up so tired but my LO was crying and had to get up to take her to nursery. She was awful this morning, crying non-stop and throwing herself on the floor and kicking her arms and legs - have no idea what is up with her. Took her to nursery and she was fine - I think it must be me and that she is happier when she is not with me. I am meeting up with a friend for lunch and then have reflexology at the local college - it is only £10 so bargain and I am really looking forward to this - I know WG is a lover of this!
Hope you are all well.
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