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Post by cheshire on May 13, 2009 11:56:58 GMT
Hope things are still going well
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Post by littlelotty on May 20, 2009 21:15:00 GMT
Well finally given in and went to the doctors yesterday as i just cant manage this mood swings - two weeks of every month with severe PMT - i get really low, suidical thoughts, crying all the time etc etc and i have just got to the point of not being able to put up with it. I went to the doctors and cried so much - was in there about 20 mins!! She was excellent and got toys out for lucy and said that i am doing well considering i am a single mum and in a stressful job. I said that i think all the time that i am the worst mother ever and screwing up Lucy and she will be better off without me in her life. She replied saying if i wanted to screw her up then not being in her life would do it! She said she needs me and that children do need to know how to manage difficult times and it equips them as adults. She said if she had a perfect childhood and became an adult and had a hard time she wouldnt have the tools to know how to manage it. Makes sense but just wish i could feel it.
I went into the new childrens centre yesterday as well and said that i need support and feel i am dipping down especially with my confidence and ability to manage lucy. She is just hard work at the moment.
I also phoned the mental health team today as they were going to close my case and said that i need it kept open and they are going to transfer it to the local team to myself which is good.
The doctor gave me some anti-depressants and i really didnt want to go on them but she said to try and them and it is all about finding the right one. She said if you had any other illness that needed medication to help you - you would take it but because it is a mental illness people dont like taking it. I guessed she was right so took it today. Hate the feeling though - the feeling of sickness and jaw moving etc etc - i am sensitive to all meds so hope this will be ok.
Anyway i know i havent been on here for a while - i try to avoid it to think i am fine!
Take care
Littlelotty xxx
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Post by cokey on May 21, 2009 9:07:44 GMT
Hi C
I just want to say you are not alone. I am exactly the same. Every month around the time of my period for about 2 weeks all my PNI symptoms come back. the dip in mood, the crying and the suicidal thoughts. Its just awful. Then mid-cycle I am happy as Larry. Its definitely hormonal but like you even though we know that, the dip in mood is just too difficult to climb out of at the time. Afterwards I see it clearly for what it was, but at the time its very very scary.
Do you think thats part of recovery, in that we used to feel like that all the time, this is the next step where are hormones are trying to regulate a bit but just arent quite right yet and then finally they will and we will be well again.
I hope it goes well with the ADs, you know the score, give them a few weeks but if they don't suit you, try another.
Don't forget, someone without PNI would find things hard in your situation. So you are bound to be more anxious than usual.
And I agree you little girl needs you more than you think and the GP is right about kids learning about life. Easier said than done though to believe in yourself.
How are you today?
Candice xx
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Post by winegirl on May 21, 2009 19:14:41 GMT
Hey LL
You know we are all right behind you while you are struggling hun. And well done you on making all those positive steps in getting yourself help and support! I know it prob feels like you have taken a few staps back, but what you have done will certainly get you through this quicker..
How are you doing today?? I am thinking of you x
WG x
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Post by littlelotty on May 21, 2009 20:46:23 GMT
Hi All
Yeh feeling better - it is strange how i feel better as i know the meds take a couple of weeks to kick in but i havent cried today which is a really good start and just been more positive!
Heres hoping small steps and a big stride forward will happen!!! At least as you said WG that i didnt let it get like it did last time!
oh and they let me work from home tomorrow which is great as i can chill out and work rather than the 1 hour drive each way and stress in work - need to chill out at home and write reports!
Thanks again for all of your support.
Take care
LL XX
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Post by cokey on May 22, 2009 10:22:09 GMT
Glad to hear you are taking steps forward. PMT is ridiculously awful after PNI and it can and has done with me, throw you right back to where you started but it does pass.
I hope you are nejoying your chilled day.
Keep us informed how you are.
Cokey xx
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Post by nicola1712 on May 22, 2009 10:57:24 GMT
Hiya
Know how you feel too hun - my PMT used to throw me back all the time - felt like two steps forward one step back, but the meds do help.
Glad you are feeling a bit better past day or so - long may it continue...
xxx
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Post by littlelotty on May 22, 2009 21:11:46 GMT
Had a good day today considering Lucy woke up at 4.30am - i get the thoughts that she is picking up things from me but i am trying my best to hide everything. We had a good cuddle in bed and then she played for hours until nursery lol.
Had a day working from home which was lovely as i got all my washing done lol, I did manage to write a huge report and got loads of work done so nice chilled out day! Just what i needed!
It is so strange as i know it takes a couple of weeks for the meds to kick in but i already feel a bit better and happier - keep waiting for the bubble to burst!
Hope everyone is ok.
LL XX
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Post by winegirl on May 23, 2009 7:05:32 GMT
Yeah!! So please you are picking up LL! I love working from home, its my favourite thing ever! But what are you still doing awake so late last night having got up at 04.30?? I would have been done in for!!
WG xx
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Post by nicola1712 on May 23, 2009 11:14:00 GMT
Working from home rules cos you get so much other stuff done at the same time - I did it loads while I was on maternity leave - bit difficult to teach from home this time round though!
xx
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Post by sianyc on May 29, 2009 10:32:27 GMT
Hey LL
4.30am - OMG I'd be like a zombie. I get to work from home a bit and am waiting on an encrypted laptop so I can do it every week around the kids. LOVE IT. Get tons of work done and feel like I've relaxed at home. Definately the way forward for working mums.
I went back on the meds a few months back cos the anxiety had come back with a vengeance. This time around, my attitude to the meds is much more relaxed. I can see the benefits it gives....makes me less short tempered, helps me sleep and stops me stressing out.
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larsbars
Senior Member
Mummy to Daisy 3 1/2 & Jamie 2.
Posts: 415
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Post by larsbars on Aug 13, 2009 22:22:20 GMT
Hi LL,
Just wanted to see how you were and wondered if you got your hormone test results back yet
x
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Post by littlelotty on Sept 7, 2009 21:07:51 GMT
Hi All
Havent written on here for a while. Been avoiding things i think!!! Things have got so much better - i am back with my hubby and we are about to move into a new home and i am so excited about a new start as i bloody need it.
I am still on anti-depressants and will remain on these for a long time i feel - i dont want to come off them!
I am still working full time as a social worker and every week think i need to get out of the job so will have to see how things go but i really feel so different to how i was.
Everything else is going well though and hope everyone else is ok
xxx
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Post by nicola1712 on Sept 8, 2009 10:33:00 GMT
Lovely to hear you are doing so well lately. Good news about you getting back with hubby and you sound more settled too.
Good luck with the house move and don't lose the kettle!
xxx
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Post by winegirl on Sept 8, 2009 10:45:23 GMT
Hugs to you and hope things just keep looking up for you xx Lots of Love WG xx
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