larsbars
Senior Member
Mummy to Daisy 3 1/2 & Jamie 2.
Posts: 415
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Post by larsbars on Apr 1, 2008 21:38:57 GMT
Hi LL,
I forgot to ask...where abouts in Hampshire are you? Don't worry if you don't want to write it on here but I just wondered as I am in Reading which borders Hampshire.
x
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Post by littlelotty on Apr 2, 2008 9:59:12 GMT
Hi Larsbars - I will pm you.
I have just written loads on here and lost it all so really annoyed now. I think I will have to come back to this later as I can't write it all again at the moment! Lets just say it has been a mixed 24 hours and we had our relate last night which we talked about our arguement that morning and we are trying to work through it. We also talked about the sucidial thoughts I had and my OH is really struggling with this and cannot understand why I would want to leave him or our LO and die! I wish I could make him understand - the counsellor was great and tried but don't think he is getting it still.
Anyway have a busy day - going to take my LO and her counsin(four weeks apart from each other!) to their nursery as there is a farm coming to them and they get to feed the animals etc and we have to stay with them - what a shame!!
Also have squash tonight so looking forward to that.
Anyway got a very shortened version of what I had written!!!
Hope everyone is ok
LittleLotty
xx
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Post by winegirl on Apr 2, 2008 11:54:20 GMT
Hi LittleLotty A few weeks ago a local farm brought animals to my LO's nursery and i was gutted when they said i couldnt go and join in! I really wanted to hold the little chicks, stroke the rabbits etc...  LO loved it though, bet yours will too! Have a nice time at squash tonight hun xx WG x |
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Post by littlelotty on Apr 3, 2008 9:22:53 GMT
Well had a really good day yesterday. was on the computer for a while until I went to get my LO and her cousin and their great grandmother and we went to their nursery for the farm animals and they loved it. My LO was stroking the little pony and the pigs and running around as usual but was really funny and has so much confidence and get up and go and it was really nice to see that. All the other children love to play with her and she is very much liked by all staff so I was very proud of her! Her cousin lacks a lot of confidence and was crying when we got near the pony so I was feeling slightly less guilty about the past affecting her as it clearly has made her confident and outgoing. I can see so many qualities of my old self in her - lots of people say it is like a mini me!!!
Took them back and my LO fell asleep for two hours so I sat and read the paper and chatted to my father in law and great grandmother and it was nice. I was able to reslove something with my father in law which made me feel a bit better as well. Gave my LO dinner and then took her back home as my OH was back from work. Went back and my LO was playing in the garden in her swing with my hubby. I then went to squash and it was so hot last night and I was beaten 4-0!!! I tried really hard but my super fit friend had a bad day and took all her frustrations out on the squash so I guess I stood no chance! I enjoyed it anyway and it was good to do some exercise!
I then came back and had to get dinner ready and we then had to sort the house out as we have someone coming to paint the whole of the downstairs today so nightmare time!!! But we coped and then we moved the fridge freezer and it looked like it was burnt out at the back and it was really hot and I could smell burning. It is an old one and I said that we are getting a new one as it is a fire hazard and I had visions of the whole house being set on fire. So I went online and have ordered one and it is being delivered on tuesday so I am pleased about that. I seem much more positive again and I am actually thinking about going back to work and I think I could manage it although it is unlikely I will be going back until May time as work wont allow it.
Well have a busy day - couselling later as well as reflexology after that so had better get ready!!!
Hope everyone has a good day
LittleLotty
xx
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Post by Scarlet on Apr 3, 2008 10:40:40 GMT
Hi LL,
Glad you had a good day yesterday, sounds like it was busy. Still amazed at the squash, think I would collapse if I did one round. I always have to dodge the ball as well, cos it comes at you at such a speed.
Let us know how you get on with the counsellor hun...Ooooo the reflexology sounds lovely, are you going to the college for it?
xxxx
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Post by cokey on Apr 3, 2008 11:05:11 GMT
|Hi LL
You sound so positive this week Little Lotty. I am so pleased you had a good day at the farm thing.
Take care
Cokey xxx
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Post by winegirl on Apr 3, 2008 20:22:44 GMT
Hi LL
Decorating, squash, counselling, reflexology... do you ever stop!? LOL x
Glad you are feeling more upbeat hun and hope the reflexology went well (i say as i am sitting here green with envy!) xx
WG x
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Post by littlelotty on Apr 3, 2008 22:33:56 GMT
No I don't stop WG, I just can't!!! The counselling was so good. I was really worried as there was a really old man in the office and I thought that is the counsellor and there was no way I would be able to talk to him - he reminded me of my abuser and I was starting to get really worried. Thank god it wasn't him but another male and he was very good and it went so fast. I think I am going to get my money's worth and give him a hard time.
I walked out laughing to myself thinking he is going to think - god got a right one here!!! Then had the reflexology - yes scarlet it was at the college and it was a third year student who works at the local 5 star hotel where all the footballers go - it cost me £10 - well I have paid £20 for 3 sessions - that was their offer - can't believe how cheap it was. Nearly fell asleep!!! and really relaxed me - she was very good! She said my hormones are not balanced! how right is she!!!!!!!
Well I am feeling a lot more positive today and have been laughing a lot. I was in fits of laughter on the way home - laughing fit I think and haven't been like that in months! I have also been really thinking about work and how much I want to go back. I know it wont be until may but really wanting to now which is a good sign!
You should ring your local college WG and ask them prices as they are so cheap for reflexology - or any of the treatments - can't believe I didn't think of it before!!!!
Hope everyone has a good day tommorrow and take care
LittleLotty
xx
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Post by littlelotty on Apr 4, 2008 15:13:00 GMT
I cant believe how happy I have been today - it feels like the old me is really back - even if it is just for one day!!! I have been so much happier, smiling, chatty and full of beans and energy. There has been no down moments and when any bad thought gets near I brush it off and think of something else quick. I went into work this morning to see everyone and took my LO with me. She looked so cute in her pigtails!!!
Everyone was really pleased to see me and I was ther for 1.5 hours and it was really nice to catch up with everyone. There was also a report with lots of praise from a panel from a meeting so that was good news - they were saying how good a job I have been doing on one case they were dealing with!
I spoke to my manager and she was great and really supportive and she even said she felt like the old me had come back - I seem a lot happier!
I then went to meet my OH for lunch with our LO and it was such a nice day and it was great to meet up with him. I was full of beans and really happy and managed my LO with no problems. She was laughing when we walked back to the car and I just thought what a day!!!
It finally feels that the old me is back and i am on the road to recovery even though I know there is going to be plenty more down days it feels like I have turned a corner.
Hope everyone has enjoyed the sunshine today!
LittleLotty
xx
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Post by cokey on Apr 4, 2008 16:10:06 GMT
Gosh Little Lotty what a great example you are of what a difference a few days makes eh?
So pleased you are feeling brighter.
Cokey xx
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Post by winegirl on Apr 4, 2008 20:28:04 GMT
Hi LL
Yes i did email one of the colleges that does this treatment and they said to call their beauty desk for details! They are a few miles down the road from me, but if teh price is cheap enough i dont mind putting a bit more fuel in my car! And i really do swear by reflexology x
How has your day been today hun? You managed to find some time to put your feet up yet?
WG x
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larsbars
Senior Member
Mummy to Daisy 3 1/2 & Jamie 2.
Posts: 415
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Post by larsbars on Apr 4, 2008 21:10:31 GMT
Hi Littlelottie,
I haven't been on for a couple of days but I wish I had after reading your posts from the last couple of days. I'm still feeling ill and really low but it is lovely to read how well you are getting on. It sounds like hormones don't agree with you at the moment because you are like a different person from last week. I am so happy for you to have been feeling like your old self. It gives you something to hold on to and remember how you used to feel. I have had moments like that and I try and make the most of them. I know I'll be back there properly one day! I'm pleased that you managed to resolve something with your father in law as well. That must be a bit of a weight off of your mind. Things sound like they are looking up for you!
I hope you have a lovely weekend
xx
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Post by littlelotty on Apr 5, 2008 7:35:09 GMT
Hi I am amazed at what the last few days have been like and cannot believe the difference from last weekend. It sounds like the hormones have not helped me at all - it is amazing how much they can affect you! I didn't sleep very well last night and had a really bad nightmare that has knocked me for six! I woke up from it at 2.30am and was wide awake and too scared to get back to sleep. I woke my OH up and we talked for a bit. I was thinking about coming on the computer but sat in bed until I must of gone back to sleep but it took ages and every bad thought went through my mind. I was really not prepared for last night after a good week. I am tired this morning and my OH has gone to wembley to watch Portsmouth!! He left at 7.30am and will not be back until 7-8pm tonight. I have planned the day with my LO as I have her on my own. I am going to fun city - the local soft play area to make her tired, bring her home, give her lunch and then she will go to sleep for a bit and I will put my feet up and then maybe go to the shops when she wakes up. I wish the nightmares would stop as I have been so positive and happy during the daytime. Does anyone know about nightmares?  Well lets hope I can have a good day today and get through this. Take Care LittleLotty xx |
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Post by winegirl on Apr 5, 2008 7:43:09 GMT
Hi LL
I have been getting the nightmares since being on the meds. They started off as all the time but they are not so frequent now. However they do freak me out and then i feel really tired the next day. I have learned to wake from them though and then get straight back to sleep again, but i know they stink.
I hope you have a lovely day today, sounds like you have good plans! Just doing housework here, not half as much fun!!
Spk later xx
WG
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Post by littlelotty on Apr 5, 2008 7:54:53 GMT
I am starting to get really anxious and I am now really worried about having a panic attack today. I have just checked my bank balance online and there is hardly anything left for the month and now I am really worried about money and can't calm down. What a difference from yesterday. I might phone my friend up and see if she wants to meet up as I do not think I can manage today. I guess the nightmare has knocked my confidence and my positive feeling!
LittleLotty
xx
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