kate
New Member
Posts: 7
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Post by kate on Aug 8, 2005 20:35:40 GMT
are you around. i'm here til about ten kate xxx
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Post by natalie on Aug 9, 2005 13:23:37 GMT
Dear Kate
Sorry I was watching the programme about OCD, which is another thing that happened to me during my illness. It does seem that Puerperal Psychosis gives you a taster of all sorts of mental illnesses!!!
Hope you are OK, and maybe we can catch each other another time,
Take care
Natalie
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Post by natalie on Aug 9, 2005 13:24:30 GMT
Dear Kate
Sorry I was watching the programme about OCD, which is another thing that happened to me during my illness. It does seem that Puerperal Psychosis gives you a taster of all sorts of mental illnesses!!!
Hope you are OK, and maybe we can catch each other another time,
Take care
Natalie
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kate
New Member
Posts: 7
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Post by kate on Aug 9, 2005 13:45:54 GMT
i know that one well. cleaning is my forte... have an unbelievable urge to clean, cant control it and woe betide anyone who gets in my way. I dont even like the kids having toys out and my friends always make sure they tidy up before they leave my house. how embarrassing is that?
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Post by Veritee on Aug 10, 2005 11:44:53 GMT
Dear Natalie
I do indeed have an Email for Elaine (Hanzak ) - and I would be very glad to pass on an email from you and I know she would be glad to hear from you.
I just did not respond before as last week I was very busy with my relatives - I could hardly draw a breath - and then we went away for the weekend.
But send the email to me at veritee@pni.org.uk or click email on the header picture above and mark it - to be forwarded to Elaine
I hope you ( and Kate and anyone else who has suffered PP) are finding this forum at least a little useful and I am planning to do a PP section shortly, so I welcome your suggestions for this
All the best
Veritee
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Post by Natalie on Aug 10, 2005 15:28:10 GMT
Dear Veritee
Thanks for that, I will dig out my draft and mail it to you later
Natalie
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kate
New Member
Posts: 7
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Post by kate on Aug 14, 2005 21:21:33 GMT
how are you natalie? I am having a rough time, i'm not really on the planet some of the time. alarm bells are ringing that i am slipping back into one of te psychotic phases again but feel powerless to stop it.
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Post by cheshire on Aug 14, 2005 22:19:26 GMT
Kate
I wish I could help but am thinking of you
Hopefulx
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kate
New Member
Posts: 7
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Post by kate on Aug 17, 2005 21:10:05 GMT
How long does pp last, i am getting sick of constantly fighting this
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Post by Veritee on Aug 18, 2005 23:18:04 GMT
Hi Kate
I do so feel for you - whatever your mental condition, PP, PNI or any mental health issue it is awful when you felt you were getting somewhere - getting better - and then you slip down again!.
It is so disappointing and so frustrating as well as downright scary!
Can I ask what help you are getting?
I assume that you have regular visits from a CPN and that you are on medication? Your CPN should be able to gauge if you are going down again.
I have a friend who is a CPN and they get very skilled at judging this just by coming round and talking to you ( I also have a friend with bi-polar herself who has a CPN call every week and once or twice she has been able to tell my friend that she was slipping and to get her medication upped before she knew it herself!)
If you do feel yourself that you are going down again, it is best to have this confirmed in case it is something else, such as a physical illness, tiredness which can bring on temporarily an upsurge of symptoms, extra stress or simply fear of it happening again.
What is your other support like? When you left the hospital did they put in place a package of effective support?
Do you have a helpful and understanding partner, husband, friends, family Who if you feel you really can not cope - can take over?
You sound like you really need a break to take stock and getting up in the night to see to a teething baby is stressful for everyone - but for you it could mean the difference between getting ill or not again and it is so important not to slip back into the nightmare world you have been in.
Please go to your consultant or perinatal specialist as it is best to check it out before the possibility of going downhill overwhelms you and you feel paralysed to be proactive and get the help you need.
Can your partner/husband not get up for the baby for a week or so? I know that he probably has to work and this would be a strain, but he does not have PP, he will be tired but he will survive.
Failing this do you not have a sister, brother mother, fathe,r friend who can stay for a few days to give you a break?
I hope also we can support you on here - I think their are many who could support you, especially those on here who have had psychotic symptoms but the diagnosis of PP might lead them think they can not relate to how you feel or support you.
But I think we can - whatever type of PNI we have , we still all share the distress, having to look after our child feeling so ill, the problems of just coping with household tasks etc - we share more than we don’t.
It is important not to separate/alienate yourself from those who can offer you some understanding, even if it is not as comprehensive as you would like.
I did feel from some of your earlier posts that you were a little angry that some of us felt we could relate to some of what you have experienced as we had hallucinations and other psychotic type symptoms, angry because we could not possibly understand the nightmare of being as severely ill as you have been?
I agree and accept that we were still despite this able to cope to a degree as our thinking was not as 'disorganised' as someone with full blown PP and therefore we were not hospitalised and unlike PP we did not get progressively worse so that hospitalisation is the only option.
I get the impression you therefore feel that none of us can relate to you and therefore can be no help?
Forgive me if this is not so , I can only try to understand where someone is coming from and of course I get it wrong all the time, but I would rather try and be wrong , than not try at all!!
But can we not be of help? - not because we experienced exactly what you did - but just because we care? We want to.
There are differences also between PP suffers even.
I have found that some actually described parts of it as an enjoyable experience!! completely different from the nightmare you had , as they were so high or manic and felt they could achieve anything and were feeling buzzing - so we all have different experiences even with the same diagnosis!!
- this was the impression I got from some of what you said and the 'feeling' behind what you said rather than just the content - that we could not understand and we could not be supportive or helpful to you - that only someone who had experienced PP could offer you support?
If I had a way of emailing you I would have explained privately about how I, if not relate to being hospitalised due to PP, I can relate to the process of hospitalisation - but did not really want to confuse the issue as this did not happen to me due to PNI or PP and it was many years before PNI and I consider it unrelated.
But believe me I can totally relate to being so full of medication that you can not think even if you were capable of thought before you were given it - and how you lose everything of yourself when hospitalized in a mental health unit or institution.
I was in a mental health system of the 70s so I did literally lose everything of myself, my identity as even all my possessions were taken away from me - even my clothes!! As this was the policy then so you would be visible if you tried to leave you had to wear a hospital gown and a bright striped dressing gown – I think I can understand some of the stuff you have gone through a little and I am surer many more on here have experiences too.
I can also relate from the other point of view and have some understanding of mental health, due to subsequently qualifying as a teacher and youth worker and for over 20 years specialising in young people with mental health and addiction issues
I did not want to say all this on the forum as it is off the topic of PNI and PP - I was hoping you would register with us so we could talk to you on PM or email sometimes
So please can you let us try to help?
As to how long PP lasts, well according to all I have read and the doctor I asked your question of - not as long as you have had it - at least it is not commonly understood to last more than 3 or 4 months at the acute stage.
But they could very well have got this wrong. After all it is thought that PNI/PND lasts for a maximum of a year yet so many of us on this site including myself had it for 5 years or over.
So really I do not think anyone knows - except that it is in general shorter than PNI and like PNI it is not forever, that women with PP do all recover.
in the mean time - let us help
Natalie
How are you? Have you definitely decided to have another baby? Are you going to try – have you settled a bit now?
I passed on your email to Elaine
All the best
Veritee
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kate
New Member
Posts: 7
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Post by kate on Aug 21, 2005 15:28:18 GMT
That is odd, people saying that pp can be enjoyable. I find it the most scary thing in the world not being "me" and in control of my own mind.
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Post by Veritee on Aug 21, 2005 16:34:34 GMT
Hi Kate
How are you? Yes I suppose its odd, but being ill with a mental illness - odd is the nature of the beast I suppose?
I have been told by some who have experienced it that having manic symptoms can be, if not exactly enjoyable - but more euphoric - I guess thats what they meant by enjoyable?? And everyone experiences mental illness differently and at differnt stages.
My personal experience of this kind of illness is I have to agree, never been less than all bad and a living nightmare!
But what about you Kate? I said lots of stuff in the hope that some of it may help - apart from the small part of what I said that you responded to.
and I took a risk and told you about my own experience of the psychiatric system - I searched my knowledge and personal experience to try to find something you will want to respond to as I felt that you do not have anywhere else ( is there an Internet support group for PP? I have not come across one ?)
I picked up the feeling that you may not trust us on here and I was hoping if I told you a bit about my experiences you may feel more able to trust, or at least feel that some of us can?
I also wondered about your current situation - your current support since you left the hospital, who you have to rely on?
I would imagine that you came to this forum and stayed to at least post a few times I guess because you felt we could support you in some way through your illness ?
( well I am just guessing that this is why as you have given us so little to go on and this is usually why people stay around)
But I now feel we have a failed to give you the support you need and I do not know how to support you or what we can offer you ?
Can we help and support you? - if you do not want to talk in the open forum you are welcome to use the Personal Message facility to myself or anyone or email or even the phone if this will be better for you.
Have you contacted the APNI? - they offer telephone and other support by ex-sufferers and they may have a volunteer with experience of PP that can support you directly as the APNI have more ex- sufferers to draw upon than we do.
The APNI is a very professional service backed by some of the leading specialists in all kinds of PNI
so if we cant support you , they may be able to, but of course feel free to talk to us on here too
All the best
Veritee
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kate
New Member
Posts: 7
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Post by kate on Aug 21, 2005 17:40:43 GMT
I have read everything you hae said. I am not angry or think that you cannot help me I am just very confused. I have been let down by my mental health team badly, it seems like lots of people have. I am very tired, confused and frustrated. it is all very hard to deal with.
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Post by Veritee on Aug 21, 2005 22:09:17 GMT
Hang on in there Kate
I too have been badly let down by those who were supposed to help me both when I had PNI and before when I was a very young woman . I have been very confused ( and hurt ) so I understand this.
I do not want to confuse you - or upset you further - but I do want you to know that we are willing to listen and we do not have any hidden agenda or reason for wanting to support you - or anyone.
beyond of course suffering ourselves - even if not exactly the same I think we all on here have suffered in our own way?
Sorry if I misinterpreted you as being annoyed with us - I just have to stab in the dark really and try to work out what is happening for people from the little they say
and of course I get it wrong often - but I need to try
And of course if you do not choose to register as a member anything you say on here is completely anonymous as it is unlikely that anyone reading this will ever know who you really are.
And I was just worried that we were failing you
That we were just not understanding how it was/is for you.
I would like to learn about PP so this forum can offer to support others with it in the future as well as hoping you can gain some support for yourself.
Why don't you tell us something about yourself ?
About how you feel and how PP affects your life - about how you have been let down and why?
there will be no repercussions from this as we do not even know who you are!
but I do understand if you can not and do not want to talk to us
or anyone
I will leave it here
If you want to talk we will be on the forum anytime you feel you can say anything
All the best
Veritee
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kate
New Member
Posts: 7
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Post by kate on Aug 22, 2005 8:03:25 GMT
If you give me a list of questions you want me to answer i will register and answer them for you but I cannot think to write something without some prompting
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